Afraid of being crazy

[[Va...]]

Total panic. I feel like I am crazy. Anxiety over the roof. Scared of everyting. Already felt this way today when a friend called. He told about a neighbour who has gone crazy and is threatening him every day. He had to call the police. The man probably has korsakof. But I only thought, but I am crazy too. I am just as crazy as this man. I am so scared of doing mad things now. I am so scared my parents cant cope anymore. I cant deal with it. I am so weak. I need this to end. I am really afraid of myself. Please help. How to cope?

[Guest [Or...]]

Let me give you the best piece of advice I can

 

The fact that you wrote that you THINK you are crazy proves that you arent crazy. People that are actually crazy dont know that they are crazy. They think that what they are doing is actually good. Its very common in anxiety states to feel like you are going crazy. Look it up on Google! But, you arent. I have thought so many, many times during this experience and guess what? Hasnt happened yet! It wont to you either. When those thoughts come, just try to distract.

[[Mo...]]

Vanille, you are going through acute wd now and its horrible and scary.

this will pass believe me, just take it one day at a time.....baby steps.

 

when i was at your stage , i used to tell myself its not me ...its those bloody pills

and i have to push through no matter what. keep going its temporary.

[[Va...]]

Vanille, you are going through acute wd now and its horrible and scary.

this will pass believe me, just take it one day at a time.....baby steps.

 

when i was at your stage , i used to tell myself its not me ...its those bloody pills

and i have to push through no matter what. keep going its temporary.

 

Thanks. It is hard to think it is not me. So tired and mentally weak. But I know I have to. Reading you went trhough the same helps. At 54 days I did not have this before. Not as bad as now. You would think the worst part was over now. Or at least no things that are worse than before.

[[Va...]]

Let me give you the best piece of advice I can

 

The fact that you wrote that you THINK you are crazy proves that you arent crazy. People that are actually crazy dont know that they are crazy. They think that what they are doing is actually good. Its very common in anxiety states to feel like you are going crazy. Look it up on Google! But, you arent. I have thought so many, many times during this experience and guess what? Hasnt happened yet! It wont to you either. When those thoughts come, just try to distract.

 

Thanks. I guess that neighbour thinks he is right. He is mad cuase the lights outside dont burn at night. But my friend cant help it cause there is something broken. Another man who called for a technician explained it to the crazy man. But he still is going after my friend. So he really lost his mind.

 

Ditraction is hard causo of sensitivty to light, noise etc. No concentration. Home alone. Wil try though. Hearing from people gone through this is my lifeline.

[[be...]]

I know firsthand just how horrific symptoms from a cold turkey withdrawal can be. I thought many times in early withdrawal that I was going crazy. I thought I was going insane. I thought I was losing my mind. The mental torment was absolutely excruciating. It sounds like you are in the acute phase of withdrawal. This is when all my symptoms were at their peaks. This phase can last up to two months, but the good thing is that it does go away. There will be a time, and probably not too long when you start to feel less crazy. A cold turkey withdrawal is rough, but in the end we do all heal.

[[Va...]]

How do familymembers cope? Or housemates?

[[me...]]

Total panic. I feel like I am crazy. Anxiety over the roof. Scared of everyting. Already felt this way today when a friend called. He told about a neighbour who has gone crazy and is threatening him every day. He had to call the police. The man probably has korsakof. But I only thought, but I am crazy too. I am just as crazy as this man. I am so scared of doing mad things now. I am so scared my parents cant cope anymore. I cant deal with it. I am so weak. I need this to end. I am really afraid of myself. Please help. How to cope?

 

Hi,

 

Many of us have this fear at some point during withdrawal.  I know I did.  But rest assured that as time passes, and your mind settles down, this will become a thing of the past.  Meanwhile, distract yourself with gentle, soothing activities that get your mind off your symptoms...

 

[[ea...]]

Crazy fear was my worst symptom. And I thought I had lost my mind, too. When a person goes CT, the withdrawal can be worse, because its too sudden a jolt to the system. It took me quite a while to feel better, but it happened and it will for you, too.

Distraction IS hard when you feel that bad. Yet, it helps to try, even if its just coming here, reading and posting. Once you are feeling better, you will be able to find other things to do.

I can identify with neighbor problems! Ive had several, and its bothered me no end. I have to try to step back and not let other people's craziness upset me.

east

[[Va...]]

But this severe anxiety is a wave isnt it? It should pass? Not being there for days or weeks? I had anxiety before in the first weeks but it passed and came back. It was gone for 14 days or more. I had some anxiety but not this overwhelming kind.

[[ea...]]

More than likely, it is. But you understand I cannot say for sure, right? Waves of symptoms are so common. Try to look on the positive side of this - you had a period of time when you did NOT have this anxiety...and that is wonderful!

 

What are you doing to cope with it?

east

[[Va...]]

Thanks East.

 

I cant do much. Just lying and looking at the iPad at benzobuddies. Looking for hope. Read a comic.

I am so tired and everything is to much. Cant watch tv or listen to anything. My brain cant process. Have been this way al the time.

 

Try to avoid people in the house. Try to accept the feeling. Wait for sleep shutdown.

[Guest [Or...]]

Thanks East.

 

I cant do much. Just lying and looking at the iPad at benzobuddies. Looking for hope. Read a comic.

I am so tired and everything is to much. Cant watch tv or listen to anything. My brain cant process. Have been this way al the time.

 

Try to avoid people in the house. Try to accept the feeling. Wait for sleep shutdown.

 

Thats the acute phase! Once that passes, things will become manageable, if not all gone. A lot of people heal after acute and have no side effects after. So, hang in there! Good days are coming!

[[ea...]]

If that's all you can do right now, its fine. I couldn't watch TV either, and music hurt my ears. I practically lived here on the forum for months. But when I started to feel a bit better, I got moving. I was still pretty sick and crazy, and some of the things I did were downright silly. But - they kept me busy and served as distraction from horrendous symptoms.

All this you're feeling right now will eventually get better. Try to trust in this, relax a little and rest. Nothing you can do will make it go faster. Just do what you can, forgive yourself for not doing more...and go with the flow.

east

[[Va...]]

How did you sleep in that phase? So exhausted in my brain. But nights with zero sleep. Getting more crazy.

[[Va...]]

And thanks everyone. Every message helps. 

[Guest [Or...]]

How did you sleep in that phase? So exhausted in my brain. But nights with zero sleep. Getting more crazy.

 

I dont know how, but I have only had two insomnia episodes thus far in my withdrawal. Each lasting 3-5 days. Chamomile tea helps, I guess.

[[Va...]]

Orionbash, do you consider yourself out of acute? You are only two weeks ahead of me.

[Guest [Or...]]

Orionbash, do you consider yourself out of acute? You are only two weeks ahead of me.

 

I honestly have no clue. My symptoms are so off from others. I have never felt the 9th circle of hell that others have described. I can count on one hand the number of times i felt like i was dying, but didnt. Seems very mild to those that feel like they are dying everyday and going crazy.My symptoms change hourly compared to most that complain of constant symptoms all day. I get relief at night. I've slept the majority of the time. I have windows and waves. But. I have felt like this the entire time. My withdrawal seems so mild compared to most. Maybe its because I used for 3 weeks and did a weird taper? I dunno. I also had 2 100% windows 30 mins at a time in acute. The only symptom that I have now is anxiety. Pure chemical anxiety and its associated symptoms with or without panic. No depression. No OCD. Just some breathing shit, tight muscles, and the odd skin sensation. Oh and derealization. But the latter doesn't scare me too much and only lasted 3 days at a high intensity. I really have no clue where I am in withdrawal. Lol. And the constant fear that others talk about only last for 20 mins to a couple of hours at a time. My experience is really bizarre.

[[ea...]]

Orion, I doubt theres any reason for why you are one of the lucky ones. But isn't it wonderful that you are!!!

east

 

[Guest [Or...]]

Orion, I doubt theres any reason for why you are one of the lucky ones. But isn't it wonderful that you are!!!

east

 

I hope so! If I'm not out of acute, I can't really see much lasting afterwords. I have my moments, dont get me wrong, but Ashton describes post-acute as mild with symptoms that diminish over time. But, people report that the symptoms become manageable after acute. Mine aren't manageable, but they are mild already. Its SO weird!! If I am one of the lucky ones, I promise I will write a success story so others can be inspired :0 I think sleep has a lot to do with it though. The brain heals faster with a full nights sleep.

[[Va...]]

Orion, I doubt theres any reason for why you are one of the lucky ones. But isn't it wonderful that you are!!!

east

 

I hope so! If I'm not out of acute, I can't really see much lasting afterwords. I have my moments, dont get me wrong, but Ashton describes post-acute as mild with symptoms that diminish over time. But, people report that the symptoms become manageable after acute. Mine aren't manageable, but they are mild already. Its SO weird!! If I am one of the lucky ones, I promise I will write a success story so others can be inspired :0 I think sleep has a lot to do with it though. The brain heals faster with a full nights sleep.

 

 

There is realy no way to 'get' this process. But our bodies were not made for this chemical! It has only been around since 1950. How do our bodies know what to do?

 

It is a miracle we do heal. In wild life we would have been eaten long before healing could take place. Well, we have been eaten before, while ON the drug in our sleep.

[[Va...]]

Before sleep the anxiety got down. It is still somewhere in my stomach but it is not that bad. Other symptoms are more present now, headache, pain in the eyes, oversensitive to anything, no balance etc.

 

Woke up with a nightmare this night. Had only one nightmare before in this 7 weeks.

 

I really feel I am doing worse lately than before. Some things looked less typical like the quick rotation of things and things that were gone for days. My hope for a quick recovery deminishes.

[Guest [Or...]]

Before sleep the anxiety got down. It is still somewhere in my stomach but it is not that bad. Other symptoms are more present now, headache, pain in the eyes, oversensitive to anything, no balance etc.

 

Woke up with a nightmare this night. Had only one nightmare before in this 7 weeks.

 

I really feel I am doing worse lately than before. Some things looked less typical like the quick rotation of things and things that were gone for days. My hope for a quick recovery deminishes.

 

If it makes you feel any better, I was pretty much normal in my first month. Just regular, manageable anxiety. It wasnt until my 6th week that shit hit the fan. Thats when I started to get paranoid, had unmanageable chemical anxiety and fear, the WEIRDEST BREATHING ISSUES OMG. Weird stuff. I think it has to do with taking a long half-life benzo. The symptoms slowly ease up on us and then BAM. We get hit later with the worst of it. A lot of people that take K and Valium have reported that their 2nd month was the worst month. Whereas people that CT off of Ativan go nuts in the first month and it eases up from there. Detox centres (Like the Coleman institute) say that long half-life benzos can have acute symptoms for at least 90 days. So, hang in there Vanille! YOU GOT THIS!

[[Mo...]]

Vanille, start breathing the right way...... belly breathing excercise.

take a deep breath through your nose...hold for a count of 6 ...and slowly out

through your mouth again , it helps if you do it the right way.

 

There are gabaas in our airways , my theory is, when they are  returning back... this process can

set off anxiety as well , acute wd is terrible but it will pass.