Four Months, Three Weeks

[[Ve...]]

Hello. Been reading this forum since I stared tapering off 4mg Klonopin (since 2003/2004, I think) a day in March/April of 2014. Last 1/4th of a 5mg of Diazepam was July 2nd and have been in Withdrawal Syndrome since then. I guess it's been a almost four months and three weeks now. Over the time, everyone here has given me a great deal of strength and helpful information, so thank you all for that.

 

Most of the I'm Losing My Marbles Help Me feeling is down to a somewhat manageable level, so I hope I won't be a huge burden. I suppose I want to help, if I can. I guess I'm one of the types of people who are strongest for themselves when I feel I'm helping someone else.

 

Thank you for your time.

[[me...]]

Welcome to the forum, we're glad you found us!  Congratulations on getting off klonopin, and I'm glad you're healing well. Here are a few links you'll find useful:

 

Post Withdrawal Recovery Support.

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative source on what to expect in withdrawal and recovery.  Dr. Ashton is an expert in the field.  She describes and explains withdrawal symptoms, and there is also a section with withdrawal/taper schedules.

 

Please take the time to Create a Signature.  This will allow others to see where you are in the process so they can better support you.

 

Again, welcome!

 

 

[[Ve...]]

Thank you!

 

Put in a quick signature. Thank you for the links.

 

Thank you to everyone on BenzoBuddies over the past months. I wasn't a member then, but I was reading. You all got me through some very tough times. I owe you.

[[pr...]]

VEP,

 

Welcome to the forums.  I used to lurk for months too before I joined; glad I did.  Good healing to you. Love

[[ME...]]

Hi Vegan,

 

You are lucky, you were able to come benzodiazepine after so many years on it.

 

I am tapering down from Klonopin.  I am at 0.5 mg as of this day.

 

Any idea to fight sadness, melancholy, etc.?

 

 

MEexpat

[[De...]]

Hello VeganExceptParmesan,

 

I too would like to welcome you to the forum 

 

Congratulations on being 4 months benzo free, you've done very well and should feel proud of yourself!

 

That's great news that you are seeing good improvements. It can take a while for a full recovery to take place and for the central nervous system to fully heal after long term benzo use but the symptoms will lessen the further out you go and you will make a full recovery with time, that's for sure.

 

I know where you're coming from when you see you feel better helping others, I feel this way too plus I find it a good distraction from my own symptoms.

 

 

I'm glad you finally decided to join us here and I wish you a speedy recovery.

 

Debbie

[[be...]]

Hello. Been reading this forum since I stared tapering off 4mg Klonopin (since 2003/2004, I think) a day in March/April of 2014. Last 1/4th of a 5mg of Diazepam was July 2nd and have been in Withdrawal Syndrome since then. I guess it's been a almost four months and three weeks now. Over the time, everyone here has given me a great deal of strength and helpful information, so thank you all for that.

 

Most of the I'm Losing My Marbles Help Me feeling is down to a somewhat manageable level, so I hope I won't be a huge burden. I suppose I want to help, if I can. I guess I'm one of the types of people who are strongest for themselves when I feel I'm helping someone else.

 

Thank you for your time.

 

Congrats on being benzo free after so many years. I am so glad you officially joined after reading for so many years. You should be really proud of your self for what you have done. That is quite the accomplishment to come off of 4 mg of K. I, too, am strongest when I help people. We have some great boards on our forum.

[[Ve...]]

Any idea to fight sadness, melancholy, etc.?

 

Putting me to work already!

 

Thank you all for the warm welcome.

 

I feel very fortunate to have been highly motivated to stop the Benzos. Everyone's story is unique, though we all have similarities, but mine involves a lot of pain and the use of a wheelchair as an assistive device. I was strung out on every imaginable thing, but the pain kept escalating. It got to a point where I figured not being medicated might possibly be better than being on medications that didn't seem to be working at all.

 

If there's one skill I have in life, it's being exceptional at seeking to avoid pain. So, there I was, highly motivated to stop. Very highly motivated. Quite possibly more motivated than I've ever been at anything in my life. Ever. Despite getting signals from every direction that I'd never make it, that it wasn't worth anyone's time or effort to help me, that being told there was nowhere for me to go for help.

 

As it turned out, it was the Clonazepam that was keeping me in the dang chair!

 

So, every moment I'm on my feet is a soaring high that has no equal. And I spend a great deal of time on my feet nowadays, knowing how thin that line is that separates the two.

 

But, of course, I'm a novelty seeker. Even that gets boring after a while. Sometimes I amaze even myself.

 

I fight the sadness, melancholy, sometimes by feeling it. It's a thing that I used to do a lot when I was in acute withdrawal, just telling myself I'm a passenger, along for the ride. Turned something horrible into something interesting. It's Halloween in the U.S. coming soon, so everyone's looking for a scare. We've got the best haunted house in town right in our own heads!

 

That doesn't always work, of course. So, for me it's finding things to do and then breaking those activities down into their component parts. Our brains are working overtime at over-analyzing things, right? Might as well put that to use. Even though many times the processes are faulty and foggy. Still, doing the best one can is all that can reasonably be expected, so that's what to do. Turn the sickness into a superpower.

 

So, yea, breaking down things like exercise or cooking or going to the store into component parts. Then doing part one, even when that's difficult. Sometimes it's close to dang impossible. If it's ever impossible, then I can break that down again. Find a part that's possible. Then do it. Then have a freaking huge celebration inside my head for myself. Having that celebration releases dopamine and it's what my brain is craving when I'm feeling down.

 

So, yea, either I spend some time alone with the maudlin emotions just watching them from a safe distance, trying not to get too emotionally invested in them or I try to counter them by finding easy and frequent milestones to reach for.

 

It's not as easy as it seems writing it down, though. Always more tricky in practice. But this is what we do, right? Learn how to live our lives without the medication we took to not have to learn how to live our lives?

 

Best wishes in your recovery.

[[Ve...]]

Six months! Woo!

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=122136.0

[[ME...]]

Hi Vegan, thank you for your thoughts.  Feeling sadness is healthy sadness and it may be comforting.  It's something that I have been incapable of until now.

 

I am still doggedly searching for drug that may be useful.  Or there could be a trick how to use potent drug like Paxil without suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms.

 

How come many antidepressants has equally devastating side effects?

 

If you have known the consequences, probably you had a second thought of taking Clonazepam.

 

Me, I think I will take it even if I am told of the consequences because I was so devastated back then.  But after experiencing the intensity of agony and the seemingly endless period of suffering, I will not take it again.