Benzo Withdrawal

[[gi...]]

Hi I am new to the forum and not sure what to do yet so I am sorry if I have posted in the wrong place.

 

I would like to share my troubles and get some advice if possible from someone. Here is my story.

 

I was prescribed lorazepam for a nasty phobia in 2004. I reached tolerance at 9mg a day and had to withdraw. My doctor did this way too fast and I had the most horrendous anxiety and depression. After 18 months of suffering and trying lots of other drugs (Lyrica, antipsychotics, antidepressants etc.) nothing was getting better.

 

My doctor then said I should reinstate to 30mg diazepam a day. This did nothing to help as I was already tolerant to the lorazepam and in fact I am now worse than ever. He then told me to taper off the diazepam 5mg a month and when I reached 7.5mg he told me I could just stop taking it.

 

I did what he said and now believe I am in a severe withdrawal but my doctor does not agree (he said there would be no withdrawal jumping at 7.5mg). I wake up every morning in a state of fear and terror and this does not ease off at all throughout the day. Is this normal?

 

The most distressing thing though is that my original phobia has returned and is worse than before I started the lorazepam in 2004. Does anyone know whether this worsening is part of the withdrawal syndrome and will it get better as withdrawal progresses. I have tried exposure therapy but it is not working at all.

 

I would appreciate any advice anyone can give me and I'm sorry if my post is too long. I'm desperate for hope. Many Thanks xx

 

[[be...]]

Hi gingging Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

Unfortunately stopping benzodiazepines too quickly can cause a variety of severe symptoms, especially if it is the second time around. It takes a while for the CNS to heal, but over time you will begin to feel better.

 

You might like to check out The Ashton Manual it is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field. 

 

Please feel free to post to any of the dedicated boards, we have a wonderful community of people here, who will give sound advice. Members have been through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal and are more than willing to share their experiences.

 

Members discuss their symptoms on the Post withdrawal recovery support.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again Welcome! 

 

benzos-R-cruel

[[Do...]]

Hello and welcome.

 

If im not mistaken that's a pretty huge dose.

9 mg?!your doc is stupid.

 

what is the phobia you have?

[[We...]]

9mg ativan ... that's equal to 90mg valium ... no wonder 30mg didn't do squat.

 

Doctors  ... the bad ones that is.

 

Here's a good article to better understand what has happened to your central nervous system

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

As long as you have a clean bill of health otherwise, it sounds like withdrawal.

[[gi...]]

Thanks to all that have replied to me. You are very kind

[[gi...]]

If anyone else would like to reply I would be grateful. Thanks

[[...]]

hey,

i red your post,

can you please edit your signature, so we can see what meds you took in the past, your dosages and time frame, whats your current cocktail of psych drugs and so on.....

 

i dry cut all psych clowns and tapered my cocktail alone,,,,,

in my opinion, this RIDE is between ME and ME!!!

so you really should dig deep within yourself to keep on moving !!!

 

its good to be under supervision of a good doctor, but its you ALONE who will walk the WALK!!!

 

welcome, nice to meet you!!!

keep updating us!

 

Love and liberation

eva

[[gi...]]

Hi if anyone can answer my questions I would be most grateful. Many Thanks

[[We...]]

Yes, fear and terror are some of the main symptoms of withdrawal. Also feeling overcome with panic to the point that you freeze in place, or your mind get's overwhelmed to the point of confusion. Many other symptoms people don't associate are things like, heavy limbs, eye floaters, ringing ears, muscle pain, numb areas, loss of appetite, bloating, major restlessness etc.

[[Cl...]]

Hi!

I agree with Westcoast, those symthoms are from withdrawal. My mornings are awful, anxiety, terror, Feel like unable to wake up, unable to go to the shower, then after shower everything seems to improve.

[Guest [ma...]]

Hi if anyone can answer my questions I would be most grateful. Many Thanks

 

Hi gingging, So sorry for what you are going through. Yes the terror and fear are quite common during w/d and recovery from benzos and especially for a c/t or a rapid taper. I had terror that began after being reinstated on Valium post a Klonopin c/t. The terror changed to fear with time and then faded away.

 

As far as your original phobia, everything is magnified while in w/d and while recovering. So it's not uncommon at all to have previous fears, phobias and anxieties worsen. However, it's also common that as you heal these phobias go away and/or dissipate significantly. The short answer is, how you are feeling now and what you are experiencing in not your new normal. You will heal from this but it's going to take time.

 

All the best, mandala 

 

 

[[ja...]]

Welcome,

 

Your doctor sounds like an idiot! I hope being on here with others who are in a similar position is helpful. Feel free to message me if you ever wanted to chat

 

 

 

[[ke...]]

Im so sorry u are going through this.  My story is identical to yours.  I took 8 mg of Ativan for 17 years.  Tapered of from 60 mg of valium in about a year.  I have very good news for you.  These benzo withdrawals go away.  The phobias are the worst.  Fear of everything.  I was afraid of my dog.  Not kidding.  you are not crazy.  I call these ridiculous thoughts I had....Benzo Brain....Stupid repetitive thoughts that make no sense.  Panic attacks, Tinnitus.  These are completely normal and they do go away in time.  Hang in there.  You are not in danger.

[[gi...]]

Hi what worries me is that the phobia was there before I started the lorazepam. However it was a lot more manageable than this it is a lot more severe now. I am scared it's going to stay this bad forever.

[[gi...]]

Is anyone there?

[[Do...]]

Well we can predict the future.

Make a maximum effort to get of the benzos first and find out how you feel.

 

Benzos don't cure anything.

 

 

[[gi...]]

Can anyone answer my question about the phobia? I'm really scared x

[[ME...]]

Hi what worries me is that the phobia was there before I started the lorazepam. However it was a lot more manageable than this it is a lot more severe now. I am scared it's going to stay this bad forever.

 

I never had phobia in childhood until about age 40.  However I developed fear to a person due to "terror management".  I think it is similar to phobia that it is not easy to cure.  And where can you find cure for that.  It is very strong fear, and something that I cannot simply ignore.  At the end I decided to find another place to work.  While working, I heard a voice that was similar, my mind, emotion or psyche responded to that "similar voice" with almost same degree of fear.  I am not sure, but i think phobia is not easy to cure. 

 

And some psychotropic drugs could intensity your response to danger or fear or stress.  They could also impair our "original" capability to response to stimuli.  From my experience, I am now easily affected by events that normally does not affect me before (I was taking Clonazepam and now at 0.125 mg).  If I call my daughter in cellphone, if she is not answering, I can be easily overwhelmed by fear, I know that she might just be busy, but thinking cannot overcome that powerful fear.

 

And I was only taking Clonazepam and yes Lyrica (Pregabalin-I stopped this already).

 

You have taken much more.

 

Read a lot more, about member's experience with multiple medications, C/T, reinstatement, kindling, etc.

 

There are members here that are having difficult times (for a long time now) and some quit professional doctor's services.

 

I cannot blame them but if I were in a very difficult situation I won't stop looking for other medical professionals that may have the answer and solution.

 

I have not read so much about kindling and polydrugging. 

 

I am quite sure that your new complaints are caused by psychotropic medicines.

 

 

 

 

[[ME...]]

Hi gingging, what particular phobia you have?

[[gi...]]

Hi it's a fear of electricity that I conquered once with exposure therapy. After being reinstated on diazepam and withdrawing from that it has returned again more severe and this time is not responding to therapy.

 

I have been told that maybe the high anxiety levels caused by the withdrawal could be preventing me from conquering this fear and to try therapy AFTER withdrawal.

 

What do you think?

[[ME...]]

Hi it's a fear of electricity that I conquered once with exposure therapy. After being reinstated on diazepam and withdrawing from that it has returned again more severe and this time is not responding to therapy.

 

I have been told that maybe the high anxiety levels caused by the withdrawal could be preventing me from conquering this fear and to try therapy AFTER withdrawal.

 

What do you think?

 

The sad thing is.......we cannot live without electricity.  You cannot remove it from your life.

 

But if your fear to electricity is your only "agony"........then..that's good for you.

 

Do you have other problems aside from phobia to electricity?

 

I am still taking 0.125 mg daily.  I do not know how far out all of the "alterations" to my brain will revert to original state.  My guess is....it is longer than 3 months (about where you are now).  It is very likely that the benzo effect is still affecting you in a big way.  My observation.......all of us respond differently to medicines(specially psychotropic)......and tapering, healing and disappearance of symptoms or side effects also differs. 

 

I have not tried Sertraline.  I have tried Citalopram and Mirtazapine before, and they amplify my response to sounds.  What I mean.......maybe Sertraline is doing it to you?  I am not sure.

 

I have experience withdrawal symptoms many times.  And many times I took rescue doses in 2x or 4x my normal dosage.  I am not telling that you should increase your dosage, because some more knowledgeable members here said that taking original dose or even higher dose may not be effective after a cold-turkey quitting (reinstatement will not work after 15 days I think).

 

I do not want to be careless on relating to you what I have learned. 

 

If the c/t is the cause of what you are having now, what could we do?  Or what should we do?

Psychiatrists should be able to answer that, what do you think?

 

As of now, I do not have answer to my highlighted question above.  I hope somebody will answer.

 

Or I hope this is not a major issue to you (not debilitating, only annoyance that is slowly improving).

 

About your fear of electricity....it is so easy to tell you that it is not dangerous because all power lines are insulated.  But it is not easy for the person having that phobia or fear.

 

Recovery from the previous drugs is one answer.  You may regain your previous level of response to fear.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ME...]]

I checked Sertraline.  It covers depression, MDD, OCD, PTSD, panic disorder, social phobia and maybe other phobias.

 

I think you are already at maximum daily dose.  You may read about it also.

 

I think it is a powerful drug.  But I have experienced that benzo side effects specially withdrawal symptoms cannot be masked easily by other AD drugs.

 

 

[[gi...]]

Hi

 

Yes I have lots of other symptoms. I wake each morning in a terrible state of terror and fear and this does not ease off at all as the day goes on.

 

I had this symptom whilst tapering and the fear of electricity came on a few months later.

 

I also have some physical symptoms but it is mostly fear. I just hope that withdrawal is heightening my fear of electric as it is much worse now than pre benzos, it was more manageable then. I would appreciate any hope.

[[ME...]]

Hi

 

Yes I have lots of other symptoms. I wake each morning in a terrible state of terror and fear and this does not ease off at all as the day goes on.

 

I had this symptom whilst tapering and the fear of electricity came on a few months later.

 

I also have some physical symptoms but it is mostly fear. I just hope that withdrawal is heightening my fear of electric as it is much worse now than pre benzos, it was more manageable then. I would appreciate any hope.

 

i already asked the forum about reinstatement, and this is one of the answer.....

 

They say after 2 weeks, it is not advisable to reinstate, reinstatement does not always work, sometimes its best to tough it out, we are all different. 

 

This is from Professor Ashtons Manual

 

Reinstatement after withdrawal?

 

Many benzodiazepine users who find themselves in this position have withdrawn too quickly; some have undergone 'cold turkey'. They think that if they go back on benzodiazepines and start over again on a slower schedule they will be more successful. Unfortunately, things are not so simple. For reasons that are not clear, (but perhaps because the original experience of withdrawal has already sensitised the nervous system and heightened the level of anxiety) the original benzodiazepine dose often does not work the second time round. Some may find that only a higher dose partially alleviates their symptoms, and then they still have to go through a long withdrawal process again, which again may not be symptom-free.

 

Magrita

 

BUT......another member add another reply.............

 

 

[[ME...]]

This is the next reply by another member.....

 

Somewhere else in the Ashton Manual it says that if you have failed to taper you can always try again. Like smokers some people need up to 8 or 9 tries before they manage the taper. Therefore i cannot understand your first reply.

 

So...reinstatement and another taper may or may not be successful.