I admit it, I'm afraid..

[[Je...]]

I'm afraid you guys are right and my problem is a severe tolerance to Xanax. 

 

I take .5 now and don't even feel it.  The anxiety never stops.    It slacks off in the evening.

 

There u have it, I'm afraid of going thru it.    If I don't, I'm going to die.  If I do, I may die.

 

Should I check myself inpatient and stay there until I can function better?  Even if it takes a year?

 

What do I do?   

[[rs...]]

Hey man it's because Xanax has a short half life. I feel you I've been awake for 3 days going crazy right now. Thinking about jumping back up a dose on my Valium.

 

Just push and if you can't push anymore do what you gotta do.

[[ch...]]

Aww, Jerry. I feel for you. Do what you have to do to get better.

[Guest [Or...]]

Just bite the bullet and just DO it. It sucks. I only took the damn things for 3 weeks and I suffer like someone who took them for years. Possible due to kindling.

 

In benzo withdrawal, the only way out is through. I'm 4 months out and I'm alive. Spoiler alert: You will be too. The anxiety sucks. The depression sucks. The unexplainable physical crap sucks. It all sucks. And it takes time.

 

If you didn't want to be off these meds for a reason you wouldnt have come to BenzoBuddies. If you wanna give up on your taper, I get that. If you wanna be med free, then everyone is here for ya.

[[be...]]

I agree with Orion. But I would suggest you don't go in-patient. If you say you might have to stay there for a year, then they would put you in a psych ward, not a detox center, because detox centers don't allow for this long of a stay. You would be pumped up with drugs like Haldol, and remain a babbling idiot for a year. By that time, you would be so out of your mind that you wouldn't even care or think about the drugs they want to give you. You'd just up taking them like a good little boy. Maybe it IS time to taper again, Jerry. I think once you'll be benzo free, you'll have a great mind set and not so far off from healing to be the real you!!!! <3 Bets

[[Je...]]

You guys don't understand how bad I feel.  I feel disconnected from the world, I can't focus on anything.    My IQ has dropped 40 points.  It's really bad and I'm just in tolerance.

[Guest [Or...]]

Dude. I totally understand how you feel.

 

A month ago I MAY have had MSG that set me off in the worst wave in my history of benzo WD. Severe confusion. Severe anxiety. I was having moments where I was disconnected from everything and couldn't connect. I couldn't breathe. Do you know how hard it is to focus on breathing when you feel like you are losing your mind?? It is HELL. This lasted 3 weeks at that consistency. I went nuts on the forum. Now I'm healing every day. Could be a good sign for me. I'm not getting my hopes up.

 

So dude. None of this, "Pity me. Its so hard" crap. Either pull up your pants, fasten your belt, grit your teeth and get through it or enjoy your benzo filled life. Everyone has it bad in some way or another. (Although I'm a little jealous of people with only physical issues...but that's just me. )

 

But at the end of the day, you gotta do what is right for you. But remember, benzos are a double edged sword. They may give you a life right now. But you MAY (Note: Only a chance) end up with dimentia down the road. As that starts to wear on you you will have wished you just endured it now instead of losing your mind later. Or you could be one of the people that never have issues, too. You never know.

 

But why wait to find out?

[[Do...]]

Trust me I know how you feel.

 

You aren't the only one going though hell on earth.

 

If you think benzos is causing this feeling for you.then start tapering.

 

 

[[Je...]]

 

You only think u know how badly I feel.  No one knows how bad someone else feels.  I get I'm not the only one suffering.  I get that u are suffering.

 

Trust me, if I could just pull up my pants and get on with it, I would.  I can barely dress myself.

 

 

Dude. I totally understand how you feel.

 

A month ago I MAY have had MSG that set me off in the worst wave in my history of benzo WD. Severe confusion. Severe anxiety. I was having moments where I was disconnected from everything and couldn't connect. I couldn't breathe. Do you know how hard it is to focus on breathing when you feel like you are losing your mind?? It is HELL. This lasted 3 weeks at that consistency. I went nuts on the forum. Now I'm healing every day. Could be a good sign for me. I'm not getting my hopes up.

 

So dude. None of this, "Pity me. Its so hard" crap. Either pull up your pants, fasten your belt, grit your teeth and get through it or enjoy your benzo filled life. Everyone has it bad in some way or another. (Although I'm a little jealous of people with only physical issues...but that's just me. )

 

But at the end of the day, you gotta do what is right for you. But remember, benzos are a double edged sword. They may give you a life right now. But you MAY (Note: Only a chance) end up with dimentia down the road. As that starts to wear on you you will have wished you just endured it now instead of losing your mind later. Or you could be one of the people that never have issues, too. You never know.

 

But why wait to find out?

[[Tr...]]

Jerry,

 

Maybe if we know a little more about what your feeling symptom wise.  You say it's bad.

 

Try

[[Fl...]]

I understand, Jerry.  I REALLY do.

 

Just wondering, is there anything in your life that seems to be an unresolvable problem and you can't see any way out and you just keep going over and over in your mind and never come to a solution you can live with?  I know Claire Weekes talked about this in her book "Hope and Help for your Nerves".  For me, this is a huge part of the reason why my anxiety got so bad that I wanted to just end it all.  I am working on a solution and hoping it will help get rid of some of my 24/7 anxiety and overwhelmed feeling.  I know I will always be anxious; it's definitely in my genes but I hope to get it to a liveable level.  I just feel overwhelmed getting out of bed in the morning and facing another day.  I usually feel better in the evenings and especially when I go to bed and the day is over and I can read a book and go to sleep (hopefully).  My appetite is terribly affected by my anxiety also.  Feel nauseated all the time and some days can barely eat but force myself.  How is your sleep and appetite?  Do you find the Christmas season just adds to the anxiety?

I always feel stressed out when I have to spend time with people.  I find all the talking and noise and everything just overwhelms me.  It is probably worse while tapering as the CNS is more sensitive and noise can make it worse.  I have always loved quiet.

I really feel for you.  This is such a tough thing to live with.  I'm always jealous of people who seem to be calm and happy and not stressed out or worried about every little thing.  Just feel we got handed a tough life.  I wonder how your brother is managing to do ok on such a high dose of benzos for such a long time.  You would think it would be making him sick after all these years.

Sorry for going on so long but I just empathize with you so much and feel your pain in every way.  I pray you and I find a solution that will enable us to live a decent rest of our lives.

❤️❤️😘

[Guest [Or...]]

 

You only think u know how badly I feel.  No one knows how bad someone else feels.  I get I'm not the only one suffering.  I get that u are suffering.

 

Trust me, if I could just pull up my pants and get on with it, I would.  I can barely dress myself.

 

 

Dude. I totally understand how you feel.

 

A month ago I MAY have had MSG that set me off in the worst wave in my history of benzo WD. Severe confusion. Severe anxiety. I was having moments where I was disconnected from everything and couldn't connect. I couldn't breathe. Do you know how hard it is to focus on breathing when you feel like you are losing your mind?? It is HELL. This lasted 3 weeks at that consistency. I went nuts on the forum. Now I'm healing every day. Could be a good sign for me. I'm not getting my hopes up.

 

So dude. None of this, "Pity me. Its so hard" crap. Either pull up your pants, fasten your belt, grit your teeth and get through it or enjoy your benzo filled life. Everyone has it bad in some way or another. (Although I'm a little jealous of people with only physical issues...but that's just me. )

 

But at the end of the day, you gotta do what is right for you. But remember, benzos are a double edged sword. They may give you a life right now. But you MAY (Note: Only a chance) end up with dimentia down the road. As that starts to wear on you you will have wished you just endured it now instead of losing your mind later. Or you could be one of the people that never have issues, too. You never know.

 

But why wait to find out?

 

It doesn't matter how bad you or I feel. The point I'm trying to make is everyone here is going through hell in one way or another. Your symptoms will not match mine. Its a very individual experience.

 

But I want a life free from benzos. I don't wanna be on drugs the rest of my life. What do YOU want, Jerry?

[[bo...]]

The truth jerry is that nobody really understands exactly how another person feels they just think they do.  Or they feel horrid for a short time then forget how much they whined about it and start lecturing again. Of course it is true you have to decide whether to stay on or come off. But don't feel badly about venting. And I'm sure your pants are right where they need to be.

[[Do...]]

If you can enter the internet and type your messages.you can surly dress your self.(physically wise anyway).

 

It doesn't matter if we know precisely how BAD you feel.

 

It's enough that we know 50% of what you feel.

 

any way,once again,if you think that the Xanax is causing you this pain..go to a doctor,or invite one to come to your house(if you cant go out) and ask him how to stop taking it.

 

But I have a feeling that its not just the benzos.

[[Je...]]

Yes, the fact that I'm addicted to Xanax and helpless to get off.  That in itself is making me crazy.

 

I understand, Jerry.  I REALLY do.

 

Just wondering, is there anything in your life that seems to be an unresolvable problem and you can't see any way out and you just keep going over and over in your mind and never come to a solution you can live with?  I know Claire Weekes talked about this in her book "Hope and Help for your Nerves".  For me, this is a huge part of the reason why my anxiety got so bad that I wanted to just end it all.  I am working on a solution and hoping it will help get rid of some of my 24/7 anxiety and overwhelmed feeling.  I know I will always be anxious; it's definitely in my genes but I hope to get it to a liveable level.  I just feel overwhelmed getting out of bed in the morning and facing another day.  I usually feel better in the evenings and especially when I go to bed and the day is over and I can read a book and go to sleep (hopefully).  My appetite is terribly affected by my anxiety also.  Feel nauseated all the time and some days can barely eat but force myself.  How is your sleep and appetite?  Do you find the Christmas season just adds to the anxiety?

I always feel stressed out when I have to spend time with people.  I find all the talking and noise and everything just overwhelms me.  It is probably worse while tapering as the CNS is more sensitive and noise can make it worse.  I have always loved quiet.

I really feel for you.  This is such a tough thing to live with.  I'm always jealous of people who seem to be calm and happy and not stressed out or worried about every little thing.  Just feel we got handed a tough life.  I wonder how your brother is managing to do ok on such a high dose of benzos for such a long time.  You would think it would be making him sick after all these years.

Sorry for going on so long but I just empathize with you so much and feel your pain in every way.  I pray you and I find a solution that will enable us to live a decent rest of our lives.

❤️❤️😘

[Guest [Or...]]

The truth jerry is that nobody really understands exactly how another person feels they just think they do.  Or they feel horrid for a short time then forget how much they whined about it and start lecturing again. Of course it is true you have to decide whether to stay on or come off. But don't feel badly about venting. And I'm sure your pants are right where they need to be.

 

...That better not be a reference to me there, Bobo. Cuz I do remember that hell I was in for the last month. But guess what? I'm still here. I survived. And now I'm healing every day and hopefully on my way out of benzo hell.

 

And its because I, "whined" that I got, "lectured" and pulled through. Tough love, Bobo. This isn't dreamland.

 

 

[Guest [ba...]]

The truth jerry is that nobody really understands exactly how another person feels they just think they do.  Or they feel horrid for a short time then forget how much they whined about it and start lecturing again. Of course it is true you have to decide whether to stay on or come off. But don't feel badly about venting. And I'm sure your pants are right where they need to be.

 

I agree completely.  Jerry - you have to do what feels right for you. 

[[Je...]]

If you can enter the internet and type your messages.you can surly dress your self.(physically wise anyway).

 

It doesn't matter if we know precisely how BAD you feel.

 

It's enough that we know 50% of what you feel.

 

any way,once again,if you think that the Xanax is causing you this pain..go to a doctor,or invite one to come to your house(if you cant go out) and ask him how to stop taking it.

 

But I have a feeling that its not just the benzos.

. What is it?

[[bo...]]

Orion. If the pants fit then wear them. But since you appreciate tough love , how is work going?  I assume youre getting out now and working and functioning in society. If not gee, pull up those pants and get out there what's stopping you?

[[Do...]]

Well it seems you have a history of mental problems.

Maybe its them getting worse.

Maybe it's other meds you are on(the anti d).

 

you can't know for sure unless you stop the Xanax.

[Guest [Or...]]

Oroon. If the pants fit then wear them.

 

They're a little too loose. Perhaps you could notch my belt for me?

[[Je...]]

True I have had depression a few times.  Thanks for the confidence builder.

[[bo...]]

Oroon. If the pants fit then wear them.

 

They're a little too loose. Perhaps you could notch my belt for me?

No. I want you to be ready if karma comes to bite you in the ass because you apparently didn't learn any empathy from your short-lived nasty spell.

[[Do...]]

True I have had depression a few times.  Thanks for the confidence builder.

 

Again,stop Xanax and find out if it was causing you all these symptoms.

 

 

[[Je...]]

True I have had depression a few times.  Thanks for the confidence builder.

 

Again,stop Xanax and find out if it was causing you all these symptoms.

Piece of cake, I'll get right on that.