If your insomnia improved - please reply!

[[8d...]]

I have been off benzo/z-drugs for 7 months (only was on them for 4 months) and now I'm dealing with nasty insomnia.

 

I started taking z-drugs for sleep caused by anxiety (big life changes). Worked well the first month, then not so much. Upped my dose, and that worked for a short while. Then I started mixing benzos with the z-drugs. After less than 2 months, I was having trouble sleeping even with the drugs. Was getting 3-5 hours of sleep.

 

When I went CT in May, I was put on Seroquel to help sleep. That worked ok for the first month, then not so much. Went back to getting 3-5 hours.

 

Then on August 1, I decided to CT the Seroquel. Didn't sleep for 2 days, then finally got 6 hours. Then I went about 2 weeks getting 5-7 hours a night, even a couple 8 hour nights!

 

Then I got into this pattern where I'd sleep pretty good for about a week, and then have a few rough days, then repeat.

 

For the last couple of weeks, I've been able to get to sleep within the hour, but then I wake up almost exactly after 5 hours. I feel tired and anxious that I'm not sleeping enough.

 

Has anyone been here, and seen an improvement?

 

I also have an urgency every morning at 9am to have a bowel movement. Always the same soft consistency. Also have fluttering in my ear.

 

Please reply, I'm feeling like this is never going to end, or this is not even WD, and maybe an anxiety disorder

[Guest [ba...]]

I'm sort of stuck in the same 5-6 hour sleep mode, although I'm usually OK with sleeping that long.  I also fall asleep pretty quickly (30-60 minutes), and wake up around 5-6 hours later.  On the good side, I'm getting this sleep without any sleeping meds.

 

I didn't sleep well last night (3-4 hours), and I suspect it's anxiety-based.  I'm attending an 'event' this evening and have to interact with an individual that really drives me crazy.  I suspect that that was on my mind last night.  I know that I'm feeling more anxiety today especially when I think about tonight.  I really need to learn to let this kind of stuff go. 

 

Afraid that I can't help with the loose stool issue (but it might beat being constipated) 

[[8d...]]

Are you able to take naps during the day? And when you wake up in the morning, can you go back to sleep?

 

 

[[sp...]]

One thing I have learned from my research on insomnia is that much of this stuff we read on the "official" sites about ideal sleep being 8 hours is another thing cooked up by Big Pharma to make us take their pills. One doctor told me has slept no more than 3 hours since med school and he is 68 years old and successful. Check out the site "Conquering Insomnia", the Harvard doctor there talks about how sleep is highly individual. Humans also once slept in two short bursts with an intermittent period of waking where they would talk, study, even visit a neighbor. But it'll sure scare you if you think you always need 8 hours. If you are not functioning that is one thing, but you may just now have a different "cycle" for a while. Timothy Ferris in The Four Hour Body discovered he was on a 27 (rather than 24) hour cycle, and how that totally threw off his sleep patterns with the remainder of the working, capitalistic world. I don't remember the specifics but he has some pretty interesting theories about it.

[Guest [ba...]]

Are you able to take naps during the day? And when you wake up in the morning, can you go back to sleep?

 

I work during the week, so naps are not an option (nor are they likely).  I will occasionally doze off in the afternoon/evening in front of a football game on the weekend following 18 holes of golf.  The sunshine and exercise seem to help me fall asleep, and the TV occupies whatever might be on my mind.

 

If I wake up after around 4:30 am, I generally do not get back to sleep.  If I wake up earlier, I often can get back to sleep, but it might take an hour or two.

[[8d...]]

I am now keeping a log of my sleep, symptoms, and mood.

 

I just don't get it... Last week, I was getting decent sleep, and feeling great about life. Now, I'm barely getting 5 hours, and waking up feeling like I don't want to face the day.

 

Is this WD???

[Guest [ba...]]

Is it still withdrawal??  In my case, I'd say no, but I've been off meds much longer than you.  Your physiology may still be adjusting.

 

I broke down and took 5 mg melatonin when I woke up at 1-something this morning.  Slept well after that.  Maybe a total of 6-6.5 hours which rates as a 'B' in my sleeping log (I've been keeping a sleep quality log for over two years).

[[sp...]]

I found an article by an independent source that supports my comment above:

http://www.livescience.com/667-sleep-deprivation-great-american-myth.html

 

THEY JUST WANT US TO TAKE MORE DRUGS!!!!

[[8d...]]

Is it still withdrawal??  In my case, I'd say no, but I've been off meds much longer than you.  Your physiology may still be adjusting.

 

I broke down and took 5 mg melatonin when I woke up at 1-something this morning.  Slept well after that.  Maybe a total of 6-6.5 hours which rates as a 'B' in my sleeping log (I've been keeping a sleep quality log for over two years).

 

When you we in WD, did you have that revved up, never tired always wired feeling?

 

And if so... Is it gone now?

 

[Guest [ba...]]

Damien - I had much more difficulty sleeping when I was still in withdrawal.  I often felt kind of hyper at bedtime. 

 

Is it gone now?  Not entirely, but again, I don't consider it withdrawal anymore.  I felt hyper last night, but I had done a couple of hours of late night driving which often makes me kind of hyper.  I do better if I begin to wind down fairly early in the evening, so I try to avoid stress or exertion after around 9 pm.  I don't even practice piano after 9 pm as the songs that I practice can linger in my head for hours.

 

On a positive note - I'm a great person to have along for long-distance, late-night driving. 

[[8d...]]

My OCD is just fixated on finding a definitive answer to this... If I knew it was WD, I could take comfort in knowing that I just have to power through, and I'll be fine.

 

But, knowing that 2 months ago, I was sleeping pretty good, and now it seems to be worsening... I don't know what it is!

[Guest [ba...]]

While I cannot provide a definitive answer to your OCD's sleep dilemma, Spiritus has provided some pretty solid news regarding sleep duration and health.  That should provide you with some degree of comfort.  You (and I) may wish for an extra hour or three of sleep at night, but we may be just as healthy (or even healthier) getting 5-6 hours instead of 8!

[[ea...]]

It took me almost two years but now at 27 months, I am sleeping fairly well. I get at least 6 hours a night. I still don't consider my sleep normal, because I wake every two or three hours, and sometimes have trouble going back to sleep. But compared to that first year, when I hardly got ANY sleep, this is fine with me. In the last couple months, I have felt a great deal of healing going on. Sleep is one of those things that has gotten better. During those 2 years of lousy sleep, I tried every over the counter remedy there is, and several prescription drugs (including Seroquel and Rozerem). NONE of them helped. For a long time I worried about permanent brain damage that was ruining sleep. Now, I am seeing it differently. All those months, I was healing, even though I couldn't feel it. If there was brain damage, it is repairing itself.

east

[[8d...]]

Glad you're doing a lot better.

 

Seems impossible that 4 months of this could be destroying me this harshly!

 

I'm going to have to stay tune course. No other option. I'm convinced if I go back on any meds, I will not be able to live with myself.

 

So... The struggle continues

[[ea...]]

I understand. I felt terrible at a year, and had trouble believing it was withdrawal. But it was, of that I have no doubt now.

Healing is wonderful, and such a relief. I have found that nearly everything I was told here was true, but it just took time for it all to happen to me.

east

[[8d...]]

Does it seem likely that 2 months ago, sleep was pretty awesome for me, and now it's worse?

 

This entire week, I can't sleep more than 4-5 hours...

 

3 months ago, I could easily sleep 6, and even had a couple of 8 hours, and one 9!

 

Is this making any sense at all? Everyone is telling me I have an anxiety disorder.

 

I had sleep issues before this... If I was anxious about something, I would not be able to sleep. But then I would have the best sleep the next night. I never feel tired anymore.

 

I could miss a night of sleep, and not be able to nap at all in the day.

 

Did you feel like this?

[[ea...]]

Yes, its quite possible. I guess you could say you're in a wave, and your sleep is affected. I know its hard, but try not to worry about this. Worrying about sleep only makes the problem worse, it seems. I had to train myself not to get upset when I couldn't sleep. I developed a routine of what I would do when I couldn't, and now its a habit that I just go into whenever sleep doesn't come quickly (or at all).

 

east

[[8d...]]

What is your routine if you don't mind my asking?

[[Br...]]

I found an article by an independent source that supports my comment above:

http://www.livescience.com/667-sleep-deprivation-great-american-myth.html

 

THEY JUST WANT US TO TAKE MORE DRUGS!!!!

 

I have functioned all these years with minimal sleep, now I feel like I'm fixating on it more because I am always wired and never have the urge to sleep, I just close my eyes and hope for the best when I start yawning, it takes me HOURS to fall asleep and some nights I'll get an hour or two if I'm lucky.    My blood pressure is elevated now, which is probably connected to stress and eating habits, since I workout intensely 4-5 days a week.  Sleep has been freaking me out, but after reading those studies it does make me feel slightly better.  3.5-4 hours was my normal before and occasionally if I was really tired I could nap for 5 hours and then sleep for 3-5 at night.  But now I cannot nap, I am up for days at a time.  I attribute it to these benzos since it didn't start getting bad until I took Xanax (even the first night taking it, it kept me awake, my body felt paralyzed but I never fell asleep)  now I'm 7 weeks off and hoping that I don't have a form of fatal insomnia.  The sleep I get now is weird, I'll go directly in to dreams and that's the only way I know I've slept, or someone will check on me and tell me I was out cold and snoring, yet I swear I feel like I'm awake every hour.  It's strange to wake up instantly alert and coherent every single day.  And the amount of sleep deprivation I have is showing in my undereyes and obviously blood pressure.  Hoping it starts to subside soon.  Never again will I try and mess with my brain chemistry.  It's not worth it.

[Guest [ba...]]

Brink - on the days that you don't exercise intensely, do you sleep better or worse or no change?

[[Br...]]

Brink - on the days that you don't exercise intensely, do you sleep better or worse or no change?

 

No real change.  I find that my sleep alternates days, I'll have a "good" day then a terrible day then an okay day then a bad one, then a good one.  Sometimes it breaks from routine, but I find the exercise helps me stay sane.  At first the exercise days would be days I'm super amped up and cannot sleep, the more days I've added crossfit back it, I've noticed now that my sleep still rotates a similar trend.

[Guest [ba...]]

The alternative days of sleep thing comes up every now and then.  I had something similar, but usually 2 decent nights followed by 2-3 lousy nights.  My sleep is no longer adversely affected by exercise although I still don't tend to do hard exercise late at night (I only rarely did even before benzos).

[[8d...]]

I had the couple of really rough nights, then back to decent nights.

 

Over the last month and a half, the bad days last about a week.

 

Shouldn't it be getting better, not worse?

[Guest [ba...]]

Shouldn't it be getting better, not worse?

 

While we may want for sleep to get better, one has to be careful in applying the word, 'should'.  That creates an expectation which sets us up for anxiety/depression/anger if it doesn't come to pass.  I know that you really want an answer, but there simply isn't a reliable answer to give.  Your OCD may not like that answer, but it will have to accept it.

 

There are all sorts of web sites that tell me that I should get 7-8 hours of sleep each night.  I don't.  I didn't even get 7-8 hours reliably when I took klonopin/ativan.  It's just my physiology.  I didn't want to accept my 'fate' which is what got me on this stupid benzo thing in the first place.  Had I just gone with the flow, I'd have saved myself a lot of grief in the long run.

 

I'm not happy about waking up at 4 am with only 5 hours of sleep, but neither am I unhappy.  It's just what is. 

[[8d...]]

Good way to look at it, and don't worry, my OCD is fine with that answer

 

I always feel better with more sleep, and that just seems like it should be obvious. We all have different sleep requirements to perform optimally, and my number seems to be 7.

 

I have gotten that since being off the poison, and I'm hoping I'll get some more as things balance out. Right now, I have to be patient and kind with myself, and let my brain and body heal.