Questions about withdrawal...is this normal?

[[An...]]

Hi all, I have some questions about benzo withdrawal:

 

Why isn't it linear, like a healing wound? How is it possible to feel well for windows and then things to be so rough again? It doesn't make sense. If I'm really healing, why isn't it a constant progression where things get easier and easier? Instead the withdrawal changes in severity throughout each wave. The symptoms that are most severe change each time. It is totally unpredictable which symptoms I'll have each day and which will be worst. My doctor friend who has only seen one patient in ativan withdrawal asked me if it had faded at least and was less intense. I told her I guess it's sort of better a little but also still intense at each wave. She just said, "hmmm." I just want to know if that's normal or if it doesn't sound like I'm actually healing.

 

How long is it normal for a wave to last? Is 2-3 weeks abnormal? Or does that mean I'm doomed as far as healing goes? I'm currently in an almost 2 week wave. There seems to be no predictable pattern to how long a wave lasts for me, how much time a good window will last, etc. It's all so unpredictable.

I seem to have a point in each wave where my worst symptoms peak and it's nearly intolerable and then things slowly get better. Is that normal? I'm 3 months out (ativan withdrawal).

 

If any of you can answer any of this for me I'd so greatly appreciate it!! I am at the point where I have just learned and am accepting that healing from benzo withdrawal can take a long time. I really just discovered that fact. So I'm new to all of this. Thank you all so much!!

[Guest [Or...]]

The truth is...nobody really knows why its not linear. For some people it is. And for others it isn't.

 

What you have to do is find your own meaning for all of this.

 

I think that for someone whose healing is linear, their brain shakes off all the benzos from their receptor sites and thwts why they have a terrible acute phase. For others with windows and waves, we shake off benzos a little at a time and return to baseline. For those that heal overnight...I dunno.

 

As for how long a wave lasts, it SEEMS to be bases on severity, but what may be severe for me may not be severe for you.

 

I think when a wave starts its when benzos fall off (When the wave is most intense) and then your brain works to upregulate the receptors. Then you return to baseline for a while. But there's still problems with this because some people don't always return to baseline.

 

It's a confusing process for sure. But don't get discouraged. You will heal. The when is the hardest part to accept.

[Guest [Mi...]]

Yes, the waves and windows phenomenon is unpredictable.

 

Another member, Parker, wrote a really good post about this:  What is happening in your brain? I found it very informative, as do many members.

 

I keep a Progress Log in hopes of finding patterns but to be honest, I really haven't found any.

 

One thing I've noticed, though, is a decrease in the intensity most of the time. Earlier this week I hit a wave that I described as "acute-like" and it was; however, it didn't last as long as the waves during acute.

 

Wish there was a way to predict it, as it would make life so much easier.

[[An...]]

Wow thank you both so much for your explanations!! I truly appreciate it. This withdrawal is so scary and so hard to believe I'm really healing. Thank you so much for the link Mindseeker!! It's so helpful!!

[[Cr...]]

I have a theory...and again, this is just my own opinion and I have no evidence to suggest it, but there is evidence that the body can store excess benzos in fat (correct me if I am wrong) and maybe the waves and windows are the body burning fat releasing benzos (windows) and the body not burning fat, or running out (waves)......Another theory is just that the body has SOOO much to correct that has been thrown off by benzos that it is like a pendulum swinging back and forth trying to find balance...it swings to almost normal and then has a bounce back effect, gradually finding its way to healed. I really have no idea, but I constantly wonder about this, especially since I was in a pretty good long window and now I am suffering worse than ever. Really makes me wonder if its benzos.