New to Benzo Buddies!

[[Ml...]]

Hi,

 

I have taken benzos on and off for over 30 years. It was first prescribed to me for panic disorder in my late 20s. I was able to come off it fairly easily early on and even spent years being totally benzo free. However I would go back to it during times of great stress/losses and the anxiety that would accompany them. Some 12 years ago I discovered the Ashton Method and tapered by switching from Xanax to Valium. It was a gradual and somewhat uncomfortable process the first time but not horrible. I went back to Xanax again about 4 years ago for 1 year and again used the Ashton method to taper from Valium. That was not as easy. I had considerable anxiety, depression and a lot of fatigue, especially after the taper. However after a year I felt normal and my symptoms were gone. Then, I would take Xanax only to fly or sporadically, in retrospect, certainly a foolish idea. After another major time of severe stress I again started taking Xanax in January 2014. By summer I was up to 2 mgs. per day and decided to start another taper with the crossover to Valium. I found an MD who would cooperate with me through the process. I know it seems incredible that I would go back to Xanax after suffering through repeated withdrawals but it shows the seductiveness of the drug with which I have had a love/hate relationship for many years. I never abused it in the sense of looking to get really high, taking large doses, etc. Last Sept I started another taper and, God willing, my last one off of this pernicious drug. Again I am using the Ashton method. I started by gradually doing a crossover from 2 mgs of Xanax per day to 20 mgs of Valium. At first it wasn't too bad. I felt pretty normal. However when I got down to under 10 mgs. the process has become much more difficult. I cut about 10 % of my dose per week. Right now I am at 5 mgs. of Valium per day. I am really suffering this time. I have incredible fatigue. I wake up tired and can only accomplish so much each day..maybe 4-6 hrs where I can be at all productive. Then I am exhausted again. I wake up exhausted. I also have horrendous joint pain in my knees, hips and one elbow. It is very debilitating. I plan to see an acupuncturist to help with this pain. Gratefully I sleep decently and have not experienced excessive anxiety. The fatigue and pain are the worst. Have others here experienced this bone tired, Chronic Fatigue syndrome type of fatigue and feel fluish with body muscle aches and pain?  am hoping to complete the taper by spring. For me the taper gets increasingly difficult as the dose gets lower and I may have to cut even more slowly. Have any of you suffered from this fatigue during your taper as well as excruciating joint, muscle pain? Thanks for allowing me to share here. I look forward to your responses.

 

Mlle Butterfly

[[me...]]

Hello MlleButterfly50.  Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us!  Repeated withdrawals from benzos can bring about "kindling," which means that each successive withdrawal is often worse than the last.  I experienced this, with three withdrawals from Xanax over 10 years, so I understand what you're going through.  Fatigue is just one of the many symptoms that can appear, but these symptoms are all temporary and will disappear in time as you heal.  Here are a few links you may find useful:

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper).

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

 

 

[[De...]]

Hello MlleButterfly50,

 

Welcome to the forum from me too 

 

I'm sorry to hear you are suffering so much, as Megan said repeated withdrawals can be more difficult plus the lower doses can be much more challenging for many members, I know they were for me and many of us need to slow down our taper rates at this stage to ensure that we keep the withdrawal effects minimised. It sounds like you might be tapering a bit quickly, a 10% reduction every week is rather fast, particularly at this stage, you may fare better by slowing down that rate here and maybe cut fortnightly instead of weekly, Dr Ashton's taper rate is notoriously too fast at the lower doses. Have you thought about titration which involves crushing the pill and mixing with fluid, usually milk, to make a suspension. This way tiny cuts can be made to the daily dosage so helping to keep the withdrawal effects more bearable. Valium is available in liquid form also, this might be another option for you for ease of small cuts.

 

The dreadful fatigue you are experiencing is pretty commonplace in withdrawal. There were times when I was tapering, particularly towards the end, when I had very little energy, it was an effort some days to climb one flight of stairs and I know many other members have experienced this. The muscle pain is also very very common. Benzos are muscle relaxants so when the drug is withdrawn the muscles "complain" at having to work for themselves. I found epsom salt baths were effective at relieving the joint pain. The flu symptom is also common, we refer to it as benzo flu, all of the symptoms of the flu can be experienced apart from a high temperature, this is how we define benzo flu from normal flu.

 

You'll be given plenty of support here. I'm glad you found us and I wish you success with the taper.

 

Debbie

[[Fr...]]

Hello, Miss Butterfly,

 

Sorry to have to welcome you here, but glad you are.  I'm a long-term Xanax user, too. The drug worked when I really needed it. The bad part is that you need more to hold the same comfort level and that's not sustainable. You clearly knew this and withdrew more than once, rather than go up. Life is a learning process and learn we will!  Good luck.  Yes, by all means post a signature as I find these help me relate to people better and understand their journey.

 

 

[[Di...]]

Hi Mlle Butterfly

 

Everyone has given you some good information, but I will particularly endorse what Deborah has said about doing a titration/daily taper. As others have said, when you do numerous benzo tapers you can "kindle" and this mean each taper can get harder and harder.

 

Considering that you are now down to a lower dose now, I would suggest you give a daily taper a try. I started my benzo tapering journey from 5mg valium, and I did my whole taper as a daily liquid taper. This basically means instead of making a larger one-off cut (eg 0.5mg or 1mg) you break that cut up into tiny daily cuts. I know it probably sounds complicated, and fiddly, but it really isn't. You use a liquid and this makes doing those tiny cuts very easy. This method seems to work really well for a lot of people, especially those on the lower doses of valium, because our bodies seem to adapt much better to these tiny cuts.

 

If you think this method might work for you, you can have a read of the links I have in my signature below. This is the method I followed, but there are other ways as well. If you have any questions at all, you can post them on either of those threads.

 

[[Ml...]]

Thank you for your warm welcome messages and encouraging support!!  I appreciate the suggestions about slowing down the tapering and even considering a liquid daily titration. I am going to slow it down now. I am now at 4.5 mg Valium per day which I break into two doses daily because it feels right for me to do it this way. I am still tired but not as much as I was 2 weeks ago. My knee, hip, back and overall joint pain waxes and wanes but is a bit better right now too. I started acupuncture treatment and I'm going to give it a course of six treatments to see if and how much it helps. I wake up feeling very anxious but I know it's all about the w/d. I know I just have to go through this one day at a time and do the best I can. I know I need to be gentle with myself. I find myself being hypersensitive and emotional and I can't tolerate much stress. I'm glad to be here!