is anyone's fear so bad they cant do anything

[[gi...]]

Hi All

 

Yes it's me again. Is anyone's fear and terror so bad that they cannot move from the chair to do ANYTHING?

 

I just tried to change the loo roll and the thought of doing this simple task was too much to cope with and I couldn't do it. I felt too afraid to go to the cupboard where I keep the loo roll. It's like there was no safety about it at all.

 

Does anyone understand this at all?

gingging

[[lo...]]

Hi gingging

 

I am sorry you are feeling so very afraid.  I don't think you are alone on this forum.

 

I have suffered agoraphobia and monophobia in the past but so have some understanding of these irrational fears.

 

I hope it subsides very soon for you.

 

Hugs

 

LF 

 

 

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Yes I suffer from the terror for no reason. Walking across a room can be terrifying.

 

I've read of others who had this badly and then got better.

[[Fr...]]

ginging,

 

Yes, mine was. I imagine I'll feel it again, but it has been better post-withdrawal. At the .125mg dose I was on holiday from work and so just sat at the end of my couch and could do little more than check-in here and try ... try to focus on television, but I couldn't.

 

I'm not certain all of that is withdrawal, as I used to feel that long before ever taking a benzo. It was a symptom of anxiety/panic. I didn't always just have to "run way"; Sometimes I just couldn't move.

 

I will probably never be able to sort-out what is withdrawal and what is anxiety, but I'm working on it.

[[gi...]]

Does anyone know why we get this fear and why it stops us functioning.

 

I thought it would be possible to do little things whilst in fear but I cannot.

 

Very worried

gingging

[Guest [Mi...]]

Hi All

 

Yes it's me again. Is anyone's fear and terror so bad that they cannot move from the chair to do ANYTHING?

 

I just tried to change the loo roll and the thought of doing this simple task was too much to cope with and I couldn't do it. I felt too afraid to go to the cupboard where I keep the loo roll. It's like there was no safety about it at all.

 

Does anyone understand this at all?

gingging

 

I've had this very bizarre "inability" as opposed to an outright "fear". I've had a really hard time keeping my apartment dusted because I've been unable to go near the outer edges of my apartment.

 

So some of the items in my room really, really need to be dusted.

 

I'm not really "afraid" of these areas, but I feel very dizzy, my stomach gets pains, and the bookcases tilt toward me like they're falling.

 

It may be fear-based but because my depersonalization is so great, I'm too emotionally blunted to connect emotions to it, only the feeling of dizziness and tilting.

 

It comes and goes, which is good because it does allow me to dust and clean on occasion.

 

The thought of you trying to change a roll of loo paper made me think of it. Very bizarre stuff, isn't it? Do you have any physical sensations or is yours soley the emotional feelings of fear?

[[gi...]]

Hi Mind

 

It's just fear. I can't understand it at all. I can't seem to push through the fear and do it anyway like others are able to do. I hope this applies to other buddies too. I'm so worried.

gg

[Guest [Mi...]]

Hi Mind

 

It's just fear. I can't understand it at all. I can't seem to push through the fear and do it anyway like others are able to do. I hope this applies to other buddies too. I'm so worried.

gg

 

Don't try to "push through" it right now. You're going to wear yourself out.

 

Can your partner do some of this for you?

 

If you can acknowledge your limitations along with the fact that it's temporary, that may set your mind at ease.

 

I got really disgusted with myself because I used to be a clean freak and vacuum and dust and clean once or twice a week. Every thing had to be in its place and scrubbed clean.

 

Now, not so much. But I've accepted that this is how life is until I feel better.

 

Is your fear of getting stuff like this done based on a general fear that you won't ever recover? 

[[Fa...]]

Tons of fear that is paralyzingly and to be quite honest it has brought me to my knees where I'm finally turning it over to God, praying and working with a spiritual counselor.  I found one who works for FREE as her ministry.  You can find one if you search NANC counselors.  I'm so blessed that I finally have someone to listen to and help me through this time when so many others don't understand.

[[Sa...]]

Tons of people have had the fear. Its one of the primary centers of the brain that is over stimulated. I still get mine somewhat. Not as bad but still there.

[[no...]]

YES!

This was me post-jump. Fear was my primary symptom during withdrawal. I had this irrational fear of so many mundane things, and the floors and walls sloped and colors looked too clear, sounds made me jump. But the fear was absurd.

I understand the feeling that you simply cannot push through. But you cannot believe everything your head is telling you- not now not ever. Feelings are not fact.

I had no choice but to work while in w/d. And I white knuckled it through days and days. I was too scared to walk to the copy machine down the hall, and had to psyche myself to do it. I simply did not go to the bathroom while at work, totally irrational and I dont even know how I did it. But underneath that w/d induced fear is the real me, and the real you. When your head says I cannot go get that toilet paper, or I cannot walk to the copier- you can challenge it. You can say well, what if I do it anyway. I would play this sort of game with myself where I would say- well perhaps I will die trying, simply die of fright, but I am going to go to the mailbox anyway, going to go to the cellar etc. And I had this weird sense of accomplishment and pride when I just in fact did do it. It is how I went through my acute phase of withdrawal and I did it with everything from tying my shoe to giving a gallery talk.

It gets better- I promise. I thought I was destined to be freaked out for life. Not. For me it took a while, because I had reinstated prior. Don't do that- it makes it much harder. Just stay the course and remind yourself its not that something is terribly "wrong". Its that you are HEALING. because all these symptoms are signs that you are.

north

[[mr...]]

YES!

This was me post-jump. Fear was my primary symptom during withdrawal. I had this irrational fear of so many mundane things, and the floors and walls sloped and colors looked too clear, sounds made me jump. But the fear was absurd.

I understand the feeling that you simply cannot push through. But you cannot believe everything your head is telling you- not now not ever. Feelings are not fact.

I had no choice but to work while in w/d. And I white knuckled it through days and days. I was too scared to walk to the copy machine down the hall, and had to psyche myself to do it. I simply did not go to the bathroom while at work, totally irrational and I dont even know how I did it. But underneath that w/d induced fear is the real me, and the real you. When your head says I cannot go get that toilet paper, or I cannot walk to the copier- you can challenge it. You can say well, what if I do it anyway. I would play this sort of game with myself where I would say- well perhaps I will die trying, simply die of fright, but I am going to go to the mailbox anyway, going to go to the cellar etc. And I had this weird sense of accomplishment and pride when I just in fact did do it. It is how I went through my acute phase of withdrawal and I did it with everything from tying my shoe to giving a gallery talk.

It gets better- I promise. I thought I was destined to be freaked out for life. Not. For me it took a while, because I had reinstated prior. Don't do that- it makes it much harder. Just stay the course and remind yourself its not that something is terribly "wrong". Its that you are HEALING. because all these symptoms are signs that you are.

north

 

^^ Yes, this girl.

 

gingging,  I cannot tell you how many times I've read (and re-read) Northofhere's past history of postings.  When I was in "the heat" of my withdrawal, fear was by far the worst symptom that I experienced.  Like Northofhere describes, I was afraid of SO many things.  She mentions working, above, but if you read her post history you will discover that, not only did she work full-time, but she had to commute a one-hour's drive (one way!) to get to and from work each day, AND drive into a big city!  During the worst of her withdrawal, outside of working full-time, she was also going to school for her master's degree AND traveling for some art expos (or was it shows & such for her graduate degree? I don't remember exactly), staying overnight and all. 

 

I've never read of anyone having fear as a symptom worse than I've read it from Northofhere.

 

Yet she did all these things -- ALL OF THEM!

 

When I read that, I knew, I knew it in my gut, that I had no reason why I couldn't do it, too, outside of the fact that I didn't want to.  I no longer had the excuse of "I can't" because of fear (dang it!).

 

But it's because of people like Northofhere (and if you're into reading posting history, Schatje, drew28, Sophia, etc) that I still have my job.  That I still travel.  That I still participate in "life" events (birthday parties, holiday celebrations, etc).  It's because of people like this that I was able to earn some of my own respect by spitting in the face of fear and doing it anyways. (Oh, me and "fear" had many, MANY conversations while I was in the midst of my withdrawals...)

 

It is in my opinion that there is nothing you cannot do, even in withdrawal.  In my livingroom hung these words, written as I shook like a leaf: "'CAN'T' is just a mindset, EVEN IN WITHDRAWAL. I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me."  I cannot bear to throw away that tattered piece of paper that I wrote those words, because they shaped my withdrawal and changed me forever.

 

gingging, this will NOT last forever.  You are going to make it, and with NOTHING MISSING NOTHING BROKEN.  Just keep on moving forward, one baby step at a time.  You GOT this

 

Mrs.

 

(I do want to note that I am referring to making the decision to not do something based on fear, and saying "I can't".  I am NOT referring to those individuals who are physically unable to participate in certain activities at the present time, due to some physical limitations.  I am strictly talking of making decisions based on fear )

[[Te...]]

Yes, I've had that type of fear also, due to w/d anxiety. I couldn't move from the couch and just stayed there all day watching one TV show after another, until it finally went away.

[[La...]]

Yes, I've had that type of fear also, due to w/d anxiety. I couldn't move from the couch and just stayed there all day watching one TV show after another, until it finally went away.

 

Me too ! Then days when brushing my teeth was a major accomplishment. I made the statement many times that it would take a crane to get me off my sofa...and now, I am working out...almost 3 days a week...some days more than others. Still awake with cog fog, anxiety, depression. Sometimes one of, sometimes all of and then some. It usually subsides by 10:00 am but not the last couple of da

You will get past this. If I did, I think anyone can. It's been a lonnnnnnnnnngggggggg journey thus far.

 

 

[[Te...]]

YAY, Lakeside64!!! Sounds like you're doing so much better!!!