How many moods is it possible to have in one day???!!!

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I was wondering if anyone else was experiencing crazy mood swings during their taper. I have small windows of good moments, followed by moments when I feel I will never feel normal again and see my old friends or do things like go camping, kayak, etc ever again. This would be bad enough with just the physical symptoms, much less the psychological torment. I have counted at least 4 moods just today. The psychological withdrawal would be a lot easier if the physical was not so rough.

 

Red

[[Be...]]

Well, that describes withdrawal for me, particularly when it gets close to times I take my doses.

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I think the paranoia of always feeling like this is the worst mood for me. Not helping it has been cloudy and crappy for 2 days here in Virginia. My mom died of brain cancer about 12 years back, and I could not believe her mental fortitude after being a severe diabetic for 28 years. She felt crappy every day, and it rarely got her down. I need that kind of strength. Guess that is why God made me so rugged physically... At 6'2 and 225 pounds, my body has taken some abuse. Lost 50 pounds in three months pre detox.

 

P.S-Why don't detox centers even allow benzo users to enter. No way I could survive another 3 day rapid detox....

[[Be...]]

Red-

 

I get so many moods in a day that I've gotten to the point I don't trust whatever mood I'm in. It's up and down all day. It's traumatizing.

[Guest [...]]

I go from feeling decent ( maybe a it shaky ) in the morning, to crying ten minutes later, to feeling kind of okay to feeling this is endless and hopeless to thinking it's just temporary, all in an hour.

When it hits.

It's pretty common in withdrawal.

Your central nervous system isn't what it is supposed to be right now, so it's not that weird.

And your brain is trying to find balance. And all that good stuff, which feels like hell.

 

So yes... I think many have mood swings. To the point of being diagnosed with for example bipolar disorder , which it isn't.

It's all withdrawal.

Sorry your have to go through it. It sucks. Hard.

But it won't be forever. It's all benzo lies, our brains telling us we never will get off this stuff.

But we Will.

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Some days it just wears you out though. I know we are healing, but it sure is hard to remember that on many days. I have never felt agoraphobic in my life for example...until now. I guess it is fear of sensory overload. Or perhaps feeling like others will judge. I don't know anymore. Maybe I should check back with my mood in 5 minutes and see what it thinks.

 

[Guest [...]]

Some days it just wears you out though. I know we are healing, but it sure is hard to remember that on many days. I have never felt agoraphobic in my life for example...until now. I guess it is fear of sensory overload. Or perhaps feeling like others will judge. I don't know anymore. Maybe I should check back with my mood in 5 minutes and see what it thinks.

 

yeah... Sounds like a plan.

Talk to your self and see if you can make one of your minds up. 

 

No seriously, I don't get it.

On days when things feel not too shitty, I try to hold,on to the thoughts that are more hopeful. But when IT hits, that's all out the window and it all goes.

I find it hard to communicate with people in real life. I don't even like when anyone drops by and I rarely answer the door. Just don't have energy for it, for chit chat.

And I can't count the times I left my cart full at the grocery store and just had to get out of there.

 

I feel,uncomfortable in large spaces, brightly lit stores ( Costco is pure hell) and stuff like that.

Social media ? I can't deal with it. It makes me feel like the weird one.

People do judge.

After spending weeks inside, some days I actually forced myself out and went to Starbucks. That was an accomplishment for me.

But if I ran Into someone there that I knew, I always got " it can't be that bad ( or she is better now) since she is out and about"

 

Stuff like that.

 

Okay, I'm going to crawl under my blanket and sob.

Or wait... No, I am going to put on a party hat.

[[Ba...]]

This really is a 4 seasons in one day process, and half the time I have my ski suit on in the sun, my umbrella up in mild sunlight and my swimmers in the snow.