Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

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hey cupcake... I haven't slept well the last 2 nights. At least now, I know why!!

I was in our local library Thurs evening and did a search there for Claire Weekes book. Unfortunately, our library doesn't have it. A librarian did a web search for me and found quite a books that this woman has written. Is the one you recommend called, "Health and Hope for Your Nerves"?. This was one of the titles that popped up and it sounded familiar.

MAA, so great to hear that your feeling better!!

HangingInthere, sorry to hear about your stomach trouble. I can recall during my taper having some stomach discomfort also for a short period of time... Not fun! Revolutionblue is a member who's an excellent source for info on nutrition... I'm sure he has some recommendations that could help your stomach troubles. He has a post on the buddie blogs.

Hang in there! I know the w/d can be difficult at times but always remember that your off and healing full time now!!!

Take care everyone! Hope you're all enjoying the weekend!!

[[Re...]]

Hey All,

 

    Had a mini wave of symptoms the past seven days:  insomnia (staying asleep, not sleep onset), loss of appetite, mild case of panic, but the worse was intense muscle cramping in the rear of my neck, lat and traps.  All is well now; the wave was short-lived, but I found myself being truly angry with benzos for the first time during my healing/recovery journey.  I am now at 9 months off, and I had been enjoying a wonderful window that was open for two months.  It closed for 7 days, and now it appears to have reopened again.

 

    Enjoy your weekend, God bless, and stay the course.

 

     

 

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Retire..sorry to hear of your bad seven days at 9 months off...just so glad for you that it didn't last long.  Bet it was a scare, though, after 2 months of wide-open windows!

Cupcake, bet you feel off because of your cold....that will sure do it.  Don't know anything about the full moon and sleep..never heard that one.

HangingIn...better just hang in!  We all know just what you are feeling and it is the pits, for sure.  But you were on the meds for such a short time, hopefully that means your w/d with be short...sure hope so for you!

The physical symptoms do make you feel bad mentally...that is where the benzobuddies help..hearing others stories sure helped to get me through.

 

My days are getting better and better....have fewer really bad days lately.  Hope it continues.  Still the derealization that is driving me crazy, but at least the cog fog is improving.  The sunshine here in North Carolina helps!

 

Hope for better days for us all!

Tish

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I've been having some windows again, but they don't last long.  Up until yesterday, this whole week has been one big closed window.  I had a pretty good window on Saturday and went to the store.  Is it normal to feel depressed, crying and achy one minute and then have a window of feeling normal and happy and then back to depressed and achy, up and down all day?  Is this what it's like on the other side and then windows get bigger?

 

Retire:  I hope that your windows stay open.  It was great to hear that you had two whole months of a window.  I am so hopeful when I hear this.  By the way I've read about the beet, apple and carrot juice that you stated in other posts and I'm hoping it helps.  I'm trying to juice the combo every day and I am hoping it helps cleanse my liver now that I'm not on the med anymore.  Thanks for posting.  I have since purchased the Dr. Bob book as well.

 

Percussion:  I am hanging and hoping to have more windows.  It's great to hear that your days are getting better.  It's encouraging to know that there is hope.  I do read a lot of stories, especially in the post-withdrawal group and in the success stories to get some encouragement and to get an idea of how it goes after the benzo.  I can't believe that being on this stuff for such short period of time can cause so much damage.

 

Hope:  The fatigue is rough, I know.  One minute I think maybe I'm getting better and able to do stuff, only to be smacked back down and feel like I have the flu and gasping for air and wondering if I can climb back up the steps.  Hang in there.

 

Gagger: I could definitely go for a coffee and a nice cold beer right now myself, but I won't dare touch either until I know I am healed.

 

I am praying that everyone has windows that remain open. 

 

 

 

 

 

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HangingInThere,

 

  Let me know what you think of Dr. Bob's book after reading.  The information in the book truly has helped me in the quest to naturally balance my female hormones.  Perimenopause is much kinder now; and too, after being 9 months benzo free, I think that is a big plus to my endocrine system as well.

 

  I'm still drinking the beet juice (or some other) fresh juice, that is where the true healing is, in organic foods!

 

    Stay the course.

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Percussion,

 

    I wasn't so much scared as I was angry and disappointed; such is life post benzo.  The window has opened again and I hope and pray this time that it remains open for good.

 

    I'm staying the course!

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Is it normal to feel depressed, crying and achy one minute and then have a window of feeling normal and happy and then back to depressed and achy, up and down all day?  Is this what it's like on the other side and then windows get bigger?

Seems that way.  This is the erratic process of getting this poison out of our systems.  My windows are definitely opening wider and wider day by day again.  Its a slow process for me though.  Just gotta be patient - patience and me never did go well together so it's a new learning curve!!

 

I just want to wake up one morning and feel "normal" again.  Keep hoping and definitely stay the course, it does get better (even I believe that now after preaching if for many months)

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Dear post benzo buddies,

 

I have not posted in a while, but i am back to announce that i am today 6 months off!!!!!! I have decided, however, to post my update in the Benzo-free Celebarations section. Go there for more.

 

As ever, u r all in my prayers

 

Kev

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Congratulations!

 

I will pray for you to have 150% healing very quickly!!

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Hey Kev.  Just read your post under "benzo success stories".  Very good to see how even though after a few months of struggling that you turned the corner and are moving in the right direction now towards healing and better days.  I'll be six months off next week so I'm right behind you.  I might post on that next week.  So glad to hear you're feeling so much better at six months off :yippee:

 

V (no more)

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Hi Kev,

(et al, too) ...Our stories, dosage, etc. are remarkably similar. Approx. same time of usage and same dosage...I've declared myself 'well' just over the last few weeks. Probably not 100%, but most days darn close. I say I'm well because for the first time in over a year i've been working at my art in the manner that i used to, with satisfying results. It's been euphoria time for me the last few days in particular. Not being able to do my work well was a fate worse than death. I don't think i ever doubted i would 'be back' but i began to wonder when. The last symptom is G.I. disturbance...but I trust one day soon that shall pass, too. My energy has returned, most importantly my creative energy.

 

good luck in your final stages.

[[ho...]]

Hi all...

 

well.. im only at 10 weeks off.. and struggling w major fatigue exhaustion.... im getn soo worried with this. i mean i wake up after sleepn 7 hrs and dont feel rested at all... even after 4 nights of good sleep, i still feel exhausted beyond whats normal... i mean my eyes feel like cement... i get weird body sensations, feel like im shaky, the tremors still at times...breathlessness still, makes me thing i got something wrong w my lungs.. im having a lung function test done, cuz of the breathing thing...i feel like im living in prison, this is a prison sentence..

 

My family, especially  my mom really is thinkn the doctors are missing something w my health, and with this fatigue! im soo scared... i will never get better! and there is something wrong w me...i still have this unknown mucous i get in my throat still too, i mean im getn weird ideas i have throat cancer, or thryroid cancer or something.. i mean mucous? for what.. i dont know why i have this. .Ive been to an ear, nose , throat specialist, had a camera down my throat, they say things look fine... tons of blood work.. nothing has shown up in the test ive had done..

 

im really struggling, and its soo upsetting, and its eating me inside.. i try and keep positive.. but its soo hard.. ive only spoken with oner other member here, that is battling fatigue as bad as i am... and the both of us struggle to get thru everday like this...im scared i will never be able to work again, and care for my kids.., my fatigue is that bad. I still go out, once and awhile.. but otherwise, im only stay around home, maybe walk my dogs, go to the store, watch tcv a bit, and mostly on the computer.

 

Im honestly worried, i will never recover, and that the paxil and the benzos, have really done a number on my health, and the balance of my body.. that i will never turn that corner to my healing and recovery! :'( sorry.. this is such a downer post, but honestly im not doing that great

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Hope, just go to the benzo.org.uk site and check through the list of withdrawal symptoms.  You'll find everything you are experiencing will be on that list, I can guarantee.

 

Lately, I've had a strange pins and needles sensation in my head - I checked and these feelings are normal for withdrawal.  They are also common with anxiety.  So I guess I don't have a brain tumor after all! . 

 

Acceptance that these drugs do very weird things to our bodies is a must.  You've had so many health checks and they've all come back negative.  We've all been down that route.  I don't go there now.  I've accepted that all of this is benzo withdrawal.  And guess what, it's all slowly getting better.  I can now see an end to this, I never could as little as two months ago when some symptoms returned.

 

Most of us have one thing we focus on during withdrawal.  For me it was the heart palpitations, for you it is the fatigue, another person might have an old injury or surgery that's become their focus of attention.  That's just the way these drugs work, they pick on our weak spots and turn them into major issues.  Your mom won't truly understand benzo withdrawal, so don't let her scare you further.  There is an end to this whether it be the benzo withdrawal or paxil withdrawal.  Once the drugs are completely gone from your body you will heal.  Believe, Hope, believe.

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Dear Hope,

 

Mucous (hate that word) has been one of my worst w/d symptoms.  I, too, have been to an ENT doc and it shows a lot of inflammation and hypersecretion.  I had 2 sinus infections.  There have been several members who have suffered with this symptom.  I have been using Astepro nasal spray to help stop the nose from running (not an antihistamine).  Waverider swears by Alkolol nasal wash but you have to ask the pharmacist for it because it is behind their counter.  I have coughed so much over the past 20 months that I thought I was going to break a rib.  It prevented me from sleeping many, many nights due to the wheezing and coughing.  I am just starting to feel some form of relief.  As far as the fatigue goes.......that, too, is just starting to get better.  Months and months of horrible fatigue so please don't be alarmed that something else is going on with you.  It is just part of this process and 10 weeks off is very early in your post-benzo process.  Keep your chin up.  Keep thinking positive.  If I can do this going on 21 months....anybody can.

 

Patty  xo

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Hi Hope.  I think LB is right.  It's quite common to have fatigue and other symptoms at three months out.  I was very very tired around 12 weeks.  I had to have a nap almost every day and started sleeping well at night too but often woke up tired.  It's weird but REM sleep and dreams return yet it takes a while for the body to reset.  I think the constant anxiety revved up so much last year for me that it cycled into fatigue for several months, for me anyway.  It did get better around 4 1/2 months and from about 5 months, things have been getting gradually even better.  I'm so happy to be sleeping and not getting up in the middle of the night, even if I am still a little tired during the day, but less so in month six off benzos.  I really do believe that six months is a milestone for many people.  Others may take a little longer.  Never say "never".  What you are experiencing is quite typical of benzo healing but that being said, it never hurts to get regular checks with your doctor to rule out other issues. 

 

Feel better,

 

V (no more)

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thanks vertigo, stoney, and LB for the replies...

 

Yes im definatley having a very very difficult time accepting my wiped out, run down body, fatigue is part of the w/d process................just seems soo surreal to be this extreme....i know im only 10 weeks out, but i truly thought i would be feeln a heck of alot better than this! 

 

I wish i could nap in the day, but my body, just wont turn off.. its soo crazzy, when im soo tired, i just cant nap during the day... im sure this would really help my recovery if i could get in naps, while my boys in school.. then also, i feel so lazy just sittn around during the week not doing much, cuz of my lethargy.. its a constant battle, rest? or do stuff? its soo hard to know what is the right balance for me right now???!

 

I mean my doctor is sick of seeing my i think, we'll actually he was before, i havent had much testing done in the last 2 months... but before , and during my taper i had lots of tests done, with nothing showing up..

 

but lately last few weeks, ive been getn some tummy pain , mostly when i lay down to sleep at night, strange.. i feel like my liver, and my organs are screaming at me! or maybe their de-toxifying? .. anyone else have this..like an achy kinda feeling.. who knows.. lol

 

for me stoney my noise isnt the problem, its not coming from my nose, sorry not to be gross.. its coming from my throat, chest.. ICK.. its crazy..

 

acutally before finding this site, i read the ashton manuel.. a friend told me bout it..so i have read the w/d symptoms.. but just hard to accept this fatigue ... if it wasnt so bad, it would be easy to ignore, but this is how we function, and if were so run down hard to function normally... and get things done in a day, that a normal funcitoning person would get done in a day. Good point LB i know im focusing on the fatigue, sorry.. its just soo bad, and its is smack in m face everday....thanks for listening and giveing me support.

 

appreciate it, thanks hope

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Hi Hope and All...

 

Hope, hang in there, as the others have said this is all benzo related, and the great thing about that is that we know it will all go away with time away from the nasty drugs....

 

I know how hard this is with young ones to care for, I have a 9 and 7 year old and taking care of them for the past 15 months or so has been really really hard, but just so you know that things improve with time, I am over 5 months free now and yesterday my kids school was closed so we headed to a theme park and I rode several rollercoasters with them and felt fine after....I was scared that it would cause a 'benzo wave' but it didn't, and I truly believe that had I done this a couple of months back it would have done, so the only thing that has changed has been time away from the poison....

 

The recovery process for some of us is sometimes so slow that we hardly notice, but it does come...

 

Better days are ahead for you...

 

Mxxx

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Hope,

 

I am so sorry for you but must say, I know EXACTLY how you feel. 

Especially about the naps.  I felt so wired for so long - sleep just would not come.

It was so frustrating and exhausting!  But then, with time, sleep came and when it did, it was all I wanted to do!

 

You will get through!!!

 

Hang in there, Hope!

 

Tish

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Hi percussion

 

thanks....im sleepn at night, just cant during the day... last night was a bit rough, woke like 3 times..  but did get sleep.... my tummy was bothering me ...for some reason,still bit today.. feel bloated , ick, ugh

[[pe...]]

ick, ugh, yuk.......those were my favorite words for a while!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Glad you are at least able to get some sleep at night!

 

Hoping for the best for you!!

 

Tish

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Hey percussion

 

ya got bit of sleep..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, but woke up 3 times.. still feel so awefully, sluggish, fatigued, its horrible...

[[ve...]]

That's great that you are on the mend MAA.  And roller coasters too?  You got me there.  When I first got vertigo after my c/t off valium almost two years ago, I talked to friends of friends who had gotten vertigo and one of them got it from riding amusement park rides in Florida.  Might not have been roller coasters though, could have been those spinning tea cups .  

 

I've never been on one of those loop coasters and don't think I'd try at this point, too chicken!  However, I did go river rafting last summer and our overly zealous and immature guide rode our raft up a big rock and when it slid back down, I fell out as I was in the back of the boat (he planned it that way I'm sure ).  It was in a quiet area but he did not know I was tapering down to 1.25mg valium and did not care to be thrown backwards from the boat into the water.  Amazing what we can survive though.

 

  Hope, I've been sleepy yesterday and today and am sure it's seasonal allergies along with some jet lag from my flight back a few days ago.   I wonder if you have any pollen around where you live that could be contributing to your fatigue?  Is it possible?  That being said, I was much more tired a month or two ago and feel its getting better at six months.  Also, you've got the paxil taper possibly impacting things so I'd just give it some more time.

 

Best,

 

V (no more)

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Hey vertigo

 

hmm.. actually i dont have allergies.. that cant be it.. ya, i guess just keep waiting to see if the fatigue lifts... or i will be going back to my doctor, to talk bout it again.... its goin strong! but yes, since dropped paxil fatigue did get worse, and i got worse.. tremors have settled down.. still there, but not as strong! cross my fingers this continues,til it goes away forever..and ever...but having some tendor stomach pain again, yesterday and today, like i had in my benzo taper... dont know if its the same thing or something else.. hard to say.. all these symptoms get confusing whats what to me?

 

soo.. well see what happens..........i read up paxil w/d takes usually up to at least 6 weeks... i will be at 4 weeks this saturday.. soo..

 

hope

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Hope,

 

I am glad to hear some of the inner viberations are starting to mellow out...   Sorry to hear the sleep is still not good...as you know I am struggling with that as well.....hang in there buddy...

 

TC

[[pa...]]

hi buddies!

It's been a few days since I've posted here (boy, how time flies!!). I see there's been lots of activity between members here since then. Im getting closer to being 3 months free this 16th! What an experience it's been! Lots of ups and downs, feelings, emotions, stabilization, etc... As I reflect back on the last few months, it's clear to me that my life has truly stabilized! It's just taking awhile to sink in. I resigned from a job that was causing me too much stress. I've had lots more free time to just rest and get things done around the house. I've spent lots more time with my family. I've gotten a part time job which I truly enjoy. My supervisor has promised me this can be full time for me once another person decides to retire. For now, I'm just trying to take things easy and enjoy the peace and solitude of being at home with kids in school.

My next challenge med-wise is to start a taper from remeron. I have been on this med since Aug 2006. This was prescribed to me after I'd been on klonopin for about 2 months and I was getting increasing bout of insomnia. my doctor at the time insisted that this was due to my 'anxiety' problem and had nothing to do with the klonopin. Amazing how doctors treat their patients this way... Anyway, remeron was the ONLY A/D my CNS could handle. The others I tried (prozac, celexa, trazadone) all caused me nervous distress.

I'm a little nervous about discontinuing the remeron. Although I've been on a ridiculously small dose of this (2mg daily since Dec 2008), the last time I tried to withdraw was when I'd developed 'nerve attacks' from what I now know to have been inter-dose tolerance w/d from the klonopin I'd been taking. At the time, I was taking about 4mg remeron (which is still a small amount) and when I tried to withdraw from that while still taking klonopin, my CNS went into a real shock!! It's probably the absolute sickest I'd ever felt in my life and try not to remeber the feelings I had. Anyway, hopefully the fact that I'm off benzos now will make this adjustment sooo much easier. I have a strong feeling that the remeron simply provided a balance for me when I was on the benzo med. If anyone has any thoughts on this, I'd love some feedback... I skipped my evening dose of remeron last night, and I'll see how I do today. I may have to slow taper from 2mg which may not be an easy thing to do since it's so small a dose... Any advise or suggestions would be much aprreciated.

take care, buddies! Looking forward to more of your replies. Hope everyone is doing well!!