FRIENDS......FRIENDS....How does one deal with/talk with friends??

[[do...]]

Hi,

 

I have a lot of friends. Yet....I don't want to see or speak with anyone of them. Why?

 

I am afraid of what they will think.

 

They may walk away.

 

I don't know what to say and am unable to have uplifting conversations.

 

I don't have any feelings for them.

 

I am envious that they are "NORMAL" and I am not.

 

I would like the real me to come back so I can feel alive when I am with them,

[[Ra...]]

I had this. I just spoke to friends. I refuse to be afraid. Don't let fear rule your life.

[[Mi...]]

It is sad but I just avoid most all people.. :'(      I really tried to be as normal as possible and didn't say no right away or avoid...    And it really back fired on me I think and have been told.  But who really knows for sure.  Anyways after endless soul search and convos with psychiatrist...  I have had to say no and quit pushing my nervous system just cant take it and it seems like when I push I create more trauma and traumatic experiences.  Idk what to do really.  Its hard to have to put trust into others right now but I am obviously not thinking clearly so I am trying to trust again.........    MJ 

[[do...]]

No offense rarth500 but organic fear happens to be one of my major symtooms

[[Ne...]]

It has been about a year since I was friendly with anyone except my husband. I used to have a life before cancer and lorazepam. We have a labyrinth that we devoted many years to creating. Now I can't walk it without crying. People come to walk every day but I can't see them. It  makes me cry. The phone rings and I just look at it. I won't answer the door. No one else can ever understand this hell without being in it. One friend? said well now that you know what the problem is you can just fix it. Day 52 cold turkey. I actually feel like a cold turkey... I haven't managed to fix it yet.

[[be...]]

Hi,

 

I have a lot of friends. Yet....I don't want to see or speak with anyone of them. Why?

 

I am afraid of what they will think.

 

They may walk away.

 

I don't know what to say and am unable to have uplifting conversations.

 

I don't have any feelings for them.

 

I am envious that they are "NORMAL" and I am not.

 

I would like the real me to come back so I can feel alive when I am with them,

 

A real friend would NEVER walk away. The contribute much of my healing by surrounding myself by family and friends. It was such a great distraction for me. Left home alone at that time every second would seem like an hour. It was as if time stayed still. Since time seemed to go by SO much faster amongst commotion my healing seemed to go so much faster. There will be a time when you are "normal" again. You will heal.

[[ea...]]

I had this. I just spoke to friends. I refuse to be afraid. Don't let fear rule your life.

 

I don't think Rarthy was discounting organic fear. I think what he is saying that it sometimes helps to push through the fear.

Fear - chemically caused fear - was my worst symptom, by far. I had it for about a year. Fairly early on, I decided to push through it. I wasn't always successful (hardly!) but sometimes I was. And facing my fear, even though it was nebulous and involved just about everything, seemed to help. I have now gotten in the habit of facing fears, even if it takes a few tries.

east

[[Te...]]

i'm a friend who needed this forums to get an understanding...direct your friends here, and give them a little time to absorb the enormity of what you are experiencing...

[[sp...]]

I had this. I just spoke to friends. I refuse to be afraid. Don't let fear rule your life.

 

No truer words ever spoken. Fake it until you make it. I have kids and believe me, trying to pretend that some things are interesting when you're brain dead and emotionally numbed is very hard but ultimately it gets you out of your own head and for even a second you can feel "real" again.

[[Ra...]]

Whatever your brain is afraid of. EXPOSE yourself to it. Give benzo w/d a huge middle finger and embrace the feelings of boredom, disinterest and uncomfortability that come from putting the brain where the brain HATES to be.

[[Je...]]

I have been avoiding my friends as well.  I just made myself drive to Atlanta and spend the weekend there last weekend.  You have anxiety/fears that you need to overcome.  Exposing yourself slowly to social situations at your own pace is the only way to get over it.  Just to whatever you can deal with.  I picked a friend who has anxiety as well and she understands.  If you can't do it on your own, find a therapist who does cognitive behavioral therapy, it is the only way I am moving on today. 

 

Peace and you can do this!!!  Try not to dwell on your symptoms!!!!

[[ba...]]

most of my friends are healthy and dont understand what i feel like after i quit xanax

only my boyfriend seems to understand and cares on how i feel

[[Lo...]]

i don't have many friends but the ones who i chose to stay in my life are pretty understanding and are there as much a someone can be who have their owns lives to deal with.  they see the difference in me at the beginning until now.  they will never understand fully who could but they support.i had to stop hanging out with a lot of people or the relationship went away for a sec. but coming back. trying to start over with people in my life. I'm liking it. its a slow process but learning how to let healthy and understanding people in my life. honesty for me is the best thing. if people want to judge me then i don't want to hang out with them anyway. and i found if i keep talking about it to my friends they feel they have to help. when all i need is to take my time and heal and no judgement from people. i can't wait for the day when i don't even think about talking about this experience with them. but thankful to have them listen and let me vent.

[[...]]

I have been avoiding my friends as well.  I just made myself drive to Atlanta and spend the weekend there last weekend.  You have anxiety/fears that you need to overcome.  Exposing yourself slowly to social situations at your own pace is the only way to get over it.  Just to whatever you can deal with.  I picked a friend who has anxiety as well and she understands.  If you can't do it on your own, find a therapist who does cognitive behavioral therapy, it is the only way I am moving on today. 

 

Peace and you can do this!!!  Try not to dwell on your symptoms!!!!

 

Agreed!  Dolph, you're in too much of a negative thought pattern and spending too much time dwelling on maybes and what ifs and so on.  Can you start recognizing that in yourself and focus on moving forward, constantly challenging yourself gently to do more and more.  For the moment, forget how dead and detached you feel about everything, just know that it's par for the course, and that healing comes with every little "big" step you take for yourself.  And keep encouraging and patting yourself on the back!

[[Ne...]]

Years ago a friend struggling with alcoholism said she didn't want any friends that hadn't been through a 12 step program.  I was quite offended at the time since I hadn't been in any. Now I understand what she meant. It is just so much easier to talk to someone who has been there and done that. I still just look at the telephone when it rings.

 

I guess what really upsets me is what friends said after we figured out that it was the lorazepam making me crazy. They said "we thought it had to be drug related". Why didn't they share that with my husband who was under such pressure to discover what was wrong with his wife? The following is from a psychiatry website with a drug "fact" book.  If we had had any idea of the dangers of lorazepam I never would have taken it. No wonder the doctors are so ignorant.

 

Side Effects

In most cases, BZs have a benign side effect profile. Patients often resist taking BZs during the day (when they most need them) because they fear sedation, but you can reassure them that this side effect is usually mild and goes awaywithin a few days. All BZs cause physiological dependence if a patient takes a high enough dose for several weeks.

 

“Dependence” in this context simply means that abrupt cessation may lead to withdrawal symptoms such as insomnia, anxiety, or tremor. Serious withdrawal symptoms, such as delirium tremens or seizures, are very rare among patients who have taken therapeutic doses of BZs without adding alcohol or illicit drugs.  WRONG, WRONG, WRONG