please help--feeling crazy

[[ia...]]

Hi,

 

Having a very bad day. Made a decrease in lorazepam 11/28/14 and feel like I am losing my mind. No relief anywhere. Even in watching TV. Trying to hang on. Depressed about how long this withdrawal will take. Feel crazy, like everyone hates me or is angry at me. Feels impossible to hang onto positive thoughts. Is this a symptom in severe withdrawal?

 

Just need to know someone is out there. I know my husband must be so sick of dealing with this. He has been so supportive, but how long can he take this? I am trying so hard. In therapy, working with a psychiatrist to do slow taper, trying to work at a job. So tired of trying so hard. One son has had to stop talking to me because this is too much for him. Just called other son just to check in and it didn't sound like he wanted to talk to me. Can't stop thinking negatively. It's not because I'm not trying hard. I am trying so hard.

 

Thanks for any thoughts or support.

Iam

[[Ch...]]

Hi,

 

Having a very bad day. Made a decrease in lorazepam 11/28/14 and feel like I am losing my mind. No relief anywhere. Even in watching TV. Trying to hang on. Depressed about how long this withdrawal will take. Feel crazy, like everyone hates me or is angry at me. Feels impossible to hang onto positive thoughts. Is this a symptom in severe withdrawal?

 

Just need to know someone is out there. I know my husband must be so sick of dealing with this. He has been so supportive, but how long can he take this? I am trying so hard. In therapy, working with a psychiatrist to do slow taper, trying to work at a job. So tired of trying so hard. One son has had to stop talking to me because this is too much for him. Just called other son just to check in and it didn't sound like he wanted to talk to me. Can't stop thinking negatively. It's not because I'm not trying hard. I am trying so hard.

 

Thanks for any thoughts or support.

Iam

We're here.    And yes, negative thoughts are extremely common in withdrawal.  They're sometimes referred to as 'benzo lies'.

 

It sounds like your family is worried and scared.  Mom is the backbone of most families and kids, even grown kids, can have a hard time when something's wrong with mom.  When my mom was in the hospital in grave condition, I wanted to be there, one brother was able to be there and the other brother could not bear to see her.  We all loved her the same, I'm sure, we just were different in how we reacted to her illness. 

 

What coping skills have worked for you?  Do you practice regulating your breathing for periods of time?  How do you distract from the symptoms?

 

 

[[Ki...]]

I could have written almost all of your words! The difference is my kids live at home. They are only 8 and 12, and Ive had to stop working! Today has been horrible. I feel like Im just barely hanging on. I feel panicky and depressed, and can barely watch t.v. Ive been tapering for 13 months now. I did it slowly to avoid these feelings. If its any comfort, you are not alone. We have no choice but to keep going and going and going....we will eventually make it!

[[12...]]

If you are worrying about family supporting you my husband is on a site that is actually a support group for friends and family of people withdrawing from benzodiazepam. My husband has found this very helpful to go to when he gets upset with my interactions or reactions that he can't understand and he says he has always found someone to relate to when he can't figure out why I am in a bad place.

[[ch...]]

You poor thing. I've definitely been where you are. In fact, I'm still kind of in it. Sometimes it can be good to remind yourself that you're in withdrawal and that what you're feeling is withdrawal. You're doing great. You're trying to be strong which is very commendable. As far as your symptoms, maybe hold the dose for awhile longer?

 

Hugs. 

[[Ch...]]

If you are worrying about family supporting you my husband is on a site that is actually a support group for friends and family of people withdrawing from benzodiazepam. My husband has found this very helpful to go to when he gets upset with my interactions or reactions that he can't understand and he says he has always found someone to relate to when he can't figure out why I am in a bad place.

 

That's great to hear there's a site like that.  We have a group here as well: Support for Family Members .  This is a very difficult thing for families.  They can't understand how bad we feel and how long this lasts.

[[Ba...]]

Hi,

 

Having a very bad day. Made a decrease in lorazepam 11/28/14 and feel like I am losing my mind. No relief anywhere. Even in watching TV. Trying to hang on. Depressed about how long this withdrawal will take. Feel crazy, like everyone hates me or is angry at me. Feels impossible to hang onto positive thoughts. Is this a symptom in severe withdrawal?

 

Just need to know someone is out there. I know my husband must be so sick of dealing with this. He has been so supportive, but how long can he take this? I am trying so hard. In therapy, working with a psychiatrist to do slow taper, trying to work at a job. So tired of trying so hard. One son has had to stop talking to me because this is too much for him. Just called other son just to check in and it didn't sound like he wanted to talk to me. Can't stop thinking negatively. It's not because I'm not trying hard. I am trying so hard.

 

Thanks for any thoughts or support.

Iam

 

I haven't read the other replies yet - but I had to reply straight away, as I am feeling the exact same way.

 

I feel all my friends hate me, even though there is no evidence to support that, I'm feeling exactly the way you describe!

 

It must be WD, but God I hope it stops soon.

 

[[Ba...]]

This has been very helpful to me since I too am a mother. My daughters are 28 and 29 and I feel they are avoiding me . Yet they do reach out and so maybe I'm just feeling misunderstood. And really who can understand this unless they are going through it or have been through it? Feeling crazy at times has been part of this experience for me. Yet I'm having a good day and know this will all be over someday and I will be ok then. You are in withdrawal. I worry about my husband too.  Please keep updating . I would like to hear from you....

[[...]]

i would like to join this thread too as i am a mom of two little ones and feel the same way as all of you.  crazy, anxiety, depressed like no one cares.. i know its the w/d but it sure feels horrible..  hang in there everyone.

[[Tr...]]

I often feel that everyone is distancing themselves from me.  Including my kids, my son, 20 (is away at college) and my daughter 17.  I do believe a lot of it is withdrawal and not looking or feeling like myself.  We are in a very difficult situation,and maybe over analyze things.  I know I over analyze everything.  You are not alone in this.....

 

Keep us posted.  Stay Strong!

 

Try

[[Ch...]]

Every little thing seems magnified in withdrawal...truly molehills into mountains at times.  We feel the physical AND the mental/emotional symptoms much stronger than they normally would be.  That was my experience...looking back, anyway.  Wish I'd realized it at the time.

 

[[Ba...]]

Every little thing seems magnified in withdrawal...truly molehills into mountains at times.  We feel the physical AND the mental/emotional symptoms much stronger than they normally would be.  That was my experience...looking back, anyway.  Wish I'd realized it at the time.

 

 

Thanks for giving us hope. It is so so easy to get caught up by the benzo lies.

 

I know deep down everyone doesn't hate me, or do I really?

 

But your words of hope makes me want to believe I'm just caught up in my world of benzo lies

[[Ch...]]

Every little thing seems magnified in withdrawal...truly molehills into mountains at times.  We feel the physical AND the mental/emotional symptoms much stronger than they normally would be.  That was my experience...looking back, anyway.  Wish I'd realized it at the time.

 

 

Thanks for giving us hope. It is so so easy to get caught up by the benzo lies.

 

I know deep down everyone doesn't hate me, or do I really?

 

But your words of hope makes me want to believe I'm just caught up in my world of benzo lies

 

Aw, you're welcome, that's why I'm still here... I don't need support anymore and I don't remember how bad it felt anymore, but I still remember how terribly desperate and scared I was and what a lifesaver this forum was.  I'm retired, I have the time to give.  What better place than this.

 

[[...]]

I spent the last few days feeling crazy too - and more tearful than ever (not "just" the meds here - I'm alone, depressed etc and the holiday season is making me unhinged with grief at missing my kids). I think it's because I might have cut off more valium than I knew. But the scary feeling of feeling like my mind was going ... loose, weird. I did a tiny uptick in the valium yesterday evening but feel very unstable. Trying to get actual support from real people here is hard - and sometimes I can't tell if it's "me" or the benzo lie that's happening. Right now some little zinging feelings in the back of my head, eyes tired, clenching my teeth.

 

And the self-imposed isolation is killing me.

 

Like some others, I get the heartbreaking feeling my kids (22,20, 17 - living in Boston) are keeping their distance a little or else they think I'm being neglectful if I don't reach out. Of course they have their own lives. They think Dad is doing OK in NY, just depressed and undirected (deeply true), but not so hit by this drug. I though valium would be easier than ativan but I'm finding that a cut is still a cut and my brain responds.

 

I hate the crazy feeling though. Maybe if I do smaller cuts. I'll have been on these things for nearly a year. Wish I'd cut it all more rapdily back when I knew I was getting addicted to it.

[[be...]]

Hi,

 

Having a very bad day. Made a decrease in lorazepam 11/28/14 and feel like I am losing my mind. No relief anywhere. Even in watching TV. Trying to hang on. Depressed about how long this withdrawal will take. Feel crazy, like everyone hates me or is angry at me. Feels impossible to hang onto positive thoughts. Is this a symptom in severe withdrawal?

 

Just need to know someone is out there. I know my husband must be so sick of dealing with this. He has been so supportive, but how long can he take this? I am trying so hard. In therapy, working with a psychiatrist to do slow taper, trying to work at a job. So tired of trying so hard. One son has had to stop talking to me because this is too much for him. Just called other son just to check in and it didn't sound like he wanted to talk to me. Can't stop thinking negatively. It's not because I'm not trying hard. I am trying so hard.

 

Thanks for any thoughts or support.

Iam

 

I haven't read the other replies yet - but I had to reply straight away, as I am feeling the exact same way.

 

I feel all my friends hate me, even though there is no evidence to support that, I'm feeling exactly the way you describe!

 

It must be WD, but God I hope it stops soon.

 

Well, I don't hate you. I like you!!!!!

[[Fr...]]

For what it's worth, I think that whatever gets to us in life, our insecurities, will get to us even more. Maybe 10-fold.  Some previous poster mentioned Benzo-lies.  This makes sense.  I don't worry that my family doesn't love me or that I have no one, because I'm an introvert and don't tend to worry about that sort of thing, whether it's true or not. But I do worry about heatlh ... health anxiety--which is how I ended-up on Xanax in the first place--so every symptom I get is blown up and when I joined this board on December 7 I was feeling very out of control with that anxiety/insecurity. In fact, I was at the doctor this morning. Hang in there. Your family is hanging in for you and all will be well.