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The Lesson of This

[We...]

By [We...]
in Benzo-free Celebrations (& Milestones)

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[We...]

[We...]

Posted
Posted

Going on a year of being benzo free. Woke up this morning with severe benzo symptoms. I guess it should be expected considering I am working 60 hours a week,in the process of closing on a house I am selling, packing, preparing to move my family, holidays, etc.

 

Just wanted to say that even though I wake up in a hell, that I am healed because I am not owned by this. I think my biggest lesson learned was to just let all of my expectations about healing go and to just move on with life.

 

When I realized that the real sickness was the way I was reacting to it all, I was healed, even though the benzo symptoms remained.

 

It's been about 11 months now since I jumped and I am going on 8 months of working out now. I have ridden my bicycle 1000 miles and have consistently lifted weights for 6 months. All of this whike having benzo symptoms. There are days when I get off my bike and can barely walk into the house due to weak legs and the world spinning. I wake up not knowing who I am and at work I can't remember the code wrote the day before. None of this phases me anymore. I am not owned by it. That's the lesson learned for me. It's not really about changing what is happening, but changing how I react to it.

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[Lo...]

[Lo...]

Posted
Posted
right on...gonna try to follow by this too. i need to move on from that life i once had and am going through. know i will never be that person again. this is the new me. love myself no matter what. I'm ready to move on. fuck my anxiety and depression. it means nothing to me. i am who i am. time to love myself and the people around me. this is a beautiful day for us all. it does not have a hold on me anymore. I'm done. thank you for the reminder. have a beautiful day.
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[La...]

[La...]

Posted
Posted

Going on a year of being benzo free. Woke up this morning with severe benzo symptoms. I guess it should be expected considering I am working 60 hours a week,in the process of closing on a house I am selling, packing, preparing to move my family, holidays, etc.

 

Just wanted to say that even though I wake up in a hell, that I am healed because I am not owned by this. I think my biggest lesson learned was to just let all of my expectations about healing go and to just move on with life.

 

When I realized that the real sickness was the way I was reacting to it all, I was healed, even though the benzo symptoms remained.

 

It's been about 11 months now since I jumped and I am going on 8 months of working out now. I have ridden my bicycle 1000 miles and have consistently lifted weights for 6 months. All of this whike having benzo symptoms. There are days when I get off my bike and can barely walk into the house due to weak legs and the world spinning. I wake up not knowing who I am and at work I can't remember the code wrote the day before. None of this phases me anymore. I am not owned by it. That's the lesson learned for me. It's not really about changing what is happening, but changing how I react to it.

 

Thank you for your post, this is the kind of thing I need to see. I'm doing my best to keep myself side  tracked from this. I keep telling myself it isn't real, it's only inside my mind and it does help. I just need to get that grip like you have.

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[sp...]

[sp...]

Posted
Posted

Thank you as well. EVERYTHING takes me twice as long as it used to...but my husband says I was always too hard and too critical of myself before. My therapist summed it up as:

There is a third way between flight or fight:it's called acceptance.

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[66...]

Guest [Lu...]

Posted
Posted

Thank you as well. EVERYTHING takes me twice as long as it used to...but my husband says I was always too hard and too critical of myself before. My therapist summed it up as:

There is a third way between flight or fight:it's called acceptance.

 

Love this!

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[Cl...]

[Cl...]

Posted
Posted

Going on a year of being benzo free. Woke up this morning with severe benzo symptoms. I guess it should be expected considering I am working 60 hours a week,in the process of closing on a house I am selling, packing, preparing to move my family, holidays, etc.

 

Just wanted to say that even though I wake up in a hell, that I am healed because I am not owned by this. I think my biggest lesson learned was to just let all of my expectations about healing go and to just move on with life.

 

When I realized that the real sickness was the way I was reacting to it all, I was healed, even though the benzo symptoms remained.

 

It's been about 11 months now since I jumped and I am going on 8 months of working out now. I have ridden my bicycle 1000 miles and have consistently lifted weights for 6 months. All of this whike having benzo symptoms. There are days when I get off my bike and can barely walk into the house due to weak legs and the world spinning. I wake up not knowing who I am and at work I can't remember the code wrote the day before. None of this phases me anymore. I am not owned by it. That's the lesson learned for me. It's not really about changing what is happening, but changing how I react to it.

 

Wonderful post!  :smitten:

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[ca...]

[ca...]

Posted
Posted

Thank you so much for this post !! Its one of the most meaningful posts I have read. I was in Bed- When I read it. Made me get up and start working. I really need to adopt this approach much more often. Has been such a productive day- Just did things!!!

:) :) :) :) :) Thanks really. I will get back to this post and read it from time to time. Yes!- You empowered me today

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[Ga...]

[Ga...]

Posted
Posted

Thank you so much Weevil for your story and your courageous attitude.  We are both short time users and so I feel much in common that way but your mindset is so strong whereas I am weaker in acceptance.  I let each sxs drag me down...crying...going back to bed...poor little me, why is this happening to me attitude.  No positive feeling of I am going to heal.  The fact that I am in my 18th month and still fighting sxs makes me so down since my expectations for healing have been so much less.

 

But reading your story of not letting this own me, of just getting on with my life has really opened up my eyes, my mind and my heart to change.  To accept this life I have now, to be thankful I am off the pOisin and knowing that I was strong enough to stop.  I did do a DNA blood panel which showed that I do have very faulty enzymes and bad metabolism and liver function that caused me to go into instant tolerance and that has calmed my mind a bit.  But I have to drop blaming the doctors, blaming myself and crying over every sx, every wave.

 

Thank you for helping me to strengthen my backbone, calm my fears and not let this healing roller coaster  own me and more important to stop expecting a particular timeline and to let go of moaning.

Time to begin living my life once more and this will also help my wonderful and loving hubby of 38 years who has been suffering along with me.

 

Blessings and may you be completly healed very soon.  Best wishes on your new life.

:smitten:Galea

 

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