Tapering Ativan and Feeling Totally Alone. Ugh.

[[lo...]]

Hi, everyone. I've been lurking on here for awhile, and I've gotten so much good information, I finally decided to register. :-)

 

I have a long history of anxiety and panic attacks, which have only increased as I've gotten older (I'm 37). I was prescribed a low dose of Ativan (.5 mg) in 2011 on an as-needed basis. Because of my history of alcoholism (I've been sober 10+ years), my psychiatrist gave me a limited supply each month (15 pills per month). This suited me fine, as I didn't want to become addicted to anything ever again, and I took them only when absolutely necessary.

 

I just want to state that despite my history with drinking, I never, EVER abused Ativan in any way. I always took it as prescribed.

 

This summer, the world just seemed to implode. Nothing personally was happening, but it just seemed the whole outside world became much, much worse and more unmanageable than it had been. My doc upped my monthly supply of Ativan to 24 pills per month, still at .5 mg. So I was taking them more regularly than I had before.

 

And then the nightmare started.

 

Interdose withdrawals. Rebound anxiety. Crippling headaches.

 

It took me a while, but I finally figured out what was going on. I went to my psychiatrist and told him what was happening. He didn't believe me. He told me that nobody could get addicted to a semi-regular dose of .5 mg of Ativan. He told me I was not experiencing any kind of withdrawals, that I was just anxious. I asked him to help me taper off of it, but he refused. He said to just stop taking it. So I did.

 

For two weeks, I went through cold turkey hell. I had to go stay with my parents because there was no way I could function on my own. I stopped eating, I lost 15 pounds, I had nonstop headaches, convulsions, muscle pain, disorientation, dizziness, and a whole slew of other physical and mental symptoms. I finally went to see a local doctor near my parents', who told me to start taking the Ativan again, stabilize, and then find another doctor to develop a tapering plan.

 

I stabilized at 1.5 mg, more than I'd ever taken before in my life. I was stabilized, but I wasn't stable. It took me awhile to find someone who knew anything about benzo withdrawal, but I finally found another psychiatrist. She told me she knew how to get people off benzos, and she would help me develop a tapering plan. I decided to go to her even though she doesn't take any insurance, and I was paying out-of-pocket (which I can't afford). When I finally got in to see her, she told me she agreed with everything my old psychiatrist did and that there was no way I would have any physical withdrawal from the Ativan! And she developed my tapering plan: over two weeks I would taper off completely. Two weeks. After all the research I'd done, I knew this wasn't safe. Again, I was told that no one can get addicted to such a low dose of Ativan, and I would have no withdrawal whatsoever. She told me it was all in my head.

 

She cut me down to 1 mg daily. And here I am, four days in. It's been easier than cold turkey, but not by much. I'm also taking Gabapentin and Remeron, which are kinda helpful. But for me, the headaches are the worst.

 

This whole thing has been going on for almost four months now. I feel like I'll never get better or feel normal--or even stable--ever again. And, of course, I feel completely discounted by my psychiatrist, who thinks I'm inventing this entire nightmare.

 

So that's where I'm at. My apologies for being so long-winded. But I'm glad to be here. :-)

[[me...]]

Hello lonelydragon. Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us!  I'm sorry you're going through all this, but stories like yours are not unusual.  Most doctors don't seem to realize the importance of slow tapering (we recommend a taper rate of about 5-10% every 10-14 days, though many here taper slower than that). One can become physically dependent on benzos in as little as two weeks, and there's also the issue of tolerance which means one's prescribed dosage stops working and has to be increased to get the same effect as before.  Here are a few links you'll find useful:

 

General Taper Plans

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper).

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

 

 

[Guest [ba...]]

Sorry that you're getting slammed by the med and by the doctor.  I c/t'd Ativan (2 mg) in January and it wasn't fun. 

 

While stabilizing on 1 mg may not be great, see if you can do it.  Tapering takes a fair amount of time.  The lower your starting point, the faster it will go.  If you haven't already done so, be sure to get some support for your panic/anxiety. Personally, I'd suggest a therapist over a psychiatrist. The latter seems too quick to hand out pills.

 

Good luck!

[[be...]]

welcome  I did a cold turkey from 8 mg of Ativan 11 months ago. It was the most horrific thing I have ever been through. It sounds like you found that out yourself. I think that if you come up with a sensible taper that you can get out Ativan. In my opinion a slow taper can greatly reduce withdrawal symptoms. Let us know how we can help.

[[Th...]]

You just practically told my story!  I am so glad you found this forum, this will help you a lot.

I totally relate to your story.  Same here, alcoholism, didn't want to get addicted to something, took as prescribed yada yada.  And then you are stuck in a nightmare you had no clue about.

 

Badsocref gave you good advice, imho.  If you can start at 1 it will go so much faster. 

 

 

[[lo...]]

Thank you so much, everyone, for the warm welcome. It means more than I could possibly say.

 

I'm taking badsocref's advice and going to try to stabilize on 1 mg before tapering any more.

 

You all have empowered me to look for a better psychiatrist who has experience with/knowledge of the Ashton method. I've already put out a few calls.

 

Again, thank you all. I am relieved to be here.