Please help me! Please.

[[do...]]

Hello,

I need some assistance with an issue due in part to the withdrawal process. Prior to my tapering off the benzo – I did in fact experience depression – but I just feel it was never to this degree of severity.  I can accept that my brain needs time to heal but did any of you experience excruciating depression from the time of waking until the time to sleep?  It is scary for me to anticipate this dark condition may be permanent and I will be like this no matter how long I do not take any benzos.  Would you be so kind and respond to my question with possibly offer some ray of hope -  I can emerge from this condition and have a sense of ‘life’ again?  I feel hopeless when I review my life and think I may never, ever recover from the brain damage caused by the benzos. 

Thank you.

[[Ri...]]

Hello Dolphins1,

You are in a very dark and awful place right now but things will look brighter again.  Depression is a terrible symptom of withdrawal and recovery but it will not be permanent.  You are still quite early on in your recovery, just hang on and you WILL start to feel better, I know I have been where you are and I know how much it sucks but you'll get there.

[Guest [ba...]]

I tried to find some guy named Ray who lived in a town called Hope to cheer you up (get it?  Ray of Hope??). 

 

When I've had depression, there have been two things that have snapped me out of it.  An immediate fix for me is a hearty belly laugh.  Obviously, you need to find a source of good (or bad) humor to make that approach work.  But it's quick and laughing feels sooooo good when you're down.

 

The other, more predictable approach for me is to do some sort of project (or even just plan for a project).  In fact, the last time that I was really down, somebody sent me an email requesting my help in their middle school science fair project.  The gears started turning in my head, and suddenly I was not thinking about depression (or its causes) at all.  A project can be something really simple like fixing or cleaning something around your home or apartment.  I'm sure you can think of a few possibilities.  Then you just need to set aside the nay-saying long enough to begin the project.  That is probably the most difficult part, but one that you have complete control over.  Once you've started, you'll be involved, distracted, busy.  As the project moves along, you can take in the progress.  It feeds your self-esteem.  And at the end of the day, you can feel the satisfaction of a job well done.

 

One other thought just came to me - exercise.  It's definitely helped me perk up when I've been down or angry.  Pity-klonopin just started doing some walking and said that it really helped.  There's tons of studies indicating activity's positive role in dealing with depression/anxiety.

 

Bottom line: Put those nays and what if's away for a few hours and get busy.

[[Du...]]

Hello,

I need some assistance with an issue due in part to the withdrawal process. Prior to my tapering off the benzo – I did in fact experience depression – but I just feel it was never to this degree of severity.  I can accept that my brain needs time to heal but did any of you experience excruciating depression from the time of waking until the time to sleep?  It is scary for me to anticipate this dark condition may be permanent and I will be like this no matter how long I do not take any benzos.  Would you be so kind and respond to my question with possibly offer some ray of hope -  I can emerge from this condition and have a sense of ‘life’ again?  I feel hopeless when I review my life and think I may never, ever recover from the brain damage caused by the benzos. 

Thank you.

 

I hope talking about it in here will help.  That's why I joined. 

 

Talking about it openly to people who know about it.  That's a key thing, along with as bad socref says being busy with your life.  Being just sitting or lying around allows more of the lies of depression to pour in.  Lies like "life is not worthwhile" and "my life is so very bad compared to others" or "nothing matters at all."  Those are all the opposite of the truth.  That's why they feel so bad. 

[Guest [Mi...]]

I had depression prior to using benzos, but I've never had the kind of depression that results from coming off of psych drugs. It's completely different. Much more intense and the suicidal impulses were much stronger due to discontinuing SSRI's and coming off of benzos. My depression is so much better now.

 

dolphins1, hang in there. The depression is not permanent. It just feels that way right now. But it will lift. 

[[do...]]

Thank you. I do distract through out the day. Please ready other posts. Nothing helps right now. I am told to just get through each day and it will get better.

[[Za...]]

Hey dlphins. I am also feeling the same way. I am almost 7 months off. I believe that this is where the depression peaks and then soon gets better from here.

[[ME...]]

somebody here told me to try Vitamin B complex, and also walking

 

i started taking it and i think it helps

 

however it is the other stressors that is making my life miserable

 

 

[[ME...]]

What should I do, when I face hopelessness?

[Guest [ba...]]

What should I do, when I face hopelessness?

 

A lot of us feel that way that some point.  I think that a person needs to know that better times are ahead, and maintain that knowledge even when in the deepest of depressions.  Things really will get better in time, so it's a truism (an obvious truth).  The withdrawal seems to amplify a lot of negative emotions.  Some people look for another pill to pop to help them cope.  Some people begin to explore coping strategies (some people do both). 

 

I don't know if B-vitamins will help or not (your previous post).  You can 'Google' and find peer-reviewed studies that associate depression cause and/or improvement with virtually any vitamin/mineral deficiency or supplementation (various B's, D, E, A, C, Mg, Mn, Fe, Cu, folate, Zn, ...).  Being deficient in any nutrient is obviously not good, but supplementing your diet with mega-doses of supplements can also have it's problems.  If you suspect that you're deficient, have a blood analysis done.

[[ME...]]

Thanks Badsocref,

 

You said that "better times are ahead".  In my opinion, we are a big part for that "better times" to happen.  It won't simply pop out out of nowhere.  Hopelessness and despair is so debilitating and it shows in my face.  I really think that at this point of time, I will have a difficult time to convince an employer to employ me.  My present company is in a bad shape, and it will get worse.

 

However difficult, I will give it another try.  I am sailing smoothly with my tapering.  I am almost at 0.25 mg.  (half of 0.5 mg Klonopin).  My only problem is I cannot handle problems.  I keep thinking over and over.  So things get worse, and if I slide into depression, I really feel the physical manifestation inside my head.  It is not painful, but I feel the worsening that may go on until drug intervention is unavoidable.

 

I received 1 month salary today, I will send some to my wife, and I will pay some of my friends.  So, it will be gone soon.  They promised to give one more.  It could be the last.  I might be "at the end of the rope". 

 

Excessive vitamins is bad i think.  I will just take some small amount of B complex and Vitamin E.  Your idea of looking in the future is helpful.  But to change oneself from a devastated state to a meaningful one is difficult.  Yes, maybe one way to do it is to think of an scenario of a pleasing and inspiring situation, like being able to send my daughter to medical school.  She is in Third Year Psychology in the Philippines, and she will cry if one day she will stop.....(see how my brain works?....always inclined to the bad things that may happen).

 

Thank you so much for your thoughts.  I will find what else I could do.

 

 

MEexpat