Post Benzo Freedom Withdrawal Support Group

[[ho...]]

Hi all

 

ugh..well for me..........ive tried drinkn 3 times while on benzos, not knowing the affects of it, or that it was dangerous.. one time was really bad, my bday in july..OOPs horrible... i was literally almost shaking for hours,... was terrible..

 

then ive been off 5 weeks, and ive drank twice.. first time was really really bad.. i had too many..yikes!! so stupid..had like 5 drinks.. then this past sat night, went out w my gf and had 2 drinks, thought i was soo good, only having 2 and thought i would be fine! NOPE.. wrong.. again next day revved up my symptoms for bout 6  hrs i had inner vibrations, buzzn under the skin.. again not fun! i cant believe how sensitive the gaba or CNS is whatever from prescription meds.. Its really sad i think, i cant even have 2 drinks. without having to suffer for it..

 

PLUS DEALING w this ongoing fatigue!!! its a bit better, but still there every single day!!! and the vibrations seem to flare up every couple days, then i good for 3/4 days.. then it comes back..sooo strange..

 

anyone some encouraging words please bout this fatigue!!!!!!!!!!!1???????

 

hope

[[ve...]]

Thanks for your post Hope.  I think it would impact me too if I had more than two drinks at this point.  Had two glasses of wine last Monday night and no problems thus far, even slept through the night which is not common when I usually have alcohol.  I think two is my limit for now.  Again, not recommending it but at five months off, I"m pleased to have a glass of wine or two without tailspinning back to oblivion.  I agree Ginger, better safe than sorry.  Six months sounds reasonable. Yet, I do believe its a very individual thing.  Each person can guage for themeselves and weigh the pros and cons along with the timeline and other factors.  I know of some folks who never stopped drinking through their taper too.  I was not one of them though I did have a glass of wine on a couple of occasions during the taper last year and if anything it relaxed me and helped me sleep.  Yet the next day was a little rough.  Such is life.

 

V (no more)

[[pa...]]

Hope,

I had a supervisor during a work-unit meeting that once told us: "wisdom comes from experience, and experience comes from.....

making mistakes!!"

Your CNS will be your guide for knowing what's best for you!

I recall that there was a time when I was younger when it would have been unthinkable for me to turn down an outing with friends that  involved social-drinking. As I've grown older, I have discovered so many joys and pleasures in life that don't involve having drinks!! So, don't feel bad about being sensitive to alcohol. I could never drink now the way I once did, but I also realize how much healthier and happier I am now that I don't.

About fatigue. Yes, I suffer from this too. There are times when I have bursts of energy and other times exhausted. I just have to pace myself, and when the tiredness comes on, I take a few moments to rest. I believe that our experiences with this med have put us in the position of really listening to what our bodies are trying to tell us.

take care,

pangelingua

[[...]]

Hello All....Just dropping in to say 'hi' and hoping that everyone is hanging in there...

 

I had a great weekend away with my husband and my kids had a great time at their grandparents...happy people all round... :)

 

I had no anxiety with the flight, and even when we nearly missed the flight due to bad traffic and couldn't stop to get a petrol refill either as we were so short of time and literally must have got to the airport car park on air, I didn't get stressed one  bit...what a difference a few weeks makes in the healing process....

 

I have had 2 weeks of almost constant window, after 9 very very tough weeks, I still have a ways to go, but this past fortnight has given me the belief again that this is going to all go away for us forever one day....

 

Thinking of you all and wishing you all big wide open windows today and all our tomorrows.

 

Mxxx

[[ho...]]

Hey V

 

Yes it wasnt really fun, the next day... but i feel i deserve to enjoy a drink after my last 15 months of crazzyness, health issues etc. and the benzo w/d............soo.. i totally agree, prob will bout 6 months maybe to be able to not have a reaction w drinkn maybe longer who knows.. But, im not going to know, with time eventually i guess my revved up w/d symptoms will fade... look forward to that day. To be able to go out to social gatherings and enjoy a few beverages, for example this sat if my brothers bday. We all going to a pub w a live band.. etc..and himself, friends, my family will be drinking.. So, once again, i will only have one or two drinks to cheers to my brothers bday! I didnt attend last year , as i was on the benzos, and anti/depressant..

 

Hey Pangelingua

 

I have learnt for sure by mistakes.. w the drinkn.. i will keep it to max 2 drinks for now once and a blue moon.. otherwise.. sooo not worth now for sure!

 

at what stage are you at? you tapering or benzo free? Yes.. it is tough, i do get asked out every  weekend to socialize with friends that are going out clubbn and drinkn... i use to myself up until bout 16 months ago... i can relate to that ..definately need to listen to our bodies at this time, that is definately what im learning! and this fatigue is the pits!!! depending on my sleep, depends how well.. i do w functioning for the day.

 

hope, ps this tremors, vibrations are still w me, please stop!!!

[[...]]

Coming up to six months and I hesitate to say it but I feel a definite improvement.  A window appears to be opening again so I'll grab it with both hands - just in time for the Easter weekend.  We're even planning a little socialising so looking forward to that.

 

I'm ever hopeful that with the six month mark just around the corner this is the beginning of the end of this journey - I live in hope. 

 

Still not tempted to try alcohol, just know that the benzo is still hovering in the background so not tempting fate just yet.  Maybe I never will, I've discovered that I can have just as much fun with friends without drinking.  It's sometimes funnier to be watching people around you having one or two too many drinks - and I don't get to have the hangover the next day.  I may just leave it that way for a very long time, but then again I never was a drinker anyway.

 

I wish you some relief from those tremors soon Hope.  Hang in there, they will disappear.  We all know they will - it's just the when we want to know.

[[pa...]]

Hi Hope,

I'm Benzo free now. My last dose was Feb 16. I'm just getting over a nasty stomach flu. Some of my w/d came back with this. I had stomach cramps, bloating and chills. Not nice.

Sorry to hear about the tremors. I still get these too.

[[le...]]

MAA!  How very wonderful to hear that you had a great trip...and that you did not experience the problems with withdrawal!  I would think an airplane trip would be one of the most stressful "normal" things for me to try to do right now...so to her that you did it, you enjoyed, and didn't stress (even when almost missing your flight) is SO encouraging! 

 

I am very glad that you were able to experience this...and am hoping with you that this is a window that will stay permanently open!

 

Love,

Leena

[[af...]]

I am nearing 5-month off benzos, but i am not sure where i am in this healing process. I am one of those whose w/d symptoms are mainly physical. This all started one month after stopping Klon, when all my symptoms morphed into nerve pain/tingling/burning. Since then I have been stuck in waves of serious pain, but also blessed to have some good windows.

 

I have noticed that my current nerve pain is a bit different. The burning i get in my extremities and face is now very similar to sunburn, whereas before it was deeper, not at the surface. Also the painful tingling in my palms and the soles of my feet is no longer the throbbing type, but rather the burning type. Pain in my knuckles still waxes and wanes. Fatigue is back again, accompanying every flareup.

 

I usually start out the day in better shape than when i end it. I tend to crash in exhaustion every night. I am not sure if this is healing or progression of paresthesia/ peripheral neuropathy/whatever. It's tough, but i'm hoping for more direction and clarity next month.

 

How r u all doing?

 

Kev

[[le...]]

Hi Kev,

 

I am about 4 1/2 months off, and am similar to you in that most of my withdrawal symptoms have been "physical".  I think that I can say that my tingling/burning is kind of like yours.  It used to feel deeper than it does now, would happen with much more regularity, and occur over a larger part of my body.  I think it is waning now more than it is waxing...and I am SO GLAD, as I hate that symptom more than any others.  I also have had waxing and waning symptoms with my sciatic nerve and piriformis muscle...as well as nerves in my upper back under my shoulder blades.  Those are better, too! 

 

It took me thinking back to the time in January, where I was going regularly to acupuncture, and remembering all the "dots" I would make on my shoulders, chest, and upper back with a sharpie...just so that I could make sure the doctor knew everywhere that I was hurting.  I know I wouldn't have as many dots today. Maybe we are healing from the inside outwards?

 

The interesting thing is that I used to read everyone else's posts about having fatigue...and would almost wish I could have some of that so that maybe I could sleep!  (In other words, I was not experiencing that symptom).  But NOW I am...and I no longer have that wish   I am having a very hard time getting motivated to do anything because I feel so....tired.  Maybe it is the months without adequate sleep that are catching up with me.

 

Listening to you talk about your nerve pain, it sounds to me like the differences you are experiencing may be good signs.  I certainly hope so!

 

Thanks for checking in!

 

:smitten:Leena

[[pa...]]

Hi everyone!

Just thought I'd check in. I am now 1 1/2 months Benzo free. I am going through a difficult time right now. I caught a bad stomach virus that's been going around. The pain has been just awful! :'( I was bed-ridden the other day, had terrible stomach pains/bloating, awful chills/weakness and had nothing to eat all day except a few sips of broth. I think the stress of this virus could have aggravated some w/d which I haven't felt in awhile. I felt better yesterday, but today, I am feeling worn down and a bit dizzy. I sure hope this virus passes soon! I sure hope everyone else is doing better than this!

Take care,

pangelingua

[[gi...]]

Hey Kev & Leena,

 

My extremity tingling and burning bones started to fade at about the 8 month mark. My burning face luckily faded by about month 6. Now I just have burning back and shoulders, and sometimes my arms still burn. I've gotten more fatigued over the last year, which is pretty disheartening, but I just push myself every day as much as I can. I lost all of my muscle mass during the early days and I think that has something to do with my pain & weakness. I'm considerably weaker than I was before my jump off K, and I worked out 5-6 days/week for 25 years up until a couple months ago when it became just too painful.

 

Right now I'm on crutches due to  knee surgery and it's very taxing, and painful, to use them for very long.  I'm taking oxycontin and hydrocodone and they've helped my burning back by about 50% but that's all. I missed a dose earlier today and was an hour late getting anything - WOW was I in a lot of pain for that hour! My arms & back hurt more than my knee!

 

In the first 6 months, whenever I'd get stressed I'd feel sparks shoot from between my shoulder blades,down my arms and out the palms of my hands. Then it went away. What's interesting is that it's back, after all this time! The slightest stress, the tiniest of anxiety, and I feel like Spiderman!

 

Oh, I'm 15 months out on Sunday.

 

take care,

ginger

[[...]]

Happy Easter to all my fellow BB's out there fighting the good fight!

 

I had a 16 day window that seems to have closed today, symptoms there but tolerable, 18 weeks free today, how I wish it was 18 months, hoping you all have a nice time whatever you are doing.  I am very proud of all of us for sticking at this journey.

 

Mxxxxx

[[pa...]]

Happy Easter to you also, MAA, and to everyone on the post. So glad to hear you had a nice flight MAA. Right now, I couldn't even consider getting on a plane. Just too much anxiety with heights, etc. Someday, I hope to travel this way again and actually enjoy the experience!!

Ginger, Kev, & Leena, I know what you mean about the nerve tingling. I just got sick last week, and I've been feeling an upshot of this pain the last few days. I really notice this being stress induced. It's as though my CNS has developed a new layer of symptoms when I've been overwhelmed by a stresser. It's really aggravating for me when the nerve-tingling comes. It affects the right side of my head, upper back and my hands. I've tried regular pain medicine such as ibuprofen, but this never seems to work. Mostly, it just seems to fade over time. I feel rather exhausted at times and I think this is due to my body overcoming the virus.

Anyway, take care all, and have a Happy Easter!!

[[ve...]]

Hey guys.  A third flight for me tomorrow out to California and fourth and fifth flights later in the month for the return.  Those non stop flights are often more expensive .  Not looking forward to the travel tomorrow, although a rare treat on business class .  Just me flying this time, my boy has to get back to school. The bags and getting them from point A to B can be a bit anxiety provoking though.  Last trip when we all travelled together, my wife's luggage was lost for a week but they eventually found it.  Don't care for the middle seat though, hopefully all my aisle seats are reserved and ready to go.    Hope everyone has/had a nice holiday or Spring break.  Glad you made your weekend away with hubby MAA.  Congrats on 15 months on Sunday Ginger . 1.5 months for you Pange?  Another week and it'll be five months for me .

 

Take care,

 

V (no more)

[[Ma...]]

Is this what you mean by "business class," Verti?

 

http://i998.photobucket.com/albums/af105/matteo1a/Matteo%20Images/-1.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

Matteo 

[[...]]

Well done on the travel vertigo.  I still have to get myself back on a plane, but it is a goal before the end of this year - hopefully sooner than later as we've got a lot of air points to use up.  I guess I'll be sitting in the aisle too for the first attempt - probably near the exit - not that it will do me any good at 30,000 feet!   Still to get from one end of New Zealand to the other by plane is no longer than 2 hours in a plane.  Getting overseas, now that's different - 24hours to Europe or 12hrs to the West Coast of the US.  Eeek, can't even imagine that yet.

 

Congrats to everyone for their benzo anniversaries.  My 6th month free coming up and it's starting to get better again. 

 

Hope everyone is having a good Easter.

[[le...]]

Matteo,  :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:  I love it!

 

Leena

 

 

[[mi...]]

a bit over 2 months free and lot of sx ,,almost worse than the tail end of the taper

 

very hopeful but very honest

[[...]]

Hey Mike,

 

Honesty and hope go hand in hand in this journey.  Honesty enables your buddies to guide you, encourage you and lend a hand when the road gets a bit rough. Hope is the pure fuel that you will need in order to pass this journey and declare your victory after defeating the  benzo beast.

I know- I have been through this hell, have made it through, and I am completely healed.

 

Sending tons of positive energy your way.

 

Shelly

[[ho...]]

hi all

 

i am 6 weeks off.. and hittn a rough patch now.. i think........heart palps back, the tremors/buzzn under the skin still come and goo... w some really bad days, that doesnt really allow me to sleep...

 

im tapering the rest of my paxil now of 5mg.. currently at 2mg.. almost off............my throat is sore, been having really dry mouth, dry and sore tongue, aweful feeln.......hard time swallowing...ugh... and felt like my throat was closing this morning, and almost couldnt catch my breath, and had sit up, and do some deep breathn, was horrible and very  very scary..

 

i soo tired. didnt get alot of sleep this weekend or last weekend.. i need sleep ,and want to get some energy, and get rid of this fatigue! please.....................

 

hope everyone got to somewhat enjoy your easter weekend, and spend time w family...

 

anyone else out there tapering and anti-depressant?? w troubles.............

[[ve...]]

Hi Hope.  Sorry the fatigue and sore throat are lingering. I've had quite a bit of fatigue after my taper.  Was pretty tired the first few months off but its getting better. I've done some travel the last week, several flights... it's a real challenge to the system with the luggage, security checks, crowds, so many people crunched into a small plane,rental cars, driving in an unfamiliar city... uggh.  Three flights down, two more to go!  I wonder if the sore throat could be related to allergies?  This time of year is usually a nuissance for many folks.  Anyway, good luck with the rest of your taper.

 

 Maybe you can catch up on some sleep during the day when the kids are at school.  Until recently, I needed an afternoon nap many days.  Our bodies sometimes really need the rest and to rejuvenate.  Not all have the time for it or can even fall asleep for an hour after lunch but I found it can be very helpful.

Best,

 

V (no more)

[[mi...]]

thanks shelly- i feel fantastic today!  amazing how this turns on a dime

[[ho...]]

Hey V

 

ya the fatigue is bad enough..never mind adding in a cold.wow!!! double doozy, and w/d .......................ugh...boys home today from school, easter monday.. so not naps for me til they return tommorrow, but usually i cant really nap.. I do lay down and try, ive only been able to fall asleep maybe an hour or two at most.. Depending, on my buzzn, tremors! that are lingering!!!

 

wow..yes, i couldnt imagine travelling now, no way! good for you! i gota get moving.. and get cell phone hooked up today, mine died on my sat night.. screen just went blank.. feel soo disconnected without it..

 

take care and thanks..zzzzzzzzzzzz

 

[[pa...]]

Hi Hope!

Sorry to hear about your cold. :'( I had a really bad stomache virus last week. Lots of pain and weakness. I think you and I are about the same length of time from the Benzos? I had an upshot of s/xs last week. Nerve tingling in the head, hands, legs etc. I think it was due to the stress from the virus, kids being home, singing engagements, etc. Just a lot of things going on... I'm looking forward to this week because the kids are back in school and I'm recovered from the flu. I hope you can get some rest today.

Vertigo, how was your trip? Did you get to visit with lots of family? I look forward to the day when I can fly again. There's a lot of agoraphobia and other issues that I'll have to work through before this happens. I do have a travel bug, only mine is kept on the ground for now. I sure miss the old days when we could go more places, and I had more energy...

Wishing everyone a happy Monday!! I'll check back tomorrow...