Feeling very much alone with trying to wean off xanax

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I don't even know where to begin. I just typed my story and it disappeared . I don't have the energy or mindset to type all that out again .

 

Long story short....been on Xanax for 2 yrs 3 months, been weaning for 2 yrs. I started at 6 mg a day, now down to 2.875 mg. I wean by .125mg every 21 days. At times I have to take holidays from weaning. This past yr the weaning slowed way down because my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer (she survived the chemo and radiation and doing well), then had my shoulder torn out of socket in July and had to have it reconstructed. And now tapering off propranolol that I was put on for migraines.

 

I'll post more of my story later. It's late, I'm tired but glad I found this board.

[Guest [Mi...]]

Hi, freedom1612.

 

Welcome to benzobuddies. Glad you found this board, too. 

 

You will find a lot of information and support here.  You're going through a lot right now. I'm glad your mom is doing well after her treatment. I hope your shoulder is feeling better. Looks like you've come a long way on your taper, and I can understand the need to take holidays from tapering.

 

A good resource about benzodiazepines is the Ashton Manual. Here is a link to the manual: Professor Ashtons Manual  It’s great for learning about these meds and for taper plans. Ashton recommends reducing between 5 - 10% every 10/14 days.

 

You'll find a great community of people here who will support and encourage you. Feel free to check out the forum and to post to any of the dedicated boards.

 

In addition to the Ashton Manual, here are some other resources:

 

For tapering advice, post here: General Taper Plans

 

For support with any symptoms you may have, post here: Withdrawal Support

 

Please add a signature (history of medication/doses etc). It will help members give you relevant advice. This link will show you how to Create a signature

 

Please let us know if you have any questions.

 

~ Mind

[[De...]]

Hello freedom1612,

 

Welcome to the forum from me too 

 

I'm very glad that your mum is now doing well after the cancer diagnosis, I'm sure that must have been a worrying time for you. I'm also sorry to hear about the shoulder injury, I can imagine that that would have been very painful, you've certainly had a tough time of it recently.

 

Congratulations on your taper so far, you've done very well and should feel proud of yourself. You'll be given plenty of support and tapering assistance here as you taper to zero.

 

It is normally recommended to taper from one drug at a time beginning with the benzodiazepine which in your case is the xanax. If you feel comfortable with tapering from the propranolol then that's fine but I thought I'd mention it. For any questions relating to the propranolol you can post on The Other Medications Board, here is a link to it :

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?board=60.0

 

 

I'm glad you found us and I wish you success with the taper.

 

Debbie

[[be...]]

welcome  you are not alone anymore. You found benzobuddies. We understand the struggles of withdrawal. You have done an amazing job on your taper so far. That is quite the accomplishment and you should be really proud of yourself. 

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Thank you all so much...good to hear someone is proud of me.  My doctor that put me on this horrible drug over 2 yrs ago, despite saying I would not go through this alone, has pretty much left me alone, but at least doesn't make me go cold turkey.  But I always have the fear deep inside me that he is just going to pass me off to another doctor cause he is tired of it taking so long and then the next doctor won't allow me the time to wean slowly.  I've talked to my doctor about this, and he always reassures me that won't happen.  He did admit that he feels bad that he put me on this drug to begin with, and he feels responsible.  (He is my primary care dr). 

 

I went to see him Aug 2012 when I couldn't handle the stress of my oldest daughter, now 21, anymore.  I'm divorced, her dad was of no help and I have no family around for support and the friends I had, pretty much stopped talking to me after I took FMLA 3 months off from work.  They would call to check on me, and want to know what was going on.  Then they slowly disappeared. 

 

My doctor put me on lexapro and xanax, and said at the time he was only going to keep me on it for 3 months just to help take the edge off to get me through the crisis my daughter was causing.  I remember looking at him, and telling him..."I don't want to get stuck on these drugs"....he said "I won't let you".  :'(

 

Two weeks after starting the lexapro I began suffering severe adverse reactions, and thoughts of running my car into a wall was beginning to sound like a good idea.  Luckily I had at least one friend that understood and I could call him and he would talk me home until I pulled into my garage safely.

 

Dr told me to stop the lexapro immediately.  I told him I would go through withdrawals...he said I had not been on it long enough.  I was on nortriptyline for migraines in 2010, only on it for 3 weeks.  Abruptly stopped per drs orders, because of side effects and not helping with migraines.  Suffered severe withdrawals...feelings of extreme drops in blood sugar, heart racing, vivid horrible nightmares, tremors, vertigo, electrical zaps in my brain, and body room spinning, feeling like your walking through a fun house and having the room flipped on you and falling to the floor.  I had to shave off little by little over 8 months to get off that drug.

 

Same thing, but worse happened coming off the lexapro.  I couldn't get out of bed for 3 days, felt like someone was reaching down my throat and trying to rip out my insides, the constant need to vomit, laying in bed shaking, and unable to sleep, room just spinning!!  I told another doctor about what I went through...she was in disbelief and said I should had been in a hospital and lucky I survived.  Withdrawals went on for another 3 weeks, but less intense.  When it all started, that is when my doctor told me to take the xanax 1mg every 4 hours to help with the withdrawals and then we would work on getting off the xanax.

 

2 yrs later...still trying to come off xanax.  But coming off at my pace, listening to my body...not going by what is recommended in the medical journals that some drs are taught.

 

Sad to say, I just noticed when I was looking at my profile, I found this site back Oct 9, 2012 at 2:35AM.  I think I was afraid of what I was reading, how could I have allowed myself to get stuck on a drug, and one so difficult to get off of.  But glad I found the site again.