Having major separation anxiety...

[[ca...]]

I'm recovered in so many ways so why am i having this surge of anxiety once finding out my safe person is going away for a week.  How will i survive this anxiety? Will it throw me into a wave.  Presently in bed wide awake with my heart in my ear and thumping in chest.  Im usually in a depressed state and her presence helps me dismiss it.  I know im trying to hold it together till she leaves and then i may just explode!  Dont know how to convince myself i'll be okay.

[[ai...]]

This particular symptom was excruciating to me...I'm so sorry you're experiencing it. Except for a few months in the beginning, my son has lived with me for my entire taper and recovery; and whenever he was going to be away at his friends, or anywhere else, I would panic inside. I felt like I needed a babysitter constantly...I felt horribly ashamed of it as well. Luckily, I had a work friend that understood everything I was going through and allowed me to text and 'chat' during the worst moments. Sometimes when I wasn't in the mood to chat, I would sob because the desolation was so acute...and that would make me feel better (this is when I found on the internet that crying releases feel good chemicals  ). Sometimes I would just pace the house to manage invading anxiety and useless thoughts. Finally, when I was a little more recovered, I started exercising to combat those horrible feelings and the endorphins from my workout would be enough to kill the bad feelings.

 

But, the most important thing for you to know is...I'm still here! I did not go crazy; I did not shrivel up and die; I did not make a fool of myself; I did not (fill this in)...

AND, I don't have those feelings anymore! 

They really do go away in time...

 

Take care of yourself and try to distract as best as you can...you will make it!

 

Hugs to you, XXOO

[[ca...]]

It is possibly one of the worst side effects of withdrawal.  Feeling inadequate and the fear of needing someone and anticipating when that someone is not there.  Im so glad you no longer have these feelings.  It seems im not a quick healer as im 10 months out and still feel this way.  I imagine i will be feeling this for another while seeing that it hasnt improved too drastically since acute.

[[ai...]]

Don't let my signature fool you...I felt the separation anxiety for about 2 1/2 yrs and it took very long to start abating...but once it started, it only took about 6 months to resolve itself. Before that, the only thing that would help was talking to someone I trusted...a family member or close friend. Or trying the things I stated above. Find something that works for you...

 

Hugs

[[ca...]]

Yesss i truly thought it was only a 6 month ordeal for you but god you had to do that for years too.  I first encountered it during my two year taper from celexa but i found i could at least distract but by goly, i was clinging like cling on with b/w.  The minute i hear word of someone wanting to leave the home i'd automatically cry.  Now it can take about an hour till i feel any emotion, then the waterworks, then the fear.  Does it truly all go away?  Without an inkling of a worry?  I remember a time when i couldnt wait for someone to leave so i could get some quiet time.

[[be...]]

I'm recovered in so many ways so why am i having this surge of anxiety once finding out my safe person is going away for a week.  How will i survive this anxiety? Will it throw me into a wave.  Presently in bed wide awake with my heart in my ear and thumping in chest.  Im usually in a depressed state and her presence helps me dismiss it.  I know im trying to hold it together till she leaves and then i may just explode!  Dont know how to convince myself i'll be okay.

 

can you talk via phone, text or email a few times a day??

[[ca...]]

I do text and email.  I havent gotten over my phone fear yet so talking is out of the question.  It feels like its not the same as a live person.  Texts and email loses its touch very quickly.  I cant explain it.  Its almost like i get bored with it and then my mind wanders.

[[ca...]]

Oh god i really thought i was handling this well but going on two days with no sleep now.  Its all crashing down.  Heart palps from hell, dizziness, and vision disturbances.  She hasn't even left yet so i'll be in this state till she leaves and then for the duration shes gone.  I really thought i would be past all this anxiety and intrusive thoughts.

[[An...]]

I'm really sorry to hear this.  I came back home to live with my parents for awhile, and I'll be going back again in a month's time.  Being able to live with someone else has really helped (I usually live alone), so now I'm getting nervous about going back.

 

It may help to know that separation anxiety almost always vanishes instantaneously after you realize that you're perfectly fine, even after the person has temporarily left.  So you may think now that you'll be all messed up, but that's just the fear talking, and it always lies.  I know that this is hard to believe, because your anxiety is so severe that it's causing so many physical problems.  But just because it's a good liar doesn't change the fact that it's lying.

[[Ma...]]

When I do this I am having dpdr at its worse. I get more detached from my family if I am not with them 24/7.

[[ca...]]

Audrey-i wish i could just make my brain focus on the fact its temporary.  But its been two days since she announced the trip and she hasnt even left yet and im already a wreck!  I dont know if it will let up or get worse when she leaves.  I have pent up anxiety that im trying to suppress so i dont start begging . Its manifests itself as panic in my sleep.  So strange how the brain works.

 

Maymay-  Yess!! The dp/dr gets so bad!! I kept blinking today wondering why my vision is so blurry and distorted.  It clicked that it was dp/dr.  My vision has been fine till yesterday.

[[ga...]]

I can relate to those feelings you are having.  With me, now age 59, I have this fear, anxiety, depression that hits hard especially in the early morning hours.  I usually awaken at  3 or 4 a.m. after 4 hours of sleep and feel overwhelmed with these thoughts of being alone.  How will I make it in the future if it is just me.  I have little confidence I can get along by myself.  I have a wife and two grown kids and a couple of friends.  I fear outliving my wife and just not being able to cope.  It is such a scary feeling.  I have to distract once up by exercising, working or getting on the computer.  I don't know if this is the new me after the drugs or just fears I have of getting older and being alone later in life.  Very tough to deal with.  I am doing some counseling and learning to live in the moment rather than letting my mind go into the future.

 

Could this all be related to using these mind altering drugs.  Who knows.  Love to hear some opinions from others.

[[Ma...]]

If im away from my family very long I get freaked out when we reunite. It's like I don't recognize them at all. It's so weird.

 

I hope you get over this soon. Mine got better and it came back again.

[[An...]]

@[ca...]

 

@garton: I, too, have these early morning episodes of worrying, when there's literally nothing to do but worry.  I worry about my career, my finances, how I'm going to save enough money, how I'm going to eat and pay rent.

 

I do recall being so prone to worrying from a very young age, though: every time I changed schools, for as long as I can remember, I would spend the previous night worrying about how I'd cope, make new friends, etc.  Could be a personality issue.

[[ga...]]

Andrey...I have the same issues.  I have a good life but I am always dealing with some OCD, worry and anxiety about future events that will be difficult to deal with.  Why can't I stay in the moment and enjoy the life I have rather than getting tied up in knots in the early morning hours?

[[Be...]]

I think I have separation anxiety all the time.  I live alone and used to be ok with it until I got off these pills and am homebound now.  I need to talk to my one male friend on the phone about once a day and he makes me feel better so I'm not so afraid.  I used to be able to go out and drive around and meet with friends, but haven't gone out socializing for almost two years now.  It makes my anxiety really bad now.  I'm going crazy being home alone all the time.  I wish I could snap out of this and be my old self again. 

[[An...]]

@[ga...]

 

It's possible that you have a form of OCD, because, like me, intrusive thoughts will frequently invade your head whether you want them to or not.  When I started eating nothing but instant noodles for a whole week because I was afraid I couldn't get a job and make rent (and, of course, I turned out to have excess cash afterward), that was when I realized that all my worrying was actually jeopardizing my life.  Not only was I worrying for nothing, I was harming myself by acting on non-existent fears.  That was OCD, plain and simple.

 

I don't quite know how to stop it, but I do suggest: don't let it turn into a routine.  Do something else during the hours where you realize you're especially prone to worrying, don't let worrying become a habit.

[[ga...]]

Andrey...It seems that over the last few moths it has become a habit in the early morning hours.  Worrying about "what if's" is tedious and a waste of time and energy.  The common sense portion of my brain tells me that.  how to break this is the tough part.  Just keep telling myself that this is ridiculous is all I can do.  I also agree that getting up and distracting in those early morning hours would help.  For some reason I just don't feel comfortable doing that at 4 a.m. 

 

Thanks for your input.  Appreciate it!

[[ca...]]

Yes its a involuntary fear about nothing and cant do anything but tell myself everything is fine.  It gets exhausting.  Just an update,  good news is that i am hanging in here.  They have left and wont be back till 8th.  I have to say the anticipatory anxiety is the worst part of this whole ordeal.  Now im just left with an underlying anxiety that i keep at bay by distracting.  Im actually proud of myself!!!  To anyone who is or will go through this, know that its never as bad as we make it in our heads.  As usual lol.