Weight Troubles

[[th...]]

Is anyone else exercising consistently (3-6 days per week, for at least a month) and unable to lose any weight or inches? I have been struggling with weight gain ever since I began taking clonazepam. I shot up to 190 lbs. (at 5'7") a few years ago, and lost the weight by exercising every day and severely limiting my diet (became vegan) and got down to 135 lbs. I stabilized somewhere around 140 lbs. for 2 years and was always able to lose weight relatively easily - I always saw results pretty quickly. I stopped taking clonazepam and almost immediately began gaining weight. I weighed myself and I'm 169 lbs. today... I work out 6 days per week, for at least 30 minutes per day and I'm not exactly dieting but I watch what I eat (it's difficult to be vegan when I'm unemployed) and I just keep gaining. I've been doing this for 3 months and I'm not losing inches or pounds. I have completed the 30-Day Shred (Jillian Michaels) and have been experimenting with different machines at the gym recently because I've been so frustrated. Ran 3 miles 3 days per week and still got no results.

 

What's up with that?! Is anyone else having this problem? Working out makes me feel sick to my stomach most days so if I don't start losing weight I'm just going to give up. I know how to work out and have good form and an OK diet... Can anyone explain this to me?

 

Thanks!!

[Guest [ba...]]

I'm much the same.  Weight has been an issue for me most of my life.  I got to being borderline obese, then got dedicated and dropped a bunch of weight a couple of years ago.  I held pretty steady until I dropped Ativan.  Initially, I lost even more weight, but then I gained a fair bit.  It's been a struggle for me to lose it.  At first, it was the lethargy from the withdrawal (and I gave myself 'pity' food when I was feeling crappy).  Now, it's mostly because I'm not as dedicated to the diet part as I was a couple of years ago.  If I don't religiously count calories, I'll consume an extra 500-1000 calories for the day without evening noticing what I'm doing.  Only takes a couple of days like that per week to undo 4-5 'good' days.

 

I have little doubt that this stuff affects our metabolism, but I invite you to continue working out (maybe not to the point of feeling sick).  Maybe try to track the calories more carefully to see if you're really eating what you think you're eating.  In my case, I think that I'll be counting calories for the rest of my life if I want to stay fit.  I hate that I have to do that; I always feel hungry when I'm within my calorie allocation.  And I really love food - especially unhealthy food.  But like the benzo withdrawal, I think continuing weight management is for my own good in the long run.

[Guest [jc...]]

I've been tracking my  calories on livestrong.com.  It's free and it's a great program.  That's the only thing that works for me.  i agree that when we don't keep track of everything we eat, we lose track of all the extra calories we consume and it ends up as extra pounds.

[[Te...]]

I think Klonopin w/d causes a lot of people to gain weight no matter what. I started noticing it a month or so before tapering ended. Benzo belly has been bad at times also.

[[th...]]

badsocref & jc215,

 

I do track my calories - I use the MyPlate app on my phone because it's portable and I can track my water intake as well as any calories burned due to exercise. I usually consume less than 1200 calories per day; I eat a lot of carbs but cutting down on them never had any effect on my weight gain/loss. I'm pretty mindful about my food.

 

Terry38,

 

I've seen a lot of complaints about Klonopin and weight gain during withdrawal - I wonder what specifically causes it?

 

 

Thanks for your responses!!

[Guest [jc...]]

I had put on lots of weight while taking klonopin but lost over 30 lbs. in the first month of withdrawal.  Now the weight creeps back on but that's partly due to the Remeron I take.  I easily lose weight if I stay under 1400 calories and walk daily.  I don't know what could be causing it for you, maybe is a metabolic issue from the klonopin.  Maybe someone more knowledgeable will chime in here.

[Guest [ba...]]

I've been tracking my  calories on livestrong.com. 

 

I was a member of the 100 pound challenge on livestrong.com.  Sadly, that group was deleted when they moved to the new and improved format a year or so ago.

[Guest [jc...]]

I've been using their myplate dashboard for the last year and I love it, it really helps me keep my weight on track.

[[Fi...]]

Glad to see you guys writing about this.  Too bad I don't have any great advice.  I haven't been able to consistently keep up my usual exercise programs and with a recent bad wave packed on a few more pounds to now be at my highest ever in my life this morning.  I just feel like things are off in my brain and have kind of given myself permission to not put weight loss so high on the list until I feel better.  Too much beating myself up for things I can't help!  I would sure love to hear from somebody who felt their metabolism and everything else clicked back into place when they were finally well!  But those folks are probably gone, enjoying life again.

[[Co...]]

I gained almost 40 lbs when I quit valium. The same thing happened to me, I couldn't lose a pound. I cut all the junk out eventually and was basically eating low carb cuz that's what made my withdrawal mire manageable. I still didn't lose any weight! I used to lose massive weight on a low carb diet.  Around 1 year off it just started falling off. I went from 202 to 180 in a couple of months. Now I'm stuck at 180 but I'll take it.

[[Co...]]

I don't and can't exercise at all ever. Even walking too much flares me up bad.

[[Fi...]]

Okay, I'm hoping for a story like Cool35's!  The weight can just start falling off any time, I'm ready!

[[ba...]]

hello artist trap nice name !!! 

 

you can try this,  its effective in weight loss drink a full cup of water BEFORE your meals this will curb your appetite some and you'll be full with less food. also this is very VERY important dont eat meals or any heavy snacks 3-4 hours before bed

 

169 pounds isnt bad at all your doing great 

[[ca...]]

I found that when I started to REALLY heal is when the weight started to come off on its own.  I still have benzo symptoms so I can only imagine the weight loss that awaits me when 12 months comes around the corner.  Withdrawal made me load up on carbs and the benzo belly had a life of its own.  At the 6 months mark I noticed insignificant weight loss, maybe a pound or two.  When 7 month hit, a whopping 10 pounds came off.  I can tell it was mostly water weight because I had a bloated look and i had an insane amount of urine output when I went to the loo.  With a healthy wholesome diet and some light exercise, I'm sure you can achieve it once you are feeling better.

[[Co...]]

Well I'm in full on acute for some reason and can't eat or drink anything. I've lost 6 lbs in 2 days. I think it was the peppermint tea I was drinking. So drink up if u want to be thrown into the wave of all waves so u can lose weight 

[[je...]]

I only gained 7 pounds in w/d but I could not lose any weight at all and I work out 5 days a week too. Then at around a 10-12 months out I lost the 7 pounds and its just like cool said it just fell off-- I didn't change my diet or workout routine. I'm doing the 30 day shred now and have been at it for over a month and while I haven't lost any weight ( feels like I'm at a standstill again) I have become much more toned. I'm just gonna keep pushing myself and hoping some more weight starts to fall off me again. This is very frustrating! Good luck everyone

[[dr...]]

Hi here theartist trap,

 

I have been off for only five weeks now but I have started running 1.5 to 2 miles everyday for the past two weeks. I run in the rain and the cold and hoping that I will shed some of this weight. Well, I have lost three pounds, but is quick to return if I don't run. It is below freezing and I thought that my lungs would burn, so I didn't run for the past two days and I gained back two pounds. Yes, it is very discouraging, because I am watching my food intake but not on a specific diet. I guess I should be, listening to all others who claim that if you don't follow a diet for a set amount of calories, you will eat more that you realize. I believe this to be true.

 

I have to disagree, I strongly feel that this taper or w/d whatever you want to call it, is directly related to weight gain muscle tone loss. If you Google muscle tone or weight gain in benzo withdrawal, you will see that GABA is the only chemical in the brain responsible for muscle tone. Many other articles state that yes, our HPA axis has been affected thus our metabolism has taken a huge hit as well. Prior to my taper, I was 110 pounds and very, very toned, not one inch to pinch. About the fifth month into my taper I started to gain fat, not only weight but a different kind of fat. I am flabby all over. My skin just sags, where as before I never had this appearance, and it repulses me. I gained twenty pounds of pure jiggly fat! So yes, I do think that the withdrawal has everything to do with what has happened to our bodies. How could it not, it was so grueling and horrific, that our bodies had to suffer, just as our brain did. Our brain controls everything that happens to our bodies. But our brain will heal and so will our bodies. The brain prioritizes, it will heal the most important first.

 

As far as the weight gain and muscle tone loss, I think that as our bodies heal, the more we will see much improvement, I am hopeful. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will begin to see results, but I think it is going to take time for all of us. I know it can get so discouraging, but this is how I see it. We went through HELL to come off these drugs, and for a long time a best. If we were able to devote the time need to get off these drugs than we owe it to ourselves to give it the time it takes to get what we lost back. We endured the hardest part, the rest is time for us, to heal and be the strong and happy people that we deserve to be. We invested so much to complete the taper, now let's invest the tie it takes to getting our bodies , minds, and souls back.

 

I am in a funk right now about my body, so I was happy to see that someone posted about this very issue. It is still early for most of us, but hang in there, things have to turn around. I refuse to believe that this is the body we are suppose to settle with. We are more than that, look what we just accomplished and we can do so much more for ourselves. I will not settle, none of us should. We have been through hell, and we will be happy with ourselves someday soon.

 

Hang in there everyone, and give it some time. It has to happen, I believe it will. Hell, there are seventy year old men gaining muscle and toning their bodies, they have a handicap, their age, we have the benzo handicap, but it is all behind us. We weren't left scarred, we can do it. This entire bizarre journey has been about time, I hate hearing it but it's true. So time and consistency is what we need to reclaim our bodies. Obviously, the way we look and perceive ourselves is important to us, we wouldn't be talking about it if that weren't the case. So whatever it is we want we will strive to achieve, in time, unfortunately, but we will get the results we are seeking. I do think we need to heal a bit more to start seeing results, but don't give up, stay the coarse.

 

Don't under estimate what we just accomplished, we have proven we can do great things. We deserve to be happy, and we will.

 

DF

[[ba...]]

Hi here theartist trap,

 

I have been off for only five weeks now but I have started running 1.5 to 2 miles everyday for the past two weeks. I run in the rain and the cold and hoping that I will shed some of this weight. Well, I have lost three pounds, but is quick to return if I don't run. It is below freezing and I thought that my lungs would burn, so I didn't run for the past two days and I gained back two pounds. Yes, it is very discouraging, because I am watching my food intake but not on a specific diet. I guess I should be, listening to all others who claim that if you don't follow a diet for a set amount of calories, you will eat more that you realize. I believe this to be true.

 

I have to disagree, I strongly feel that this taper or w/d whatever you want to call it, is directly related to weight gain muscle tone loss. If you Google muscle tone or weight gain in benzo withdrawal, you will see that GABA is the only chemical in the brain responsible for muscle tone. Many other articles state that yes, our HPA axis has been affected thus our metabolism has taken a huge hit as well. Prior to my taper, I was 110 pounds and very, very toned, not one inch to pinch. About the fifth month into my taper I started to gain fat, not only weight but a different kind of fat. I am flabby all over. My skin just sags, where as before I never had this appearance, and it repulses me. I gained twenty pounds of pure jiggly fat! So yes, I do think that the withdrawal has everything to do with what has happened to our bodies. How could it not, it was so grueling and horrific, that our bodies had to suffer, just as our brain did. Our brain controls everything that happens to our bodies. But our brain will heal and so will our bodies. The brain prioritizes, it will heal the most important first.

 

As far as the weight gain and muscle tone loss, I think that as our bodies heal, the more we will see much improvement, I am hopeful. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will begin to see results, but I think it is going to take time for all of us. I know it can get so discouraging, but this is how I see it. We went through HELL to come off these drugs, and for a long time a best. If we were able to devote the time need to get off these drugs than we owe it to ourselves to give it the time it takes to get what we lost back. We endured the hardest part, the rest is time for us, to heal and be the strong and happy people that we deserve to be. We invested so much to complete the taper, now let's invest the tie it takes to getting our bodies , minds, and souls back.

 

I am in a funk right now about my body, so I was happy to see that someone posted about this very issue. It is still early for most of us, but hang in there, things have to turn around. I refuse to believe that this is the body we are suppose to settle with. We are more than that, look what we just accomplished and we can do so much more for ourselves. I will not settle, none of us should. We have been through hell, and we will be happy with ourselves someday soon.

 

Hang in there everyone, and give it some time. It has to happen, I believe it will. Hell, there are seventy year old men gaining muscle and toning their bodies, they have a handicap, their age, we have the benzo handicap, but it is all behind us. We weren't left scarred, we can do it. This entire bizarre journey has been about time, I hate hearing it but it's true. So time and consistency is what we need to reclaim our bodies. Obviously, the way we look and perceive ourselves is important to us, we wouldn't be talking about it if that weren't the case. So whatever it is we want we will strive to achieve, in time, unfortunately, but we will get the results we are seeking. I do think we need to heal a bit more to start seeing results, but don't give up, stay the coarse.

 

Don't under estimate what we just accomplished, we have proven we can do great things. We deserve to be happy, and we will.

 

DF

 

Thanks DF

 

My weight gain began many years ago after I started an SSRI.  But the ballooning began after a few years on benzos.  As I approach 24 months of withdrawal hell, I am begining to see slight changes in my body.  I haven't lost much weight, but I'm "thinning out", so to speak.  I KNOW benzos screw with the endocrine system for some people.  I suddenly became hypothyroid with no explanation from medical teams.  And both my husband and I have a pseudo cushinoid appearance due to endocrine problems both related to benzodiazepine useage. 

 

I do believe it's getting better...

 

 

[[Fi...]]

Dragonfly--thanks for your inspiring post.  About six weeks ago when I was in a window I had a new personal best, which was making it to the gym three times in a row!  I felt so good and powerful in my weight lifting class.  I thought--what the hell?  If I could come through what I've just endured with the discipline to not go back on either an opioid or a benzo, I can sure have the discipline to do whatever it takes to drop this weight and get back in shape!.....And then I crashed and haven't been back to the gym and it seems like every day my weight is up.  I just think stuff is going on in our brains that prevents this at this time.  (You said it all better and more scientifically!) I feel as you do, that getting in shape again will be the cherry on the top of this little cake of healing!

[[Iw...]]

Hi here theartist trap,

 

I have been off for only five weeks now but I have started running 1.5 to 2 miles everyday for the past two weeks. I run in the rain and the cold and hoping that I will shed some of this weight. Well, I have lost three pounds, but is quick to return if I don't run. It is below freezing and I thought that my lungs would burn, so I didn't run for the past two days and I gained back two pounds. Yes, it is very discouraging, because I am watching my food intake but not on a specific diet. I guess I should be, listening to all others who claim that if you don't follow a diet for a set amount of calories, you will eat more that you realize. I believe this to be true.

 

I have to disagree, I strongly feel that this taper or w/d whatever you want to call it, is directly related to weight gain muscle tone loss. If you Google muscle tone or weight gain in benzo withdrawal, you will see that GABA is the only chemical in the brain responsible for muscle tone. Many other articles state that yes, our HPA axis has been affected thus our metabolism has taken a huge hit as well. Prior to my taper, I was 110 pounds and very, very toned, not one inch to pinch. About the fifth month into my taper I started to gain fat, not only weight but a different kind of fat. I am flabby all over. My skin just sags, where as before I never had this appearance, and it repulses me. I gained twenty pounds of pure jiggly fat! So yes, I do think that the withdrawal has everything to do with what has happened to our bodies. How could it not, it was so grueling and horrific, that our bodies had to suffer, just as our brain did. Our brain controls everything that happens to our bodies. But our brain will heal and so will our bodies. The brain prioritizes, it will heal the most important first.

 

As far as the weight gain and muscle tone loss, I think that as our bodies heal, the more we will see much improvement, I am hopeful. Just keep doing what you are doing and you will begin to see results, but I think it is going to take time for all of us. I know it can get so discouraging, but this is how I see it. We went through HELL to come off these drugs, and for a long time a best. If we were able to devote the time need to get off these drugs than we owe it to ourselves to give it the time it takes to get what we lost back. We endured the hardest part, the rest is time for us, to heal and be the strong and happy people that we deserve to be. We invested so much to complete the taper, now let's invest the tie it takes to getting our bodies , minds, and souls back.

 

I am in a funk right now about my body, so I was happy to see that someone posted about this very issue. It is still early for most of us, but hang in there, things have to turn around. I refuse to believe that this is the body we are suppose to settle with. We are more than that, look what we just accomplished and we can do so much more for ourselves. I will not settle, none of us should. We have been through hell, and we will be happy with ourselves someday soon.

 

Hang in there everyone, and give it some time. It has to happen, I believe it will. Hell, there are seventy year old men gaining muscle and toning their bodies, they have a handicap, their age, we have the benzo handicap, but it is all behind us. We weren't left scarred, we can do it. This entire bizarre journey has been about time, I hate hearing it but it's true. So time and consistency is what we need to reclaim our bodies. Obviously, the way we look and perceive ourselves is important to us, we wouldn't be talking about it if that weren't the case. So whatever it is we want we will strive to achieve, in time, unfortunately, but we will get the results we are seeking. I do think we need to heal a bit more to start seeing results, but don't give up, stay the coarse.

 

Don't under estimate what we just accomplished, we have proven we can do great things. We deserve to be happy, and we will.

 

DF

 

I love this

Very encouraging and gives hope.

I've gain buckets of fat over the years.  Couldn't figure out why the weight gain and difficulty in losing it only to keep gaining it over and over until bb and others stories. I don't feel like such a failure anymore.

The fat from benzos is different isn't it? It's soft and flabby, yuck. It makes sense that our brain is prioritizing.  It's also a great sign of healing when we are able to start focusing on our bodies and appearances. We are healing! 

[[dr...]]

Hi all,

 

Yes, we have been thrown into hell for months, some of us years, and have come out on the other side. What we have endured is not for the weak, we are strong and have proven that we can do anything we set our minds to do. The worst and hardest is  behind us, we are on our way up, and now is when the healing truly begins.

 

babyrex, You are correct in saying that benzo withdrawal affects the endocrine system, and for some of us it knocks the hell out of us. I was also diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, something my doctor said most definitely was caused by the withdrawal. I thought that when I started taking thyroid medication, in my case, Armour, I would see a difference in my body, but no such luck. Maybe in time I will, then again I am hoping that my body will start working on it's own and rectify all of this mess.  I hope the same holds true for you. It alludes me how some people aren't affected like others, but then again we all go through this differently. It is almost like a finger print, each one of us is so different. I hope your medication is at least bringing your numbers to within a normal range. I was lucky in that I didn't have to juggle my dose to get it right, it just happened. I wish you luck, once you start really healing, you may find that you don't need medication after all.  Wouldn't that be nice. Best wishes.

 

FinallyJoining63, I know the feeling and believe me it is discouraging. I started running and going strong for two weeks thinking to myself, this is great, I feel good and I am motivated enough to continue like this for as long as it takes to start seeing some results. Then out of no where BAM, I was thrown back to square one, taking it easy and so symptomatic. But it is no where near the square one in withdrawal, that I will say. I have to remind myself that I am still healing, and more so now than before. So I accept what I can do, knowing that I never have to go back to benzo withdrawal hell again, and that's encouraging. Keep making progress a little at a time, it will pay off. You have a good attitude about reclaiming your body, you remember the discipline it took to stop these drugs, and you are using the same discipline to achieve results that will make you feel better about yourself. I agree, our brain is working very hard to achieve a norm, (homeostasis) and until it is ready to start producing what ever chemical is need to ignite our metabolism, we can only do so much to help it. Another waiting game. Hang in there for the cherry on top, its coming.

 

Iwant2befree, Boy am I happy that you mentioned the repulsive flab that I have never seen before, it is all over! My body has the composition of an old big FAT woman, kinda like my old Italian grand ma ma. My skin is flaccid and it hangs in rolls. I have gained weight before but nothing ever looked or felt like this. All I can think of is that it is lack of muscle tone because I have never seen this kind of jiggly fat before. Something most definitely happened during withdrawal to have caused this, it isn't normal fat or normal weight gain. It is very upsetting because I can manage to loose the weight gain, eventually that is, but this is something I am not familiar with and I am fearful that my skin wont go back. I have never had to lift weights, because I was always naturally toned, I was a swimmer for many years before I started running, so I had great muscle tone. I am thinking that I may have to do some resistant training or weight training to achieve what I have lost, bummer, I am so pissed! I am willing to do anything to get ME back. Let me know if you come across anything that will help us out. I'll keep searching myself and keep you posted. Hang in there!

[[ba...]]

Hi all,

 

Yes, we have been thrown into hell for months, some of us years, and have come out on the other side. What we have endured is not for the weak, we are strong and have proven that we can do anything we set our minds to do. The worst and hardest is  behind us, we are on our way up, and now is when the healing truly begins.

 

babyrex, You are correct in saying that benzo withdrawal affects the endocrine system, and for some of us it knocks the hell out of us. I was also diagnosed with Hypothyroidism, something my doctor said most definitely was caused by the withdrawal. I thought that when I started taking thyroid medication, in my case, Armour, I would see a difference in my body, but no such luck. Maybe in time I will, then again I am hoping that my body will start working on it's own and rectify all of this mess.  I hope the same holds true for you. It alludes me how some people aren't affected like others, but then again we all go through this differently. It is almost like a finger print, each one of us is so different. I hope your medication is at least bringing your numbers to within a normal range. I was lucky in that I didn't have to juggle my dose to get it right, it just happened. I wish you luck, once you start really healing, you may find that you don't need medication after all.  Wouldn't that be nice. Best wishes.

 

FinallyJoining63, I know the feeling and believe me it is discouraging. I started running and going strong for two weeks thinking to myself, this is great, I feel good and I am motivated enough to continue like this for as long as it takes to start seeing some results. Then out of no where BAM, I was thrown back to square one, taking it easy and so symptomatic. But it is no where near the square one in withdrawal, that I will say. I have to remind myself that I am still healing, and more so now than before. So I accept what I can do, knowing that I never have to go back to benzo withdrawal hell again, and that's encouraging. Keep making progress a little at a time, it will pay off. You have a good attitude about reclaiming your body, you remember the discipline it took to stop these drugs, and you are using the same discipline to achieve results that will make you feel better about yourself. I agree, our brain is working very hard to achieve a norm, (homeostasis) and until it is ready to start producing what ever chemical is need to ignite our metabolism, we can only do so much to help it. Another waiting game. Hang in there for the cherry on top, its coming.

 

Iwant2befree, Boy am I happy that you mentioned the repulsive flab that I have never seen before, it is all over! My body has the composition of an old big FAT woman, kinda like my old Italian grand ma ma. My skin is flaccid and it hangs in rolls. I have gained weight before but nothing ever looked or felt like this. All I can think of is that it is lack of muscle tone because I have never seen this kind of jiggly fat before. Something most definitely happened during withdrawal to have caused this, it isn't normal fat or normal weight gain. It is very upsetting because I can manage to loose the weight gain, eventually that is, but this is something I am not familiar with and I am fearful that my skin wont go back. I have never had to lift weights, because I was always naturally toned, I was a swimmer for many years before I started running, so I had great muscle tone. I am thinking that I may have to do some resistant training or weight training to achieve what I have lost, bummer, I am so pissed! I am willing to do anything to get ME back. Let me know if you come across anything that will help us out. I'll keep searching myself and keep you posted. Hang in there!

 

Hi DF,

 

I'm no longer taking any thyroid meds.  And I will not until my withdrawal symptoms subside which is when the true healing begins.  I need to let my brain and CNS heal from these poisons.  How will I ever get a baseline if I continue to feed my body unnecessary medications?

 

If I had a history of endocrine problems, I would be concerned. But I never did until tolerance and withdrawal.  I believe it may take a year or more for me to get an accurate blood test.  I'll just wait and see. 

 

Be careful with doctors, my friend.  You can really screw your thyroid up if you are not careful.  Endocrinologists... Well just Google/view patient satisfaction. 

 

Thank you again

[[Fi...]]

Wow, Dragonfly, you have really been through it!  Looking at all the drugs docs put you on and now you're off and getting well is truly inspiring.  I like your kick butt attitude!

 

On the subject of thyroid issues, I was put on thyroid meds about fifteen years back for hypothyroidism.  They almost didn't want to treat me, but I turn out to be a person who feels better when my number is kept in the lowest range, like under 1.0.  I had a big go around with a doc about ten years back when I said my symptoms had returned and I thought my meds needed upping.  He refused so I went on Lexapro briefly.  I was depressed.  It annoyed the hell out of me when he said I was probably just somebody who ought to be on antidepressants the rest of my life.  I was not!  They made me do some fancy tests and nothing changed, but finally they upped my synthroid a smidge and I felt fine.  Made a point of going right off the Lexapro without any issue.

 

In 2011 I started having trouble with depression again and when my new doctor agreed to up my dose, it was like a miracle.  Six months later I got depressed a gain and when I went back to the doc, surprise, my number had popped back up to 2.0.  She was kind of impressed that I could call it like that.  So, I've been very vigilant about my number and have had to beg for frequent testing.  Now, though, looking back on this period before the shit really hit the fan with my surgery and getting on Oxycodone, I realize that the little attacks of depression I was experiences and attributing to thyroid problems was probably Xanax tolerance developing and inter dose issues.  So now I'm looking forward to NOT having those issues when I get through this.

 

Dragonfly, I actually launched into all of this--wanting to get off of propranolol and getting a new knee--so that I could exercise more, get in better shape and be the best sixty-something woman I could be.  I was already doing tribal belly dance and loved it and wanted that new knee and a better bod so I could pull it off!  So the surgery was in September of 2012.  My surgeon said I'd be back dancing in 8 weeks.  Ha!  I very quickly forgot I was a recovering surgery patient and launched into the life of a recovering drug addict.

 

You say you were 110 pounds.  Care to share what you've gotten up to?  I hit my lifetime high this morning at 153.  Since I'm only 5'1" this is not good.  When I was 19 I couldn't eat after one of my many knee surgeries and I got down to 95 lbs.  Okay, that was too little.  My ribs showed.  But that shows what a huge range we're talking about here!  I could lose 30 pounds and not be one bit skinny!

[Guest [ba...]]

Truly inspirational, DragonFly!

[[ca...]]

I had some fat rolls for dinner!  Oh thats right..i didn't eat those..they are just situated in my stomach area.  . The gaba and muscle theory is very intriguing!  Is that why my face looks like its wrinkly and sagging?  Ive lost the only minute amount of muscle i had there?  I went from baby face asian to looking my age.  You've all heard the stereotype.  You can't tell an asians true age.  I can now say i do not conform to any stereotype lol.  I laugh.. But my face probably looks like its scowling!

 

On the thyroid front,  dating back to my antidepressant adventure, i had all sorts of body temperature fluxes.  I was always sweating and by the time i cold turkey, i converted to an icebox.  I come to find now that my thyroid glands are enlarged and i have high thyroid antibodies. (Hashimotos?) Can withdrawal cus the antibodies??  My levels come back normal but the enlarged gland is becoming bothersome.  I wonder if iodine can shrink it.  I was tested for iodine and it came back extremely low.  I thought it was impossible to have low iodine with all the salt we consume.