Do you ever stop thinking about it?

[[...]]

I'm sure I'm repeating myself, so sorry if I am, however this 'thing' seems to be on my mind constantly, it's like, do you ever stop and just be comfortable in your own skin again? Would I be right in saying it's like being traumatized over and over. Today despite having a horrible weekend and little or no sleep last night, I am feeling reasonable after overcoming horrendous anxiety this morning BUT I am now worrying, what will feel in the morning will it be depression, anxiety, fear,  will I even sleep, everything. It's as if you have lost confidence in your own mind. Everything is so stressful x100 it's so scarey. My daughter told me it's like living with 2 different people this weekend after my latest melt down Also does all this stress make healing slower?

[[me...]]

Yes, as time goes by and you heal, you WILL stop obsessing about withdrawal and eventually you won't think much about it at all.  But this takes time, and at a few months off you're still in the thick of it.  The best thing you can do at this point is to learn to distract yourself (see below).  This is what helped me most during my first year off benzos.

 

[[ma...]]

I'm 9 months out and I have days where I don't think about it at all, not many but it's an improvement from thinking about it constantly in the early few months. Even when I felt okish, it would always be at the back of my mind, like if I went shopping, I always thought I might have a panic attack which made me feel uncomfortable and anxious...

[[Mi...]]

I think about it every minute of the day.

[[mo...]]

Its hard to ignore symptoms.  I can totally emphasize with you as well.  I find that I get the worst anxiety/panic attacks when eating lunch at work.  To me, it seems more like a physical reaction, rather than a psychological/cognitive one.  Whenever I'm dealing with a bad set of symptoms, I remind myself of the symptoms that I am NOT experiencing anymore.  I try to put a positive spin on it that way.  To me, it definitely helps.

 

moto joe

[[In...]]

The symptoms were so horrible it was all I could think about for a good 9 months or so. Now at almost 20 months I am able to think about other things and get distracted. There are times of feeling somewhat relaxed in my own skin. It comes and goes now, things are so much better than those early months 

[[...]]

Thank you all for your replies, it really helps.

 

Today is 7 months off. Last night although I was exhausted, I made brownies with my daughter and because I felt happy and calm I then sat down to watch Downton Abbey, went to bed very positive and slept reasonably well. This morning I am filled with fear, dread, anxiety. The what ifs are coming fast and furious and my heart racing. I got to work and I'm here trying to breathe deply and slowly. I am so scared of myself I don't understand, I'm glad to be at work even though it is a struggle as the thought of being on my own fills me with panic (I hate this fear with a passion) I fear I will lose my mind if I am on my own and find it really hard when like this to busy myself even though I know it will help. It's like being paralyzed with fear. Is this really down to withdrawal or is this some dissorder I have developed? How can you possibly be ok, sleep and then be not?

[[ma...]]

I've had that, one day fine the next horrendous, it's crazy how our minds and outlook on life can change so rapidly - one day thinking about the future and how great everything will be to the next day where I just want to die. You haven't developed a disorder Marj, I've thought this too but when you set it out logically, we've been taking benzos and everyone on here has experienced similar thoughts and they've got better. I guess you just have to try not to obsess over these feelings and accept that they are there because you're experiencing benzo withdrawal syndrome - try to think that the next day will be better and think that you've made it to 7 months which is well over half way for most people to recovery

[Guest [Ma...]]

Marj,

A wonderful woman who has been through this emailed me and assured me that someday soon, I would stop thinking  in terms of " waves " and " windows " .............