At what point CT did your symptoms lesson?

[Guest [Or...]]

I'm at a really, really tough point right now. My breathing related ocd is through the roof. It is insane. Its driving me up the wall. Not once in my withdraw have I ever been this bad. I'm actually starting to lose it. And I have kept my cool almost the entire time. My withdrawal has never been as bad as some, but now its starting to get there. And I just passed the 90 day mark. How is this possible? Do the waves get worse and the windows get better? I know recovery isn't linear, but there is a Point A to Point B process for people unless you heal miraculously.

 

My first month I was playing videogames and stuff. 2nd month I was watching TV and stuff. 3rd month I became severely agoraphobic and barely leaving my bedroom. This can't be normal...does it get worse before it gets better in some people?

[[be...]]

I am sorry you are feeling badly. Symptoms can wax and wane for months. What you are describing unfortunately is quite normal. When we all start feeling better various from person to person. For me I started to turn a huge positive corner at about 100 days out. After that it only continued to get better and better each month. Just as quickly as your wave of unpleasant symptoms came on, they can go. I hope there are some large windows in your future.

[Guest [Or...]]

I am sorry you are feeling badly. Symptoms can wax and wane for months. What you are describing unfortunately is quite normal. When we all start feeling better various from person to person. For me I started to turn a huge positive corner at about 100 days out. After that it only continued to get better and better each month. Just as quickly as your wave of unpleasant symptoms came on, they can go. I hope there are some large windows in your future.

 

Thanks BRC. I hope I turn a corner soon. Or at least become semi-functional at home. This is killer on the spirit. Especially because it all happened so fast. Its only been 5 months since the whole thing started. 3 of those have been hell on earth. And I just feel like its getting worse. But my partner says I have been getting better. I'm just too sick to see it.

[[dr...]]

I didn't cold turkey but after I jumped my worst time was month 3-4.  I got killed and thougth I'd end up in a mental institution.  After that things slowly calmed down to a just crappy feeling all the time.  It was a terrible slow slog with too many body and mental symptoms to list. Month six was very difficult again but this month seven has been very good so far.  I feel better than ever. 

[Guest [Or...]]

I didn't cold turkey but after I jumped my worst time was month 3-4.  I got killed and thougth I'd end up in a mental institution.  After that things slowly calmed down to a just crappy feeling all the time.  It was a terrible slow slog with too many body and mental symptoms to list. Month six was very difficult again but this month seven has been very good so far.  I feel better than ever.

 

Thanks Drew! I needed to hear that. I'm OK with getting slammed again by month 6 if I get relief from 4-6 (which seems to be common). I just want to be able to do stuff. I can in windows, but aside from my window a week ago today it just feels like its been one massive wave since Week 6 when shit hit the fan.

[[dr...]]

Not to depress you  but month 4-6 were not that good but i could mostly function where it was a barage in month three. 

[Guest [Or...]]

Not to depress you  but month 4-6 were not that good but i could mostly function where it was a barage in month three.

 

We never know what to expect with benzos lol. For all I k ow I'm healed tomorrow or enter a massive wave for 6 months. Its just madness.

[[...]]

I'm not Ct but need help in thinking. I want to work but feel like I'm mud. Can't get any enthusiasm for anything but sleep. Were people able to work during the taper and wd? Agoraphobia and inability to talk normally to people right now is literally killing me. I wonder if i should go to a hospital too, my ex and therapist all think I might need it. More meds but maybe stay alive.

[[dr...]]

Not to depress you  but month 4-6 were not that good but i could mostly function where it was a barage in month three.

 

We never know what to expect with benzos lol. For all I k ow I'm healed tomorrow or enter a massive wave for 6 months. Its just madness.

 

Yeah...I was getting crushed and I woke up 9 days ago and my mind was clear, no muscle or nerve pain, no facial numbness, no DR, no headaches,...nothing!  I am not complaining but it is like a light switch just flipped.  I didn't do anything different than the previous day.  I am riding this horsey til I fall off.  

[[dr...]]

I'm not Ct but need help in thinking. I want to work but feel like I'm mud. Can't get any enthusiasm for anything but sleep. Were people able to work during the taper and wd? Agoraphobia and inability to talk normally to people right now is literally killing me. I wonder if i should go to a hospital too, my ex and therapist all think I might need it. More meds but maybe stay alive.

 

I worked my whole taper.  It was a mixed blessing as it distracted me but I wonder if I would have healed faster if I was able to avoid all the stress and pressure I incurred.  I had major agoraphobia, couldn't drive on freeways, and had panic attackes all the time.  I had to meet with clients and I am the best actor!  Now I drive on freeway and am almost normal.  I didn't even wnat to leave the house unless I had to until last week.  Hang in there.  More meds aren't the answer...only getting off the drugs and time.

[[Ch...]]

I've definitely got worse. I don't know if that helps or not!

 

Somewhere around months 2-3 I had periods of feeling a little better and more positive. Not real windows but not as bad as the ninth circle of hell. I'm in my 5th month now and am in the ninth circle. I've been in this wave for 6-7 weeks. So I'd definitely say it can get worse before it gets better. I've heard this a lot.