Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[pa...]]

Hi everyone!!

Sorry to hear about your nightmares Vertigo. I have had these occassionally and they can be quite distressing!! I had one a while back about being trapped in a car with a vicious cat!!! Sort of a Kujo-like dream. After I got jolted awake from this, I didn't get much sleep. This dream was especially distressing for me, as I LOVE pets!! :'( I'll be only 2 months off benzos on the 16th... I also take small amounts of Melatonin (.75mg), so, I don't know how much the Melatonin may be a factor in this... Fortunatley, it's infrequent for me. Hope you're feel well, today!!

Leena and INB: I know the burning pain you experience, and I sympathize with your situations!!! This is another one of those s/xs that I get occasionally. I had requested a prescription from my doctor for Neurontin just in case my taper got too complicated. I never did take this med though. I think the bottle is still in my medicine cabinet, and I would say that it was high time that I discarded it.

I'm feeling pretty good today, other than tired. I work part-time right now. On Mondays, I have to work late and I don't end up getting to bed until 3:00am. I don't seem capable of sleeping in, so I just have to go without good sleep on these nights. It's amazing how exhausted I end up feeling by the end of the day from just one night of bad sleep!! I have delt with much worse in the past, so I'll count my blessings. Hope everyone has a great day,

pangelingua

[[Re...]]

Hey ginger,

 

    You're correct!  That is a huge difference.  9.5 is quite a leap.  At any rate, I hope that we all get to 100% sooner rather than later.

[[...]]

Thanks, pangelingua, for sharing fact you get burning skin also. Just knowing that there are other people who have this makes me feel more confident that it's the benzo wd. I had thought I was the only one. It seemed at the first time I got it, that it was from taking clonodine.

 

The next thing I am going to have checked is gall bladder. I read that it can cause burning in chest...thoguh they might be talking about gerd. The feeling I have is not deep in chest under breastbone, but instead on surface of chest.

 

I am at wit's end about this. Makes life very uncomfortable.

 

Hope everyone else doing well. We are all in this together.

 

INB

[[pa...]]

Your welcome INB. I can remember that the burning pain was very distressing for me at times. Sometimes, it felt like my whole head and body was on fire!! Not nice! if you have time,feel free to check out my blog-- "Pangelingua's story". I don't have the link in my sig line yet. I'm waiting for instructions on how to do that. If anything, it may give you some hope and encouragement... It's in 5 parts and is quite a bit to skim through... You may want to start with part 5, this one has a pretty good ending!!

You descision to get this symptom checked out is a good move even if it's just benzo related. Keep us posted...

Thank you for the kind words.

take care,

pangelingua

[[Re...]]

    INB, I don't have the burning in the surface of my chest, but I had the burning for months in my glutes/hamstrings and right hip.  I get the burning periodically in my knees, heels of my feet and fingers.  I find that an icepack is very helpful.  If it's withdrawal, it will surely pass.

 

    Vertio, nightmares for me started at the 3-4 month marks.  I seemed to have one recurring dream...being chased in a graveyard by zombies.  Maybe it's because I am a horror/scifi movie fan.  At any rate, I was sooo glad to experience dreams again that the nightmares did not bother.

Ashton mentions dreams coming back in full force, so this is normal.  The nightmares eventually stopped around the end of the 5th month toward the beginning of month #6.  Now I'm dreaming and sleeping normal

 

    Pang, most of my OTC was melatonin, and yes, melatonin does cause vivid dreams and nightmares.  I used 1.5-3.0mg almost every night (higher dosage left me too out of it the next day).  

 

    At 8 months out, little bothers me much...symptoms that are still lingering are more so annoying more than anthing.  We will get there...by God's grace we all will get to complete healing...stay the course!

 

   

[[Ma...]]

Verti, I've had bad dreams on and off for the entirety of my post-benzo w/d (8 months). It is a known w/d symptom. Sounds like you're probably processing all the work/contractor bidding, etc. you're juggling for your dad. My "five cent Lucy psychiatrist" says that drowning might mean you're a little overwhelmed. Also, not sleeping in my own bed can really give me some weird dreams.

 

 

Retire, I've had those zombie dreams myself! What's up with that?!!!! I'll look for you in the cemetery next time I do; we'll bash 'em and burn 'em together, okay? But, come to think of it, I don't know how I'll recognize you . . . .should I just look for a giant bok choy cabbage running around?

 

 

Matteo

 

[[...]]

Thanks, pangelingua and Retire for your reassurance. Just am tired of waiting for this to go away. Let's keep each other posted.

 

Thanks,

 

INB

[[pe...]]

Hi all,

 

Yes, tired of all of this.

 

Have had a terrible day at 4 plus months off.

Sure didn't think it would be like this.

Feel completely out of it - derealization big time - and soooo tired.

And even a little sick.

 

Really had no idea that benzos would lead to this and I am really feeling angry at the doc who introduced them to me.

I know that doesn't do any good, but just had to say that.

 

Can hardly wait until 6 months......but don't want to get my hopes up there, either.

 

Thanks for listening.

 

Perc

(but not feeling to perky today)

 

 

[[je...]]

today is 60 benzo free of klonopin ,but i am somewhat better ,but i get these pains,tightness,heaviness,out of the blue in stomach,abodomials,chest in left breast.Weird stuff,don't know ifs is normal but is driven me nuts. the headache is there too ....been off work for going on three weeks,have to go to work sunday march 18 ,hope this is the right thing to do or should i wait it out a little longer????the stress of work might put me over the edge?guess i have to try???this stomach,abdominal just keeps locking up,tight,pressure,ache.Plus this heaviness,tightness,pressure in left breast comes out of the blue .The pain is unreal but i keep fighting and pay no mind to it ,in hopes that it is not serious,maybe......Its like my insides are in so messed up.......hard to explain ...hope this gos away sooon .......heaviness,sudden tightness,pain,in stomach ,chest,i am going nuts............................................one minute i am fine than all hell is unleashed........why......why........now i know why people say there going MAD.......i will stop ......THANK for the support yall......JEFF32 :

[[ho...]]

hi all

 

anyone have problems w breathing, after being benzo free!!!!!!!!!!!?? breathlessness............i had it bad in my taper, and i know this can be part of w/d....and also from withdrawing from paxil, which ive done recently..

 

looking for anyone else having this symptom, looking for some re-assurance w others going thru same :'( i dont like it.. and still at times just walking up my stairs my heart rate speeds up, which i had during my taper too..

 

seriously, hows does these meds do this?? its horrible and scary

[[le...]]

Hello All....I have been wanting to post all day, but have been buried in taxes, insurance papers that had to be filled out by 5:00 today, and now I have to go vote in a run-off election...and then I have a ladies night out.  I have some good to report...that will hopefully be encouraging.  Will be back tonight!

 

~Leena  INB  Will give you more info, too...when I get back

[[le...]]

Ok...my dear buddies,

 

This morning when I woke up, I knew it was going to be a different kind of day.  (Yesterday, in the evening, I stood in the kitchen crying in front of my husband...and I hate to cry in front of anyone... because the burning in my nerves was just absolutely un-doing me.)

 

And then...in spite of HOW BAD I felt last night, I actually had the best sleep that I have had in ??? days!  I have gotten used to very little sleep.  A few nights ago, I had to relinquish the one thing I had found which seemed to guarantee at least a little sleep each night...and that was 5 HTP.  After a couple of weeks on it, I finally decided that it was responsible for a surge in headaches that I had been having.  SO...to crawl onto my lonely mattress feeling like there was probably no way that I would be able to sleep because of the burning deep in my skin (and yes INB, this was concentrated in my chest) and the even deeper soreness in my shoulders...it was absolutely astonishing to me when I WOKE UP almost 5 hours after I laid down, and realized that I didn't even remember if I had to lay in bed long hoping for sleep to come.

 

I got up around 5:00 for just a short time...and then went back to bed and dozed on and off until 9:00.  And when I got up, I realized the burning wasn't there and even my knee felt better.  I am sure some of you wonder, just like I do, when a moment like this comes...if it was because of something I did different....or something I didn't do....or?  I know that the prayers of my buddies help in ways that I don't even perceive.  I was just so, so thankful to have that relief...to see that it could come after such a bad day before.  But even more, it feels like something that guarantees that this will eventually be "the norm".  I wouldn't dare say I am there yet.  But this is a day of great hope for me.

 

How do I feel now, just before midnight?  Well, I can look back on a day where I had to get a lot done because of deadlines...and I was able to do it.  And then after all the paperwork I had to do, I actually had the energy to vacuum (I can't tell you how bad our house has gotten).  To top things off, the ladies from our church were meeting for a dinner out...and usually by evening I am just all used up.  I was able to go and actually enjoy myself and even to feel more "me" than I have in a while.

 

I feel a little burning right now, in my upper torso.  But I am not as scared as I would normally be because of how easily I fell asleep last night while feeling much worse.  And (I am almost afraid to say this) it looks like the swelling in my knee might be going down.  I am not going to let myself get too excited...but, I am going to let myself be hopeful.

 

After several days of being very worried (not just because of the withdrawal pains but also because of the realization that I might be becoming insulin resistant during the process) it has been such a HUGE blessing to have just ONE day like this.  I am so, so grateful. 

 

Love and gratitude to all of you,

Leena

 

(INB...I will be back in touch with you tomorrow...)

[[af...]]

INB,

 

I too suffer from nerve and skin burning, which in my case is localized in the extremeties, especially the feet. This symptom started about 2 months after stopping klon, and is my major complaint today 5 months off. The burning can be nasty sometimes, accompanied by deeper nerve pain. Yet i have noticed tiny improvement lately, enough for me to post about it in this thread a few weeks ago. Like u, i am not sure how to deal with this. All my medical tests are negative. I do not take any supplements (cannot tolerate them), except the occasional Tylenol. I also stopped acupuncture and massage cos they induced flareups. Now i want to try Craniosacral therapy, not for its "healing power", but for its unusual stretching technique.

 

Burning seems to be a stubborn w/d symptom for many benzo victims, but it does seem to dissipate over time, based on posts here and on other forums. I suppose leena is correct in pointing to neurontin as a possible cause for ur continued chest burning, so u may want to consider looking into that.

 

Kev

[[...]]

Seems that my burn comes on after eating. Chest, neck and face gets warm and sweaty, but not red.

 

Thanks for commenting on this condition, Leena, and After. We have just got to figure this out.

 

INB

[[st...]]

Hopeforthebest,

 

I am still experiencing breathing problems but it has gotten somewhat better these last few months. 

 

Patty  xo

[[ho...]]

Hey stoney..

 

thanks for the reply.. , how long u been off now?? i will have to check your signature.............its not fun.. at all!!!

 

hope

[[Re...]]

Matteo,

 

    If you see a huge head of romaine lettuce coming toward you in the graveyard with arms stretch open wide, I'm just coming to give you a great big hug; not to eat you!  Matteo, I keep asking for it...the other night I was watching a movie called "Zombie Land;" Whew...I'm so glad that when I wake up from those dreams that they are just that...dreams.  At least I can say in my dreams that the zombies have yet to catch me; those benzos sure gave me "road runner" legs...in my dreams that is.  Jokes aside, I sleep like a baby most nights now, and my dreams are very pleasant and fulfilling. 

[[Ma...]]

Thanks, Retire! But it'll have to be a quick hug, we'll have zombies to kill!

 

Sorry I mistook you for bok choy, I now know you're actually romaine . . . .no offense, I hope.

 

Since you like zombies and such, have you seen "Evil Dead?" Even though it's silly and stupid in some parts, it's very creepy and entertaining . . . a cult classic (early Sam Raimi) !

 

When I used to work in film, I worked for a few days on the WORST horror movie of all time: "Beware: Children at Play!"

I was an electrician for some of the interior shots that weren't violent, but I just found the trailer on youtube. Oh man, it's sooooo offensively bad.

I had no idea how tasteless and  . . . . . well, just WRONG that movie was! I also never got paid for my work . . . got stiffed.

 

Oh well, have to go mail my taxes (speaking of getting stiffed).

 

 

Matteo  :smitten:

[[mi...]]

Nearly five months off and still feel like sh*t. Hoping I will be completely over this within eighteen months, but I have my doubts. My brain is still mush and the nerve pain is unbearable at times. I've been suffering with extreme depression lately, like I have never experienced before. I sometimes wake up feeling groggy and everything else is fine, then the symptoms start to kick in, so I start wondering if many of my symptoms are purely anxiety ... how screwed up the mind becomes during w/d ...

[[an...]]

Tomorrow marks 6 months off for me and I have had no windows at all.  Last one I had was 1-1/2 years ago for about 4 hours.  Still severely depressed, moderate to severe anxiety, very fatigued and insomnia, although the insomnia has eased up a bit since coming off.  I used to get 1 - 2 hours sleep a night; now I get about 5, but still need more.  Amazing how you can get used to functioning on less sleep when you have to.

 

Right now I'm going through major back and neck pain and not sure why.  Haven't done anything differently and don't know if I can blame it on the benzo or what.  I was in protracted w/d from severeal ADs whenever I started tapering the Klonopin, so my CNS has been severely injured and it stands to reason it could take a few years to heal.  Not looking forward to that - it's been so long already!

 

I wish everyone here some huge windows and complete healing and the perseverance to get to the finish line!

 

Jan

[[pe...]]

It's the cog fog and derealization that is killing me.

Anyone else have this really bad after 4-5 months off?

 

Can't wait til the end of this nightmare.

 

Hang in there everyone.

This, too, shall pass.

 

Tish

[[cu...]]

I'm in my very last bit of a bout of fog and light dr that has lasted about 2 weeks. It came and went right after my taper but only lasted about 2-3 days. I even had it before I started tapering and it stopped when I increased my dose of Ativan so I was probably in tolerance w/d and didn't know it. I've read that dr are marked in Klonopin users, but it goes away so don't fret! Keeping busy has helped me greatly.

[[pe...]]

Thanks, cupcake.

 

Looks like you weren't on benzos for long - you are so lucky that you wised up before you got in really deep!

 

Glad to know that it does go away.

 

I sometimes feel like I have permanent brain damage and I'm going to live in this fog FOREVER!!!!!

That would be dreadful!!!!!!

 

Tish

[[le...]]

Hi Tish, Jan, INB, and All,

 

Tish, just curious....do you think the trazodone could be contributing to the "cog fog"?  I remember many years ago that I took some of that when I was depressed, and there has never been anything that made me feel any more drowsy and "out of it".  I couldn't stay on it.  Of course, we are all so different...and you may have already considered this possibility.  But just thought I would mention it.

 

Jan...I am 5 months off, and I still have back and neck and shoulder pain on and off.  Actually, the shoulder pain is more on than off...and it bothers me mostly at night when I am trying to get comfortable on my pillow.  I am like you, HOPING that it is withdrawal related and that it will go away.  I know that it is getting better because I do not spend every single night going through about 5 pillows to see which one I can feel most comfortable upon.

 

INB...Please forgive me that I haven't gotten back with you about the nerve burning and what role neurontin might play.  I had 2 days where I was relatively free of the burning...and then right before bed it hit big time last night.  It lasted all night, and then went away around 7 this morning, and so far hasn't come back.  I had not thought about it being caused by eating (or something I ate) but I am trying now to watch to see.  The good thing, with me, is that it isn't lasting as long when it comes.  I don't think I have had a full 24 hour period where it has stayed with me in quite some time.  Are you still taking serroquel?  I am pretty surprised that you can take the amount of neurontin you are on and not be really drowsy.  I think this shows how you can build up a tolerance relatively easily.  And again, I would be really surprised if this is not affecting the length of your recovery...I say that based upon how it works almost immediately for me (at 400 mg) on the nerve pain.  Please feel free to PM me with more details about your situation...

 

I think recovery sneaks up VERY slowly...almost so slowly that you do not think anything is happening.  But every now and then, I get a little revelation that , "hey, I am not suffering from_______ as bad as I used to."

 

One thing that is totally gone, that I suffered  in tolerance withdrawal as well as in early "actual" withdrawal, is pain in my jaw.  I made numerous trips to my dentist over the past few years, convinced that there was something wrong under one of my crowns in my back molars.  He told me that HE thought it was from clenching my teeth.  When that pain would come, it felt like a migraine in my jaw...it hurt so bad. But it has definitely left me. I really think it was klonopin related.

 

Another thing that seems to be gone is a very awful cough that I developed in tolerance withdrawal back last summer.  I just noticed a few days ago that I was not coughing anymore.

 

And one other thing that is so much better is the general pain in my shins and in my calves.  I used to lay in bed writhing (and that is an accurate word) because of the cramping and twisting feelings in my leg muscles.  Although I still have the issue with my knees (and hips) it isn't as painful as those other pains were.

 

The burning nerve pain is still the thing that is most likely to REALLY get me down.  And of course, this swollen knee...

 

Love to you all,

 

~Leen

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[pe...]]

Leen,

 

Thanks so much.  Great point about the trazadone.  But I am taking only 25 mg at night....none during the day.  Do you think it may have a "hangover" effect?

When you were taking it, did you take it during the day or at night.  How much were you taking?                                                                                                  Would love to know.....I'll get off that, too!  Some nights I don't take any...other nights, just the 25mg.

 

Would love any other input...thanks.

 

You are so right about recovery sneaking up very slowly.  We do have to look at how far we have come and remember how dreadful things were in the

beginning of all of this. 

 

We all need to take time to reflect on our PROGRESS....I know I do anyway!!

 

Tish