Extreme depression.

[[ma...]]

I've been plagued by depression since I was 12 and it always gets worse in the winter months. But it is so awful right now. The klonopin withdrawal is making all my mental health issues so much worse. I've never had depression this bad. It feels more extreme than when I tried to commit suicide when I was 17. WHich is really scaring me. I can't stop thinking about doing it again. I can feel myself going through the motions of various methods. I can't try again. I can't go to a hospital either, I was just there, it cost my parents 200$ for the days I was there. I can't go back already, not when its this late in holiday season. But I don't know what to do. I see my therapist tomorrow but I don't know if that will help. I'm going to have to go back on an antidepressant, I'm going to be taking them for life at this rate.

[[gr...]]

If you think an AD will help, if they have helped you in the past, then i would do it if seriously thinking about suicide.

Im treatment resistant, even before wd came into play. Now im sooooo much more depressed like u said.

 

This is the worst i have ever been, i didnt even know depression could be this bad. I lay in bed all day for over a year now.

[[ma...]]

If you think an AD will help, if they have helped you in the past, then i would do it if seriously thinking about suicide.

Im treatment resistant, even before wd came into play. Now im sooooo much more depressed like u said.

 

This is the worst i have ever been, i didnt even know depression could be this bad. I lay in bed all day for over a year now.

 

Doctors have said I'm resistant to medication too... They all work for a month or so and then they stop working and I've been off and on so many medications. But i keep going on medication and going through withdrawals and hoping something works. Klonopin was the worst thing to happen. I really hope the CNS heals and we get "normal depression" back, that it's not this overwhelming for life. Better the enemy you know well.

[[gr...]]

The K has damaged us and made the depression what it is now. I just get so scared that this is my new level of depression which is not manageable. My old depression was bad enough, i would never even imagine a depression like this.

 

Im so lethargic....i cant do anything that is robotic for nomral people, or even depressed normal people.

Shave, shower, make food...i cant take care of myself and i hate what ive become.

 

They should never let depressed people take benzos. For Gods sake.

[[ma...]]

I'm really sorry groovejuice... I just barely manage to take care of myself and pets and its so painful and difficult. The bare minimum of self care is achievable. I throw all my energy into my pets.

 

What needs to be done is everything about benzos, the side effects and the withdrawal, need to be laid out when doctors offer it... Instead of handing it to us and saying its fine, just take it, its like an antidepressant. Because its nothing like antidepressant withdrawal.

[[gr...]]

Its a terrible terrible mess...thats all i can say. I know if i never took this crap my depression would still be manageable.

[[ma...]]

Right!! But we will be past this soon. WE have to hold onto that. Things will go back to "normal." Thank you for talking to me.

[[gr...]]

Its all i pray for, i hope its true. Your welcome, your not alone.