150 Days and getting worse - i think

[[do...]]

150 days. I think I am insane.......The mental psych stuff is unbearable and surreal. HELP!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

 

I cant think my way out and I don't understand this and how to get out.

 

I really need words of encouragement right now.

[[do...]]

Please can I hear from someone tonight......I need help.......is this really withdrawl......and can I get welll

[Guest [Or...]]

Its withdrawal!!

[[th...]]

Hi, I don't know what is going on with you. All I know is it's a brutal process for some of us and we just have to hold on. Time is really the only thing that will help  . Be happy you are off it now...that is a huge step!! Hang on....

 

G

[[Fi...]]

Hang in there, Dolphins.  Sounds like withdrawal to me.  One word you'll find used in every post describing this state is "hell."  That says it.  There's no way through it but through it.  Sometimes these horrid states can lift amazingly quickly.  Lots of people here pulling for you.

[Guest [fu...]]

I always read that people's worst days of symptoms come before the massive windows. Hold tough buddie, so many people rooting for you!

You WILL HEAL!!! FOR SURE!

[[ma...]]

Dolphin I had a terrible day and thought I just can't do this anymore. The mental stuff was just too much. Called my girlfriend and told her I can't go on. She encouraged me to just hang on and it would pass like always. A couple of hours later it just let up. Went to dinner withy kids. Had a bond fire and now in bed. It was like a total 180. Just hang on this stuff will end!

[[do...]]

It is with me from dawn until I go to sleep for a number of years...moreso since I came off the drug.

 

Everyday.....everyday......did anyone else go through the mental anquish for that long?

[[ma...]]

I believe it will get better if you give your brain a chance to do what God intended it to do. You are not crazy, broken, or insane. You have been drugged for a long time and told you have a problem by docs for years. Yes we are different but not insane. Let your brain heal and you will be able to deal with this. You are just healing from a drug that was not made to be taken like we have taken it. There is a reason benzos are not supposed to be taken for more than a week or two. This is why.

[Guest [ma...]]

It is with me from dawn until I go to sleep for a number of years...moreso since I came off the drug.

 

Everyday.....everyday......did anyone else go through the mental anquish for that long?

 

Yes from 2004 - 2012 while on and off benzos and Z drugs numerous times. During tolerance w/d, interdose w/d and several c/ts all b/c I did not know the drugs were the cause. And then non stop all day and night for a very long time since Feb 2012 after stopping all drugs. But guess what...........it's gone now.

 

Sorry you are going through this. Your brain just does not have enough brakes right now. You will heal with the right amount of time for you. Take good care. mandala

[[do...]]

Is it normal in this condition to always go back into the past to find out what went wrong or to try and remember what I felt like?

[[Pi...]]

yes, i ruminate about the past a lot.. im suffering as much as you are, and myself as well - dont know what to do. waiting is really what we have to do, but i dont know how to make time go by faster.. and having to wait it out is too much suffering... i wish we could find out a catch to getting through this in an easier way....

[[Co...]]

I'm right there with you. When I'm feeling ok I think why was I getting so crazy? Now that I'm suffering again I can't stop thinking crazy nor can I remember feeling ok. It's like 2 different people. I really can't do it much longer.

[[Fi...]]

Cool35--Actually, you CAN keep at this.  I know because I can't tell you how many times I've said (or yelled!) I

[[Fi...]]

Whoops-hit post too fast.  I can't remember how many times I've yelled I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!  But then I keep doing it.  And you will too.  We've come too far to stop now.  Don't they say in AA or somewhere DON'T QUIT BEFORE THE MIRACLE?  We might be feeling a whole lot better very soon.

[[do...]]

What can I do to help this along when in total agony?

 

What should I do with myself each day when I don't know what to do? And when I do do something it is very hard to do?

[[Fi...]]

Can you watch DVDs?  This has been my last resort, passive, go-to activity when I need to JUST STOP TRYING TO THINK MY WAY OUT OF THIS.  I watched the whole series of How I Met Your Mother and found it just the right mix of humor and pathos in a fast-paced package.  The characters actually LIKE each other which is more soothing than watching something where people just rag on each other all the time.  Even if I didn't need to use headphones, I liked the idea that all this was going straight into my brain and bypassing my own sick thought pattern.

[[do...]]

I do experience weird mental stuff when watching? Do you?

[[Fi...]]

No, actually, I don't.  In fact, I haven't had a lot of the symptoms many people write of--these electrical brain zaps or this business of derealisation.  I really have no idea what that's about.  This is why I started a thread asking for stories from people who've been withdrawing from benzos AND opioids.  Even though I'm almost two full years off of Oxycodone and just 15 months off the benzo, I'm thinking that surely some of my lingering symptoms must be from the opioids.

 

That's rough if you can't watch a DVD.  People do talk about not being able to read and concentrate on things.

 

What about music?  I have this CD that's called Music to Promote Positive Thinking.  I swear, it works!  It's supposed to be specially formulated chords that work on your brain in ways I can't understand.  Or even whatever spa type music?  I've done a lot of sleeping with that stuff in my earbuds.

 

Are you anywhere where you can just sit and gaze at the horizon?  That's supposed to produce endorphins. Sorry I don't have more ideas, but hang in there.  Maybe soon you'll progress to where watching DVDs WILL work for you!