4 and half month out, feeling insane and really bad

[[th...]]

Hello buddies,

 

It has been rough 4 and a half months. Some symptoms are changing others are getting worse. I am afraid, i try to calm myself reading posts here, but still it is frightening as hell.

 

What I am experiencing now is as follows:

 

- Paranoia - One week ago i was travelling to my hometown to meet my parents. I called friends to meet with and i thought they are thinking of something bad to do to me, to make me miserable. I knew it was paranoia and i was trying to calm myself down that it will pass. Eventually later, when i met them I relaxed because nothing of what i thought came true.

- Disturbed sleeping - the last couple of days i am waking alot during the nights, but what troubles me is that it is too hard to wake up. It is like i am in dreaming state the most time of the morning. My mind is drifting from one state to another, like trying to figure what what self to take form of. Also i have very frightening sensations waking up in the night, nothing i have experienced before.

- Memory disturbance - what i felt like, what i was like last week, or last month is all foggy. Still trying hard i can remember.

- Euphoria - last night i had that. It felt weird and not normal.

- It is like my self can't find what form to take. I am switching alot from confident to nonconfident person but in drastically noticable way. Like i know that something is happening but i cant control it.

 

Bottom line - I am scared.I feel going crazy and losing grip with reality. The funny part is that I may feel dreadful but people are telling my i act quite normal. I do not know if this will pass and i will feel good anymore. I am afraid of going worse to the point of no return. Still 4 months is obviously not enough to recover from benzos .

[[be...]]

I know firsthand how you feel about everyone thinking you look normal. In early withdrawal I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I was going insane, yet everyone thought I looked normal. I found one of the difficult things about withdrawal was that the symptoms are not tangible. Everything looks ok from the outside, but no one can see in. Stopping cold turkey can produce some pretty severe symptoms, and I think that is what is happening to you. As awful as you feel these horrible feelings are only a temporary state. I went through a horrific cold turkey withdrawal. All my symptoms were mental...mentally excruciating. I am one year out and finally healed. However, if someone would have told me I would heal a year ago I never would have believed it. There will be a time when this is behind you.

[[th...]]

Thank you, thank you alot. I really would not know what i would do if there was not a website like this. I am greatly happy that you have recovered. That is what keep plenty of the people here going. The success stories and people like you still here suporting us. Be well and happy holidays.

[[Ya...]]

Hi Buddy,

 

I too took my last dose 4 and a half month back and feeling exactly the same what you are feeling... :/...

 

Its weird but after reading your post I am feeling quite relaxed as I am not the only person who is feeling these things after 4 and a half months...

[[th...]]

Hi Yasar,

 

I am feeling better also, after reading i am not alone. Symptoms are changing fast with me. And all the time it feels alwful, and i am tinking that the last symtpom was better than the current. The truth is that they are all dreadful, alwful and bad. I hope and pray that at the end everything will come back to normal.

 

 

[Guest [Or...]]

Hey thescamp,

 

At 4.5 months off I was so, so, SO effin bad. Then I had some relief. Then got bad again, then MAJOR relief last Saturday. Now in another epic wave before 5 months off. You're gonna make it. You're gonna be fine. It does get better. Just ride the waves into the windows. We are so close to the turning point now. Just a few more weeks.