Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[pe...]]

Hi Pan,

 

Just want to say good luck on getting rid of your last med.

Don't know anything about remeron, but I feel pretty sure that nothing can compete with benzo withdrawal!

And being on such a small dose, should not be a problem.

 

If it is related at all to Trazadone, I do have experience there.

Took traz for a short time for sleep..50mg at first, then 100, then back to 50, down to 25, then off.

All of that took place in a span of 4 months...this past mid-December to mid-April.

No problem at all going up or down or stopping.  And it did help me sleep....so, a med that did what it was supposed to do with no bad repercussions!  Miracle!

 

Hope it goes well!

 

Tish

[[ho...]]

Hi all

 

well.. im so concerned with this fatigue.. i made appt for monday with my doctor.. to see a specialist or someone who specializes in diagnosing chronic fatigue!! cuz i cant get by day to day, clean my house, look after my children, cook meals etc.. its that bad... enough is enough.. soo.. and i read up on  it, on the internet... and really.. i do have some of alot of what it explains.. doesnt matter, the sleep i get. i never recover.. and thats what chronic fatigue is, and cant function daily..etc... oh this is not fun..

 

hope

[[pe...]]

Hi Hope,

 

CFS is a real thing, I have come to understand.

 

Hope the doctor can shed some light on your situation.

Know how disheartening and miserable it is...am having one of those days myself.

 

Let us know how it goes.

 

I'll hope for the best!

 

Tish

[[ho...]]

Hi percussion

 

ya CFS it thats what im dealing with!? its really really, harsh.... it is really a bad, chronic illness.. not to be taking lightly...im soo upset with this...words cannot express.. and the crying ive been doing the last almost 3 weeks. its been real rough! for me its been weeks, not days..

 

Im sorry your having a bad day! hang in there, and thanks for listening.

 

hope

[[pe...]]

Hope,

 

So sorry for you!  Will wait to hear what the doctor says.

 

My day got a little better.....hope it's the healing!

 

Don't know if it will make you feel any better, but I cried at least 3-5 times every day for 25 days back in December.

It was DREADFUL....WORST EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE.....you may be still in w/d's.......this stuff is MEAN.

 

Please let us know.

 

Tish

[[ve...]]

Thanks for the update Pange.  That's awesome that you're feeling stabilized . Sounds like you're making the most of the time off to spend with your family and continue healing off the benzo.  Regarding the remeron, although its a small dose, I'd exercise caution as far as giving yourself time to really feel healed from the benzo withdrawal before tackling another taper "too soon".  You seem to be doing so well now.  My experience is only one person, but I found that things really started to improve around 5 months off.  Sometimes when beginning a taper off an A/D "too soon" after the taper, it can interfere with the benzo healing process.  That being said, everyone is different and if you feel you're ready, as long as you go about it in a gradual fashion and hopefully with some input from your doctor, hopefully it will go smoothly.  

 

Hope, keep us posted on your chronic fatigue.  Will be interested to hear what your doctor has to say.  Maybe some of your fatigue partly has to do with post withdrawal and related to the paxil taper?  Nevertheless, good to get checked out by your doctor.

 

As for me, it's almost six months off valium (next Monday).  I'm currently experiencing some blues and jet lag after a fair amount of travel and family stress in April.  My 87 year old father has leukemia and had another round of chemotherapy this past month.  It's been about a year remission for him since the last treatment, but there were multiple health issues in the last six months.  I was out on the West Coast for the chemo and to help my father hire people to repair his broken main sewer line and replaster his pool at the same time.  Had to have the concrete pool deck dug up to get to the sewer. It wasn't pretty, but it did get done. Also spent a week visiting my mother in law in Texas over Spring Break.  Life's challenges don't stop after the last benzo!  Anyway, despite some of these hurdles, sleep is better in the sixth month.  Anxiety and blues still come and go but healing is ongoing and appears to be moving in the right direction now.

 

Best wishes,

 

V (no more)

 

 

[[pe...]]

Hi V.....I'm looking so forward to six months off...sounds like the time frame that the magic begins....but I'm not getting too hopeful....will take it as it comes.

 

Thanks for always sharing your great words of wisdom.

 

Tish

[[do...]]

Hey V.

thought I would drop by and say hello.

You know I was'nt referring to you or anyone when I said about people posting or not (I cant really remember what I said V) on my blog. I really value your support V and thank you for that support over this difficult time. It would be a shame for you to wind down your blogs as you give so much support to members. I hope you will keep dropping by my friend. Hey I can drop by here now i am Benzo free no?!

Take care.

Doc.

[[...]]

Hi Pange,

 

I don't have any experience with tapering an A/D, but I too have asked others about it.  What I have been told by people with experience is:

 

1) Don't taper off "too" early.  Others have had a similar experience as you did when you tried getting off while on the klonopin.  I myself starting a very slow taper of lexapro just a few weeks back, when I had only been off valium for 3 weeks.  I went back up to my full, regular dose when I started to get very bad headaches, and felt significantly more stressed and anxious than "normal".  So...I think that V's suggestion to wait until you've felt good for a while is a good idea (V does tend to have very wise things to say)  

 

2) People have told me to taper slowly.  I have gotten a liquid so that I can taper in increments of .5 mg or less if I want to (from 10 mgs).  One person took a month to get off, but that was from half of what I'm taking (I don't know what the "equivalency" dose of lexapro vis a vis remeron would be).  Another person, who was on 10 mgs of lexapro, took about 14 months to get off.  Both reported that it was relatively very easy (e.g., much easier than with a benzo).  The first person (1 month) was the same person who had great difficulty when she tried to taper too soon.  

 

I hope this is of some help.  I am going to wait until I am off valium for 2 months or more before I start tapering again.  If I have problems after cutting 1 mg, or .5 mgs, then I will go back to 10 mgs and wait again.  It's hard to contemplate being on the drug for a longer time before tapering, but I know that the feeling of impatience can sometimes get me in trouble with a taper my body is not able to adjust to somewhat smoothly.  As usual, I'm going to do my best to trust my body and what it is trying to tell me.

 

By the way, there is a website called paxilprogress.org which is similar to this; in that they have a forum with lots of threads, some good info, etc.  The only problem I had with it is that it appears to be very much restricted to getting off paxil.  A few people I have talked to have said lexapro is easier to taper than paxil.  I don't know if that's true, but I hope so.  Anyway, you might want to visit that site and ask your question.  You might also google "remeron withdrawal" and see what you find.  I did that for lexapro.  It was of some help, but unfortunately I found quite a bit of conflicting info.

 

Good luck to you, Pange!

 

Rumi

 

p.s.  Hi V...  I'm glad you're in "one piece" after your travels...but sorry you're feeling blue.  I continue to feel pretty good much of the time.  Body tension (esp tension headaches) and short sleep are pretty much my only "complaints".  

[[pa...]]

Thank you so much rumi, percusion and V for your feedback, advice, information, and kind words! I will definetely consider all things before discontinuing the remeron. I think you're right V that I should probably wait till I'm more stabilized. If and when I do, I will surely take it slow. I feel that I've become a real master at tapering now. I will say that Wed night, I skipped a dose just to see how I'd feel the next day. In the past , I was able to do this on occasions when I was considering a taper from this med. Anyway, I didn't notice too much except a very subtle lack of energy that I might compare to how someone might feel when their cutting back on coffee. I took my regular dosage last night.

It's interesting, but when I first started having inter dose tolerance w/d from the klonopin and I considered a quiting the remeron, I seemed to start wanting to drink coffee more! Strange. The hardest part was that I could never stabilize. Sometimes feeling wired, sometimes seasick, etc... I journaled each day when this was happening and it's as though I could expect to have one day when I would feel 'to up, or agitated', one day fine, one day 'to down depressed or lethargic'. It was a mess!

Dr Who, you are most certainly invited to join us! I'm sorry but there hasn't been postings from me to you. I have read some of your story and I'd always had it in my mind that we would hook up. I've mostly been spending time here or with other members who are newer to the forum and need help as they come on board. We certainly welcome you, and congradulations on being benzo-free!!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend!! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the moms!!

[[ve...]]

Many thanks for your kindness Rumi, Doc, Pange, Tish...  I appreciate the vote of confidence, but to be clear, I've gotten it wrong sometimes, messed things up like everyone else at times, done some stupid things I regret. Afterall, I took a benzo, didn't I?  Where's the wisdom in that one Wish I'd never taken a benzo sometimes .  Yet, ultimate healing might come in trying to find some positives in this benzo journey.  Looking forward rather than backward seems like a more helpful way, and of course even more important, staying present . Congrats on your benzo freedom Doc  and welcome any time to the post benzo withdrawal support club/thread. I did respond on your blog about that other thing, no worries.  Glad to see that you're doing and feeling well Rumi.   I've had a bit of a rough week with jet lag and fatigue after a very long trip to visit my inlaws and sick father.  Gotta try and take it a day at a time.

 

Happy Mother's Day as Pange said,

 

 

V (no more)

[[Me...]]

Hey Verti    Sorry about your Dad.  My father in law in doing chemo for multiple myeloma and is so sick .....I feel for them.  I have had some bouts of depression too...so weird for me   I think it is the stress and not fully feeling back to normal that gets to me.  I am ready for summer...well my body isnt..but my head is !!!     

[[ve...]]

Hey Mel.  Sorry about your father in law.  Is he getting treatment at MD Anderson in Houston? I hear that it's top notch.  I've consulted with some doctors there for my father's leukemia. They've been very helpful even though I've not taken him there yet.  My father in law also used MD Anderson protocols for his cancer ten years ago.  Anyway, hope the blues subside.  I think its part of dealing with life stress without a pill to mask reactions and feelings.  Should be a better summer than last year, benzo free :yippee: .

 

Onward .

 

V (no more)

 

 

[[pa...]]

Hi everyone!

Just thought I'd drop by and report some new s/xs that I've had the last few days and get some feedback.

To recap, I take 2mg remeron daily. Also, I've taken melatonin off and on for about 3 1/2 years. I started taking the melatonin supplement again last October after a break of 1 1/2 months when my taper got low and I was experiencing pain and was concerned about my sleep being affected. I've taken .75mg melatonin (to do this, I cut the 3mg tablet into 4 pieces) 30 minutes before bedtime. It's been pretty helpful to me in getting to sleep for various reasons: insomnia, anxiety, shift work requiring sleep changes, w/d from benzos, etc... Let me say that I'm not one who agrees that supplements are the way to go long term if sleep is an issue. In my case, I was, at times, pretty desperate  for a good nights sleep. Also, I've used this supplement for awhile and never noticed any adverse effects.

Recently, this past week, I did 2 things. Wed night, I skipped a dose of the remeron to see how it would affect me the next day. Didn't notice too much, except, I felt a bit sedated with perhaps a slight feeling of dizziness. Fri night through Sun night (3 nights total), I skipped taking the melatonin to see how I would sleep without it. I noticed no difficulty sleep during this time... In fact, I even felt myself falling asleep earlier than when I take the supplement. I have taken breaks in the past from this supplement in the past and noticed No w/d.

To make a long story short, the past few days, I've noticed some newer s/xs that have been bothersome for me. There is a feeling of dizziness, trembling and increased heart rate, and exhaustion. I would rate these on a scale of about 4 from 1 to 10 in severity. Mostly, the feelings are new for me which make them feel bothersome.

I have googled 'melatonin withdrawl' and gotten a bunch of hits which all seem to have different information making it difficult for me to form an understanding. Perhaps, if I'm going to stop taking melatonin, I should taper? Then again, I've also heard many members report that new s/xs can indeed pop up later in benzo withdrawl. It's so hard to know with so many possibilities. I'm also wondering if I could have developed a tolerance to the remeron? I've searched for this med on the forum and their doesn't seem to be too many members who have experience taking this med.

In conclusion, I can see that I still have a ways to go. I will definetely excercise caution when attempting any further withdrawal from either melatonin or remeron. I'm so glad to be free of benzos, but I'm looking forward to the day when I am completely free of meds and can just feel like myself again!

 

[[...]]

Seven months today since I took my last miserable piece of benzo.  Unfortunately the last three days the little benzo man seems to have popped his head up again.  Odd tingling sensations in my head, eye issues and because of all this, increased anxiety again - just when I was starting to get back into life again!!!  My mornings are back to being my worst times but by mid to late afternoon start to come right and most of the symptoms disappear.

 

The only good thing to report my sleep patterns are getting back to normal.  Sometimes I don't wake at all during the night.  Insomnia was never really a problem for me - had the occasional sleepless night, but I've always had broken sleep for pretty much the entire taper.

 

I just have to keep convincing myself this is benzo withdrawal - something inside me still isn't totally convinced.  The fact that the s/x disappear in the afternoon/evening tells me it must be withdrawal, if it was something else I wouldn't feel well only the evenings.  Still at least I'm managing to do all the things I want to do now so from where I was a year ago, this is okay.

 

Hopefully we can start a thread in a few weeks/months - The Completely Free of Benzos Group!  Hang in there everyone!

[[ve...]]

Good on you for making 7 months LB .  Also, if you're doing most of the things you want to do, that's a grand accomplishment.  Sorry the benzo head has popped up a bit the last few days, the waves and windows still fluctuate for me.

 

Today is my anniversary too, 6 months off to the day .   Like LB, my sleep has mostly returned to "normal".  I am sleeping through most nights, but still occasionally get up to go to the bathroom, but this was common for me  BEFORE BENZOs.  

 

I think its important, IMO, to remember that most of us took a benzo for a reason.  Everything was not "peachy" before taking the tiny colored pill.  So if there are some residual symptoms or issues at six months off, I would think while some could still be withdrawal related, it is also possible that some could be normal everyday stress but now coping with it without a pill to mask emotions and reactions.  Also,  maybe there could be a pre condition that has returned or starting to return in terms of symptoms?  Just speculating (not talking of anyone in particular).  For example, I took a benzo two years ago because I was having trouble sleeping and issues with anxiety over a stressful family situation.  What has changed in the last six months for me is that I'm no longer taking  benzo   but that family situation has gotten worse!  My elderly father almost died end of last year, has been in hospital seven weeks of the last four months, I've had to fly to the West Coast three times, be away from my family for about two months and a very hostile difficult sibling has put up a fuss over every decision we've had to make for and with our father.  Several of my father's pipes burst last December including his main sewer line which I had to supervise repair of last month.  Last summer, he had termites and rodents, the year before he had a beehive in his air conditioning.  Sounds like 12 plagues .  His house, like him, is over eighty years old!  I also got Shingles at the beginning of the year, partly from the stress and who knows, could partly be from not having the benzo pill in the system to cover things up (got Shingles just six weeks after my taper finished, coincidence?).

 

Anyway, not complaining.  I can say that like LB, Hope, Meljo, MAA, Pangelingua, Leena, Rumi, Tish, Ginger, Patty, Retire... and others who have posted here (sorry, can't remember every name), I do get waves of blues, fatigue or other symptoms.   Anxiety oscillates, have had elevated blood pressure a few months ago and had a couple near panic attacks where heart raced uncontrollably, which is very strange for me since I never had a panic attack even before benzos.  I don't know that all of it is still benzo withdrawal/recovery but I think some of it is still the system trying to stabilize and reconnect with itself.   I think if there are other meds involved that have not been tapered yet like I know some of you may still take for one reason or another, symptoms could possibly linger longer and/or things could get stirred up a bit when doing other tapers, again just speculation as i'm not a doctor.  I am not judging anyone for taking other meds, just suggesting exercising caution as to how soon to taper another med after stopping the benzo taper.  

 

I don't wish to be a "victim" to this benzo beast forever either.  I really do believe that things were not perfect before I took the pill and that some of this is just life.   Anyway, I am still happy to be over with the worst of the benzo experience.  I have been able to tolerate a few glasses of wine on occasion since March or so,  but still seem to have reactions to coffee so I'm a tea totaler for now and maybe for a while.  Anyway, wishing you all the best in your post benzo life.

 

 

V (no more)

 

 

[[...]]

V, you really have had a lot going on in your life lately, not only dealing with your father's illness but the travel involved and all the other issues as well.  You are doing an amazing job.  It was shortly after having to convince my then 91 year old mother that she really shouldn't continue living in her own home that I started having the panic attacks.  It was a rough time for all of us, in the end it all worked itself out but it was not an easy time all round - and I don't blame my mother for my being where I am now.  There was a long string of issues in my life going back many years and I suppose this was just the final straw in an already worked up system.

 

But V, well done for making six months off and with all the added stress you're dealing with at present.  And with no thought of going back on the little coloured pills.  Congratulations.

 

You're definitely right about dealing with the issues that put us on these pills in the first place.  I know I still have anxiety and I can generally keep it under control now.  Somehow though when I get these flare ups they seem to come when I'm doing really well and starting to enjoy life and oddly enough in quite a relaxed frame of mind.  It's almost as though the little benzo man wants to have the final say and doesn't want me to get on with life.  We'll all have to deal with whatever life throws at us in the future, but I'm determined that I don't want to go the pill route ever again (benzos that is) - and I am stubborn and determined enough to do this (just ask my husband!!!!)

 

Take care.

[[Me...]]

Yeah for U V !!  6 months  :thumbsup:    LB...I am on day 3 of outta nowhere of insanity popping its head back up !!  Dizzy, anxious, foggy,DR, fatigue, eye blurry badly......  Maybe its in the air !!!      I was doing sooo well....  80 - 90 % !!!!!    Its so annoying isnt it !!  Verti you always have so much good enlightment !!   

[[st...]]

Meljo, at my 2 month mark off date I thought I was about 80% healed and then got hit at the 7th month mark.  We just never know when it will come back to haunt us.  Well, I guess it is back to using your coping skills again......darn it, ha?

 

Patty  xo

[[Me...]]

I rubbed some progesterone on and in an hour I was feeling better !!  I even mowed !!  Soooooo weird !!  I was soooo ill these last few days...I had to lie down when I had blood drawn.....couldnt even get my words outta my mouth right....Then out mowing grass !!      I am happy....Hope it stays !!!!      Eye is still blurry though      Coping....trying any how 

[[le...]]

Hi Meljo...wow!  That is quite a dramatic change, isn't it?  Do you normally use progesterone cream?  I am so glad that there was such a turn-a-round!  I AM, sorry, though...that you had this sudden onslaught of symptoms again.

 

Today is my "6 months off" anniversary.  I THINK I am on a very gradual climb out, though this week has been kind of tough. But I will keep on keeping on, just as you are!  I am glad to know that you had achieved at least a period of near-normalcy!  It will come back!

 

Love,

Leena

[[af...]]

Well done Verti, LB, Leena. I crossed the 6 month line 10 days ago. What i c is improvement all around, a confirmation that this hell is not forever.

 

And, yes, life pre-Benzos was was not all rosy, but these drugs were certainly not the answer.

 

Kev

[[ve...]]

Little wave of symptoms this week, nothing terrible but not pleased about it nevertheless.  First, I've had a hermerhoid for a while, thought it would just go away but still hanging around.  Stomach and GI system has thousands if not millions of GABA receptors so not surprising.  It's not a big deal but if I'm gonna be honest, there are still some symptoms, whether stress related or like the Shingles, some expression of ongoing anxiety or revved up system from not having a little pill to just keep all muscles relaxed and all stressful reactions in check.

 

Also, I've had a mini panic attack a few days ago.  Went upstairs, started feeling a bit of cog fog at the top of the stairs, was tired, allergies have been bothering me... all came together and a slight off balance feeling led to a slight fear that vertigo could be coming on which led to an adrenalin rush (it was upstairs in the same room the vertigo first happened during c/t 2 years ago).  Heart started racing, no chest pain, but I was annoyed that I could have a reaction so quickly.

 

Maybe I've been doing so well lately that any thought of benzo taper symptoms like cog fog or dizzies coming on and I freaked myself out with going into  palpitations.   Guess it's back to the drawing board on anxiety and post benzo "freedom".  Even at six months off, things still are happening post benzo.  That being said, I am not going to let it get the best of me.  I'll just say, bring it on.  I can handle a slight dizzy or cog fog feeling wave!  Not gonna avoid it or fear it.  And if palpitations come on, so be it.   I'll just try to have faith in my maker that what is happening is for a purpose so I'm not gonna worry about dying.   I'm aware of it and will deal with it as it comes.

 

 

Onward!

 

V (no more)

 

 

[[...]]

V, I've been having mini panic attacks for a while now.  Well they actually started in February this year when they were full blown panic attacks - usually I'd wake up during the night having one, so I didn't even get a chance to know what was going on. Those ones have disappeared (for the moment) but I still get mini panic attacks from time to time, during the day now.

 

I'm just hoping that when the benzo finally disappears from my body the panic attacks will go away for good.  Who knows - just seems weird that people who never had a panic attack in their life, get them when they're in withdrawal. 

 

I too am just accepting what gets thrown at me each day - some days are better than others.  Still seems like my nervous system is in overdrive though. 

 

Onward indeed - there's no other choice.  This aint gonna beat me - never, never, never give up.

[[gi...]]

Panic, anxiety, insomnia -- all those conditions for which benzos are prescribed can manifest post withdrawal even in those who'd not had them prior to benzo use.  It's part of what's known as the Benzo Paradox.

 

If you haven't tried cognitive behavior therapy, I strongly recommend it. (It's even recommended in some research of PWS sufferers.)  I was prescribed K for panic & anxiety, and have pushed off every single anxiety attack (and hence every panic attack) since my last dose simply by applying CBT!

 

16 months out - 5 chronic symptoms - running about 83% normal.  It's all about acceptance and accommodation!

 

ginger