Haven't purposefully started another taper yet

[[Uh...]]

I'm supposed to take 4mg/day Xanax; and I've been on benzos since 2007 for panic attacks, but that turned out to be hyperthyroidism (we didn't find out until last year). Right now I'm waiting 6 days for a refill with 11 pills instead of 22 pills (24, but assuming I'd have taken some by now), so at best I've got 2mg/day, and I'll still come up short (pharmacy's closed on 1/1). It was worse than that, but the pharmacist gave me 4 this morning to help tide me over to next Friday, and that was a true Godsend.

 

Last year, I could get by on half a mg a day (but I was also on 3mg/day Xanax and a huge dose of thyroid blocker, which keeps you sleepy and super calm). But for all intents and purposes, I'm out early this month, and not for the first time this year, and I'm sick of that.

 

My sister was boosting some from my bottle; it took careful logging and counting to figure that out, and now she's not talking to anyone in the area (I wasn't the only one she'd regularly "visit"; my aunt has tons of missing Percocets, for example; it's all so sad, I almost wish I'd never figured it out). It's plausible my sister was taking some last year, too, but the bottom line is, if the doctor's response to 3mg/day not being enough was to add a pill, I sort of think that would be his response this year, too.

 

I know they'll stop giving me 1mg pills, and I'd start getting 2mg pills, then bars. I know this, because I've seen it: perfectly normal people who show you their bottles of Xanax and they're taking TONS of it. Legally. Imagine taking even just 10mg/day, and needing to keep up with hundreds of milligrams a month. Feeling great guilt if someone has been "borrowing" from you for over a year, and you realize you've just helped addict them further. Someone you love. It sucks. Plus, I see this behavior, and I don't want that to be me one day.

 

Someone suggested I sign up here for better tips getting through withdrawals (I was trying to "potentiate" with Benedryl, as per my old psychiatrist, and learned that could make matters worse!). And maybe get a taper plan that works with only Xanax (since my doc hates Valium and won't prescribe them). One really serious problem is, my doc doesn't want me to taper off: he thinks I need the Xanax for life. And that I can control it. He and I are at odds: I know plenty of other hyperthyroid people in my shoes ("clinical remission") who don't take anything but natural stuff and beta blockers (for the high heart rate) and usually some small amount of thyroid blocker. And this year alone, I've gotten off Vicodin no probs (naturally, through PT), got my muscles in better shape (they had atrophied after the weight loss), and no Ambiens (I take melatonin). I really think I can start to taper off Xanax, or at least, if I could get my Xanax use down to 1mg a day, I'd be pretty good with that. I think if I could get down to the lowest amount possible, safely, maybe another doc would be willing to help me switch to Valium and taper off entirely. That's sort of my goal. If I fail at any point, I tell my thyroid doctor, take the heat from my regular doctor, but I think I'm ULTIMATELY responsible for what goes in my mouth. I'm not going to blame someone else when the information on it's freely available.

[[me...]]

Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us!  I was also a long-term Xanax user (13 years) at about the same dosage you're on.  Often long-term users experience tolerance withdrawal, which is when the prescribed dose no longer works as before.  This can happen over and over even after one's dosage is increased, and it's why many decide to get off once and for all.  I experienced tolerance, and would often take extra and run out of pills before the end of the month.  As you know, this can be problematic in a lot of ways.  We generally recommend a taper rate of about 5-10% every 10-14 days, though individual rates vary.  Here are a few links you may find useful:

 

General Taper Plans

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper).

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

 

 

[[be...]]

welcome   I am sorry that you found your sister stealing from you. It sounds like you are ready to taper off benzodiazepines. My advice would be to come up with a slow sensible taper. This is no race, and you have been on them for some time. If you doctor won't help you taper it sounds like you are smart enough to do your own taper. This is a great place for support and resources. We also have many great members. Their collective wisdom is enormous. We have other members who have gotten off large doses, including myself.

[[Uh...]]

Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us!  I was also a long-term Xanax user (13 years) at about the same dosage you're on.  Often long-term users experience tolerance withdrawal, which is when the prescribed dose no longer works as before.  This can happen over and over even after one's dosage is increased, and it's why many decide to get off once and for all.  I experienced tolerance, and would often take extra and run out of pills before the end of the month.  As you know, this can be problematic in a lot of ways.  We generally recommend a taper rate of about 5-10% every 10-14 days, though individual rates vary.

 

Really? Man, sometimes I feel like I'll never be off of this stuff, for real. Maybe it's the thyroid thing, but from 2008 with even a little Ativan, I lived that tolerance withdrawal stuff. I've been battling doctors for years. I don't know if it's a regional thing, but here, it seems like everyone's on Xanax or Ativan (Klonipins are big, too). And they're happy. I feel like a wet rag if I mention how much I hate being attached to a pill like that. And nobody talks about tapering.  :'(

 

My first pDoc (didn't finish the appointment as he immediately wanted to increase my Ativan), he rapidly told me that only addicts keep count, so don't count. That seemed to be a "rule", so I stopped "counting" early. If I ran out, who knew, because I was on early refills (and didn't even know it: if I ran out, I just picked up some more. Nobody cared).

 

But where I said I was sorry we caught my sister, I'm really not. She would have just kept doing it, Xanax and Klonipins probably being the least of her issues (learned she'd done PCP! Who does PCP?! EVER?)

 

Anyway, because I didn't count until last month, and even then I "readjusted" the number (marking big changes with red), I really don't even know what my actual intake has been until very recently. (And with no support groups here, you can't talk about these things; nobody talks about anything here except how much more their benzo was increased.)

 

Gotta admit, I'm terrified. My doc has told me for so long that if I stop the Xanax, "dirt nap". I have children and a husband; that's terrifying. I feel like I live in that movie, "Deliverance", where you're stuck in a place where everyone's off-kilter. But I really, really never want to live through another withdrawals again. I got some good advice from someone who pointed me here, but for the first time, I actually have diarrhea. (Because I was on Vicodin for so long, C was usually an issue; never D.) And I've taken 2 Xanax today. I'm withdrawing even though I have had 2 Xanax. It's crazy! Yeah, I'm ready. I know it'll only GET WORSE. (I need to make that my mantra!)

[[Uh...]]

Darnit.

 

Okay, I'm still going to taper. But I figured out why the 2mg isn't helping, when usually a half mg/day can get me through. Truth is, 4mg wouldn't get me through. I have the flu. I was already sick this season so I didn't think about it, but tonight I clearly have a fever, muscle aches, and very sore throat, plus nausea and D (and I NEVER get D).

 

I'm sorry. This happens when I get flu, where my meds seem to stop working, and I never realize I'm "sick" until I start getting the painful muscle aches and fever. (Even then, you wonder if it's withdrawals because you're in pain and not thinking too clearly). I think endocrinologist said thyroid kicks up even with meds, and basically burns up your meds before they get into your system. Domino effect. And it just doesn't do much good to take anything but broth. "BRAT diet" I think it was called, with bread and broth; and try to sleep. I'll call thyroid people in the morning. Now I just have to hope I'm within Tamiflu range (which is usually "never", too).

 

Still dedicated to tapering off Xanax, but I'll probably be offline a few days.

[[De...]]

Hello XanaxGirl,

 

I too would like to welcome you to the forum 

 

Thank you for the update.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you have a flu virus, many members notice a marked increase with symptoms when they contract a virus. It makes sense to wait until you're feeling better before beginning the taper. I hope you feel better soon.

 

Here's an explanation I came across for why we notice a symptom increase when we're unwell :

 

Quote

 

Viruses

 

When in recovery from benzodiazepines commonly reported is symptoms of benzo withdrawal increased during a bout of the flu or a bad cold. Strange as it sounds there does seem to be a link as so many people seem to experience this. Often a simple explaination can reassure people why they are feeling worse so I will try to put forward a theory.

 

The immune system does interact with the brain by releasing chemicals known as cytokines which make you feel headachey and sleepy and fatigued and reducing your appetite by interacting with cytokine receptors in the brain and also throughout the body. It is the body's way of telling you that you are ill and you need to rest. There are also parts of the brain activated during an infection e.g. pituitary gland secreting hormones during an infection. It may be this chain of events which causes benzo symptom increase during a flu or bad viral infection.

 

The good news is a virus is temporary and so is the symptom increase so if you find yourself under the blankets with a flu and your benzo symptoms increased rest assured it is most likely just because you have a virus and not that you are 'going back to square 1'. You will start feeling better within a few days to a few weeks. I have not yet seen any medical studies of this increase in symptoms of withdrawal during a flu or virus infection. However I felt it worth mentioning because so many people give anecdotal reports of this symptomatology increase during times of illness.

 

http://www.bcnc.org.uk/drugs.html

 

 

Debbie

[[ba...]]

hi xanaxGirl,

 

I been coming here for a lil over a year, i found great support and encouragement to quit xanax when i tapered to a low 0.0625 dose 9/14 was when i quit xanax. i strongly suggest to taper smaller than this  since im still feeling withdrawals & tinnittus . the withdrawals and tinnittus go away some from exercise & activating , when i felt my worst that was the time to exercise at first i walked for 5 minutes on treadmll i had to have my eyes closed when i walked 1/4 - 1/2 mile after 1/4 of a mile i felt alot better nearly all of my withdrawals were gone.

i still carry my xanax bottle in my pocket or purse "just in case" it gives me a peace of mind having it with me when i go out and i dont trust it here in the cabiniet when i saw some was missing a couple of years ago .

i have an idea.. maybe get a bottle of laxative and put them in your xanax prescription bottle so anyone trying to steal your xanax will pay dearly ! lol , im kidding about that one , if i was you i would have my meds hidden for awhile i had my xanax bottle hiden under a dark coffee cup upside down covering it

 

anyways nice to meet you i feel gratefull of staff and nice ppl here helping me ,  i think the same will come to you here too i wish you the best 2015 !

Katie (babyangel)