I'm convinced I have to die.

[Guest [Lu...]]

Yeah.

[Guest [Or...]]

*stabs*. Hmm...didn't work. Guess you aren't dying.

 

Seriously, though...You got me buddy. We've been accountibilibuddies since late September. Were gonna get through this. I've got your back as much as you've got mine. You don't HAVE to die. I know you really don't want to. Youre gonna be just fine.

[[dr...]]

I've had these thoughts a lot lately.  I'm convinced I'm going to drop dead of a heart attack when I have chest pain in a wave.  It's the natural order of this bullshit.  I will type the obligatory "hang in there" phrase now. 

[[bo...]]

Everyone has to die. But you are young and presumably in good shape so you certainly aren't going to die from this. I on the other hand am old  with cardiomyopathy and arrythmias. So I might. But what can I do? Im so pissed at myself for getting myself in this predicament but here I am. My life is pretty miserable and I suspect it may get worse. Oh well.

[[Ro...]]

Luigithepug, this is nothing new, I have the same feeling every day for the last 6 months. So, just think about the people who loves you and needs you... you know that this is temporal and in time you we will laugh of this crap.

[Guest [Lu...]]

Hey guys, thanks. I don't think I'm going to die from this....I'm convinced it will never end and I need to die to escape it.

[Guest [Lu...]]

Luigithepug, this is nothing new, I have the same feeling every day for the last 6 months. So, just think about the people who loves you and needs you... you know that this is temporal and in time you we will laugh of this crap.

 

You get it, Roberto! Lol. And thank you, I know it's normal but I hate it so much.

[[bo...]]

Hey guys, thanks. I don't think I'm going to die from this....I'm convinced it will never end and I need to die to escape it.

 

Oh in that case that's perfectly reasonable. Jk 

[[pe...]]

Luigi,

I have felt this way almost everyday for too many months to count. But, on many days in more recent weeks the voices of doom have been a bit quieter and sometimes absolutely easy to ignore. There is a thread on bb and one of the mantras they use is - just stay alive. Because that's 'all' we have to do to see relief from our current situation. Let that be your goal - today I am going to just stay alive. It's gotten me through many hard moments.

 

Love,

Peace2

[Guest [Lu...]]

Luigi,

I have felt this way almost everyday for too many months to count. But, on many days in more recent weeks the voices of doom have been a bit quieter and sometimes absolutely easy to ignore. There is a thread on bb and one of the mantras they use is - just stay alive. Because that's 'all' we have to do to see relief from our current situation. Let that be your goal - today I am going to just stay alive. It's gotten me through many hard moments.

 

Love,

Peace2

 

Thank you Peace. I like Saga's version of it, "Just Don't Die". 

[[pe...]]

That's the one! Just don't die! Wiser words were never spoken.

 

[[pa...]]

Who would take care of your pug?  Nobody's gonna take care of him and love him as much as you, so I guess you just have to stay alive! 

[Guest [Lu...]]

Who would take care of your pug?  Nobody's gonna take care of him and love him as much as you, so I guess you just have to stay alive! 

 

Haha, he actually likes my Dad a lot more than me but I get your point, PB. Thanks. I'll just keep on truckin.

[[An...]]

I've heard this line before: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.  It's like going fishing using a machine gun.

[[Co...]]

I've been asking God to take me in my sleep everyday for 6 weeks straight. I'm still here though and still miserable. You're not alone.

[[ja...]]

Die ... because life is beautiful 

 

You can have periods blacks, but we must strive to think positive and distracted as you like ...

 

When will (and will for sure ... even tomorrow) we will laugh over your thoughts 

 

Strength and courage, you are not alone 

[[Ch...]]

There are people here who i have never seen before...i guess everyone keeps on going. It does end one day and life comes back.

[[14...]]

Everyone has to die. But you are young and presumably in good shape so you certainly aren't going to die from this. I on the other hand am old  with cardiomyopathy and arrythmias. So I might. But what can I do? Im so pissed at myself for getting myself in this predicament but here I am. My life is pretty miserable and I suspect it may get worse. Oh well.

Bobo, did you develop your heart problems once tapering off the benzos?  I had horrible breathing problems going cold turkey and within a year was diagnosed with sinoatrial arrhythmia and have had a pacemaker since August 2014. I'm 48 with no family history of heart disease. Just curious.  14

[[Be...]]

I've been asking God to take me in my sleep everyday for 6 weeks straight. I'm still here though and still miserable. You're not alone.

 

Cool35, sorry you're feeling so badly.  ditto, to what you've written here.  This is the worst hell anyone can go through. 

[[pr...]]

i was just thinking today that i can't really remember the last time i felt suidical. it does pass and you will get better.

[[bo...]]

Everyone has to die. But you are young and presumably in good shape so you certainly aren't going to die from this. I on the other hand am old  with cardiomyopathy and arrythmias. So I might. But what can I do? Im so pissed at myself for getting myself in this predicament but here I am. My life is pretty miserable and I suspect it may get worse. Oh well.

Bobo, did you develop your heart problems once tapering off the benzos?  I had horrible breathing problems going cold turkey and within a year was diagnosed with sinoatrial arrhythmia and have had a pacemaker since August 2014. I'm 48 with no family history of heart disease. Just curious.  14

 

I have quit alcohol ct and gone off benzos a few times. During all that time I had symptoms including breathlessness but nothing like this time.  However ultimately I was diagnosed with cardiomyopathy an enlarged heart and Lbbb.  I never tied it to the wds but it is possible. My docs call it idiopathic meaning they can't identify a cause. Despite all this I took benzos again and my docs still prescribed them. Actually they helped my heart symptoms until I once again tried to come off again. My wd this time is much much worse and I do fear I may not survive it.

[[Ch...]]

I'm old, too, but my heart's okay.  I had all the symptoms of a heart attack, but the cardiac eval said my heart's fine.

Don't die, you guys.  It gets sooooo much better.  I had my I-want-to-die times, too.

 

 

[[Cr...]]

I no longer think I'm going to die, although I wish I would....My new fear is that I'm stuck like this, or get worse and be stuck like that without the ability to die. Hang in there Luigi!

[[Be...]]

LBBB, left bundle branch block.  Interesting.  Electrical problems with the heart?  Did you have left-sided benzo w/d symptoms?  Wonder if there is a connection? 

[[bo...]]

LBBB, left bundle branch block.  Interesting.  Electtime of my problems with the heart?  Did you have left-sided benzo w/d symptoms?  Wonder if there is a connection?

 

I had heart failure symtoms not really specific to one side of my heart. My heart was also structurally changed. That was around the time of my last wd. I didn't tie then together. I haven't fully withdrawn yet this time. I am scared about it because i can alreasy tell it is going to be worse. Ialso have structural issues and strength issues with my heart.