something new tonight

[Guest [su...]]

:crazy: oh boy now all sxs are gone except the insane feeling.. oh my god am i really crazy now??this is very scary for me.. anyone go through this??

[[Ha...]]

Tell urself it's just benzo wd! Yes I have this more than one time. Distract as much as u can! In sorry u have this we stopped the same month and year. Crazy we are getting hit by new stuff. Keep going ur not crazy!!

 

Happy me

[[Mo...]]

Sussie, don't worry, its a famous Benzo-lie, it will pass,

stay strong please.

[Guest [su...]]

thanks happy and morreweg.. i don't know what i would do without this forum i slept good last night and i'm still sane this morning i think.. i feel a bit depressed this morning and no emotions.. god when do they come back?? i feel like staying in bed all day..

[Guest [su...]]

god when does it end?i've been in bed more this month then any other month.. this is awful. 6 weeks use come on god end it for me somehow..my head throbs with d/r and i don't even know anymore .i'm so upset i don't know if i can even talk about it anymore..  when will it end??sorry i had to vent..i think i'm ready to give up..

[[Mo...]]

god when does it end?i've been in bed more this month then any other month.. this is awful. 6 weeks use come on god end it for me somehow..my head throbs with d/r and i don't even know anymore .i'm so upset i don't know if i can even talk about it anymore..  when will it end??sorry i had to vent..i think i'm ready to give up..

 

Not fair i know, 6 weeks use doesn't seem long, somehow its long enough for people to suffer

like you. keep going sussie, day by day, baby steps....its the only way.

[Guest [su...]]

god morreweg i don't even fell human anymore, how do people come back from all this torture?? everyday my heart aches for my life to come back.. i just want to feel human again.. i keep trying but nothing is working. i'm scared to be like this for the rest of my life..

[[Mo...]]

god morreweg i don't even fell human anymore, how do people come back from all this torture?? everyday my heart aches for my life to come back.. i just want to feel human again.. i keep trying but nothing is working. i'm scared to be like this for the rest of my life..

 

Nope, won't be for the rest of your life ! you should see me, like a lab rat which has managed to

escape,   you will feel human again , you know why ? cause i am starting to feel human again,

holy crap this is, but we won't let a bloody pill destroy our life, will we ?

 

[Guest [su...]]

morreweg i'm glad you're starting to  feel normal again and i hope i do soon.. i'm trying really hard but it's breaking my heart because i can't be with my family or even go outside my bedroom this month... last month i went shopping a few days and drove my car a few times.. i wasn't healed but i was able to push myself and now i'm back in bed.. why oh why??

[[Mo...]]

sussie,  from what I've watched here this is not unusual quite normal .

next months will be different again, 2 steps forward and one back,

a cat and mouse game, a nasty one. don't loose hope, your time will come

and my one better as well, or else . :boxer:

[[La...]]

Sussie, stop "trying." Theres little you can do to expedite the healing. Your not insane and you will most assuredly get your life back. Give up? Thatsounds like desperation,  in reality, you know you will never reinstate. It would send you back to the hell you are emerging from. Your window will come. 😀

[Guest [su...]]

thanks laser, it's so hard to accept these feelings because i'm scared if i accept them for what they are that they'll never go away and i'll never get better..

[Guest [su...]]

i wonder if it's true, that we become our illness? maybe i can't come back because of that...

[[La...]]

There is certainly a huge psychological component to this illness/healing. Having a positive and hopeful mindset is essential. 

[Guest [su...]]

laser it's hard to be possitive when you wakeup every morning and have suicidal thoughts and fear and the thoughts that this is never going to end and you'll never be yourself again.. then i read some success stories and they say they're 100% and then read later and they say they're 95% or less. why do they do that?? so does that mean we regress again??

[[La...]]

sussie:

 

ive had these same thoughts as you in the past. but they seem to have disappeared. for good? dont know cant be sure, but i hope so.  when i wrote my success story I was NOT 100% healed. My definition of success did not require 100% perfection. When I wrote it, I was doing VERY well. Yes, since that story, I had some setbacks. But I will not recant any of those words in my story, nor do I need to. They were and are still true. It boils down to ones deifnition of success. Yes, we can oscillate from 100% to 95% (or lower) like a yo yo for some time. but that is part of this benzo process fro many it seems. In my taper, I had excruciating sxs, many of them; now even though I not 100% perfectly healed, my worst day is billions times better than my best day duing the taper. Back and forth it goes, but at the same time, it gets better, just hard to see it sometimes. I really do feel great, and have been doing exceptionally well now for between 1 and 2 months, continuous days of good feelings with no waves. The occasional very minor head zap or sound sensitivity, etc, will come through, but its so minor it barely even registers.

 

I really had the same thoughts as you prior. Who knows, I could even get them again....but hope not.

 

[Guest [su...]]

thank you laser...

 

your words mean a lot to me because you are honest.. i'm glad you're feeling so good lately you sure deserve it after all the time you spent tapering and all the time after.. i'll try to stay possitive but it's so hard when i haven't felt like my old self for so long and i don't have windows only a crapy baseline.. i remeber thinking when we started this journey thinking it was going to be a short time healing... lol! i got the shock of my life... thanks again for your pep talk, i need one every now and then.. :smitten: