FREE

[[Me...]]

Hi guys,

 

As you can see from my other posts I haven't been on here in a few months. I did what I think people should do. Got the information and support I needed and took it from there. In the state of mind I was in just after every cut reading horror stories and convincing myself every feeling or ache and pain I had was withdrawal wasn't going to help me. The worst thing you can do is read into this stuff. Especially if you have anxiety because you will scare yourself much more then you should. Its good to be prepared, its smart and necessary to recovery but don't become a victim. Don't blame everything on withdrawal because in the end you will just make it worse for yourself. You will be ok. It is hard and it will suck but you will be ok. The extreme stories you read on here are at the complete other end of the spectrum. The worst of the worst. Don't trap yourself into thinking that it will happen to you to.

 

I don't know why I am different to a lot of people on here but I just didn't have all the issues everyone else has been through during taper. I don't know if its because I'm younger or if it was because I was only on benzos for 2 years but I got out of this a lot faster and better off then most. After reinstating at a quarter of the dose I was on before my 1 week fast taper in hospital I was fine. It took a couple of weeks but eventually I calmed down and started my taper again. Much much slower. Don't get me wrong after every cut I had increased anxiety, not much sleep and random foggy brain sensations but that was it. They were my worst symptoms and nothing I couldn't handle. They normally only lasted one to two weeks after I cut a dose. The rest of the time between cuts was partially me waiting until I was sure I was through the worst of it and the rest of the time I was working up the courage to do it again. Its scary stuff.

 

So.. what got me through. Here are my tips.

 

- Don't give up. Even when it seems unbearable try your hardest to stick it out. In the long run going up and down and back and forth in doses will do you more harm in the long run. If you can push through it do it.

 

- Do not participate in what my psychologist calls "doona therapy". When you just want to curl into a ball and be consumed by your symptoms DONT! Get up. Go for a walk. Even to the fridge. Read a book. Watch a movie. Go sit outside in the sun. Whatever you can manage. It really does make all the difference in the world.

 

- EAT!!!!! Any doctor, nutritionist and psychologist will tell you how important this is. It is so so so so important and makes symptoms like nausea less severe.

 

- Remember your end goal. To be free.

 

 

During my taper I have moved out of home. Gotten a job after being unemployed for 2 years because of my anxiety and depression and started saving for a car. This may not seem like much to most people but to go from applying for disability payments to this is amazing to me and I can honestly say I am proud. And to everyone on here struggling be proud. You have chosen to change your life for the better. Not matter how hard it is. You are willing to fight.

 

An amazing psychologist held groups once a week while I was in hospital and at the time it was horrible and confronting and made everyone in the room feel super uncomfortable and scared but at the end of the day it is really what I needed and what helped me to change. Here are some of the things he said that changed my life.

 

"If you want to get better you will, If not I will see you all here in another 2 months. You have every resource in here to help you but at the end of the day you need to help yourself."

 

"Do you know how much your medication helps your condition? wether is be anxiety, depression etc? 20%. That's all. There is no magic pill or Pandora's box that is going to cure you. Its hard work to get better. There's no easy way out."

 

"According to todays literature everyone has a mental illness. I have a mental illness. The Drs here have a mental illness. The nurses have a mental illness. Every member of your family has a mental illness. There is a book that Drs use now to determine if you are suffering with a mental illness and you know what is in that book? hundreds and hundreds of symptoms. Sadness, fear, anger, lack of sleep, sweaty palms, loss of appetite. The list goes on. Do you know how many of these symptoms you need to have to be classified as having a mental illness??? Just two. Two symptoms will get you labelled as mentally ill. Doesn't that seem a little odd to you? You know what the difference is between people living there day to day lives and you? they haven't been labelled yet. They haven't been consumed by it. They haven't been told time and time again by Drs that there is something wrong with them. That's all. You have become your label and forgotten who you are. Because you are so much more than just a person with anxiety."

 

I think that's all I have to say. I hope I've covered everything. Just remember I believe in everyone on here. You can do whatever you want. You just have to fight for it and believe in yourself. You are so much more than a person coming off of Benzos. You are a mom, a friend, a dad, sister, brother, uncle, aunt, niece, nephew, grandma, grandpa, lover, co-worker. Whatever you are to someone you love. You are smart or funny or wise. Whatever it is there is so much to you than you know. Try not to forget. Try not to be taken away and consumed by your disappear. You will get through this. Don't give up.

 

Jessie xxxxx

[[Ki...]]

Wow! I love this. It is very inspirational, especially the part about our labels. Its so true. My psych. told me I have an anxiety disorder, and so I started to believe it, and it became a self-fufilling prophecy. If anxiety is a disorder, then being human is a disorder!

[Guest [ba...]]

:thumbsup:

[[Ba...]]

I agree very inspirational and       

[[he...]]

Soooooo glad you are freeeeee!!! continued happiness to you.......Jude

[[ja...]]

I wish you a speedy recovery 

[[Mo...]]

Congrats Jessie, enjoy your Benzo-free life and thank you for sharing.

[[Li...]]

Congratulations Jessie!!!  Thanks for the encouragement too! 

[[be...]]

:) :) :) :) great news!

[[sp...]]

I LOVE THIS! WHO is this AMAZING DOCTOR? Please tell us!!! My husband swears that whenever I went to see a male shrink and cried they would classify me as depressed and then I would believe it and start acting accordingly.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[[ru...]]

Thanks for the great post and I wish you all the best.  :thumbsup:

[Guest [he...]]

Thank you so much for this post, I really needed to read this.

[[Gr...]]

:thumbsup:

 

Thank You so much for your post. I wish you continued success.

 

[[sp...]]

Jessie,

I already posted but I keep returning to your words and have cut and pasted them to my desktop. You say you are young (how old actually if you don't mind me asking?), but this is the wisdom of a very old soul.

Thank you, again.

[[Me...]]

WOW!!!! Thank you so much guys!! I didn't expect all of these positive responses. It really means so much to me. Really it does.

 

Im 25 years old and the psychologist who opened my eyes to all of this is Peter Casbolt. He was exactly what I needed, I just didn't know it at the time. I think everyone at some point in there lives along this journey needs a wake up call. YOU ARE NOT ANXIETY. YOU HAVE ANXIETY! STOP LIVING YOUR LIFE THAT WAY!