Feel like I am losing my mind...help!!! :(

[Guest [Or...]]

This is the worst wave I have ever felt. I feel like I am slowly slipping into madness. My mind is so fucked up. It feels like I'm going to lose control or become retarded. I can't explain the sensation...but seriously??? I have never been this bad for so long. Ever. Its really scaring me. What if this isn't withdrawal and I am going crazy....I was never this bad in acute. Ever. Period. I'm a mess!!! I need reassurance or help....otherwise I'm going inpatient. Nobody gets this bad mentally on a consistent basis. Its been a slow decline. Is this dimentia?? Losing it... @_@

[[ma...]]

This is definitely withdrawal Orionbash, I felt like I was going completely insane too, my mind just kept obsessing over my withdrawal symptoms convincing me I was losing my mind. You will get better, but it's going to take some time and you're nearly out of the worst months

[Guest [Or...]]

Thank you!! I just literally feel like I'm going to go insane and lose control. Or be unable to be a human...its hard to explain. And the worst part is that my first 2 months were a joke compared to this!!! Seriously!!! I have never ever been this bad. I always say how my withdrawal has never been bad....and, well, now it is. Omg. I have never felt this much mental torture...and its constant. Never giving up. Relentless. I always had relief in the evenings...I'm really scared

[Guest [su...]]

orion it's part of the package i was just like you when i first started out and around the same time it hit me the same way.. i know exactly what you're talking about.. EXACTLY I CAN'T STRESS THOSE WORDS ENOUGH.. it comes and goes with me now, but from about 5 months until 9 months it was bad for me.. it might not be for you.. but i'm still here and sane most days, but it's not pleasant when this happens.. hang in and hang on.. sorry for being truthful..

[Guest [Or...]]

Thank you Sussie. Its so nice to know I'm not alone...but this is terrible omg. Relentless!!! I have never been slammed so hard. Most days were doable. Very uncomfortable...but doable. This is insane!!!!

[Guest [su...]]

you are not alone for sure.. this feeling is sooooooo scary i cry so hard when i get it now, i scream because i hate it so much. it makes me feel so insane lke i'm never going to be me again or sane agin.. but i'm still under this madness because when it stops it me again. this morning i have it again but it does get less intense but still scares the crap out of you..hopefully it passes fast for you.. i don't understand why our brains can't heal faster?? :'(

[Guest [Or...]]

I know!!! It makes no sense...and I don't know why every month gets worse for me!!! Its awful omg. Like the breathing issues were a joke compared to this. This is insanity and its way too close for comfort. I'm alone right now and super scared. Just 9 hours until I'm not alone...I can do this I hope.

[Guest [su...]]

you can do it just remember you're not going insane it only feels like it.. these is so scary. i would pray to god to take me every night and still i have days that i pray for him to take me.. this is hard core stuff but everyone gets through it so we have to hang on for the glorious day when we get our lives back and god i hope it's soon..

[Guest [Or...]]

I've been doing the same. I would rather die than go insane. Omg. I'm not suicidal. I don't want to die, but I certainly don't want to live either. This is too much for 3 weeks of use. Omg.

[[ma...]]

Orion I get the top. Does not happen as often for me now but it still comes and goes sometimes. Had it this weekend pretty bad. Understand the retarded feeling. Not sure what happens but it is like my brain just starts to shit down. I can't process information very well. I know what I am doing but everything else around me is insignificant. If someone asked me about anything other than what I am doing at the time i can't shift gears and process it. It let up about an hour after it started and I was OK. Like I said it does not happen as often now and I recognize it now and know it is not the norm. Hang in there.

[Guest [Or...]]

Thanks Martin. Really appreciate it. Just hars to believe all of this cane from 3 weeks of use. Just awful. If I was a long term user. Fine. But like...omg. @_@

[Guest [su...]]

i always say the same thing 6 weeks of use and all this pain, i always cried to my husband please don't let me live if i go insane i feel the same way as you.. i'd rather lose a limb. this morning i'm bad too i feel the same way and crying and begging to god again but later today it will probably go away..

[Guest [Or...]]

Mine usually goes away. But lately its been the same intensity all day...normally I could deal because I always knew if I got to the evening it would get better. Not anymore...its been my 4th day of this now. Starting to feel permanent. Ugh. And here I thought I'd be healed by now because I was a short term user. I wanted to heal so I could give hope to other short termers. Nope. Probably headed straight for protracted. And I don't mess around!!! I'm not taking support meds. I sleep through the night. It makes NO sense!!!!

[Guest [su...]]

i think i'm just going to stay in bed with my head covered up until it's all gone.. i wasn't able to do anything this month, last month i was going out a bit and now back into hell again.hope this is the last month of hell for us..

[Guest [Or...]]

Its pure insanity...and what confuses me is that a lot of people heal faster on YouTube than here. I can think of like 2 people that are protracted. that's fine. But I can think of way more that healed in under a year. It scares the shit out of me. I don't want to be this bad for the next 6 months!!! Pure torture.

[Guest [su...]]

i used to think the same being a short term user and never took a pill before, but it didn't work that way.. from what i see on here most people go for a year at least.. sorry to say that.. i spoke to a specialist in TORONTO CANADA and he told me to expect at least a year. and i'm almost finished my 11th month..

[Guest [Or...]]

You are so close!!! My psychiatrist said 6 months for me. Dunno if that will be accurate. We will see....omg I feel like I'm really losing it today. Everything is blurry and doesn't feel real. Chest is tight. Like all of my worst side effects intensified....to ininifty +. This wave better not last long. Or if its my final wave...I'm down with that. But omfg...if not and it only gets worse I will cry.

 

I kept telling myself, "This isn't do bad. How much worse can it get??" And now I know...brutal.

[Guest [su...]]

it was really bad for me, to the point i became very suicidal and my husband had to watch me 24/7 but it got better and then bad and so on.. i hope if it gets too bad you have someone to stay with you.. i hate being so honest about this because i don't want to scare you but i'd rather hear the truth, then i would have known what to expect at least.. i think short termers have a harder time with mentals, i know myself and germangirl did.. i think though that men have a easier time then women in most cases.. my opinion only... please tell me if i'm being too honest..

[Guest [Or...]]

No no its OK!!! I prefer honesty. Ugh, man...I don't think I can be alone right now. But I have no choice. Sucks.

[Guest [su...]]

it's hard but i'll assure you will come out of it.. and you're not going insane, if you can walk ,talk, think and write on bb like this than you are not insane.. it does help to have someone with you because it's scary.. when i first c/ted i had nights that i told my husband to lock me up because i felt so insane and nights i didn't know who i was or who he was.. now that's crazy...

[Guest [Or...]]

I've never had moments like that. What scares me is that my symptoms get worse as time goes on. Not sure if that's specific to Clonazepam...but my god. It makes me think I have some degeneterative brain disease like alzheimers or dementia. But I can remember stuff fine...I just have a feeling like I'm going crazy. Its like a panic attack without the actual panic attack...brutal!!!

[Guest [su...]]

yes i had the same sx for a long time.. for months but it would come and go.. it normal for w/d many people have it and yes i understand the feeling perfectly. hang on tight..i still get it and when i do i think the same as you..

[Guest [su...]]

do you get that feeling like you've lost your soul and empty inside with no emotions like joy or love??

[[sa...]]

I'm sorry you're hurting. What you're feeling is what makes me desperate to be taken I'm so I'm not alone.  Spend weekends at stepmoms which helps a ton but can't stay longer. Hard to leave and be alone.

[Guest [Or...]]

Aussie - I've had that. But like most of my symptoms they cycled quickly. My only consistent symptom since day 1 was a tight feeling in chest and a diaphragm that didn't seem to be doing stuff right. Everything else cycled with cortisol surges. The fact that I have had this feeling for 4 days straight scares the hell out of me. Aside from the breathing stuff I have never, ever had a symptom last this long. Its awful.

 

Satch - I feel you. I'm lucky to have someone at night and on weekends. But you may not get that, so hang on and we will beat this.