Now I know better - how do I warn a friend?

[[Ba...]]

I am really worried about a friend. I had not seen her in many months because I knew she had started using cocaine, and being on a taper I really didn't want to be around people who were partaking in such things.

 

Class A drugs have always scared me, but I am not a judgemental person so her usage at parties, or if we went out I would turn a blind eye to. Half of the people I knew would also turn a blind eye, and the other half might occasionally join her. (My better friends belonging in the former categories)

 

I have known and loved my friend for over 20 years but it has only been this year, due to a new boyfriend, that my friend went from being a weed smoker (which I also turned a blind eye to) to something heavier.

 

That in itself worries me. But I saw her at a party on Saturday - and not only has her consumption of cola increased but she now uses xanax to help with her come downs.

 

I have only trusted one friend locally with what I am going through. The rest of my friends think I've ceased drinking, smoking and coffee because of health reasons, and they know that I never liked being a mother who smoked. I have spent more time as an adult not smoking than smoking, but with a hubby who smokes it would often creep back in. (He has finally given up too so I am hoping this will be the last quit for both if us) I've never been a big drinker so that's no biggie - the coffee surprises everyone - sometimes even me! I've always loved my coffee, but am not missing it half as much as expected.

 

She was saying how much xanax was helping, and even helping her sleep and feel good during the week days. She was really happy that it had helped her give up weed (which is great).

 

How can I warn her of the dangers of benzo's without exposing myself. (Love her as I do - she is the biggest gossip I know, and when intoxicated let's secrets fly) I did tell her I had read up on them due to my own anxiety, and that I'd been scared off as I had read how addictive they were and that 'I'd read' the withdrawals were worse than heroine, that the withdrawals could kill people, and last anywhere from 6 months (if lucky) to many years. She shrugged it off and said there was no way it could be worse than heroine, or even worse than a coke comedown, and that I had that opinion because I didn't know how bad come downs felt. She said "xannies" were a life saver. And that drs wouldn't prescribe them if they were so dangerous.

 

I don't know if anyone can help, but I would hate for her to end up another buddy (or worse!)

 

Any advice would be greatly appreciated (this she may be a he but may not be - I am trying to protect there identity)

[[gr...]]

Use the SWIM method, someone who isnt me. Tell her a family member or someone else you know is experiencing hell on earth.

Its a white lie and in order to help her.

[[Ba...]]

Thank you - that's a great idea! I've moved cities quite a bit in my time and have ended up after 18 years back where I grew up. So it won't be hard to say "I am respecting their privacy but a friend of mine from "insert one of my towns here".

 

I don't want her to suffer the pain of the benzo demon and from what I read Xanax seems to be a particularly evil one.

 

I just hope that she/he doesn't Heath Ledger or River Phoenix in the meantime