Going insane! Help please!

[[Mo...]]

So what should I do? I don't know of anyone whos been on this high a dose for this long and has as bad of a history of both mental illness and i never abused rx drugs. But im not going to drop by 25 cause that would send me into seisures. I cant drive I cant focus on my kids i cant focus on anything right now except the extreme stress I don't think anyone can help me. I feel if i come off the librium ill die, if i stay on i'll die! I can't take valium i don't know how much longer i can go on like this and feel that if i taper the wd will be excruciating as ive been through it so many times and i'll go insane or catatonic or my heart will stop!  I just don't know anymore but I can't keep feeling like this. I feel like i need to be in a mh i dont want to especially down here but each day just keeps getting worse! I doubt they would keep me for a 30 day detox see even that seems crazy cause ive been on them a year! But im not functioning well at all i cant focus on my kids or the world around me. Can they keep you indefinately in psychwards if you go catatonic from abrupt benzo wd? Or completely insane. Thats how i feel I feel insane and angry and scared!!

[[be...]]

First I have never heard of a psychiatric ward keeping someone indefinitely unless it is criminal insanity. Insurance is not going to pay for long term psychiatric care.They are there to make sure you are fairly mentally stable and stays are usually 4 or 5 days. They try to find something outpatient when you get out. I have been in the psychiatric ward 16 times in my 3 cold turkey withdrawals. Withdrawal from a cold turkey withdrawal can take months. No one is going to keep you for that duration.  I was never kept even when I thought I was going insane and was suffering from constant hallucinations. I did not need a medical facility to do that I could curl up in a ball in my corner and hallucinate at home.

[[Mo...]]

First I have never heard of a psychiatric ward keeping someone indefinitely unless it is criminal insanity. Insurance is not going to pay for long term psychiatric care.They are there to make sure you are fairly mentally stable and stays are usually 4 or 5 days. They try to find something outpatient when you get out. I have been in the psychiatric ward 16 times in my 3 cold turkey withdrawals. Withdrawal from a cold turkey withdrawal can take months. No one is going to keep you for that duration.  I was never kept even when I thought I was going insane and was suffering from constant hallucinations. I did not need a medical facility to do that I could curl up in a ball in my corner and hallucinate at home.

When I was in one in norcal they had people that had been there for years they would just rotate them to different floors or hospitals. One was an old man one was a young girl who cut herself, she had been to practically evey psych ward in the state.

[[be...]]

First I have never heard of a psychiatric ward keeping someone indefinitely unless it is criminal insanity. Insurance is not going to pay for long term psychiatric care.They are there to make sure you are fairly mentally stable and stays are usually 4 or 5 days. They try to find something outpatient when you get out. I have been in the psychiatric ward 16 times in my 3 cold turkey withdrawals. Withdrawal from a cold turkey withdrawal can take months. No one is going to keep you for that duration.  I was never kept even when I thought I was going insane and was suffering from constant hallucinations. I did not need a medical facility to do that I could curl up in a ball in my corner and hallucinate at home.

When I was in one in norcal they had people that had been there for years they would just rotate them to different floors or hospitals. One was an old man one was a young girl who cut herself, she had been to practically evey psych ward in the state.

 

That sounds like a state institution mental facility. People go there when they are committed.  Your typically hospital is not designed for long term care.  Benzodiazepine withdrawal is pretty much done at home. Its awful, plain and simple. I had 16 psychiatric stays during my three cold turkey withdrawals. All of them were well needed and treated my immediate mental health needs and connected me with out patient options throughout the county when I got out after a 3 or 4 day stay. It sounds like you are going to have a rough time of it whether you taper or stop abruptly. From personal experience now is the time to look for what support it will take to do either, and what kind of out patient help there is.  I would not plan on being committed to a state institution for months. You have to figure out how to do the withdrawal process at home. But it sounds like you have the opportunity to maybe detox for up to 30 days

[[Mo...]]

First I have never heard of a psychiatric ward keeping someone indefinitely unless it is criminal insanity. Insurance is not going to pay for long term psychiatric care.They are there to make sure you are fairly mentally stable and stays are usually 4 or 5 days. They try to find something outpatient when you get out. I have been in the psychiatric ward 16 times in my 3 cold turkey withdrawals. Withdrawal from a cold turkey withdrawal can take months. No one is going to keep you for that duration.  I was never kept even when I thought I was going insane and was suffering from constant hallucinations. I did not need a medical facility to do that I could curl up in a ball in my corner and hallucinate at home.

 

When I was in one in norcal they had people that had been there for years they would just rotate them to different floors or hospitals. One was an old man one was a young girl who cut herself, she had been to practically evey psych ward in the state.

 

That sounds like a state institution mental facility. People go there when they are committed.  Your typically hospital is not designed for long term care.  Benzodiazepine withdrawal is pretty much done at home. Its awful, plain and simple. I had 16 psychiatric stays during my three cold turkey withdrawals. All of them were well needed and treated my immediate mental health needs and connected me with out patient options throughout the county when I got out after a 3 or 4 day stay. It sounds like you are going to have a rough time of it whether you taper or stop abruptly. From personal experience now is the time to look for what support it will take to do either, and what kind of out patient help there is.  I would not plan on being committed to a state institution for months. You have to figure out how to do the withdrawal process at home. But it sounds like you have the opportunity to maybe detox for up to 30 days

That was befire now we know my insurance doesn't cover it. I don't think any medical hospital would keep me for 30 days. I was thinking UCI might do that but based on what your saying I don't think they will. My husband won't be working from home anymore and we are going to have to move out of my inlaws soon. Im in tolerence. Doing poorly don't know what to do anymore theres really no other support down here. Like i said the county wanted me to drop by 25% but I couldn't drop by 5 before. My old Dr from up north said to get a 2nd opinion he is from kaiser he says a 25% drop would be fatal as sensetive as i am and he said even a 5 mg drop I should be prepaired to go to the ER. But what ER could I go to?  this all at the county at this point kaiser down here said U could go ti the ER for medical reasons but not fir mental health. For mental health they would send the county in to asses me.

[[be...]]

You have to be really sick to get into a ICU. I was in a tolerance withdrawal for several years without knowing why I was so sick. Getting off benzodiazepines was the best thing I ever did.....even doing it cold turkey. If I had to do it over again I would do it the same way. There would have been no way I could have tapered my way out of a tolerance withdrawal.

[[Mo...]]

But i thought you said if your thinking of going cold turkey don't. And your dose was not as high as mine. The county detox offered to me is 7-10 days. Don't know what they'll use or do what if i come out of this completely brain damaged and in protracted or catatonic?

[[be...]]

But i thought you said if your thinking of going cold turkey don't. And your dose was not as high as mine. The county detox offered to me is 7-10 days. Don't know what they'll use or do what if i come out of this completely brain damaged and in protracted or catatonic?

 

I would never tell anyone to go cold turkey from a high dose. A protracted withdrawal  does not even begin until you are a year out from your last dose, so let's not worry about that yet. You don't think you are able to do a taper over the next few months? That is not an option at all?

[[Mo...]]

I don't have a doctor to supervise it. Like i said all i have are 25 mg pills about a bottles worth and some scripts that i don't know if can be filled or not cause it's all through the county and i filed a grievence against him so I wont have anyone to go back to after. 7-10 day detox. The county isnt going to give me pheno outpaitient thats for sure. I feel like this is total suicide. I have two little girls one and three. My husband doesn't care anymore I'm shaking just typing this. Im so med sensetive and don't know what or who would be able to help me with it all. Plus my liver is shot pretty sure pheno is not good for the liver.

[[Mo...]]

You have to be really sick to get into a ICU. I was in a tolerance withdrawal for several years without knowing why I was so sick. Getting off benzodiazepines was the best thing I ever did.....even doing it cold turkey. If I had to do it over again I would do it the same way. There would have been no way I could have tapered my way out of a tolerance withdrawal.

Not icu UCI university of california Irvine. I have been in the heart ward and icu up in nor cal at kaiser from alcohol wds before. You mean they wouldn't take you at mental hospitals or reg hospitals when you were hallucinating? My old dr. Uo north said if i start gallucinating i need to go to the ER! Just like if I was having DTZ!