I wish I knew what "normal" is.

[[Ma...]]

I have joined here because nobody within my daily life of reality can understand what I feel/am going through. (Therapist, doctor, GP, etc)

 

I have been controlled by Benzos for 3 years now.

 

I started out taking 2mg of Xanax for one year, then I was raised to 4mg for the following year. After this seemed to not be effective enough, I was put on an additional 3mg of Klonopin along with 4mg of Xanax. Currently I have stopped taking my medicine due to stubbornness and anger/shame of myself, I am clinging to reality by a thread. I feel so lost and long to remember what "normal" is. My friends think I am crazy, my foster parents/family think it is all in my head. I need help and support, even if it is through a forum/virtual friends/support. I feel so horrible, I don't even have the motivation to talk about how I feel because everything just feels so incredibly hopeless. I have had a great life and consider myself to be very successful until September 20th, 2011 when my parents passed away in a car accident. Only four days after my birthday. This is when my life turned completely upside down.. I am not sure if this is against the rules but I have been taking opiate pain killers to help ease the emotional, physical, and mental pain I have been feeling. I've almost had to call 911 on several occasions due to feeling like there is no point to continue in this misery. I need to add more to this later as I can barely control myself at this time.. Thanks for reading.

[[me...]]

Hello Maggels.  Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us!  I'm so sorry to hear about your parents, and my heart goes out to you.  Going off a high dose of benzos cold turkey is not advisable and can in fact lead to severe, long-term withdrawal symptoms.  We generally advise tapering slowly at a reduction rate of about 5-10% every 10-14 days.  If you haven't been off long you do have the option of going back on and doing a slow taper. Here are a few links you may find useful:

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper).

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

 

 

[[Ch...]]

Hi Maggels.  I'm so sorry for the grief you've endured.  I think you'll find a number of people here were prescribed benzodiazepines for trauma and loss and have some idea about what you've been through.

 

There's no need to beat yourself up about it.  I've been where you are and medication got me through some horrific times.  We do the best we can do to deal with things. 

 

And now you're dealing with this.  Sounds like you're in cold turkey withdrawal.  How long since you stopped taking the Xanax and Klonopin?

 

Challis 

 

[[Ch...]]

Maggels, we don't have rules about medications our members take nor are we here to judge, we're here to help you get through this.

[[ME...]]

Maggels,

 

Your medication Xanax + Klonopin are high enough to alter your mental and emotional state.  I am on Klonopin for 2 and 1/2 years now.  I am tapering.  And I have difficulty in handling stress and getting the normal life as I knew it.  It was worse during my high dosage of Klonopin, 2 mg, 1 mg, sometimes 2 mg.  I have big improvement as I reached low dosage, but I am not healed 100% yet.

 

I joined benzobuddies for support, information and many times source of strength.

 

Did you stop your medications c/t? 

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

Maggels,

 

Your medication Xanax + Klonopin are high enough to alter your mental and emotional state.  I am on Klonopin for 2 and 1/2 years now.  I am tapering.  And I have difficulty in handling stress and getting the normal life as I knew it.  It was worse during my high dosage of Klonopin, 2 mg, 1 mg, sometimes 2 mg.  I have big improvement as I reached low dosage, but I am not healed 100% yet.

 

I joined benzobuddies for support, information and many times source of strength.

 

Did you stop your medications c/t?

 

Thank you to everyone who replied to me thus far - and the useful links provided by Megan918, I'm going to have to revise my plan because as of right now - trying to just stop completely is just utterly unbearable and I don't think I should do this.

 

It has been almost one week now since I had stopped taking my medicine and it's still just getting worse and worse symptom and mental state wise. I always knew that all this time my medication was ultimately doing more harm than it was good for me, but I just simply didn't care, I just wanted any relief I could find and frankly this is all I know to help. I am going to look at how other people here have tapered down on their medication because I feel like jumping off cold turkey from where I am at is probably equivalent to being suicidal.

[Guest [Or...]]

Hiya Maggels. Your story really touched me. Being in the foster care system and having to deal with withdrawals must be so difficult. Although the symptoms are awful, they are temporary.

 

I've been off benzos for 4 months now and have had to redefine what "normal" is to prevent myself from going crazy. Please don't ever give in. There are many people on the forum that truly understand you and will pick you up when you fall down.

 

We don't know you, but we "get" you. And I think that's why I like BBs so much. Were here for you.

[[Ma...]]

Hiya Maggels. Your story really touched me. Being in the foster care system and having to deal with withdrawals must be so difficult. Although the symptoms are awful, they are temporary.

 

I've been off benzos for 4 months now and have had to redefine what "normal" is to prevent myself from going crazy. Please don't ever give in. There are many people on the forum that truly understand you and will pick you up when you fall down.

 

We don't know you, but we "get" you. And I think that's why I like BBs so much. Were here for you.

 

Thanks Orionbash - I myself find hope in the words of people like you and others who have made so much progress, just seeing that there truly is hope for a somewhat successful recovery does give me some comfort.

 

I was one of those people who never thought this would happen to me, I have lost too many friends at such young ages due to the massive rise in prescription pill abuse / illegal street drugs. So all my life that is what kept me so positive that it would never be me. I wasn't one to just want to "get high" and all that, I had other ways of dealing with urges or feelings of wanting to escape. I have always been close to my family, and losing my parents has been the toughest thing I've ever had to go through. They were my best friends, the ones who I could turn to if I had some issues, I always valued them and everything they ever did for us. I'll try to not get too stuck on that topic - because I could go on for hours about it. Only being 22, I worry often that there's so much more time left in my life for something this devastating to happen again.

 

I wonder sometimes - what was worse. Losing both of my parents at the same time, or this medicine I was put on to "help the problems and worries get better". Then I remind myself that maybe that is not the point I should focus on, but my head has not ever been the same. I think differently, I eat differently, I sleep differently, my brain just feels so much less sharp then it did when I was "healthy". My twin sister often reminds me of a mirror reflection of how I could/should be. She was able to deal with our lives unfortunate events naturally and not "need" help like me. I definitely am not what I used to be, and while seeing her succeed and enjoy life so easily - it just makes me feel that that should be me too but my constant use of large amounts of Benzos has really effected me negatively.

[Guest [Or...]]

Looking at other people happily enjoying their lives bothers me as well. But instead of thinking about what COULD happen, think about all the stuff that SHOULD happen.

 

This whole experience, while being hellish and nasty, builds character. You could go on and help others in your situation. And from what I understand from reading stories of those on the other side, is that any little challenge that pops up after benzo withdrawal is a piece of cake.

 

You seem really intelligent. Hang in there. I think you're gonna be OK! 

[[Ma...]]

Looking at other people happily enjoying their lives bothers me as well. But instead of thinking about what COULD happen, think about all the stuff that SHOULD happen.

 

This whole experience, while being hellish and nasty, builds character. You could go on and help others in your situation. And from what I understand from reading stories of those on the other side, is that any little challenge that pops up after benzo withdrawal is a piece of cake.

 

You seem really intelligent. Hang in there. I think you're gonna be OK! 

 

Thanks for the reply again. I understand and agree that one should not focus on what could be - just like how one shouldn't focus on things they want/don't have. It's important to value and think about what should happen, similar to how one should focus and value what they have.

 

With in the last year, things have been getting more and more tough for me to endure. Not knowing what to do, I've kind of went off on my own trying to find something to help with what I'm going through - I don't like to drink that much what so ever, I've been taking painkilling medication which I KNOW will just cause me more problems down the road but I'm out of reasoning to care or choose between what's right/wrong. Along with my Xanax and Klon it seems like it's the perfect thing to help me escape from my troubles and issues in reality. The thing is I know it is not a good thing to do, especially when I'm not being prescribed it - but my morals and brain just simply do not care, I just want relief and if this is what it takes then so be it. That is my thought process, and I know the normal me would never except an answer like that but I just feel so damaged.

[Guest [Or...]]

I know all about numbing the pain. Well, sorta. I used alcohol as my vice. But I didn't do it to escape from any problems. It was just FUN. So I kept doing it until it spiraled out of control and ended up in Benzo land. It's just awful.

 

What I think may help, assuming you haven't already done so to some degree, is before beginning your taper...maybe work out all of your pain? It will help going forward. Benzo withdrawal is brutal for playing up on all of your biggest fears. And you don't want those appearing. Trust me.

 

It really is a monster. Regardless of what you choose to do, everyone is here for ya! Just take it slow on the way down to minimize the blow and you will survive this. You will be SO much better for it too.

[[Ma...]]

I know all about numbing the pain. Well, sorta. I used alcohol as my vice. But I didn't do it to escape from any problems. It was just FUN. So I kept doing it until it spiraled out of control and ended up in Benzo land. It's just awful.

 

What I think may help, assuming you haven't already done so to some degree, is before beginning your taper...maybe work out all of your pain? It will help going forward. Benzo withdrawal is brutal for playing up on all of your biggest fears. And you don't want those appearing. Trust me.

 

It really is a monster. Regardless of what you choose to do, everyone is here for ya! Just take it slow on the way down to minimize the blow and you will survive this. You will be SO much better for it too.

 

My mother for a majority of her time here with our family was a functioning alcoholic you could say. Therefore when things got flipped upside down for me, this was something I did try but it just seemed to be too rough for me along with the amount of Xanax/Klon I was taking. She managed to be very successful and accomplish more than I feel I ever could all while managing her addiction to alcohol. I to this day do not understand how she did this, but some people can just do anything. I had failed attempts with alcohol as a pain/problem reliever, then I tried an opiate pill and it made me feel what I identify as "normal", which I had longed to feel for years now. Once what I had available to me was gone, I had to search for a new way to obtain this miracle medicine which I was able to do with success. I have attempted to stop this and see if I had any negative side effects and I entered a whole new world of pain, with physical and mental opiate withdrawal symptoms.

 

I was wondering if there's anyone or anyplace on these boards I should go to in regarding opiate withdrawal?

[[Be...]]

Hi Maggels-

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. How very sad.

 

Hey some good news here, you are by NO means permanently damaged. Here is a really good post that explains exactly what is happening to our brains in simple terms Check this post out when you are able:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

I know how awful you feel right now. I went through opiate withdrawal along with benzo withdrawal. I also quit smoking & drinking all at the same time.  Try not to over indulge with the opiate pain killers. As you know, it can become another problem for you to have deal with down the road.

 

Consider re-instating & doing a taper with the support of your doctor. A taper can be advantageous to you as symptoms are not as brutal as a CT & it also gives your brain (GABA receptors)  time to re-adjust as you go down in dosage.

 

We are all here for you. Keep  asking questions & sharing your progress. You will get through this one day at a time. Be patient. You are very young & should have a full recovery.

 

I wish you a full, speedy recovery & the very best for you.

[[Ma...]]

Hi Maggels-

 

Welcome to the forum.

 

I am so very sorry to hear of your loss. How very sad.

 

Hey some good news here, you are by NO means permanently damaged. Here is a really good post that explains exactly what is happening to our brains in simple terms Check this post out when you are able:

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=66397.0

 

I know how awful you feel right now. I went through opiate withdrawal along with benzo withdrawal. I also quit smoking & drinking all at the same time.  Try not to over indulge with the opiate pain killers. As you know, it can become another problem for you to have deal with down the road.

 

Consider re-instating & doing a taper with the support of your doctor. A taper can be advantageous to you as symptoms are not as brutal as a CT & it also gives your brain (GABA receptors)  time to re-adjust as you go down in dosage.

 

We are all here for you. Keep  asking questions & sharing your progress. You will get through this one day at a time. Be patient. You are very young & should have a full recovery.

 

I wish you a full, speedy recovery & the very best for you.

 

Thank you, I've felt very welcome here for my short time and that is wonderful. It's also great to know that the damage I am experiencing is potentially not permanent - this is something I fear very much.

 

I respect your willpower and physical endurance to withstand going through what you described above, it reminds me that things can always be worse. I grew a tolerance to Xanax fairly quickly compared to what most people describe here, and I suppose this must be genetic for me, as it's happening to me for the opiate painkillers. I used to be fine just taking 5-10 mg of hydro/oxycodone  but now it takes me far more than that to achieve what I used to be able to from just a fraction of where I'm at now. Not having a prescription for this, it's become very expensive and also is not reliable all the time like my Benzo's are which scares me. I know I'm already physically addicted to painkillers along with the Benzo's so I feel as if I've created a whole new hell for me to cope and deal with.

 

I wonder what my doctor would do for me/tell me to do if I enlightened him with my secret habit of using these medications to help me cope with life. It scares me due to the risk of being cut off from everything. I wonder if they would recommend a Suboxone/Subutex maintenance or something along these lines. I know nobody here can give me a for sure answer, I'm just looking for some of the possibilities that I may encounter if I take this route.

 

Thanks again for your kind words and encouragement.

[[Be...]]

Hey kiddo-

 

You are welcome & not a problem!

 

Just guessing here, your doc would probably cut you off CT. 

 

Suboxone is a bitch to get off of too. One poison for another. Would not be a good idea to add another poison right now. Potential train wreak. 

 

To be successful you will need to make a decision & commit to it 100%. If I were in your shoes, I would re-instate benzo poison, then once stable from that, I would then GRADUALLY start reducing opiates 5mg every week or so. This way withdrawal from opiates will be minimal.

 

Try to look at this opiate thing as a "lesson learned".

 

Cognitive behavioral therapy works wonders if you commit to it. Like anything else in life, you get out what you put in. There is no easy "fix". Learning positive alternate coping strategies will serve you well for the rest of your life.

 

Please consider this option. Sometimes it is difficult to find a therapist that we connect  & feel comfortable with. Connecting is REALLY important if you choose this route.

 

Life is all about choice. Start today with making a choice you are comfortable with, that is reasonable & doable, then commit 100% & just simply GO FOR IT 

[[Be...]]

Me again!

 

I see you reinstated 4mg of Xanax today. Glad you reinstated. Do you have a firm plan yet?

 

Is there a particular reason you chose the xanax instead of the Klonopin?

 

Many here say K is easier to taper with as it has a longer half life & with this, the inter dose withdrawals one may experience are less as with X.

 

Just thought I would share in case you were not informed. 

[[Ma...]]

Me again!

 

I see you reinstated 4mg of Xanax today. Glad you reinstated. Do you have a firm plan yet?

 

Is there a particular reason you chose the xanax instead of the Klonopin?

 

Many here say K is easier to taper with as it has a longer half life & with this, the inter dose withdrawals one may experience are less as with X.

 

Just thought I would share in case you were not informed. 

 

Hey you 

 

Well my doctor suggested I take 4 mg of Xanax along side of 3 mg Klonopin, Because the 4 mg of Xanax didn't seem to be effective for me any more. My doctor did not want to raise my dose of Xanax so I was told to take 3 mg of Klon daily as well. I wish I had known that at the time because I did have the option to start with Klonopin. I was completely in the dark knowledge wise when I started Xanax and continued to not know how bad things could be the whole time during taking it until I've came here. I've stopped once or twice due to frustration and irritation/stubbornness and that's when I realized there might be more to this than I had expected.. 

[[Ch...]]

I'm glad to see you reinstated the Xanax today.  Not the Klonopin, right?  Hopefully in a short time you'll feel a lot better.  When you feel stable, you can begin a slow taper.

 

Here's a link for posting about the painkillers: Other Medications 

 

[[ME...]]

Hiya Maggels. Your story really touched me. Being in the foster care system and having to deal with withdrawals must be so difficult. Although the symptoms are awful, they are temporary.

 

I've been off benzos for 4 months now and have had to redefine what "normal" is to prevent myself from going crazy. Please don't ever give in. There are many people on the forum that truly understand you and will pick you up when you fall down.

 

We don't know you, but we "get" you. And I think that's why I like BBs so much. Were here for you.

 

Thanks Orionbash - I myself find hope in the words of people like you and others who have made so much progress, just seeing that there truly is hope for a somewhat successful recovery does give me some comfort.

 

I was one of those people who never thought this would happen to me, I have lost too many friends at such young ages due to the massive rise in prescription pill abuse / illegal street drugs. So all my life that is what kept me so positive that it would never be me. I wasn't one to just want to "get high" and all that, I had other ways of dealing with urges or feelings of wanting to escape. I have always been close to my family, and losing my parents has been the toughest thing I've ever had to go through. They were my best friends, the ones who I could turn to if I had some issues, I always valued them and everything they ever did for us. I'll try to not get too stuck on that topic - because I could go on for hours about it. Only being 22, I worry often that there's so much more time left in my life for something this devastating to happen again.

 

I wonder sometimes - what was worse. Losing both of my parents at the same time, or this medicine I was put on to "help the problems and worries get better". Then I remind myself that maybe that is not the point I should focus on, but my head has not ever been the same. I think differently, I eat differently, I sleep differently, my brain just feels so much less sharp then it did when I was "healthy". My twin sister often reminds me of a mirror reflection of how I could/should be. She was able to deal with our lives unfortunate events naturally and not "need" help like me. I definitely am not what I used to be, and while seeing her succeed and enjoy life so easily - it just makes me feel that that should be me too but my constant use of large amounts of Benzos has really effected me negatively.

 

Hi Maggels, you mentioned other drugs that you have taken in the past.  You did not mention what drugs are those, but I feel that Klonopin and Xanax has more impact to your physical, mental and emotional health at this present time. 

 

If you stopped both medicine C/T, you will have harrowing withdrawal symptoms.  It may even make you wish to end everything.

 

Doctors know better, your doctor told you to take 4 mg Xanax and 3 mg Klonopin.  Xanax is short acting, and Klonopin relief last longer.  Talking from my experience, and I am pretty sure you know it too, that right after taking these fairly high dosage will get you relief.  But as they wane, you will feel the backlash, usually in the morning (from my experience).  I feel sad, depressed, uninspired,  life is meaningless.  Then my only option is to take the dosage again (this was 7 or 8 months ago).

Maybe my symptoms are amplified by my personal problems.  Or Klonopin was amplifying my hopelessness, guilt and other negative emotions.  Either way I was devastated.

 

First thing I did, I stabilize my mental and emotional condition (by using Klonopin).  My dosage from the very start was 1 mg Klonopin single dose per day.  And after 1 year, 1 mg became ineffective.  I took 2 mg, it is helping.  But there were times that 2 mg is also not enough.  I took as high as 4 mg, and repeat it the following days, until I get relief.  Then I go back down to 1 mg.

 

It happened many times.  But I always go down to 1 mg.  For unknown reason, sometimes in May I was able to maintain 1 mg per day.  Then from that dosage I started slow taper.  The problem did not stop there.  I had many rescue dose.  Many times I cannot endure the withdrawal symptoms, so I take a rescue dose, sometimes 1.5 sometimes 2.  But I always go back to where I stop in my tapering.

 

Now I am at 0.22 mg.  Mental and emotional agonies are still present, but less intense.  I have other underlying issues that may be contributing to my affliction or agony.  But, speaking of getting off the drug, it is possible.

 

For other issues not related to my tapering, I think I need help somewhere else.

 

More note:  I found out in Wikipedia, under heroin article, that benzodiazepine can cause more physical harm than LSD, marijuana, solvents, kath (i don't know what's kath is), etc.  Striving to get a smooth taper and getting off benzo is advisable.

Slow tapering is advisable to minimized w/d and to attain complete healing at every stage, it will also help to avoid protracted withdrawal as I have learned from Orion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

I'm glad to see you reinstated the Xanax today.  Not the Klonopin, right?  Hopefully in a short time you'll feel a lot better.  When you feel stable, you can begin a slow taper.

 

Here's a link for posting about the painkillers: Other Medications 

 

 

Thank you. I did only take the Xanax, except I probably shouldn't have but I have taken more than I'm supposed to - therefore I feel as if it's overwhelming and I at times cannot control myself. By this I mean I am falling asleep while typing messages, I forget what I was talking/typing about, etc. I think I was just so down/experiencing rock bottom that I felt like taking more than I am supposed to and it's making me very un-human like.

 

Also thank you for the other medication link. I will take some time when I can focus and explore there/post my own experience/issues.

 

M

[[Ma...]]

 

 

Hi Maggels, you mentioned other drugs that you have taken in the past.  You did not mention what drugs are those, but I feel that Klonopin and Xanax has more impact to your physical, mental and emotional health at this present time. 

 

If you stopped both medicine C/T, you will have harrowing withdrawal symptoms.  It may even make you wish to end everything.

 

Doctors know better, your doctor told you to take 4 mg Xanax and 3 mg Klonopin.  Xanax is short acting, and Klonopin relief last longer.  Talking from my experience, and I am pretty sure you know it too, that right after taking these fairly high dosage will get you relief.  But as they wane, you will feel the backlash, usually in the morning (from my experience).  I feel sad, depressed, uninspired,  life is meaningless.  Then my only option is to take the dosage again (this was 7 or 8 months ago).

Maybe my symptoms are amplified by my personal problems.  Or Klonopin was amplifying my hopelessness, guilt and other negative emotions.  Either way I was devastated.

 

First thing I did, I stabilize my mental and emotional condition (by using Klonopin).  My dosage from the very start was 1 mg Klonopin single dose per day.  And after 1 year, 1 mg became ineffective.  I took 2 mg, it is helping.  But there were times that 2 mg is also not enough.  I took as high as 4 mg, and repeat it the following days, until I get relief.  Then I go back down to 1 mg.

 

It happened many times.  But I always go down to 1 mg.  For unknown reason, sometimes in May I was able to maintain 1 mg per day.  Then from that dosage I started slow taper.  The problem did not stop there.  I had many rescue dose.  Many times I cannot endure the withdrawal symptoms, so I take a rescue dose, sometimes 1.5 sometimes 2.  But I always go back to where I stop in my tapering.

 

Now I am at 0.22 mg.  Mental and emotional agonies are still present, but less intense.  I have other underlying issues that may be contributing to my affliction or agony.  But, speaking of getting off the drug, it is possible.

 

For other issues not related to my tapering, I think I need help somewhere else.

 

More note:  I found out in Wikipedia, under heroin article, that benzodiazepine can cause more physical harm than LSD, marijuana, solvents, kath (i don't know what's kath is), etc.  Striving to get a smooth taper and getting off benzo is advisable.

Slow tapering is advisable to minimized w/d and to attain complete healing at every stage, it will also help to avoid protracted withdrawal as I have learned from Orion.

 

MEexpat, thank you for your time for your reply.

 

I started out taking Hydrocodone and Oxycodone in small doses. Anywhere from 5-10 mg at the most to help me escape from the pain I was feeling. Over the course of the last year the dose has had to increase from 5-10 mg to almost 30-60 mg of Roxycodone daily. I am skeptical that my doctor at the time may have rushed to the conclusion that Xanax would fix everything for me, I took the advice because I did not know any better/wanted any help I could get. (keep in mind that my opiate use is not prescription.) I appreciate your information about your experience with benzos. I know all too well about what you're talking about and the pain you feel. It's nice to know someone can relate to the feeling of hopelessness and feeling ending everything would be easier than dealing with this.... I think that it's probably a good idea for me to figure out a taper plan to slowly get myself away from the high does I am at. I am a very small petite person, I'm 5'1" and weigh only 110 lbs. Medicines effect me harder than someone of bigger weight/height ratio. I have used some marijuana as well but it was all recreational and didn't feel it was appropriate/fit to include in my signature. It has honestly very much helped with most symptoms that I experience/go through. I try to use it as little as possible it feels as if it's the more natural and safe thing I have came across to help with what I am going through.

 

Thanks again

 

M

[[ME...]]

Hydrocodone and Oxycodone (Brand Name: Roxicodone) are opioid analgesics, as what i have read.  These substances are addictive.  I think they are powerful pain killers, isn't it. 

 

Marijuana as you said is more natural, I think I agree to that.  It is a plant.  I guess you are using it to escape from dark moments of your life.

 

Marijuana is less destructive than benzodiazepine.  I do not mean to tell you to continue smoking it, if you can find other ways to get relief, it will be better.  Xanax and Klonopin are the big contributor to your complaints.

 

Oxycodone and Hydrocodone might be affecting you also.  I have limited knowledge, maybe some other members can give more lights on these drugs.

 

I have read a blog about a man who wanted to get off Klonopin, he went to a rehab.  From his experience rehabilitation from Klonopin is more difficult than detox/rehab from street drugs like marijuana and heroin.

 

Getting off from Klonopin and Xanax is a personal matter.  You have to plan by yourself, you have to feel yourself how you respond to reduction, or length of time before the next cut.

 

Maybe you could detox from oxycodone and hydrocone thru rehab facilities?

 

But Klonopin and Xanax could be stop by slow tapering only. 

 

Marijuana used in small quantities may not be a serious issue.  It is fat-soluble and stay in our system longer than alcohol. 

But eventually, it will be purged out of our system in time.

 

My first step in tapering was stabilization.

 

I cannot and I do not want to start tapering if I am suffering from mental and emotional agony. 

 

I am working in Saudi Arabia, 5000 miles away from my wife, 2 daughters and 1 year old baby grandson.  Maybe I am 53 years old.  I am totally invaded by Klonopin tapering and I forgot some things that I usually do.

 

I have no emotional support.  I go to a friend in the evening and we watch Philippine news in satellite TV together.

 

I joined benzobuddies.  And I have more emotional and spiritual support.

 

Think about what can make you strong, where and from whom you can find comfort.  So that you may be able to get away from marijuana plant.  Search for other analgesics. 

 

Maybe you can stay on your doctor's prescription of Xanax and Klonopin while you are sorting out your issues on pain, opioid analgesics and marijuana use.  Then later you can start planning your taper.

 

You know, I do not want to tell you this, but me, myself, I really need help, every time I have agitation, depression, or panic attacks, head pressure, I am asking for help.

 

Sharing with others who are in the same plight helps and sometimes my only way of getting relief instead of taking high dose of medications that caused us so much problem.

 

I hope you can relax a little bit, and give yourself step by step process towards the life we had before.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ME...]]

I'm glad to see you reinstated the Xanax today.  Not the Klonopin, right?  Hopefully in a short time you'll feel a lot better.  When you feel stable, you can begin a slow taper.

 

Here's a link for posting about the painkillers: Other Medications 

 

 

Thank you. I did only take the Xanax, except I probably shouldn't have but I have taken more than I'm supposed to - therefore I feel as if it's overwhelming and I at times cannot control myself. By this I mean I am falling asleep while typing messages, I forget what I was talking/typing about, etc. I think I was just so down/experiencing rock bottom that I felt like taking more than I am supposed to and it's making me very un-human like.

 

Also thank you for the other medication link. I will take some time when I can focus and explore there/post my own experience/issues.

 

M

 

Sorry Maggels, I did not read the previous posts before I made a lengthy reply.  I didn't know that you reinstated Xanax only.

 

If Xanax alone can give you relief, that is much better.  Please update if you are feeling ok with Xanax alone.

 

 

 

[[Ma...]]

I'm glad to see you reinstated the Xanax today.  Not the Klonopin, right?  Hopefully in a short time you'll feel a lot better.  When you feel stable, you can begin a slow taper.

 

Here's a link for posting about the painkillers: Other Medications 

 

 

Thank you. I did only take the Xanax, except I probably shouldn't have but I have taken more than I'm supposed to - therefore I feel as if it's overwhelming and I at times cannot control myself. By this I mean I am falling asleep while typing messages, I forget what I was talking/typing about, etc. I think I was just so down/experiencing rock bottom that I felt like taking more than I am supposed to and it's making me very un-human like.

 

Also thank you for the other medication link. I will take some time when I can focus and explore there/post my own experience/issues.

 

M

 

Sorry Maggels, I did not read the previous posts before I made a lengthy reply.  I didn't know that you reinstated Xanax only.

 

If Xanax alone can give you relief, that is much better.  Please update if you are feeling ok with Xanax alone.

 

I am not feeling that well at all, my medicine has either not built back up in my system or I need to take more. I feel so many different things I could barely motivate myself to check here and post a response today. I think I will take a bit more and see how that makes me feel.. I'm alive but I might be a little slow and off on my replies today.

 

Thanks.

 

M

[[ME...]]

Hi Maggels,

 

I had taken Xanax in the past, it does not work with me.  And I switch back to Klonopin. 

 

Try 3 or 4 mg Klonopin single dose, without Xanax.  I did it before.  I had problem stabilizing in July, I took 4 mg in 3 days (4, 4, 4, 2, 4.2, then i go back to 1).

 

Klonopin is much stronger than Xanax.  I know, high dose of Klonopin is not good, but sometimes we have no choice if we are suffering.

 

I hope Klonopin will help.  Think of tapering later.

 

If 3 mg Klonopin will help that is better.  If not try 4.  You can always switch back to 3 because that is your regular dose.