Hopeless for the first time

[[Pi...]]

I woke up today in what continued to be my biggest wave so far. It doesnt end. For the first time i lost my hope on healing and started thinking ill have to live like this forever. To make things worst, i think im now having lyrica wd as well bc i skipped a dose and started having hot flashes, extreme anxiety, and depression.

 

I just dug myself deeper into this hole by taking other meds to help me with my benzo wd. Now i think i wont ever feel better again. I just want to die, ive seen somewhere that when ppl use other meds to help them with benzo wd they can take over 10 yrs to heal. And that might even be a best case scenario for me.

 

P-docs tell my parents i dont have benzo wd. Im starting to believe i wont heal. My lifes a mess and i hate it.. Any words will help.

[[Ch...]]

Hi PK.

 

You will heal from this.  In the meantime, if you're taking other medications, I'd be careful to stick to a schedule so you don't miss doses and accidentally bring on more misery. 

 

It might help to talk to someone on the ground about this.  Here's a link that contains helplines: Suicide, Self-Harm & Threatening Behaviour .

 

This is a tough process and a lengthy one for most of us here.  It's the biggest challenge most of us have had in our lives.

 

Have you been reading in the Success Stories part of the forum?

 

 

 

 

[[be...]]

I am so sorry to read that you woke up feeling so badly today. My heart goes out to you. This is just a bad wave, that all. There will be a time when this is behind you. I think one of the worst thing of withdrawal is that we don't know when that will be. I think this would be much easier if we could physically see a date circled on a calendar that would show a healing date. I know I always wished that when I was so sick in withdrawal. If only I had a magic date, everything would be so less frightening. You are going to ride out this wave because you are a super strong person. We all are. Personally I think we make navy seals look like girls. My this wave leave as quickly as it came.

[[Pi...]]

Idk if i should stick to the schedule, and risk getting more addicted, or just tapering these fucked up meds once and for all..

 

If its a wave, its the longest ive ever been theough - 3 days and counting. This cant be real..

[[Ch...]]

Idk if i should stick to the schedule, and risk getting more addicted, or just tapering these fucked up meds once and for all..

 

If its a wave, its the longest ive ever been theough - 3 days and counting. This cant be real..

 

I thought you were benzo free since Sept 2013...that's what's in your signature.  Have you reinstated?

[[be...]]

Idk if i should stick to the schedule, and risk getting more addicted, or just tapering these fucked up meds once and for all..

 

If its a wave, its the longest ive ever been theough - 3 days and counting. This cant be real..

 

I thought you were benzo free since Sept 2013...that's what's in your signature.  Have you reinstated?

 

I wondered the same thing or are you on other meds you are trying to taper?

[[Co...]]

He was talking about lyrica. I've been in a wave for over 3 weeks now. It let's up a little bit here and there but has been with me the whole time. Actually it feels more like acute to me so maybe I'm not good to compare to. It will pass just hang tight. It's not gonna take you 10 years to heal.

[[gr...]]

This is why i tell people to stay away from Lyrica, Neurotin and Gabapentin! They are trouble IMO.

[[ma...]]

Idk if i should stick to the schedule, and risk getting more addicted, or just tapering these fucked up meds once and for all..

 

If its a wave, its the longest ive ever been theough - 3 days and counting. This cant be real..

 

You will be ok PK, the longest wave I had was 3-4 weeks that started on the 20th October, some days were absolutely horrific and I could not get my head around that I was in my 9th month and I was feeling like I was back in month 1. The worst of it was shut my self in my room crying my eyes out due to the anxiety and depression and even on slightly better days I was constantly in fear of having a panic attack when I left the house. I too thought that there was something mentally wrong with me at this point but now that I'm out of it I'm doing so much better, like I can really feel that I'm getting better. My  theory is the worse the wave the better you will feel when you emerge from it ,which has been the case in each of my setbacks

 

I think it might be better that you don't taper off all of your existing meds and wait until the benzo withdrawal symptoms are all over.

 

 

[[Pi...]]

yeah thats a good idea, i think ill wait for the benzo wd sxs to pass, and then withdraw the lyrica.

 

but do you guys think ill have another long wd from lyrica?