Oh, you again BZD addiction...

[[te...]]

I had a bad BZD addiction in 2007 in addition to alcohol. Ended up in a week rehab, they did a good job of getting me off it. Mostly, I was due to quit the alcohol, that was the worst.

 

Well, I had another stint in 2011, I had been previously taking Lunesta for a year (and yeah that is no better), but the needed dose was getting higher and higher, so I reached out to other sources "online". One day I got something in the mail that was not Lunesta, and I took it and freaked ("I had relapsed!" I said). So I figured well, I done it. And so I went and found the right docs and started on a new campaign for BZD's of various kinds (all) and in addition to docs visited the sites and was continually on the quest for more, more, more. Anything I could get my hands on hardcore between 2011-12. I did get legit scripts in that time, and it was managed for a bit in an honest way-- though, I honestly can't remember much from that time period.

 

My most recent big event (late 2013) was when all my BZD scripts were transferred into one Xanax script and that was a disaster, and I had a grand mal seizure from running out + too much Wellbutrin+ and a virus combined. Though I know it was the running out of Xanax that was the real kicker.

 

Since then in Nov of 13, I have been great. I had tried almost every psych drug for anxiety depression, but they don't fit me, so they weren't on the table. I did have success this year with just Valproic Acid + Inderal (beta blocker). And things were good this year, until I started insomnia over the summer, gave in, and ordered some Zoplicone (Lunesta). I just loved that stuff at first, but took it as early as 6pm for a stress release from work, all the way until bed. Thats been going on about 3 months now. Very high doses (30-40mg), and I feel the burn during the day, the depression is setting in now all the time during the day, and it hit me this weekend when I couldn't function at a social gathering and only want to be home with my pill. Meaning I started crying realizing that I had, as always taken it too far and needed to get off this ride before it got worse.

 

So even though I ordered some more couple days ago (and it won't get here in time of me running out), the shock settled in and I realized where this is going. "At least it's not Xanax, its not likely I'll have a seizure.." etc. But I would like to start putting into motion a conversion plan using Ashton and need to find a doc who takes Medicaid and can help with that. Though I am slightly concerned about going to Valium, I can't remember how it affected me, my mom almost noticed I was on it. Etc. And its a "true" BZD, not like my sleeping pills (LOL). Who am I fooling. I am taking the Zoplicone for the same anxiety reduction (well, also insomnia), and yeah I hate the blackout texts, and general milase but it does bring the anxiety down. But as of today, the side effects are too much. Not even a sex drive for weeks. Yeah, reality time and lets see what I can do about this while I am still of sane mind. I am tempted by the "rapid detox" thing going round, and I have to find a good psych now. I can't tell my mother as of right now, she has been through enough with having to care for me after the seizure. That's going to be tough. Best blessings to anyone reading this.

[Guest [Mi...]]

Hi, teadrinkaz1.

 

Welcome to benzobuddies! 

 

Sounds like you've got quite a history with both Z drugs (Lunesta) and benzos. But I'm glad you're ready to come off once and for all.

 

A good resource about benzodiazepines is the Ashton Manual. Here is a link to the manual: Professor Ashtons Manual  It’s great for learning about these meds and for taper plans. Ashton recommends reducing between 5 - 10% every 10/14 days.

 

You'll find a great community of people here who will support and encourage you. Feel free to check out the forum and to post to any of the dedicated boards.

 

In addition to the Ashton Manual, here are some other resources:

 

For tapering advice, post here: General Taper Plans

 

For support with any symptoms you may have, post here: Withdrawal Support

 

Please add a signature (history of medication/doses etc). It will help members give you relevant advice. This link will show you how to Create a signature

 

Please let us know if you have any questions.

 

~ Mind