Feeling Trapped

[[ch...]]

I'm feeling very trapped right now. My health from the taper is deteriorating rapidly and I'm getting absolutely no help from my doctor (s). They just don't seem to understand withdrawal and when I ask what I should do, if I should taper or hold they don't tell me anything. It's as if they don't want to help me. If I reinstate, won't I eventually just have to go on higher and higher doses? I can't even find a benzo wise doctor in my state.....I'm scared I'm going to die and I have no place to turn except for this forum of strangers from around the country who are in no more position to help than anyone else. Can anyone relate to this? I never thought I'd be so desperate.

[[be...]]

I'm feeling very trapped right now. My health from the taper is deteriorating rapidly and I'm getting absolutely no help from my doctor (s). They just don't seem to understand withdrawal and when I ask what I should do, if I should taper or hold they don't tell me anything. It's as if they don't want to help me. If I reinstate, won't I eventually just have to go on higher and higher doses? I can't even find a benzo wise doctor in my state.....I'm scared I'm going to die and I have no place to turn except for this forum of strangers from around the country who are in no more position to help than anyone else. Can anyone relate to this? I never thought I'd be so desperate.

 

You're not gonna die, Cheeker. This the game that benzos love to play. I'm sorry you don't get any help from your doctors, and you say there isn't a good one in your entire state. I don't know where you live, but if I were as desperate as you I would google, "benzo-wise psychiatrists in XXX, XX." Or you can try the next step and google addiction specialist psychiatrists in XXXX, XX. Even addiction specialists often don't have a clue either. But I think it's a good idea to take a chance because you are going nowhere fast. If you reinstate, and have already reached tolerance, then there 's a fair chance that it won't be enuf medication  to satisfy your brain. fwiw, I don't think anyone here could even imagine how desperate the situation can get, so at least you are not alone with these thoughts. Take care Cheeker. I am rooting for you. There always are ways to manage your troubles. Sometimes, when you least expect it.

[[ch...]]

Thank you  BenzoGirl. I'm currently seeing an addiction specialist but he doesn't believe in the Ashton Taper and doesn't seem to understand benzo dependence.

[[ma...]]

Hi Cheeker

 

I know its tough for you right now, it will get better with more time. The window for reinstatement is about 2/3 weeks after your last dose, it doesn't always work. If it was me I would hang in,and try and tough it out, you will get through it.

 

Magrita

 

Here is what Ashton says:

 

Reinstatement after withdrawal?

 

Many benzodiazepine users who find themselves in this position have withdrawn too quickly; some have undergone 'cold turkey'. They think that if they go back on benzodiazepines and start over again on a slower schedule they will be more successful. Unfortunately, things are not so simple. For reasons that are not clear, (but perhaps because the original experience of withdrawal has already sensitised the nervous system and heightened the level of anxiety) the original benzodiazepine dose often does not work the second time round. Some may find that only a higher dose partially alleviates their symptoms, and then they still have to go through a long withdrawal process again, which again may not be symptom-free.

[[ch...]]

@[Ma...]

 

Thank you for your kind words, though. 

[[be...]]

Thank you  BenzoGirl. I'm currently seeing an addiction specialist but he doesn't believe in the Ashton Taper and doesn't seem to understand benzo dependence.

 

I think the ratio is about 1:100. 

[[ma...]]

@Margrita, I have not finished my taper yet. That probably wasn't clear from my post. When I said 'reinstate' what I really meant was go back up to a higher dose. Part of my concern is that if I'm feeling this lousy already, how am I going to feel towards the end of the taper, and then to jump?

 

Thank you for your kind words, though. 

 

Ok gotcha!!..  Cheeker I know you feel lousy, it will change, I promise you.  You don't know how you will feel as you get lower, we are all different.  This journey  sucks and can be relentless ... but its temporary remember that. I would try if you possibly can not to updose, its easy to make a habit of it and it means you will be covering old ground all the time.

 

You can do this cheeker 

 

Magrita