scary window

[[xa...]]

Hello.

Since a few days, I'm now able to learn again, make exercise without giving up after half an hour. On the other side, I'm scared of developing a kind of pharmacological bipolarity and other horrific issues, as I feel awake and as I can't sleep very long. I'm on 3, 33 mg and won't decrease for a while.

 

I'm almost sure it is hypomania, but I don't have any extravagant ideas and was never bipolar. But I feel a bit apathetic.

 

 

I only experienced it very very more violently when I stopped cold turkey the antipsychotic prescribed in the past for a tiny depression : euphoria, followed by life threatening seizures.

 

In some words, I feel like becoming the ordinary person I was (work, friends, sport and study). But I'm scared of a

sudden crash. Any testimonies buddies ?

 

 

 

[[me...]]

Hi,

 

Congratulations on your window!  "Windows" and "waves" (up and down times) are common while we heal, benzo withdrawal can be like this for many people.  It does not mean you are bipolar or suffering from a psychological "disorder," it's only your body/mind trying to heal and return to normality. Though the ups and downs can be scary at times, they will be less frequent as you heal.  Please think of it as a healing process, which is what it is...and healing takes time.

 

[[xa...]]

Thank you megan. Did you also have nights were you felt like you were refreshed though you didn't sleep ?

[[me...]]

Thank you megan. Did you also have nights were you felt like you were refreshed though you didn't sleep ?

 

Not really, but when I couldn't sleep at night I'd take a nap during the day and I almost always felt refreshed after that.  My insomnia only lasted a few months, though.

[[xa...]]

The last milligrams' taper seem to be the worst. Hopefully it won't crash. Thank you and see you.

[[Cl...]]

Hello.

Since a few days, I'm now able to learn again, make exercise without giving up after half an hour. On the other side, I'm scared of developing a kind of pharmacological bipolarity and other horrific issues, as I feel awake and as I can't sleep very long. I'm on 3, 33 mg and won't decrease for a while.

 

I'm almost sure it is hypomania, but I don't have any extravagant ideas and was never bipolar. But I feel a bit apathetic.

 

 

I only experienced it very very more violently when I stopped cold turkey the antipsychotic prescribed in the past for a tiny depression : euphoria, followed by life threatening seizures.

 

In some words, I feel like becoming the ordinary person I was (work, friends, sport and study). But I'm scared of a

sudden crash. Any testimonies buddies ?

 

Hi Xavier! I also feel my life is coming back in a sense! That is GREAT!, I think better, I am emotional (laughs and tears again!), i can actually "see" a bit better and Megan is right, you do not have bipolar dissorder, it is a sympthom of this. During my silly rapid cuts and severas weeks after that, I was sleeping very few hours, I did feel refreshed some days after sleeping 3 or 4 h/night. Now I normally sleep well apart from the 5-7 days after my cuts. As looking at your signature you are plannig to cut 10% of your dose. I would not do that ever again, I felt horrible, I am cutting 0.0625 mg every 2 weeks and I am holding by now until these awful mental issues decrease. Nice that you are going to hold at this dose, this is a good idea. 

[[xa...]]

Thank you clona. Let's listen to the body and be wise. Good luck on your last steps.

[[Be...]]

Hang in there Xavier. Enjoy the hell out of that window!

[[Cl...]]

Thank you clona. Let's listen to the body and be wise. Good luck on your last steps.

Thank you Xavier! ... It is a long journey for me, but I will get there!

[[xa...]]

The kind of euphoria seems to have stabilized. The metallic taste in the mouth during this week-end is going away too and the appetite is quiet normal. But there is another symptom now : before sleeping, when the body relaxes, it is as if my body were suddenly entering in panic like a beginning of seizure though I have no worry at all. As If my body didn't accept correctly to return to its former state. That's my hypothesis. As I said above I experienced the same very more violently when I stopped cold turkey an antipsychotic and it resulted in seizures, sleep apnea, unable to eat, amnesia, epilepsy and so on. The only thing that makes me less worry is that I'm under valium at the same dose without playing russian roulette (ironically it saved me from psychiatrisation and the physician thinks I never had lived all thoses nightmares if I had taken valium as emergency after the serotoninergic syndrome a few years ago). Then, please excuse my drivel. I wonder if this kind of body (heart, brain especially) panic is common while entering in sleep's phase during benzo withdrawal. Actually panic is mentioned in withdrawal reports, but not precisely during entering in sleep. I feel quiet anxious too, with less desires, without any cause.

[[xa...]]

Finally I saw the pharmacologist and he decided to increase again at 15 mg, since the panic was becoming intense and he acknowledged the taper schedule was too fast. In july 2014, I was on 17 mg. 13 mg decrease in 4 months was maybe very too fast.