Cut for the first time in a long time

[[Je...]]

I really hate this benzo beast. This is my second rodeo, as I reinstated once I was benzo free for three months. This time around is so much harder. It has been six months since I've been able to eat or swallow properly, sometimes I really think I have forgotten how to. Life's stresses just keep piling up by the day. I haven't cut for a couple of months just to let myself rest and try to calm things down but finally got to the point where it felt like I needed more klonopin just to feel normal. I can't up my dose, I have been through too much of a living hell. Finally decided to go for it and just get this over with. Today hasn't been horrible but my first day never is. I have the head pressure, really tired, neck pains, the usual. I just need this stressor cut out of my life. It's so stupid when you think about it, these little tiny pills controlling our lives, yet we have all realized that something that small truly can flip your world and body inside out. I just really need some support and encouragement. I have none. My husband is great when he is home but works out of town so is gone most of the time. I have the kids here but I try to hide it from them as much as possible. My friends just don't get it. They know I'm struggling but also feels like everyone thinks I'm crazy.

[Guest [Ma...]]

Hi Jenniferr,

I agree.... ..so much more difficult the 2nd or 3rd time around! I too, tried twice to discontinue K - could not do it. I too have children to raise while navigating this nightmare - not easy.

While on K, I found the throat issue, difficulty swallowing, very disturbing & frightening. I found sucking on cough drops helpful and always having water on hand.

Do you have a solid net work of friends to help out if needed?

I wish you the best as you continue your taper.

Marija

 

[[Je...]]

I have a few close friends but no network. My closest friends just moved hours away and the couple that I have here, well, between work and kids there is never any time. And again, it seems as if people think I'm crazy or are tired of hearing about it or maybe it's all in my head thinking in a burden.

[[Di...]]

Good luck to you, Jenn.

 

Hope things will go well for you.

 

[[Ch...]]

Hope it's going okay so far, Jenniferrr.