Horrible Withdrawal hit me hard again

[[ME...]]

I am an asian expat in Saudi Arabia.  I was on 1 mg Rivotril, and Saudi Arabia banned the medicine.  So I have to stop it.  My tapering was going ok, bearable, sometimes bad, somedays good.  As my dosage go down, I was tempted to accelerate the tapering.  Then here I am again, in deep mental agony, at the point of losing my will to live.

 

Please help.

[[ma...]]

Hi  MEexpat Welcome to Benzobuddies

 

We are so glad you found us, don’t try and to accelerate your taper, benzos need to be tapered slow.  Are you familiar with the  Ashton Manual , it is an excellent resource for information about these medications and gives a lot of information about withdrawal/tapering. 

 

How long have you been taking Rivotril ( clonazepam) ? If it is more than a few months then a slow taper can help minimize withdrawal effects.  It is generally recommended to taper no more than 5-10% every 10-14 days.  This is a guideline and it is ok to adjust this schedule for  your own comfort.

 

Your going to be ok, it will get better. We have a great community here of knowledgeable and friendly people who understand this process.  They will be willing to share their experience with you.  Feel free to ask questions so that members can respond

 

Here are some helpful links:

 

The Ashton Manual. 

 

Withdrawal Support

 

General Taper Plans

 

If you would be so kind as to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice this link will show you how to”Create a signature”

 

Welcome aboard

 

Magrita

 

[[ME...]]

Thank you Magrita,

 

I have been on Rivotril/Klonopin for 2 years at 1 mg, there were times that I took 2 mg or 4 mg in 4 straight days.  Then Saudi Arabia banned the drug.  I started my taper at 1 mg, then down to 0.9375 mg using 1/4 of 2 mg and 7/8 of 0.5 mg.  I even used excel for my tapering schedule.  Sometimes it is bearable but sometimes it is not, and I call it timeout and took high dosage again.  I failed 14 times, until I was able to stabilize and the withdrawal symptoms bearable.  In 2 months I was able to go down to 0.5 mg.  I observed that as the dose becomes lower, the intensity of withdrawal symptoms becomes less.  I was tempted to accelerate the reduction and I realized that I reduced my dosage to 0.375 mg in just 5 days, because I was feeling ok.  Suddenly I am in hell again.  For many days now, I am trying to endure it.  I keep it at 0.375 mg until I feel better.

 

Thanks for your reply.  I need solace.  And I feel I found solace here.

 

MEexpet

[[ma...]]

Hi MEexpat

 

Withdrawal is awful, I know your suffering at the moment but it will get easier.  I think maybe you have gone too fast and that's why you keep failing in your attempts. Take your time, you will do it this time. I am sure some of our Klonopin members will advise and welcome you.

 

We will support you through this, you are not alone

 

Magrita

 

 

 

[[ME...]]

It's me again Magrita, I read a page in your story and it seems that your situation years ago was worse than I do.  It's good to know that you were able to recover and get off these medicines that do equal harm. 

 

I am presently experiencing panic, and I hope it won't lead to severe panic attack. 

 

I will not be able to follow the Ashton Manual for tapering, because valium (for subtitution) and all benzodiazapines are all banned now here in Saudi Arabia.

 

I think the only option I have now is to stay at 0.375 mg of clonazepam and resume tapering when my brain stabilize. 

 

I really hope to recover like you.

 

 

MEexpat

[[ma...]]

Hi MEexpat, thanks for reading my story, you will get through this so try and stay calm.  Do you have enough clonazepam to finish your taper?  I am sorry you find yourself in this predicament.

 

You will recover I promise you.

 

Magrita

[[ME...]]

Thank you so much for your encouragement.  I have more than 100 tablets of 0.5 mg clonazepam.  More than enough for slow tapering because I am now taking 3/4 only every day.

 

I am still keeping my 2 mg tablets, in case I stumble in a dire situation and needed it.  I hope not.  I am truly miserable.  I cannot find a word to describe the feeling of withdrawal symptoms.  I would simply say, I have experience what is like to be in hell.

 

I have some improvement now, I am looking forward going back to our residential camp and find comfort with my friends.

 

It is 4 pm here in Saudi Arabia and we are going home in 1 hour.

 

Thanks.

 

MEexpat

[[ME...]]

Dear Benzobuddies,

 

I am on Day 7 of horrible withdrawal symptoms from Klonopin.  I am still in hell.  I am thinking to increase my dose again to arrest the imbalance in my brain.  Any advise please.

 

I feel almost unbearable head pressure, depression and hopelessness.  My life is void, empty and away from my love ones.

 

 

MEexpat

[[ME...]]

Dear anybody,

 

I am thinking to take 1.5 or 2 mg of Klonopin right now.  (after enduring 2 months of hardship of slow tapering and reaching 0.375 mg).

 

Please help.  Please advise me.

 

 

MEexpat

[[ME...]]

Dear Megan918,

 

I am thinking to take another 1 mg of Klonopin just today to GET BACK MY BRAIN BALANCE AND MY LIFE.

 

Please advise me.

 

 

MEexpat

[[me...]]

Dear Megan918,

 

I am thinking to take another 1 mg of Klonopin just today to GET BACK MY BRAIN BALANCE AND MY LIFE.

 

Please advise me.

 

 

MEexpat

 

Hi,  I'm sorry you find yourself in this situation, I do understand how you feel.  I was forced to do a fast taper because my prescription had been stopped.  However, if you truly can't get any more of the medication (you say it's been banned where you are), please try to make it last as long as you can.  Using it all up at once won't help you in the long run.  Is there any doctor you can go to who might be able to help you? 

[[ME...]]

Dear Megan,

 

Thank you so much for your reply Megan,  we are in a very remote desert in Saudi Arabia (800 km from hospitals or doctor).

 

But I have enough Klonopin (2mg 200 tablets, 0.5mg 150 tablets), more than enough for slow tapering.

 

I am waiting for another 1 or 2 hours if I could tough it out.  I am already at 0.375 mg of Klonopin or clonazepam.  I reduced from 0.5mg to 0.375 mg in just 5 days.  And ended up in hell.

 

I am thinking to take another 1 or 1.5 mg today, and go down tomorrow at 0.5 mg. 

 

What do you think?  Take it, or wait my brain to stabilize, I am afraid it may take long to stabilize.  But if I take high dosage again, I lost my effort for the last 2 months.

 

 

MEexpat

[[ME...]]

dear benzobuddies,

 

please help me

 

 

MEexpat

[[ME...]]

Dear everybody,

 

I cannot bear it anymore, so I took another 1.5 mg of Rivotril/Klonopin or Clonazepam in addition to 0.4375 mg that I took this morning.  I just want to get out of hell.  I will start again my tapering from 1.9375 mg.  Then I will take 1 mg for 2 days, and then 0.5 mg the following days.  I believe I could go down rapidly to 0.5 mg because that is my bearable dosage that I reached in my tapering.

 

This time I will taper more slowly and carefully.  I will avoid disruption of balance in my brain again.  I hope the extra 1.5 mg that I took will do the job.

 

Your presence in his community means a lot to me, it gives me a feeling of a second home.  I am a Filipino.  5,000 miles away from home.  Working 2 years straight and no plan of going back home as of this time.

 

Yours truly,

 

MEexpat

 

I hope my failures and perseverance could give some ideas to those who are just entering the process of tapering from benzodiazapines.  I learned this from my own experience and suffering.

 

Yours truly,

MEexpat

[[ME...]]

Dear Benzobuddies,

 

Additional 1.5 mg of clonazepam did the job.  Now I can function at work.  It is really a powerful drug.  I feel good because I feel like "intoxicated".  But I can think well, except for short memory problem that I notice immediately.

 

So I will start slow tapering again.  From 1.9375, then 1 mg (2 days), 0.5 mg (until I am comfortable), then continue slow tapering.

 

 

MEexpat

Shaybah, Saudi Arabia

 

[[...]]

Hi ME

I'm sorry I didn't see your post earlier.  I found that when I went down too fast from .45 to .375, I didn't have to go way up to get relief.  I just went back up to .4 and felt much better.  Once you start tapering again you might try first just going up a little bit rather than way up first.  You probably have to guess if you don't have compounded pills in smaller doses how much.  Good luck.  I know it must be very hard to taper in your situation.

[[ME...]]

Hi jth,

 

I notice that you put HELL at 0.2mg, is it more difficult as the dose goes down?

 

I feel and I thought that the intensity of withdrawal decreases as the dose goes down.

 

Is it equally difficult as the dosage goes down and down? 

 

 

MEexpat

[[pi...]]

Yes, many report stronger symptoms as the dose is lowered. The best way to counteract this is to go very slowly, which is what I read you are intending to do.  I yo yoed around with my doses while on clonazepam (klonopin), the cuts I made were pretty brutal. This was before I found the Ashton Manual and started to learn more about the mechanics of these types of drugs amd the value of a slow taper.

 

pianogirl

[[ME...]]

Dear pianogirl,

 

It is very surprising that as you go down to lower dose the symptoms increases.  Maybe it means that the patient brain has not fully healed yet, and less Klonopin will make the patient experience more horrible symptoms.  During my initial taper, I felt that the symptoms becomes less intense, that's why I speed it up.  At 0.375 mg I got stuck and back to hell.

 

Klonopin does not cure.  It only calms down the brain.  As we remove the drug from our body, there is a possibility that we would need another drug.  If we are completely healed at the end of tapering, then we are pretty lucky. 

 

My problem now, even though I am still far away from jumping off Klonopin, is the presence of stressor.

 

I don't want to bother you with that at this time.  I have enought trouble of weaning off Klonopin at this moment.

 

Thanks,

 

 

MEexpat

[[pi...]]

 

Klonopin does not cure.  It only calms down the brain.  As we remove the drug from our body, there is a possibility that we would need another drug.  If we are completely healed at the end of tapering, then we are pretty lucky. 

 

 

No klonopin does not cure, it just masks feelings and emotions that as humans we should experience. It puts a haze on the world and how we see it.  Some people may need medication later on, but I do know of many people who found their anxiety and or depression was much better once off benzos and healed.  We learn how to deal with these things in withdrawal which amplifies anxiety and depression.  I do feel lucky, I'm recovered and need no other medications. That is except for a drug for osteoporosis.

 

pianogirl

[[ME...]]

Dear Pianogirl,

 

I am only 2 days here in BB, but I already learned and discovered many things.  I also find comfort, in knowing that I am not alone in my suffering and many souls are suffering the same, some are even more serious and unbearable.

 

I never know that I will be stuck with Klonopin at this extent.  The advantage of Klonopin is the absence of hangover.  My first medication was Remeron and Citalopram.  It numbed my emotion.  I was not affected by problems or stressors or fears, but equally I cannot feel happiness with anything, even music is not enjoyable.  With Klonopin, you can feel happiness for a day or two, or continuously if you take it regularly, until you become tolerant.

 

Thanks for your sharing.

 

Tomorrow is another day of battle. 

 

 

MEexpat

 

[[ME...]]

Dear Benzobuddies,

 

I had relief with 1.9375 mg of Klonopin yesterday.  For me, I cannot regain balance in my brain without taking high dosage.  But I could go down immediately to my dosage level in my recent tapering.  I took 0.5 mg today. 

 

Joining BB helped me a lot.

 

Thank you so much.

 

 

MEexpat

[[gr...]]

magandang umaga ME

 

Please try to make a plan that will reduce your medicine much slower. Going from .5 to .375 is too much. You see my signature, you can see how slow i go and still i suffer. I hope you feel better and you can do it, its just hard for some of us.

 

I am pogi  nice to meet you.

 

[[ME...]]

Hello Groovejuice,

 

Looking at your signature, you did the tapering in 9 months from 1 mg.  You did it in the Philippines or in another country?  I am just wondering if there are professional help available in the Philippines.

 

I am starting again at 0.5 mg, if I feel horrible today I will take another 0.5 mg until my brain and emotion is bearable and comfortable.

 

Thanks.

 

MEexpat

[[gr...]]

I am in the states ME. I dont think the islands are going to have much help...i just do not know this for sure though.

Maybe...maybe... Manila. Try to go down small percentages. Pray for you...God Bless.