Checking in. I need help, clarity and hope.

[[do...]]

I feel I have totally lost it. I went to a museum tonight with my friend. I was severely judging people, horrible thoughts, the work has a haze around it, like I am watching a movie if life and I am terrified and depressed inside and can't connect with anything. I don't know who I am anymore. I am really fragging scared.

 

I try and find some part of me I remember and it's not there.

 

The "s" word has passed through my mind a few times but I will not act on it for it is not an option.

 

This is hell and I can't find my way out.

 

Who am I? I ask myself.

 

Help

[[do...]]

Hi Dophins1

 

Sit tight. This will soon pass. The normal of before, and even some of before you stopped taking, will soon return. Just keep reminding yourself that it's only a temporary phase. In the meantime work on speeding to that finish line by focusing on a good diet and plenty of exercise. I wish you the best...

[[Be...]]

dolphin, this is the sad horrible truth about these poisons.  Many ppl. on this forum feel they've lost themselves and who they used to be.  It'll be ok. 

[[Sv...]]

So sorry you're feeling this way. I can empathize.

 

Do you have good supports right now around you?  If ur having thoughts of suicide you may want to talk to a professional, or at least have friends and family check in on you from time to time.

 

Please take a minute to write down a few telephone numbers on a piece of paper for any local crisis line you can reach out to in case you need to speak with someone ASAP. Have them ready, just to be safe. I know I've had to do this at various points in my withdrawal.

 

Keep fighting it!

[[do...]]

I do distract as best I can. I know I have asked before. But are there those who have felft they have gone insane? Can't figure out what to do with each day? Zero and I mean zero interest in anything. Just a ghost of a person?  Thoughts of just fading away, if you get my drift, passed throug my head. Like there is nothing to live for. All I have is a very very very faint sliver of hope. But that sliver or flames is almost out.

 

Anyone else been dealing with this? The pain and fear become so dark sometimes

[[do...]]

Not to worry ending my life is not an option.

[[Te...]]

Have you anyone who just aggravates the hell out of you? I have found that when my friend gets going away feelings, if I piss her off, those feelings...uhm...go away...at least for awhile. Unfortunately, i have to go away for awhile, too. It's painfully effective. So if you have a particular irritant, it might just irritate you back to...well...irritated. I read this, and it really does sound like bs, but it has worked for me with her 3 times, now.  mike

[[Co...]]

I do distract as best I can. I know I have asked before. But are there those who have felft they have gone insane? Can't figure out what to do with each day? Zero and I mean zero interest in anything. Just a ghost of a person?  Thoughts of just fading away, if you get my drift, passed throug my head. Like there is nothing to live for. All I have is a very very very faint sliver of hope. But that sliver or flames is almost out.

 

Anyone else been dealing with this? The pain and fear become so dark sometimes

 

Yep I've had this for the last 15.5 months. I just gave up and roll with it now. I have zero interest in anything. I have lost my identity as a human being.

[[hu...]]

Dolphins, do you think what you are having is derealization? This and the depression can come together sometimes and it's scary when it happens but it usually changes in intensity throughout the day. I've felt like going insane almost every day, especially when the dr/dp and pain get worse together I lose my mind.

 

 

[[Co...]]

I always forget that it's derealization. It's better when you can label it and say, ok that's what it is and will pass one day. Thx hurtbrain and hopefully that helps you dolphins

[[Sv...]]

I installed the game "game of war, fire age" on my iPad. It gives me a sense of purpose. Plus I can chat with people around the world if I want. It helps me.

[Guest [Lu...]]

Wear sunglasses indoors and distract. Literally the only way to tolerate dr imo

[[Sv...]]

The need for sunglasses will pass. I think I got rid of them in month 8

[[Lo...]]

I feel I have totally lost it. I went to a museum tonight with my friend. I was severely judging people, horrible thoughts, the work has a haze around it, like I am watching a movie if life and I am terrified and depressed inside and can't connect with anything. I don't know who I am anymore. I am really fragging scared.

 

I try and find some part of me I remember and it's not there.

 

The "s" word has passed through my mind a few times but I will not act on it for it is not an option.

 

This is hell and I can't find my way out.

 

Who am I? I ask myself.

 

Help

 

just remember you when start feeling better and those feelings will go away. just give yourself more time and you will see that the outcome will get more beautiful. just keep doing what your doing. big hug