... and this is around the point I'd surely be diagnosed as bipolar...

[[Se...]]

... the same as what happens to so many other souls who are unknowingly in benzo or psych.-drug withdrawal.  In retrospect, piecing the events together, this is precisely how I arrived at benzos... after an intense, ongoing w/d from an ssri after kindling of same.  The doctors then kept asking me, "And WHY are you so angry?"  "WHY are you so impulsive?"  All I could manage to understand back then was that it wasn't "me"... it was the drug, but I couldn't articulate it well to others. At least I now fully understand it WAS the drugs (I refuse to call them medications.)

 

Hah.  I laugh through the suffering and anger as my "recovery" progresses.  The fact now is... had I not known better this time around and had I actually visited a doc by now wrt to the emotional & psychological w/d symptoms, this is precisely what would have happened/be happening to me now.  I'd be diagnosed as bipolar... the burgeoning flavor-of-the-day & cash-cow for Big Pharma, and the "label" slapped on the natural offshoot of withdrawal from these legal toxins.  But it isn't funny at all, because this is so often what happens to people in benzo (or other psych. med) w/d who are experiencing waves and windows, isn't it.  This is what the ones who visit their docs complaining of psycho-physical w/d symptoms are routinely told:  It's your mental illness.  We know this unfolding of events to be the truth in the majority of cases.  What a scam.  No more.  If nothing else, please count your blessings that you can no longer be fooled by them.  Stay strong.  I'm trying so hard to be.

 

Btw, nearly six months out and although I had some times of semi-lucidity and hopefulness, there's never been an abatement of a lot of symptoms.