Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

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Hope, you are so newly off benzos you are probably still having withdrawal effects from the clonazepam.  I'm six months off and I definitely know that the benzo is still in my body.  I was told by my support group counsellors when I started this taper I should allow myself up to two years to be completely benzo free.  Not something I wanted to hear, but as it is now coming up to eighteen months since I started my taper and I'm still feeling the effects, I now believe them.  Still I'm operating at about 80% now and I'll take that anyday.

 

Patience is what we must have.  Maybe you tempted fate a little by dropping the Paxil as well, who knows.  Of course that's your decision, but just give yourself time.  Be grateful for seven hours sleep, some here would love to have that much.  I still never have a complete night's sleep, I wake every night but still manage at least 6-7 hours - I'm very grateful for that.  I'd love to have eight hours straight but will have to wait for that too.

 

Just concerned about Unisom - I've heard it shouldn't be taken for prolonged periods.  Others may have more info.

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Hello all fellow ptbb's....Just dropping in as I haven't been around much lately, but wanted to spread the good news that things do get better....

 

I am 5 months free tomorrow, and out of the past 40 days or so only 4-5 days have been rough, I am operating at 80% or so plus.....I even went to the London Dungeons with my son at the weekend with no anxiety whatsoever and it was very hairy at times....

 

I still have healing to do, but really unless I am in a bad wave I forget all about this benzo crap....am text book Ashton in this regard, windows and waves, but mainly windows for the past 6 weeks....

 

I think of you all often, and pray for speedy healing for us all, take good care.

 

Mxxxxx

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Hi MAA, so glad to hear that you're doing so well!!! Congradulations! You deserve it!!

Ashton's manual became like my 'bible' as I began my taper. Her words of encouragement are permanently 'stamped' in my mind! Such good stuff!

Hi hope! I'm sorry to hear that your having a rough spot! It's good to hear that you were able to spend some time with your son, even if it was short...treasure these good moments!!

I still continue to take ridiculously low amounts of Remeron (2mg daily). I believe I was taking anywhere from 7.5m to 4 mg while I was on klonopin. I remember that when I took the higher amount and tried to drop it, the effects hit me real hard. I felt pretty wiped out as if I had no ability to feel good at all. it took me some time to taper off the Remeron. The only reason I went back on it was because my father died and the resulting stress I went through was too much for me... I have been over 2 months free of benzos now and I would really like to stop taking the Remeron. It seems like 2mg daily should be easy to drop from, but I'm just not sure. I think I'm affraid to mess things up right now because i'm still having w/d from the benzos. We'll see...

Hope, if you plan to take anything for sleep, I will tell you that melatonin really helps me. I take about .75mg 30 minutes before bedtime. I wouldn't recommend taking it every night, but would certainly recommend this over any sleep aid if sleep is really a problem. Let me know what you think, OK!

matteo, sorry to hear that you're having a difficult time also! How are you feeling today? let us know sometime...

take care every one! I'll check back later in the week!

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HI Panguelina

 

thanks... ya.. well i didnt take any sleep aid last night and my w/d symptoms werent revved up last night at bedtime, and fell asleep quite easily!! yahoo..... but wasnt solid sleep, woke up bout 3 times.... but got bout 7 hrs at least..................

 

my off balance issues seem to be creepn back a bit.. arrrgh... dont know if its the benzos , paxil or both, w/d... nuts.. anyways...

 

wishing everyone a good day! hope

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Hi Everyone,

 

I just had a couple of horrible days.  I think I know why.  I started tapering off lexapro (VERY slowly) at 13 days after valium withdrawal - with another small cut at 21 days.  It was a crazy thing to do, and I should know better.  I just felt so good for a while, and I figured the lexapro cuts were so small.  Lesson learned.  Wait longer before tapering an AD.  Someone on the forum told me she stopped an AD fairly early after her benzo withdrawal; and had big problems.  She went back on the AD and waited months.  Then when she cold turkeyed the AD, she had absolutely no problems at all.

 

Rumi

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Hi you all...

 

Days away from being 16 months out. I looked up my old calendar from last year where I recorded my day's rate (1-10, 10 best). For me, below 5 meant I couldn't leave my house I was too sick. Under 4, I couldn't leave my couch. In April 2009 I averaged 4.7 with 24 symptoms. This April 2010 I averaged 8.4 with 5 symptoms.

 

...Just thought I'd share, I know everyone needs a bit of positivity, and I think that's something positive!

 

Be well,

 

ginger

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Ginger,

 

Thank you so much.  That is just what I needed to hear.  It's great how you rated the days on the 1-10 scale.  Really makes for a good way to track progress.

 

I have had a terrible day - but yesterday was one of the better days I have had in a long time.

It's discouraging, to say the least.

 

The cog fog was back bad today and I have been soooo tired. 

 

It was great to hear of your progress....knowing that better days are ahead makes all of this much more bearable.

 

Thanks for the positivity!!

 

Tish

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Well, I am joining the post-benzo group since I just finished my taper three days ago.  I am feeling the effects and I am holding on. 

 

Ginger, thanks for your idea of rating the day.  That's a great idea. 

 

I have been having lots of anxiety, depression, nerve problems, head noise and ringing, headaches, chills, which of course I've had to some extent before my last dose.  It's just that now I know there's no relief in a pill and I have to tough it out.

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Hi everyone!

HangingInThere, congradulations!! let us know how your week goes and we will continue to encourage you!! That's why we're here, to help each other on our journey. Best wishes to you. Enjoy the benzo freedom!!!

Hi tish, I do get some cog fog and lethargy also. Mostly, I feel that this has to do with my work schedule rather than benzo w/d, but it's still no fun either way. On Monday nights, I work until 2:45am. If I were a late owl, that would be fine, except I'm used to getting up early! Plus, I have 2 kids that go to school in the morning. Once I'm up, I'm up, and there's very little chance, I'll sleep again. Grouchy Daddy! Hope your feeling better today!!

Rumi, I replied about this the other day, but, I still take 2mg of Remeron. One of these days I plan to quite this drug also but I don't feel comfortable doing it now. I would just assume that it's such a small dose and I wouldn't feel any affects, but I know before that when I took 4mg and tried to stop, within days I felt horrible. Eventually, I cut down to my present dose, and I've held there since. I'm no longer taking klonopin or valium anymore and it could be that the Remeron only benifited me in keeping my system in balance while I took those drugs. For now, I am unsure what it's doing for me except it's just another pill that I continue taking. We'll see...

Hope, how are your sleep issues? Feeling any better today? It sounded like you were having a rough time, and I was concerned about you. Let us know when you can...

Take care everyone!

pangelingua

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HangingInThere - congratulations on being benzo free.  I must have missed this one.  Welcome to the PBFWSG.  Now that you're not putting any more poison into your body you can only get better from here on in.  Welcome to the other side.

 

Something I've just figured out, so will share.  I never really noticed fatigue prior to the last month or so now that a lot of my symptoms are slowly disappearing.  Now I notice that I get really tired.  Could it be that with all the other withdrawal symptoms I was tired, but was feeling so disgusting I didn't notice the tiredness.  If fatigue is all I have to contend with most of the time now, I can cope.  This is a breeze compared to muscle spasms, sore eyes, heart palps, brain zaps, hellish nightmares, agoraphobia etc etc etc.

 

I also have a head cold at present and instead of feeling like my world is coming to an end (as I used to when I got a cold), I'm thinking, well I could feel like rubbish for a couple of days but then I'll start to feel better.  I'm not even rushing to the pharmacy to get some cold medication, just gutsing it out.  Guess the benzo withdrawal journey has put things into perspective!

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RIGHT ON HOPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See you don't need that crap to sleep. NO ONE DOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It makes the sleep worse after awhile and I wouldn't even call it sleep. Stinking pills. I am so glad to hear that. I can't explain it I just love hearing people make even the smallest bit of progress without the help of anything but their own spirit to do the right thing. Good for you HopeFTB10. SWEET

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LB....Sounds sooo familiar...your story about the fatigue.

Same for me.  A few months out, I had all this new-found

energy.  Then about 4 months out, the fatigue hit like a bomb.

 

I think it is our bodies and minds healing.  And what is better

for healing than rest. 

 

Always good to hear a similar story here on BB. 

Makes us know we are not in this alone.

 

Thanks!

Tish

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Hey ya'll...

 

I have had a pretty awful week, so it is REALLY good to hear from those of you who have hope to share!

 

The nerve burning feeling got so bad with me that I DID give in and take neurontin for 3 nights, which I now totally regret.  I did it because I wanted to sleep, but it only helped the sleep one of those nights.  Yesterday I woke up with a really bad sore throat, and I know it was from the neurontin.  Today I developed a fever, and the nerve burning was worse than ever.  NO MORE NEURONTIN for me.

 

I did not sleep at all last night...and so tonight I am breaking down and taking one of the few hydrocodone I have left from accident recovery days.  (I haven't done this in several months...I am just desperate to get some sleep...)

 

I am so afraid that this is where I am going to get stuck...that the nerve burning is never going to leave me.  This is the longest straight spell of it I have had.  It is like my body is on fire under my skin...and now with the fever it feels even worse.

 

So sorry to whine and complain :'(  I think, also, that the neurontin almost immediately makes me depressed when I take it.  I didn't take any last night, so hopefully it will be out of my system tomorrow, and with it the depression.

 

The big "what if" for me is..."what if this (the nerve burning) never goes away?"  I really do wonder how I would handle that. 

 

Love and gratitude to all of you,

 

Leena                                          

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Hi Leena 

 

I am glad you posted, I have been wondering how you were doing....I am sorry to hear that you have hit another bad wave of symptoms, I am repeatedly reminded by another benzo friend that sees a drug counsellor that things often intensify between months 3-6 so I guess that is where you are now and things will pass and get better soon...

 

If it is any consolation (misery likes company right ) I have hit another wave the past 3 days too with skin burning etc, it is crappy but keep in mind that it will pass again, and after this wave you will probably feel better than ever before....

 

I am thinking of you, and don't forget to come here and get support from your bb's....

 

Mxxxx

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Hi Leena,

 

I have taken trazadone for sleep...it helps...and a little goes a long way.  25-50 mg is a good place to start.

If you can get some sleep, maybe the burning will subside a little.

 

I have finally decided to give this process a year before I decide that the symptoms are never going to end.

You were on meds for a while and your body is going to need time to heal.  I know that doesn't sound good right now,

but please try to think that the bad moments are when your body is healing.  This stuff does crazy things to our brains,

and our brains are just gonna need time to get back to normal.

 

So sorry for all your pain.  It is soooo miserable, I know. 

 

We are here for you!!!

 

Tish

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At 3-6 months things flare up AGAIN? Does this apply just to those who CT? How many people has this happened to? I'll be off 2 months next week and I've been slowly getting better each day. I'd hate to think its going to get worse again. I mean, I was only on this stuff as needed for 3.5 months!!

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Hi Cupcake, this wasn't meant to scare and worry anyone, sorry if it did, I was just trying to make Leena feel  better...

 

I have been told that it CAN intensify for some people at this stage and basically not to be scared if this DOES happen to you at the 3-6 months stage, it doesn't mean you will suffer harder or longer than anyone else....

 

As we all know this journey is unique for us all, and we can't really compare from one to the other how this will go for us....

 

Sorry again, I was trying to support Leena...my intentions were well meant...

 

 

Mxxx

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At 3-6 months things flare up AGAIN? Does this apply just to those who CT? How many people has this happened to? I'll be off 2 months next week and I've been slowly getting better each day

Cupcake, don't stress.  Withdrawal takes a different course for everyone, so don't hang around waiting for a return of symptoms.  If you're getting better slowly, celebrate that and don't be fearful.  There are many here who've walked away without any rev up of symptoms and I'm sure that'll be you.

 

If you do have a return of symptoms, you know the symptoms will only be temporary.  If you're no longer putting any more of the poison into your body, there is only one way forward from here - total healing.

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Hi MAA and Tish...Thanks ever so much for your encouragement.  And Cupcake...just so that you know...I haven't yet hit that point where things have gotten consistently better.  I have had some windows, yes.  But I don't consider this a setback from some healing that had been done.  It is just that this particular "most hated symptom" has hung around longer than it usually does.  And, the fact that I broke down and took neurontin for 3 nights probably made yesterday as bad as it was. 

 

SO...with that said...today was not as bad as the others have been.  I did take some norco last night...and while it helped me kind of "doze" through the pain, it also made me itch like crazy.  So I traded one thing for another...but I actually think it was worth it.  I think I got 2 hours of sleep.  The previous night (and many others) I didn't get any.

 

I think the lack of sleep makes all symptoms hurt worse.  I really do believe this.  Tish...I may check into the trazodone.  I think I may have mentioned to you on another thread that I had been presribed this MANY years ago...and NOTHING has ever made me as groggy as that medicine.  But it affected me during the daytime as well as at night

 

I just can never say enough how much I appreciate this forum and all of the buddies who are so quick to render aid to those in need!

 

:smitten:Leena

 

 

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Just found this thread - Cool !

 

Some things I'm finding post benzo - Get tired earlier in the evening, still getting internal vibrating & anxiety, still cannot drink coffee/red wine/beer, sometimes feel tired/anxieties when driving long distance. I do feel better than last month, so I know I'm healing. Just seems like such a slow process to get back to normal.

 

George

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At 3-6 months things flare up AGAIN? Does this apply just to those who CT? How many people has this happened to? I'll be off 2 months next week and I've been slowly getting better each day. I'd hate to think its going to get worse again. I mean, I was only on this stuff as needed for 3.5 months!!

 

Cupcake,

 

No that is not the "norm", but it does happen to a few people.  I wouldn't stress about it, if you are starting to feel better each day, by the time you hit the 3 to 6 months mark you may be totally symptom free.   I have seen many, many people feel "good" at the six month mark or earlier.  You also have to take into consideration the time you spent on the med, it was not very long....so the odds are in your favor there too.   You also tapered....so you covered all the bases you could control.....   There have been people on here that have felt better a couple weeks or a few weeks after their last dose..it is all invidual...but as I said..you have several factors working in your favor...

 

TC

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Hi all

 

well at 10 weeks exactly benzo free today...still dealing with

 

-sleep patterns all over the place... go few days good, then few really bad nights!

-inner tremors, vibrations, pins and needles, weird muscle twitches througout body sometimes, like i have a snake going thru my body, something weird like that..

-light sensitivity still!

-feel wiped out, lethargic daily, cant get past 1pm, without feeln like i need to pass out and sleep.

-breathlessness, on and off....

 

FATIGUE as we all know is my worst enemy now.. and going to look into my thyroid in more detail as per another buddy here says, TSH is not the whole picture.. need a test called. free T4 and free, T3.. so gota get to the doctor.. get this checked out.. because my TSh keeps coming back okay, or well i dont get a call that theres a problem..

 

hope

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Morning All

 

Just dropping in to add some words of encouragement, my wave passed last night, and this wave was shorter than the last, only 3 or 4 days and less intense, I now have real hope and true belief that even when and if a wave comes again it will soon leave.

 

My good days are really really good now and the bad ones are less and less. Far

more good.

 

Have a great weekend all, it is bank holiday in the uk so 3 days off for everyone and the damn rain has arrived just in time!!!

 

Mxxx

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Hi, everyone.

 

Today is day six since my last dose of Klonopin and my stomach is so tight.  The nerves in my stomach hurt so bad, I have this intense need to cry at the same time (depression is getting bad).  I have had a lot of similar symptoms in the past six months, but they would subside in the afternoon.  Now, they hang around for most of the day.  I feel like my symptoms are increasing since I have stopped taking the Klonopin.  I know it's early in the game, but the physical symptoms really wear me down psychologically.  I have had a problem with my stomach emptying in the morning, every morning due to the spasms in my stomach for the last six months and I lost about 20 pounds.  I am so thin now, and I am concerned about losing more weight being off the Klonopin. 

 

Pangelingua and LB, thanks for the support and encouragement! 

 

Cupcake, I didn't think I was on Klonopin that long either, and I'm hoping that counts for something.  The fact that you're doing so well is an encouragement to me, as well as your faith. 

 

HangingInThere

 

[[cu...]]

Thanks everyone I do feel better about all that now. I have a head cold and was up most of the night and so now I feel so "off" but at least all I think about now is this dumb cold instead of my last little bits of disassociation  Are head colds known for ramping up sx's? My doc says the full moon is probably why I can't sleep, she says it happens to sensitive individuals.