Should I fire these idiots and go to a w/d clinic or group

[[bl...]]

Hi I haven't posted in awhile as there wasn't much to say but now I have totally kicked effexor and ambien and the only monkey on my back is the xanax.  I have been on and off xanax since 1999 when the first pill pusher saw the opportunity to hook me.  YESTERDAY was the last straw.  I had been sick off and on for a couple months not sure viral or what but I kept putting off my appointment with the nurse because I didn't want to expose anyone just incase it was ebola or something bad. Finally I was out of old expired pill bottles and bit the bullet and went in, still sick.  Apologized for coming in as I still don't feel well and asked if she would like me to put on a mask as I am not sure if it is sinus or what.  She said it wasn't ebola so she wasn't worried.  She started round about insulting me after looking at how long it had been since I had been in.  She talked to the "therapist (she is useless as well just some wench taking a paycheck for doing nothing) and they called the doctor and told them a bunch of nonsense that was not true.

 

She was sitting there saying I looked unkempt, I look like I always do.  I dress in all black, I am goth and I used to color my hair but don't due to I went into anaphalctic (spelling, lol) shock and can't color my hair. I was taken totally off my thyroid meds so I have gained weight and feel sluggish.  I have also had bad inflammed eyes for eight weeks which the eye doctor has tried 6 different drops and two medrol dose packs (makes me moody) I also had major dental work for which I have been on percocets (also makes me sick and mooody/depressed).

 

So she decides I look dishelved and off my trolley because of MY EYES and how I look.  Are you kidding me?  She says to everyone "we have an emergency situation here hold all my calls"  this broad in my opinion should not be a nurse and if anyone in that room needed a psych eval and a xanax iv drip it would have been her.

 

The real thing that I think I have to legit gripe about is basing it on my eyes, she said I looked sick well duh lady my eyes have been tearing and burning for going on two months of course they look like yuck but she wouldn't even listen.  She and that useless therapist convinced the doctor and were hell bent on me going to the ER for an evaluation.  These people make me sick.

 

I said no way am I going to any ER and end up picking up another virus because she is flipping out.  They said they cannot/will not give me my xanax or any ambien until I go to ER or come back and see this doctor this friday morning.  AND get this, she said they can take me by force to a psych ward if the doctor on friday thinks I need to go.

 

What kind of railroaded nonsense is this?  So needless to say I came home yesterday a mess with nothing to help me sleep last night so I slept nada.  I am supposed to be there at 830am tommorrow.  This "nurse" couldn't give me xanax for two days until Friday for when I am supposed to see this "doctor" so I can sleep?

 

She then informs me the meds are obviously not working anyways so it doesn't matter.  I told her "being a nurse" do you realize even if the stuff stopped working years ago I am still buidling more and more receptors that need this garbage and if you don't give me any I am going to suffer a hellish nightmare of w/d?  I swear to you these people are total snake oil salesmen.

 

I called her boss and am waiting for a call.  Do I kiss butt and go back so I can secure the meds I need to w/d or do I just tell them to go pound sand and tell them what I am telling you right now, that they aren't fit to treat an earthworm?  I am so angry but kind of laughing at how nuts this woman was yesterday, emergency situation and saying I look nuts in a round about way.  Who is she?  Sorry for the rant but I need your help here guys I am done playing with these people.

 

Currently I have been fluctuating my xanax dose anywhere from .5 to 2mg per night at bed only.  This is roughly 15 years on?  I don't think it is really helping but the days I do the bare minimum amount I can't sleep and lay there all night with my mind not shutting down (just like last night, thanks nurse).

 

Should I just dump these people and go for a w/d clinic or maybe some outpatient support group.  I am not sure what types there are.  Any help would be appreciated.

[[Ch...]]

I would do whatever it took to get the refills you're going to need for a reasonable taper.  I was told once by someone in the ER that doctors do NOT want their patients to show up at the ER in acute withdrawal, so maybe you want to ask whoever calls you if that's how they want to proceed...politely...sincerely...you want to know what they want you to do should you go into acute withdrawal.

 

If I were in your situation yes, I would 'kiss butt' or whatever I had to do to get the refills I needed to finish tapering.  I would not cold turkey at .5 to 2mg of daily use. 

 

 

[[bl...]]

Also if I can secure the xanax and keep at .5mg and taper not too fast but not too slow either how do you deal with getting the brain to shutdown so you can sleep?  That and the depersonalization stuff has been my biggest problem and always made me go back on.  I am more adamant than ever to get off and stay off but just don't know what to do about this situation like I said I have a call into her boss but they will back the nurse and "therapist" why wouldn't they since they are all in on it together in this "business" of just keeping people drugged up beyond what the drug manufacturer said is the limit. 

[[bl...]]

I would do whatever it took to get the refills you're going to need for a reasonable taper.  I was told once by someone in the ER that doctors do NOT want their patients to show up at the ER in acute withdrawal, so maybe you want to ask whoever calls you if that's how they want to proceed...politely...sincerely...you want to know what they want you to do should you go into acute withdrawal.

 

If I were in your situation yes, I would 'kiss butt' or whatever I had to do to get the refills I needed to finish tapering.  I would not cold turkey at .5 to 2mg of daily use.

 

That is interesting, why do the "doctors" not want the victims I mean patients going into the ER in acute w/d.  Do you mean the pill pushers or the actual ER doctors?  What have you heard?  Also I had a question as to why I can't do the valium taper?  Meaning xanax calms me but valium makes me feel odd and jittery.  That is why I was put on xanax because I could not tolerate valium.

[[be...]]

WTF? I just don't know WHAT to say. You're in a bad situation and why would you see a nurse instead of seeing a doctor every time? I just don't get that at all.. She sounds like a real peach.  If it were me, I would try and get many refills and after that try and find another doctor just to give you scripts and you can taper with the help of BB and Ashton. A support group sounds great but where do you find one? By becoming a drunk and joining AA?  fwiw, show her your bottles of eye drops and ask her if she wants some. And please, a detox center would be ill advised, IMO. I've been to two so I know. Oh boy, do I know! Bets

[[ru...]]

I would beat them to the punch.  If you willingly check yourself into a detox/psych ward, then you can leave when you want. With my experiences in these situations,  nurses and doctors do not like "addicts/drunks".  They have no sympathy. Is there another hospital in your community?  I have found through my experiences that I had to find the right ER to tend to my needs. They aren't all dumb, I'm sure you can find the right doctor.  I have gone as far to check into the ER while in alcohol withdrawal and demanded a two weeks dosage of Ativan - because I understand my body and knew what would happen if I went into withdrawal.

 

With her telling you that the doctor will throw you into the Psych ward because he can - well, she's right.  That's why I say go in willingly, but only as a last resort.

 

If I were you, I would just visit another doctor - I wouldn't go back to that appointment because she seems hell bent on sending you to the psych ward.

 

I wish I could just give you some of my meds to get through. I understand your frustration.  Everything will work out - just don't go back to that appointment. .

[[bl...]]

WTF? I just don't know WHAT to say. You're in a bad situation and why would you see a nurse instead of seeing a doctor every time? I just don't get that at all.. She sounds like a real peach.  If it were me, I would try and get many refills and after that try and find another doctor just to give you scripts and you can taper with the help of BB and Ashton. A support group sounds great but where do you find one? By becoming a drunk and joining AA?  fwiw, show her your bottles of eye drops and ask her if she wants some. And please, a detox center would be ill advised, IMO. I've been to two so I know. Oh boy, do I know! Bets

 

 

You see the doctor twice a year and inbetween you see the nurse for refills.  They have one doctor now due to budget cuts and too many patients hooked.  Nice little scam if you ask me.  All the mental health places around here have the same set up. What do they do to you at the detox?  I believe you since you have been to two but what I am going through now is hell too.  I am sitting here crying and laughing at this and how absurd it is.  I just got mad and called the nurse and said I didn't sleep a wink last night thanks to no meds and informed her they must work still somehow because my brain would not shut down.  She said it still wouldn't help if it was ebola, what a "peach" indeed.  She is still mocking me.  I didn't go in out of human kindness and not wanting to spread it to her and others in the office and then she treats me like that?  I have lost hope for humanity other than this board to be honest.  It seems like you almost have to turn into a cruel mean vicious person or you get stepped on and made a victim if you are kind.  What a twisted world indeed. 

[[bl...]]

I would beat them to the punch.  If you willingly check yourself into a detox/psych ward, then you can leave when you want. With my experiences in these situations,  nurses and doctors do not like "addicts/drunks".  They have no sympathy. Is there another hospital in your community?  I have found through my experiences that I had to find the right ER to tend to my needs. They aren't all dumb, I'm sure you can find the right doctor.  I have gone as far to check into the ER while in alcohol withdrawal and demanded a two weeks dosage of Ativan - because I understand my body and knew what would happen if I went into withdrawal.

 

With her telling you that the doctor will throw you into the Psych ward because he can - well, she's right.  That's why I say go in willingly, but only as a last resort.

 

If I were you, I would just visit another doctor - I wouldn't go back to that appointment because she seems hell bent on sending you to the psych ward.

 

I wish I could just give you some of my meds to get through. I understand your frustration.  Everything will work out - just don't go back to that appointment. .

 

I don't trust her, I just called her like I said above and she said she would advise I keep my appointment so the doctor can evaluate me and get me back on the meds and I will be good for another 90 days.  Hmmmm.  And yes she still was acting like a superior human being than I.   

[[ru...]]

Also, I would go o the ER - like she said.  I'm not on her side, but in my experiences,  going to the ER and being completely honest with my doctor has always worked for me. You just have to be super agressive.  I've gone as far to skip from ER to ER to get what I needed to come off of alcohol. 

 

I have also gone as far to say: "I'm in effing withdrawal.  I don't have the money or time to take off to make myself well.  I'm going to need you to prescribe me a benzo to get through this."  I've always had sucess with that.  Just be humble and focused when you explain it to your doctor.  I would be completely honest about how you are currently tapering off this garbage (I would even use the word, "garbage") and that's it's just not safe to stop suddenly. 

 

They know.  Just be humble.

 

[[ru...]]

If you continue to be passive with the nurse, they will definitely commit you.

 

Just play the game.

[[bl...]]

Also, I would go o the ER - like she said.  I'm not on her side, but in my experiences,  going to the ER and being completely honest with my doctor has always worked for me. You just have to be super agressive.  I've gone as far to skip from ER to ER to get what I needed to come off of alcohol. 

 

I have also gone as far to say: "I'm in effing withdrawal.  I don't have the money or time to take off to make myself well.  I'm going to need you to prescribe me a benzo to get through this."  I've always had sucess with that.  Just be humble and focused when you explain it to your doctor.  I would be completely honest about how you are currently tapering off this garbage (I would even use the word, "garbage") and that's it's just not safe to stop suddenly. 

 

They know.  Just be humble.

 

 

After trying to taper off xanax many times and failing could you possibly have an answer to the question I posted above about why I can tolerate xanax but valium makes me feel awful and jittery.  That is what I was originally given but i couldn't tolerate so they gave me xanax instead, the rest is history.    Is it possible to taper from xanax or am I gonna hit a bad rough patch no matter what at the end.  Also how do you get the brain to stop spinning and thinking shut up and just go to sleep already that is my tough one when I get so close to the end and then I can't take the no sleep and give in and dose up.  I want off I want this monkey off my back forever and I want rid of these doctors and nurses.

[[bl...]]

If you continue to be passive with the nurse, they will definitely commit you.

 

Just play the game.

 

 

What do you mean passive what am I doing that is passive?  Why on Earth would she be hellbent on committing me just because she is a whacko on a power trip?  She knows by talking to me I am on to her.  What game do you mean and how do I play it?  What should I do IF I do go to the appointment tommorrow or should I not go and let it ride until my next appointment with this doctor which is in three weeks?

[[Ch...]]

Also if I can secure the xanax and keep at .5mg and taper not too fast but not too slow either how do you deal with getting the brain to shutdown so you can sleep?  That and the depersonalization stuff has been my biggest problem and always made me go back on.  I am more adamant than ever to get off and stay off but just don't know what to do about this situation like I said I have a call into her boss but they will back the nurse and "therapist" why wouldn't they since they are all in on it together in this "business" of just keeping people drugged up beyond what the drug manufacturer said is the limit.

 

Insomnia was a big issue at the time, though sleep does return eventually on its own.  It is an issue for nearly anyone coming off benzodiazepines.  Our bodies are used to being artificially tranquilized and it takes time for the body functions to restore themselves...the GABA receptors have lost the ability to use GABA to naturally calm the CNS.  Not a short nor an easy process and no way through it except to do it.

[[Ch...]]

 

After trying to taper off xanax many times and failing could you possibly have an answer to the question I posted above about why I can tolerate xanax but valium makes me feel awful and jittery.  That is what I was originally given but i couldn't tolerate so they gave me xanax instead, the rest is history.  Is it possible to taper from xanax or am I gonna hit a bad rough patch no matter what at the end. Also how do you get the brain to stop spinning and thinking shut up and just go to sleep already that is my tough one when I get so close to the end and then I can't take the no sleep and give in and dose up.  I want off I want this monkey off my back forever and I want rid of these doctors and nurses.

 

I realize you're asking the Valium tolerance question of another poster, but drugs, even from the same class, can affect people differently.  When they do the opposite of what they're supposed to do it's called 'paradoxical'.  So crossing to Valium wouldn't be a good move.

 

You definitely can dry cut all the way down with Xanax.  I did it and so have a lot of others.  If you stick with small cuts and pay attention to your body's reaction, you can do it.  If I hadn't tried to jump at .25 by way of medical advice, I'd have skated through my taper pretty well and that was after many years of use.

 

But...you're probably not going to sleep very well.  You might post in Insomnia to see if there are any tips to help with sleep.

[[ru...]]

If you continue to be passive with the nurse, they will definitely commit you.

 

Just play the game.

 

 

What do you mean passive what am I doing that is passive?  Why on Earth would she be hellbent on committing me just because she is a whacko on a power trip?  She knows by talking to me I am on to her.  What game do you mean and how do I play it?  What should I do IF I do go to the appointment tommorrow or should I not go and let it ride until my next appointment with this doctor which is in three weeks?

 

You are being passive by calling her and letting her know she was wrong.

 

Playing The Game

 

Tell them what they want to hear. Tell them you're going through intense panic attacks and you are having trouble breathing - they can't ignore that.

 

IMO, I wouldn't go back to them. I would, however,  go to an ER with a clean slate and tell them "what they want to hear." You could have the medication you need within three hours from now.

 

If you want, you can PM me and we could talk this out on the phone.

 

Much luck,

 

-Nick

[[Ch...]]

If you continue to be passive with the nurse, they will definitely commit you.

 

Just play the game.

 

 

What do you mean passive what am I doing that is passive?  Why on Earth would she be hellbent on committing me just because she is a whacko on a power trip?  She knows by talking to me I am on to her.  What game do you mean and how do I play it?  What should I do IF I do go to the appointment tommorrow or should I not go and let it ride until my next appointment with this doctor which is in three weeks?

 

You are being passive by calling her and letting her know she was wrong.

 

Playing The Game

 

Tell them what they want to hear. Tell them you're going through intense panic attacks and you are having trouble breathing - they can't ignore that.

 

IMO, I wouldn't go back to them. I would, however,  go to an ER with a clean slate and tell them "what they want to hear." You could have the medication you need within three hours from now.

 

If you want, you can PM me and we could talk this out on the phone.

 

Much luck,

 

-Nick

 

Nick,

Just a reminder of the guidelines for PMs/contact info: Safe and Responsible Use of the PM System

Challis 

 

[[bl...]]

 

After trying to taper off xanax many times and failing could you possibly have an answer to the question I posted above about why I can tolerate xanax but valium makes me feel awful and jittery.  That is what I was originally given but i couldn't tolerate so they gave me xanax instead, the rest is history.  Is it possible to taper from xanax or am I gonna hit a bad rough patch no matter what at the end. Also how do you get the brain to stop spinning and thinking shut up and just go to sleep already that is my tough one when I get so close to the end and then I can't take the no sleep and give in and dose up.  I want off I want this monkey off my back forever and I want rid of these doctors and nurses.

 

I realize you're asking the Valium tolerance question of another poster, but drugs, even from the same class, can affect people differently.  When they do the opposite of what they're supposed to do it's called 'paradoxical'.  So crossing to Valium wouldn't be a good move.

 

You definitely can dry cut all the way down with Xanax.  I did it and so have a lot of others.  If you stick with small cuts and pay attention to your body's reaction, you can do it.  If I hadn't tried to jump at .25 by way of medical advice, I'd have skated through my taper pretty well and that was after many years of use.

 

But...you're probably not going to sleep very well.  You might post in Insomnia to see if there are any tips to help with sleep.

 

 

What was the point where you jumped off okay?  I don't know if I want to take 1mg at bed and go down from there, or take .5 every 12 hours?  Or if I want to just try and do it at .5mg at bed and taper from there (just at bed) instead of doing it from 1mg.  I have been going back and forth from .5 to 1mg to 2mg the last few months and in no way I am going to start at 2mg I want to start with the lowest amount possible and get off it as quickly as possible (but no regrets, lol)

[[ru...]]

If you continue to be passive with the nurse, they will definitely commit you.

 

Just play the game.

 

 

What do you mean passive what am I doing that is passive?  Why on Earth would she be hellbent on committing me just because she is a whacko on a power trip?  She knows by talking to me I am on to her.  What game do you mean and how do I play it?  What should I do IF I do go to the appointment tommorrow or should I not go and let it ride until my next appointment with this doctor which is in three weeks?

 

You are being passive by calling her and letting her know she was wrong.

 

Playing The Game

 

Tell them what they want to hear. Tell them you're going through intense panic attacks and you are having trouble breathing - they can't ignore that.

 

IMO, I wouldn't go back to them. I would, however,  go to an ER with a clean slate and tell them "what they want to hear." You could have the medication you need within three hours from now.

 

If you want, you can PM me and we could talk this out on the phone.

 

Much luck,

 

-Nick

 

Nick,

Just a reminder of the guidelines for PMs/contact info: Safe and Responsible Use of the PM System

Challis 

 

Heard. 

[[bl...]]

If you continue to be passive with the nurse, they will definitely commit you.

 

Just play the game.

 

 

What do you mean passive what am I doing that is passive?  Why on Earth would she be hellbent on committing me just because she is a whacko on a power trip?  She knows by talking to me I am on to her.  What game do you mean and how do I play it?  What should I do IF I do go to the appointment tommorrow or should I not go and let it ride until my next appointment with this doctor which is in three weeks?

 

You are being passive by calling her and letting her know she was wrong.

 

Playing The Game

 

Tell them what they want to hear. Tell them you're going through intense panic attacks and you are having trouble breathing - they can't ignore that.

 

IMO, I wouldn't go back to them. I would, however,  go to an ER with a clean slate and tell them "what they want to hear." You could have the medication you need within three hours from now.

 

If you want, you can PM me and we could talk this out on the phone.

 

Much luck,

 

-Nick

 

Nick,

Just a reminder of the guidelines for PMs/contact info: Safe and Responsible Use of the PM System

Challis 

 

I understand what you are saying I am sure nick was just being kind and it is a shame a few bad apples have to make us all so over protective of one another.  But that being said I thank nick for the kindness there may be a day when I need to talk to someone by phone because I am at the end of my rope.  Are we not allowed to talk to one another?  I don't want to break any rules.

[[ru...]]

If you continue to be passive with the nurse, they will definitely commit you.

 

Just play the game.

 

 

What do you mean passive what am I doing that is passive?  Why on Earth would she be hellbent on committing me just because she is a whacko on a power trip?  She knows by talking to me I am on to her.  What game do you mean and how do I play it?  What should I do IF I do go to the appointment tommorrow or should I not go and let it ride until my next appointment with this doctor which is in three weeks?

 

You are being passive by calling her and letting her know she was wrong.

 

Playing The Game

 

Tell them what they want to hear. Tell them you're going through intense panic attacks and you are having trouble breathing - they can't ignore that.

 

IMO, I wouldn't go back to them. I would, however,  go to an ER with a clean slate and tell them "what they want to hear." You could have the medication you need within three hours from now.

 

If you want, you can PM me and we could talk this out on the phone.

 

Much luck,

 

-Nick

 

Nick,

Just a reminder of the guidelines for PMs/contact info: Safe and Responsible Use of the PM System

Challis 

 

I understand what you are saying I am sure nick was just being kind and it is a shame a few bad apples have to make us all so over protective of one another.  But that being said I thank nick for the kindness there may be a day when I need to talk to someone by phone because I am at the end of my rope.  Are we not allowed to talk to one another?  I don't want to break any rules.

 

I understand the rules It's just much easier to talk on the phone haha. But if we can't,  we can't.  Understandable!

[[Ch...]]

 

After trying to taper off xanax many times and failing could you possibly have an answer to the question I posted above about why I can tolerate xanax but valium makes me feel awful and jittery.  That is what I was originally given but i couldn't tolerate so they gave me xanax instead, the rest is history.  Is it possible to taper from xanax or am I gonna hit a bad rough patch no matter what at the end. Also how do you get the brain to stop spinning and thinking shut up and just go to sleep already that is my tough one when I get so close to the end and then I can't take the no sleep and give in and dose up.  I want off I want this monkey off my back forever and I want rid of these doctors and nurses.

 

I realize you're asking the Valium tolerance question of another poster, but drugs, even from the same class, can affect people differently.  When they do the opposite of what they're supposed to do it's called 'paradoxical'.  So crossing to Valium wouldn't be a good move.

 

You definitely can dry cut all the way down with Xanax.  I did it and so have a lot of others.  If you stick with small cuts and pay attention to your body's reaction, you can do it.  If I hadn't tried to jump at .25 by way of medical advice, I'd have skated through my taper pretty well and that was after many years of use.

 

But...you're probably not going to sleep very well.  You might post in Insomnia to see if there are any tips to help with sleep.

 

 

What was the point where you jumped off okay?   I don't know if I want to take 1mg at bed and go down from there, or take .5 every 12 hours?  Or if I want to just try and do it at .5mg at bed and taper from there (just at bed) instead of doing it from 1mg.  I have been going back and forth from .5 to 1mg to 2mg the last few months and in no way I am going to start at 2mg I want to start with the lowest amount possible and get off it as quickly as possible (but no regrets, lol)

 

Here's what I would do: I'd find a comfortable-ish baseline to start from and not waver from it once I was there.  I'd stick to that dose for a week to make sure it was okay.

 

I'd make the first cut a small one... like .0625 off the total daily dose, however you decide to dose. See how it goes. Better to go slow if you can and remain functional. 

 

Slow wins this race, and if you don't believe that and want to rush through it, I can tell you that when I did that exact thing I paid for it with horrible symptoms that I didn't have up until that point, even though I was a long term user and on 2mg daily when I started to taper.  And once symptoms have been brought on by too-rapid of a withdrawal, they usually don't go away for a long time, quite honestly.  It's much better (and that's an understatement) to NOT incur symptoms if you possibly can avoid it.

 

If I hadn't made that one bad cut, I may have gotten through this with insomnia and anxiety...instead, I messed it up and brought on symptoms that lasted a couple of years.

 

This is why I'm still here...to help other people taper correctly and avoid spending years recovering.

 

 

[[bl...]]

 

After trying to taper off xanax many times and failing could you possibly have an answer to the question I posted above about why I can tolerate xanax but valium makes me feel awful and jittery.  That is what I was originally given but i couldn't tolerate so they gave me xanax instead, the rest is history.  Is it possible to taper from xanax or am I gonna hit a bad rough patch no matter what at the end. Also how do you get the brain to stop spinning and thinking shut up and just go to sleep already that is my tough one when I get so close to the end and then I can't take the no sleep and give in and dose up.  I want off I want this monkey off my back forever and I want rid of these doctors and nurses.

 

I realize you're asking the Valium tolerance question of another poster, but drugs, even from the same class, can affect people differently.  When they do the opposite of what they're supposed to do it's called 'paradoxical'.  So crossing to Valium wouldn't be a good move.

 

You definitely can dry cut all the way down with Xanax.  I did it and so have a lot of others.  If you stick with small cuts and pay attention to your body's reaction, you can do it.  If I hadn't tried to jump at .25 by way of medical advice, I'd have skated through my taper pretty well and that was after many years of use.

 

But...you're probably not going to sleep very well.  You might post in Insomnia to see if there are any tips to help with sleep.

 

 

What was the point where you jumped off okay?   I don't know if I want to take 1mg at bed and go down from there, or take .5 every 12 hours?  Or if I want to just try and do it at .5mg at bed and taper from there (just at bed) instead of doing it from 1mg.  I have been going back and forth from .5 to 1mg to 2mg the last few months and in no way I am going to start at 2mg I want to start with the lowest amount possible and get off it as quickly as possible (but no regrets, lol)

 

Here's what I would do: I'd find a comfortable-ish baseline to start from and not waver from it once I was there.  I'd stick to that dose for a week to make sure it was okay.

 

I'd make the first cut a small one... like .0625 off the total daily dose, however you decide to dose. See how it goes. Better to go slow if you can and remain functional. 

 

Slow wins this race, and if you don't believe that and want to rush through it, I can tell you that when I did that exact thing I paid for it with horrible symptoms that I didn't have up until that point, even though I was a long term user and on 2mg daily when I started to taper.  And once symptoms have been brought on by too-rapid of a withdrawal, they usually don't go away for a long time, quite honestly.  It's much better (and that's an understatement) to NOT incur symptoms if you possibly can avoid it.

 

If I hadn't made that one bad cut, I may have gotten through this with insomnia and anxiety...instead, I messed it up and brought on symptoms that lasted a couple of years.

 

This is why I'm still here...to help other people taper correctly and avoid spending years recovering.

 

So you know where I am coming from, been off and on since 1999 and I am so done and want off asap just like all the other times I tried to quit and really meant it that time too.  But this time for me it is do or die.  If I don't get off this time I am on it for life, or until it kils me so to speak. It killed my cousin, she ended up with so  many health problems and weight and water gain and I am headed there so it is a must do now.  I have never let anyone or anything beat me before and it is not in my nature but I have met my match with this crap.

 

Why is it I feel like I have to do it in a hurry?  I think it is because I don't want to die like she did and I see my health going downhill fast like she did.  My uncle is worried about me dying like her from it.  I promised him I would get off and I am also letting him down.  I take it for that many years and feel like a few more weeks will kill me, is that even logical?  Why can't I be patient?  Why can't I do it right?  Why am I so impatient and stupid?  All the times I quit before cold turkey and went back on how do I even know it is able to be done right like you say now?  I want to do like you said if you think it can be done.  How many times can you take them, quit, take them, quit before you are at the point of no return, meaning reinstating is not doing anything?

 

Last night my head was just spinning and my mind wouldn't shut down without it?    I am not going to go back up to 2mg.  Like I said above I am thinking either 1mg at bed to start or split that and take .5mg every 12 hours or I am wondering if I could even just get away with taking .5mg at bed ONLY and not take any during the day and find some way to deal with the daytime jitters?

 

What I am wondering with once a day dosing is though am I putting myself through harder w/d and daily at that?  I mean once a day dosing lasts how long in the body?  So I would be essentially putting myself through w/d hell worse every single day just dosing once a day?

 

I hope I am making sense I feel I am but benzo brain I am so sure.  Thank you all for your kindness and help.  I cancelled the appointment for tommorrow. I am going to kick it with you all and ride this out for 2 weeks and do this wisely.  I have another appointment with the actual doctor in two weeks and will evaluate where I am at that point and see if I want to go or find someone else or just be done with all of them.

[[Ra...]]

The problem with Xanax is that it has a very quick up and down when it comes to effects.  It hits fast and tapers quickly.  The drug is still in your system, but not as strong as the initial dose.  Really it's up to your tolerance as to what you can take.  You really won't feel the effects of lower dosages until later down the line.  I started lowering my Klonopin dosage about a week ago and I'm just now starting to feel different effects. And it's different for everyone.  Me, I'm riding the edge.  I, like you, want off this as quickly as possible.  I'm taking it day by day as to how low I go.  The one thing I don't do is go higher.

 

[[Ch...]]

As far as dosing, Xanax is short acting and for the smoothest withdrawal most people try to get on a 3X or 4X a day dosing schedule.  However, I've known people who're used to one daily dose at bedtime stick with that one dose and do fine.  Everyone's different.  I was able to manipulate the number of doses and times as long as I kept the correct dosage for 24 hours...if that makes sense. 

 

In my opinion it's especially important for you to taper slowly given that you've tried and failed to taper in the past.  A lot of this is a head trip.  You get the information, hopefully understand how critical a slow taper is, and then stick to it.  Have someone hold your meds if you think you may crack under stress.

 

You sound tough enough to do this. 

[[bl...]]

The problem with Xanax is that it has a very quick up and down when it comes to effects.  It hits fast and tapers quickly.  The drug is still in your system, but not as strong as the initial dose.  Really it's up to your tolerance as to what you can take.  You really won't feel the effects of lower dosages until later down the line.  I started lowering my Klonopin dosage about a week ago and I'm just now starting to feel different effects. And it's different for everyone.  Me, I'm riding the edge.  I, like you, want off this as quickly as possible.  I'm taking it day by day as to how low I go.  The one thing I don't do is go higher.

 

With me it is always exactly 3 days after a cut, I mean you can set your watch by it, so weird.