do windows get less farther out or more and more intense,heard both/confused..10

[[it...]]

I yanked myself basically off of 1.5 mg xan ten months ago ct after being on Benz 3 years.. Is this why I'm still having rough months..am I gonna suffer for a majority of 18 months..? Or will it let up after 12? I'm OK but still kinda bad..I'm also confused if the longer your out in WD if the waves get shorter and less tense..or more intolerable and more intense in the last stretches. Heard both so confused! Also the dose I took was low to moderate? Am I luckier than I think. Fml

[[ON...]]

bump

[[Ca...]]

Curious about this too. Month 10 everything changed for me. Up until then I'd have 1-2 week waves & 2-6 week windows. I've been in a wave since july (3 months)... I'm hoping that I'm just healing rapidly at this point & that's why I'm suffering. But in other ways I'm better. So it's confusing.

[[Mi...]]

I am excited to here more on this as well IML !    For me I am not healed 9 months out.  I c/t but was reinstated in the ER almost died....  Anyways I thought I tapered right after that.  Sure wish I knew of this support group before.  I had a quick 6/8 wk tapper 1 mg x 2 daily Two wks (which was higher than I ever took in the first place like double).  The .5 mg x2 daily Two wks.  Then .25x 2 Two weeks. Then .25 x 1.    All the time a short life Ativan.  OMG, I was in acute w/d while still ingesting this shit.  Anyways I pretty much include myself in the c/t group...  Idk?...    What my experience has been is A wave till about 6 months.  Then some windows which started small and quick lived.  Now just at 9 months exactly.  I have been in a window for 3 weeks.  Not a OMG I am normal window but A I might actually heal window.  Most symptom are there but way less intense.  Instead of living in a wave I feel kinda stuck inbtwn in something else, with small less intense waves that come quick and go quick.......      Wishing you healing, MJ

[[ma...]]

I seem to have the following pattern, wave for 2 weeks followed by a 5-6 week window - I'm stuck in a wave of big depression and occasional anxiety spikes for the past 9 days now, just hope it lifts by the start of next week... I've got everything crossed that everything will be ok after 12 months.

[[ON...]]

Im 9 months and a week out c/t and I haven't had a window in at least 2 months. I hope thats a good thing but idk how it could be.

[[Ha...]]

I been fine for three months boom three weeks ago at almost 11 months I'm back in acute, tachycardia last night and acute like today!! I mean I know we dontv heal in a strait line but omg! Ten months seem to be a bad wave for allot I hope by dec I'm ok!

[[Ch...]]

I'm 2 1/2 years out after very long term use.  Looking back, there were no windows of any significance for some months.  Waves and windows  are/were of longer duration... a week to three weeks)

 

In general they became less intense and less frequent over time.  Several times I thought they were gone only to have another one.  I could pretty much pinpoint the stress that would end a window and start a wave. 

 

There's some comfort in understanding why this is happening and that it will end.  The first bad wave after a great window was a crushing disappointment, I do remember that.

 

[[ma...]]

I can relate to that Challis, I too feel that when I have a long window I begin to think that this is all over only to be struck down with a wave that crushes my hope and leaves me severely depressed. I can't imagine a worse drug withdrawal than benzo withdrawal, the length and the non-linearity of it all makes it hell on earth!

 

During this latest wave I'm having one horrible symptom during sleep which causes me to think I'm falling which causes me to wake up in a panic and I can't get back to sleep for hours :/

[[Ca...]]

Max- does it feel like an adrenaline surge? I dealt w/ that last night... I would shoot right up & my heart would race but it's like w/ my mind I led my body out of panic (I used to not be able to do it so I felt like that was a sign I'm healing)... But it happened several times before I was finally able to sleep. I also had slight muscle cramping & contracting- I've had it before really bad to where I literally felt crippled & could barely walk. But it felt like my whole body seized up. Anyone else have that happen? If so, did you find it was related to anything in particular? For example I had a banana & it seemed to go away.

[[ma...]]

Yeah I guess it was like an adrenaline surge, when it happens I wake up, bolt upright, take deep breathes, heart races, anxiety goes way up and me thinking to myself, "Oh shit, oh shit!"

[[Ca...]]

Yep- that's what was happening to me last night. It seems to hit when I'm super exhausted too which makes it worse.

[[Mi...]]

Omg, I have had that a few times feels like you are falling through your bed scary as hell......