Question for those who have pre-existing depression

[[wi...]]

Hello All,

 

I am almost a year from taking my last benzo.  Full disclosure:  I wrote a success story at ~ 6 months off. I stand by the “success” in that I am benzo free, I have no severe, incapacitating symptoms (e.g. DP/DR, unrelenting restlessness, panic/fear) and the remaining ones (mild anxiety, broken sleep, body heaviness) are all manageable. I am, however, severely depressed with anhedonia like I have never experienced. It was depression that led to my use of benzodiazepines.  The side effects from my antidepressants included insomnia and restless legs. The cocktail of an antidepressant and benzo worked to keep me functional for many years until I developed tolerance. I did not want to increase my dose so I discontinued all medications (too rapidly, I'm afraid).

 

My question is for those of you who feel your depression is not necessarily caused by taking benzos. How do you cope with the debilitating symptoms of inertia, anhedonia, hopelessness etc? I have tried therapy, cognitive behavioral techniques, mindfulness practices and just pushing myself to participate in activities, but continue to have difficulty re-entering life after my traumatic withdrawal. I would almost consider taking an AD again, but I am not so sure I am up for a difficult withdrawal if I cannot tolerate the side effects. I am also aware that it is highly likely I would develop tolerance to this class of medication and have to increase my dose or continually switch medications.

I know some of you may think this is all part of withdrawal and I am willing to listen to your reasoning, but I am not convinced.

 

Thanks in advance,

WW

 

[[Be...]]

I surely can relate, WW.  . I also went on benzos to treat side effects of an AD (Prozac) and even as I cycled through numerous ADs during the subsequent 20 years, I continued on ever increasing amounts of Ativan.  I was a real wreck when I joined BB wanting to get off Ativan long enough to get ECT (shock) therapy for major depression.

 

I wish I knew of something to do that you haven't tried. I have continued on an AD whose side effects I can tolerate.  I, too, am afraid of getting back on the AD merry go round but do wonder if I shouldn't be trying some of the newer ones in hopes of improving my mood.  I guess if Welbutrin quits on me I will take the plunge but I will NEVER go back on benzos!

 

Do you see a psychiatrist or counselor with whom you could discuss your concerns?

[[wi...]]

Thanks for your response Beeper!

 

I do see both a psychiatrist and psychotherapist regularly. Both are supportive, but neither have many suggestions other than continuing to try different AD's and the usual life style strategies for depression ( mindfulness, structure, yoga, meditation, support system etc.). I am going to try a SAD light, if I can figure out which one to order, with the hope it might improve my sleep as well. I am still ambivalent about trying new medications for depression since I am pretty sensitive to the side effects especially restlessness and insomnia.

 

I will keep on keeping on and implement as many strategies as possible. Despite what some here seem to believe, depression that is non-benzo related is often cyclical and there is almost always a reprieve from symptoms if one can wait it out.

 

This depression does feel endless and any reprieve from the lethargy and complete lack of ability to experience pleasure will be greatly appreciated.

 

I hope you are doing well and congratulations on your lengthy abstinence from benzos!

Take care,

 

WW

 

 

 

 

[[Ro...]]

wickedwitch, there are techniques now using dna test to find the best AD for your genetic profile. I also suffer from depression but unfortunately I can't find this genetic test done in the country where I live, maybe you can.

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/06/19/genetic-testing-to-choose-right-antidepressant/

[[wi...]]

wickedwitch, there are techniques now using dna test to find the best AD for your genetic profile. I also suffer from depression but unfortunately I can't find this genetic test done in the country where I live, maybe you can.

http://www.foxnews.com/health/2012/06/19/genetic-testing-to-choose-right-antidepressant/

 

Thanks Roberto,

 

I have actually had saliva testing to determine how I metabolize various medications. This has proved interesting, but unfortunately not as helpful as I had hoped.  The results basically reinforced what I had experienced with regard to dosage of specific AD's.  As far as side effects go, they seem to occur regardless of whether I am a slow, intermediate or fast metabolizer of a particular medication.  It has been helpful in determining the appropriate dose of certain medications though. For example, I discovered that I should only take a very small dose of blood thinners, if necessary since I am a rapid metabolizer.

 

I wish there was a magic bullet for the depression. It can be so debilitating.  Congratulations on being benzo free. I hope you are well and continue to recover quickly.

 

WW

 

 

[[Be...]]

Thanks for your response Beeper!

 

I do see both a psychiatrist and psychotherapist regularly. Both are supportive, but neither have many suggestions other than continuing to try different AD's and the usual life style strategies for depression ( mindfulness, structure, yoga, meditation, support system etc.). I am going to try a SAD light, if I can figure out which one to order, with the hope it might improve my sleep as well. I am still ambivalent about trying new medications for depression since I am pretty sensitive to the side effects especially restlessness and insomnia.

 

I will keep on keeping on and implement as many strategies as possible. Despite what some here seem to believe, depression that is non-benzo related is often cyclical and there is almost always a reprieve from symptoms if one can wait it out.

 

This depression does feel endless and any reprieve from the lethargy and complete lack of ability to experience pleasure will be greatly appreciated.

 

I hope you are doing well and congratulations on your lengthy abstinence from benzos!

Take care,

 

WW

 

That SAD light should be helpful, esp if you live where there is decreased sunlight during these coming months.  I am in Florida so don't lack for sunlight 99 days out of 100. 

 

There have been discussions about the best lights from time to time on the Depression Board.  You might poke around some of the old threads or better yet, start one of your own and ask for opinions. 

 

All we can do is keep trying and never give up.  And some days the best you can do is tie a knot in the rope and hang on for dear life. 

 

Hope the special light helps.  I've read lots of positive reports about light therapy so believe you have reason to hope. 

[[Co...]]

I was given paxil for 7 years. I never got tolerance from it and it helped immensely with my chemical sensitivities. I was able to lead a somewhat normal life and take medication and supplements again. The only drawback it gave me was no sex drive and numb to the world.

 

I think about getting back on it from time to time. I think if you do try one maybe try one that doesn't cause restlessness. Paxil was the only one that didn't have weird sx for me. Prozac made me crawl out of my skin and gave me insomnia. Even lexapro made me irritable.