Am I at that point? But would it help...

[[Mi...]]

Seems like everyone thinks I need to get on some meds (even my old psychiatrist who I used to see in college...gave her a call the other day and she called me back) for sleep, for depression.

 

I am at a point where I would if I thought they would help, but I am so sensitive to psych drugs that I fear I will just have another  bad reaction (in the past I've tried Lexapro--up shaking and sweating for hours, generic Zoloft--twitching and hyper, generic Remeron--made me a zombie).

 

Is this really just benzo withdrawal? Will it get better? Last night once again maybe a micro sleep, but that's all.

 

My old psych suggested Seroquel for sleep. She said I'll never feel like myself if I don't sleep. There are just some scary side effects with Seroquel. Don't know that I want to chance it, but don't know how to continue on.

 

My daughter was sobbing yesterday (curled up in her closet), because I am always online looking at benzo withdrawal articles. She said when I do that I take myself further and further away from her.

 

Good G-d in heaven, what did I do to myself? Can I really heal? Will I be like this forever? A shell of my former self.

[[Ch...]]

I can only give you my opinion, everyone has to make their own decisions about meds, but after this disaster with Xanax, I wouldn't take any psych meds again.  I did take Lexapro for about a year, hard to say if it helped or not. 

 

Every medication given for sleep seems to eventually (some rather quickly) quit working and then there's another drug to taper that's no longer working. 

 

It takes longer than we expect, but you will heal.  You have several on and offs from benzos so it may take a bit longer, but you've got some months of healing already under your belt.

 

I don't know how old your daughter is, but she's crying out for your attention, mama... 

 

[[Mi...]]

Thank you, Challis. I took Reneron five years ago for sleep and you are right, it pooped out quickly, after less than two weeks. I was on it for six weeks and when I did a taper I felt like I had the worst stomach virus ever for a couple of days. I was so lucky to get off the Remeron and benzos back in 2010 and be back to myself in a couple of months. This time has been brutal.

 

My daughter is 15. I have not been the mother I was since last October when I had severe anxiety and started benzos again. It is so hard to even fake it for her sake and my son's when I am so sleep deprived and have no motivation. The change in me--physically and personality wise, has been shocking for them. What these drugs do to people and their families is evil.