Striving to decrease after 2 years of catastrophes

[[Ve...]]

I have had generalized anxiety disorder most of my life, punctuated by severe panic attacks (I was an abused child and was finally diagnosed with PTSD as an adult). This disorder started long before I ever knew what a benzodiazepine was. The psychiatrist prescribed xanax in addition to cognitive therapy. However, these last two years have been filled with tragic deaths and catastrophic losses in my life, and I made the awful mistake of taking more xanax out of desperation, trying to cope on my own, as the techniques of the therapist assigned to me during this time only seemed to upset me more during our sessions - this therapist has since been dismissed. But now I am earnestly trying to decrease my dosage of xanax from the 6mg I reached - very unfortunately - to at least as low as it was originally - 2 mg - or better, none at all. But I'm having a very hard time. I react badly to klonopin (gives me total insomnia!) and valium (makes me dull-headed and constantly groggy).

[[be...]]

Hi  Verseau:) Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

I am so sorry for you losses. You sounds like you have been through a lot.

 

You might like to check out The Ashton Manual it is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field. 

 

Please feel free to post to any of the dedicated boards, we have a wonderful community of people here, who will give sound advice. Members have been through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal and are more than willing to share their experiences.

 

General Taper Plans

 

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again Welcome! 

 

benzos-R-cruel

[[Je...]]

Way to go on stopping the alcohol, Verseau.    That is very difficult (was for me anyway).

 

Have you read much in the Success Stories posts here? 

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=89.0

 

*Jeepy*

 

 

[[Ve...]]

Thanks, Jeepy! 

 

I feel like this is starting to belong in another thread, but maybe some new arrivals with co-addiction like I had will be encouraged by reading this in the introductions. [Moderators, I am more than willing to have you relocate this post as you see fit.]

 

Yes, stopping all alcohol (EtOH) was very difficult but quick, relative to benzos. But I was finally advised on another forum that alcohol alone had to go first - completely - before I could even begin to tackle the xanax problem. I had failed many times trying to taper both alcohol and xanax at the same time, so I decided to accept their advice. I went through a week of the usual hell with alcohol withdrawal - but maintaining the xanax dosage during that time made it a little more bearable and do-able. I found a little glutamine helped reduce the cravings (but not the symptoms) - but too much glutamine made things worse - such a difficult balancing act!

 

This time, I was lucky to have the above advice (to stop alcohol completely before tapering xanax) along with the motivation of a couple of very scary "close calls" (one police and one medical). Plus, I was so fortunate to accidentally have the mutual commiseration of an old friend who just happened to be quitting and withdrawing at the same time.

 

So I finally got through it, and was alcohol-free for a week when I was astounded and pleased that very soon after the acute alcohol w/d was over, I suddenly needed much less xanax to quell the anxiety/panic and to sleep. I rapidly tapered from 6mg xanax a day to 4 or 4.5mg (according to the stress of the day, I've been taking the minimum to keep a lid on my anxiety and get enough sleep). That's the dosage I was taking a few years ago - suddenly just enough again. Alcohol alone was making me need 2mg more xanax to keep things bearable.

 

I never knew until recently that xanax and alcohol are medically recognized as co-addictive, i.e., the more alcohol you drink, the more xanax is needed to stop anxiety or panic; and the more xanax you take, the more alcohol is required to reach any pleasant "buzz" at all - the two keep "one-upping" each other, so the amounts needed to get any effect from either one get greater and greater. (I've read that they both act on the same brain receptors, even though their effects feel quite different - at least, they do to me.)

 

But as for co-addictive tolerance, at 6 mg of xanax a day, a full glass of wine had no more effect on me than a glass of water. And the 6 mg of xanax was hardly enough to keep me from insomnia and anxiety. I know this does not reflect many initial experiences with dangerously combining alcohol and xanax (which can make one pass out and even die), but in me and other long-term users, it got this way after building up tolerance over the years.

 

I used to be a moderate drinker, averaging a glass of wine a day, but a number of traumas in my life in recent years and the doctor's recommendation of xanax changed that to dangerous alcohol abuse. My ex-doctor prescribed xanax while actually recommending that I stick with a glass of wine a day for "my cardiovascular health"! He knew nothing about the co-addiction of alcohol and xanax, or even the dangers of going cold turkey from benzos!!! My pharmacist called him a few months ago to inform him! It's sad and unnerving that some physicians have little understanding of the benzodiazepines they prescribe.

 

But all these years (see below), I kept escalating both, being so stressed and grief-stricken by traumatic events in my life that I wasn't really caring about the horrible degree of addictions that I was developing, and completely ignorant of the actual cause of such scarily growing tolerances .

 

I'm going to plateau at 4mg xanax until the symptoms at present - Raynaud's syndrome, hot and cold flashes, poor sleep patterns, racing mind, dissociation - subside, and then try slow 0.5mg cuts, as I did (quite rapidly) after alcohol.

 

Given my own personal impatient nature, once I finally get going on something, I would rather bear uncomfortable symptoms for a while than do meticulously small cuts - the painstaking process itself makes me as anxious as withdrawal - but please, that's just me - it's a good method for many others. I continue to take a full array of nutritional supplements, making sure that B1 and magnesium are never lacking, and eat healthy meals. I've just had a complete blood analysis done again (by a new doctor), and everything looks fine - better than I feel, actually, but blood tests rarely show brain and nerve conditions from benzos!

 

Verseau