Really lonely and depressed and saturday makes it worst

[[Pi...]]

Im so lonely all on my own, cant get out of the house bc of wd and have fun with my friends.. Staying all alone inside i keep thinking about my ex and missing her and feeling destroyed because she cheated on me with another one and is now living happily with him.. I feel like shit, withdrawal transformed me into an insecure poshit and thats why she traded me for another one.. When i was healthy she used to love me more than i loved her and now she traded me, cheated on me, and is having fun with this other dude.. And im so lonely i actually miss her and think about her all the time..

 

Im 1 year and 1 month out and this is a living hell.. Psychiatrist prescribed me anti psychotics for anxiety and lyrica for anxiety, and nothing worked well.. Im losing hope, and starting to think this is not withdrawal, since my mother father and all doctors say so. I feel completely lost and depressed.. Life doesnt make sense.

 

My friends are all partying hard, having fun, going to college, doing sports.. Come on, im 22 and housebound, full of life, and cant get out bc of this social anxiety i never had prior to benzo wd.. I cant even have a little fun and distract and forget my ex with someone else bc i just CANT GET OUT.. Im full of life,energy, and stuck in a cage.

 

And to make it worst, my self esteem is destroyed. The girl traded me for this weird dude, i keep thinking the following -

 

If i cant hold my shit in withdrawal and keep my self confidence, it means i never had a real self confidence, since real self confidence from inside never goes away. It makes sense doesnt it?

[[Pi...]]

[[Ch...]]

Aw, I'm sorry, PK.  It's probably not much consolation that I'm home alone on a Saturday night, too.  Probably a lot of the people logged on right now are home alone as well.  Have you been posting to other threads to chat with people?  That's what I used to do.

 

 

[[em...]]

Well like you said... you have social anxiety that you didn't have before benzo withdrawal.  Sounds like evidence that it IS withdrawal causing it

[[ma...]]

It is lonely. I'm all alone on A Saturday night too. Just me and my symptoms. ..lol!

[[ca...]]

*hugs*. I am home on a saturday too.  Was giving myself a really hard time but something clicked and i was able to turn my thought.  I said 'hey dont say that!!  U have no idea what is in store when u are healed!  U could be better than before!  U could be happier than before! U could be funnier than before!  U could be more confident than before!  U could be more empowered than before!'  That little window is all u need to make u realize that ur okay and the fun and mystery is rebuilding a life that may not have been working for u anyways.  Ur life will be an art piece.  Make it a Monet or a picasso!  So instead of writing what you arent doing, why dont we write what we will do when we feel a window.  I'll start.  I'm going to take a salsa dance class!!!

[[Pi...]]

Thanks for the reply guys!!

 

Haha salsa, nice! Im going skating!!