Cognitive stuff.

[[Je...]]

 

Here's the kind of shit I deal with on a daily basis. 

It's getting past lunchtime, Im due for my next fix.  How do I know?  Well it starts with a wired anxious feeling, then progresses to blurred vision and a feeling of being disconnected.

 

I'm driving right, so I can make it another half hour..  right?

 

So I push it too long and this disconnected feeling progresses to where I am not all there cognitively.

 

I start to wonder if I can make it to where I'm going.  Frantically I pull over, pop my dose..

 

Then I have to wait an hour until my brain starts to work again, until I can see straight.

 

Every effing day I get this, worse if I'm late with my dose.

 

It is as if my brain won't work right without these GABA receptors being slathered in Xanax.

 

Interestingly, this is more prevalent mid-day and less so in the evening.  In the evening,  I barely feel any WD....sometimes I feel much better because I haven't taken the shit for a while.

 

sorry for the book..j

[[Je...]]

Hmmmm, I was sure I'd get some response to this...bump..

[[bu...]]

Hmmmm, I was sure I'd get some response to this...bump..

 

What kind of response are you looking for, Jerry?

 

You come here every day and talk about your xanax use and your sxs.  But when BBs suggest you should get off of xanax, or even that xanax causes your sxs, you tell us that you need the xanax, and that it has a positive therapeutic effect for you.

 

Its pretty well acknowleged that benzos do in fact have some positive therapeutic value (but usually short-term) for certain conditions such as anxiety and panic.  But its also pretty generally acknowledged that there are unfavorable side effects, depression being a common one.  And of course, benzos are almost never an appropriate long term therapy. 

 

So I don't know how to respond.  Are you  looking for affirmation that you should get off of xanax, or are you explaining why you want to keep taking it?  IMO, there are definitely some folks that need a medical therapy for conditions such as depression and/or anxiety (I certainly did!).  But as I have suggested to you in the past, there are ADs and anxiolytics that are probably more appropriate than benzos, especially if longer-term therapy is called for.

[[Je...]]

Just looking for some validation that Xanax is causing this.  It feels like i'm mixed state bipolar or something...

[[el...]]

I am with builder.  I can't figure out what you want to hear either.  Personally I think you have no desire to get off your Xanax and you come here because you know you need to. 

[[Be...]]

Jerry

 

Mid day is my worse time too. By far, 12pm to 6pm. Honestly its all hell that's just the worst of the hell.

[[Je...]]

Really I was just looking for someone to help me understand.  Someone who's experienced this.

Looking for someone who's been addicted to Xanax to tell me they experienced this too.  Doesn't sound like it's either of you. 

Most of all it helps and is distracting to me, to talk about it.  I can't talk to my wife about it, she just gives me a blank stare.

Sorry for bothering you.  I'll go away now.  I didn't realize I was annoying folks.

[Guest [Mi...]]

Just looking for some validation that Xanax is causing this.  It feels like i'm mixed state bipolar or something...

 

I've got the ol' bipolar diagnosis from back in the day when it was manic depression.

 

Here's my take on bipolar. According to Robert Whitaker's "Anatomy of an Epidemic" and his website Mad in America, 85% of people with the bipolar diagnosis have an "iatrongenic" illness - an illness caused by the medications.

 

If you were on psychiatric drugs and / or recreational drugs BEFORE you had your first manic episode, there's a possibility that you were misdiagnosed. I didn't get manic until I was on an AD.

 

Also, Xanax is NOT recommended to treat bipolar, especially in the long term.

 

Even if your goal is not to get off all of the bipolar meds, I really believe getting off benzos will be very helpful in the long run. 

 

After you completely recover from benzo withdrawal, you may even find you don't need the other meds. Once sleep is restored, anxiety levels go down, and the depression lifts. At least that's what I'm hoping happens for me. Hope it happens for you, too.

[[Be...]]

Jerry what are you talking about? I was on Xanax for 12 years! I may be on Valium now but I absolutely am still feeling the effects of coming off the xanax in August. I can relate!

[[bu...]]

Just looking for some validation that Xanax is causing this.  It feels like i'm mixed state bipolar or something...

 

OK, then yes, xanax is causing this!

 

I've told you that, more than once.  Several others have told you the same thing.

 

And if you really are "...mixed state bipolar or something..." you probably should be investigating med therapies more appropriate to that diagnosis.

 

There are obviously many folks here that want to help you Jerry, but if you just continue to reject our suggestions and defend your continued xanax use,  then we really can't be of much help.

[[th...]]

I know you are frustrated Jerry but they do have a point. No one says you are being annoying, I mean how annoying can a virtual person be?? People can just skip right over your posts, it's not like you or I affect anyone's actual life. But you do ask the same questions over and over and get the same responses. At some point you need to either believe what is being told to you or not right? You are not making any progress in your health just asking over and over....at some point you should make a decision on whether or not you should really taper seriously. You have a lot of choices to do so, lots of good info given to you, and lots of support here. But really hon you should know by now after all your questions and responses from many many bbs over months and months that your syxs are from your Xanax use and will cont as long as you take it IMO. I don't think your situation will change unless you come off it. You will cont to have these feelings and occurrences. Lots of bbs on here can relate to your syxs, we deal with them too, every day, all day...they are from the benzo. Everytime you ask people if "it's the Xanax" you will get a yes answer and the only answer to that prob is to taper off. I really think your issues will get better once off the Xanax. But, like I said many times, you have to want it bc the process can be hard. Just make up your mind to get off and start...like you have done by cutting a little already 

 

G

[[Je...]]

Did your brain stop working in between Xanax doses?  It's that simple.  That's all I was asking.

It would be naive for anyone on here to believe that Benzos caused every problem on this board.

Are they drugs you should avoid..yep...do they cause dependence and tolerance problems..yep

Do I want to get off Xanax yep.  Do I think it's my only problem...possibly.

You take the wrong person off Benzos at the wrong time and you CAN harm them.  I've seen it happen.

 

I do appreciate your thoughts.j

 

I know you are frustrated Jerry but they do have a point. No one says you are being annoying, I mean how annoying can a virtual person be?? People can just skip right over your posts, it's not like you or I affect anyone's actual life. But you do ask the same questions over and over and get the same responses. At some point you need to either believe what is being told to you or not right? You are not making any progress in your health just asking over and over....at some point you should make a decision on whether or not you should really taper seriously. You have a lot of choices to do so, lots of good info given to you, and lots of support here. But really hon you should know by now after all your questions and responses from many many bbs over months and months that your syxs are from your Xanax use and will cont as long as you take it IMO. I don't think your situation will change unless you come off it. You will cont to have these feelings and occurrences. Lots of bbs on here can relate to your syxs, we deal with them too, every day, all day...they are from the benzo. Everytime you ask people if "it's the Xanax" you will get a yes answer and the only answer to that prob is to taper off. I really think your issues will get better once off the Xanax. But, like I said many times, you have to want it bc the process can be hard. Just make up your mind to get off and start...like you have done by cutting a little already 

 

G

[[Je...]]

Just looking for some validation that Xanax is causing this.  It feels like i'm mixed state bipolar or something...

 

OK, then yes, xanax is causing this!

 

I've told you that, more than once.  Several others have told you the same thing.

 

And if you really are "...mixed state bipolar or something..." you probably should be investigating med therapies more appropriate to that diagnosis.

 

There are obviously many folks here that want to help you Jerry, but if you just continue to reject our suggestions and defend your continued xanax use,  then we really can't be of much help.

.  I've NOT rejected anything, I'm not defending my Xanax use, sorry if I give off that impression.  But in my defense I was witness to someone committing suicide because they were given advice that maybe should have been a little less zealous.  I don't want to be that person.

Do I hate Xanax?  FUCK yes I do.  am I going to try to go off?  Yes.  Am I going to stay on it if it's the only way to keep from killing myself?  Yep.  Believe me I loath taking that pill, but the fact that my sx seem to be more severe than other folk's, tells me I need to be careful.

[[th...]]

Did your brain stop working in between Xanax doses?  It's that simple.  That's all I was asking.

It would be naive for anyone on here to believe that Benzos caused every problem on this board.

Are they drugs you should avoid..yep...do they cause dependence and tolerance problems..yep

Do I want to get off Xanax yep.  Do I think it's my only problem...possibly.

You take the wrong person off Benzos at the wrong time and you CAN harm them.  I've seen it happen.

 

I do appreciate your thoughts.j

 

I know you are frustrated Jerry but they do have a point. No one says you are being annoying, I mean how annoying can a virtual person be?? People can just skip right over your posts, it's not like you or I affect anyone's actual life. But you do ask the same questions over and over and get the same responses. At some point you need to either believe what is being told to you or not right? You are not making any progress in your health just asking over and over....at some point you should make a decision on whether or not you should really taper seriously. You have a lot of choices to do so, lots of good info given to you, and lots of support here. But really hon you should know by now after all your questions and responses from many many bbs over months and months that your syxs are from your Xanax use and will cont as long as you take it IMO. I don't think your situation will change unless you come off it. You will cont to have these feelings and occurrences. Lots of bbs on here can relate to your syxs, we deal with them too, every day, all day...they are from the benzo. Everytime you ask people if "it's the Xanax" you will get a yes answer and the only answer to that prob is to taper off. I really think your issues will get better once off the Xanax. But, like I said many times, you have to want it bc the process can be hard. Just make up your mind to get off and start...like you have done by cutting a little already 

 

G

 

I agree that not everyone's problems are benzo related, I think many bbs have underlying issues that cause additional pain and syxs besides the wd. I think you are right in that assessment. Bc I know I do for sure. I have anxiety issues and a busy brain way before benzos so I don't expect these syxs to be gone....ever. But I will never agree that Xanax or any benzo should be used after a two week period for any medical issue. They are not safe in that regard. They have a very real problem of causing the same issue they were originally given for, even you said you think your brother takes it to combat interdose wd, that's not beneficial it's harmful. I will never think benzos should be used long term for anything. And I will always think it's better for the person to come off than stay on. This is bc over time the benzos have a stronger and stronger hold on a person and cause more and more problems. I don't know what is going on with you, of-course I don't, but I don't think the Xanax is beneficial to you anymore and I think it is causing you more harm than good. That is how I feel about anyone on it longer than 2 weeks. Actually longer than a few doses is too long IMO.

 

I feel bad that you aren't sure what to do with your Xanax usage. I think that would be a very hard situation especially since you don't seem to be doing well on it either. Must be very difficult for you.

 

G

[[...]]

Did your brain stop working in between Xanax doses?  It's that simple.  That's all I was asking.

It would be naive for anyone on here to believe that Benzos caused every problem on this board.

Are they drugs you should avoid..yep...do they cause dependence and tolerance problems..yep

Do I want to get off Xanax yep.  Do I think it's my only problem...possibly.

You take the wrong person off Benzos at the wrong time and you CAN harm them.  I've seen it happen.

 

Jerry, I do not have any experience with Xanax. However some of the things you've described mimic almost to the letter how I was with alcohol towards the end of my usage. If you read my post in the taper section you'll see you're not alone.

 

I know how it can feel to really want to continue to feel okay. And for one and a half weeks, right at the end of my 10-year drinking career, I lost control. This is where the chemicals took over, and only with alcohol was I able to truly function.

 

It was absolutely terrifying, and I can empathise with your need to have a dose immediately. I know exactly how it feels to think that there's something horribly wrong with me, and finally when I get calmed, I've forgotten how it was and just want to enjoy how I feel.

 

I think the question one should ask is whether you want to feel "normal eventually" or "great now". I suspect, as everyone else has mentioned, that what you're going through is a very tough tolerance withdrawal. Maybe a longer acting benzo might be able to help you to really feel stable all the time if you crossover, if you've decided to quit, and if you feel as if you're losing your mind right before doses. My 0.02. E

[[Je...]]

Did your brain stop working in between Xanax doses?  It's that simple.  That's all I was asking.

It would be naive for anyone on here to believe that Benzos caused every problem on this board.

Are they drugs you should avoid..yep...do they cause dependence and tolerance problems..yep

Do I want to get off Xanax yep.  Do I think it's my only problem...possibly.

You take the wrong person off Benzos at the wrong time and you CAN harm them.  I've seen it happen.

 

I do appreciate your thoughts.j

 

I know you are frustrated Jerry but they do have a point. No one says you are being annoying, I mean how annoying can a virtual person be?? People can just skip right over your posts, it's not like you or I affect anyone's actual life. But you do ask the same questions over and over and get the same responses. At some point you need to either believe what is being told to you or not right? You are not making any progress in your health just asking over and over....at some point you should make a decision on whether or not you should really taper seriously. You have a lot of choices to do so, lots of good info given to you, and lots of support here. But really hon you should know by now after all your questions and responses from many many bbs over months and months that your syxs are from your Xanax use and will cont as long as you take it IMO. I don't think your situation will change unless you come off it. You will cont to have these feelings and occurrences. Lots of bbs on here can relate to your syxs, we deal with them too, every day, all day...they are from the benzo. Everytime you ask people if "it's the Xanax" you will get a yes answer and the only answer to that prob is to taper off. I really think your issues will get better once off the Xanax. But, like I said many times, you have to want it bc the process can be hard. Just make up your mind to get off and start...like you have done by cutting a little already 

 

G

 

I agree that not everyone's problems are benzo related, I think many bbs have underlying issues that cause additional pain and syxs besides the wd. I think you are right in that assessment. Bc I know I do for sure. I have anxiety issues and a busy brain way before benzos so I don't expect these syxs to be gone....ever. But I will never agree that Xanax or any benzo should be used after a two week period for any medical issue. They are not safe in that regard. They have a very real problem of causing the same issue they were originally given for, even you said you think your brother takes it to combat interdose wd, that's not beneficial it's harmful. I will never think benzos should be used long term for anything. And I will always think it's better for the person to come off than stay on. This is bc over time the benzos have a stronger and stronger hold on a person and cause more and more problems. I don't know what is going on with you, of-course I don't, but I don't think the Xanax is beneficial to you anymore and I think it is causing you more harm than good. That is how I feel about anyone on it longer than 2 weeks. Actually longer than a few doses is too long IMO.

 

I feel bad that you aren't sure what to do with your Xanax usage. I think that would be a very hard situation especially since you don't seem to be doing well on it either. Must be very difficult for you.

 

G

 

I've told you I loath taking that pill and I'm going to do my best to get off.  I am not willing to give up my life to get off.  I do know what I want to do, I just need constant reassurance that I can do it.

[[th...]]

Just looking for some validation that Xanax is causing this.  It feels like i'm mixed state bipolar or something...

 

OK, then yes, xanax is causing this!

 

I've told you that, more than once.  Several others have told you the same thing.

 

And if you really are "...mixed state bipolar or something..." you probably should be investigating med therapies more appropriate to that diagnosis.

 

There are obviously many folks here that want to help you Jerry, but if you just continue to reject our suggestions and defend your continued xanax use,  then we really can't be of much help.

.  I've NOT rejected anything, I'm not defending my Xanax use, sorry if I give off that impression.  But in my defense I was witness to someone committing suicide because they were given advice that maybe should have been a little less zealous.  I don't want to be that person.

Do I hate Xanax?  FUCK yes I do.  am I going to try to go off?  Yes.  Am I going to stay on it if it's the only way to keep from killing myself?  Yep.  Believe me I loath taking that pill, but the fact that my sx seem to be more severe than other folk's, tells me I need to be careful.

 

Sure. You should be careful. Cut small doses or even do a very small micro daily taper, this will help with the "over zealous" ideas and fears you have. And I think many folks on here have just the same syxs as you, they are just tapering while they suffer. I was suffering greatly prior to tapering, the same as with many on here, and I suffer during my taper, but it hasn't been worse, as a matter of fact it was worse before I tapered. The interdose and tol wd was worse before I split my dose and began my taper. That was the most brutal painful time of my life and when I was suicidal. This was PRIOR to the taper while I was taking 6 mgs of Xanax a day. I am way better now than I was then.

 

G